The problem surfaced when, after a successful meeting with a potential client, I found myself having to answer the "big" question he asked at the end of the meeting--my fee. Well, he was asking me to do something new that was unusual. A busy developer of a major redevelopment project that was going to be tourism related, he needed help in reviewing vast amounts of information via publications, web sites, etc. to gather ideas for his project. Wow! Okay - so I hit the Internet -- no such luck in figuring out what to charge. Then, I e-mailed a friend who was a business consultant and he offered no advice. Then, I accessed my address book -- "there has to be someone who can help." While perusing the names, I tripped across the name of a friend that I hadn't seen in a while. I shot a quick e-mail to Linda to hook up for lunch and continued my address book search. Frustrated -- I decided to play with it for a couple days and try to come up with something myself. Then Linda and I met for lunch. Not 10 minutes into our conversation, she asked me what I was working on, which caused me to share my dilema. Voila -- advice poured forth -- as it had in years past. I had just forgotten. I thought of her more as a friend -- had never "labeled" her "business mentor." It made me think about my address book and how I could reorganize my people resources.

When you were a child, your mother had the answer to every problem. Now, we are grown-ups and we have to access individuals who have the right solutions for our needs. If we blasted an e-mail out to our entire address books everytime we had a problem or needed help...we'd become an annoyance and we probably wouldn't get what we are looking for. When you ask what you want from the right people -- you are far more likely to get what you want. When Linda popped out her perfect advice for my problem on what to charge the new client, I immediately contacted the client -- delivered my fee information and secured the client who was a great client for the next 3 years and I may yet still be doing some work for him. Thank you Linda. Pressure off. But, I figured out if I could organize resources like Linda into a separate Rolodex or address book system so that when I needed some help on a particular project, I could go right to the ideal resources, I'd be more successful. I was right! I started out by categorizing maybe 25 people from my general address book whom I consider business associates or people whom I share information with regularly. In my "Ideal Network" they are "brainstormers," "problem-solvers," "decision-makers," "Genius Pool," "Connectors," "Endorsers," and "Media" to name a few. I access them when I need them and they have never failed me. This makes success at reaching goals so much quicker and easier. This is what I call The Ideal Network System. Not rocket-science -- but really good.

Well, here it is - what you want to know what I found out--the hard way, of course. You can't be a creative entrepreneur and not have a few bumps and scrapes from mistakes along the way. But we all learn. And what I've learned is that the key to any kind of request that you make is clarity. Here is the skinny on how to do it the "ideal" way:

-Get really clear about what it is that you want. If you want a new client -- that is your goal, not your request. What you'll ask for is connections to the ideal client type. Your ideal client type is the kind of person you wish to attract. And, we're not talking "anyone who could be in need of health insurance" or "anyone who is looking to buy a new house." Clarity starts with keywords that describe who you are looking for. Who you are looking for might be professional males getting ready to retire, travel a great deal and particularly like the southern states. They are married and love to golf. This type of description causes a person's brain or "computer" to start bringing up possibilities -- because there is enough information. A generalized request puts the burden on the recipient to have to come up with what you really want. How do we know if someone needs health insurance? But, ask us if we know college graduates who are just starting their careers and who have just bought a new car, and we can make a connection for you because we get a picture.

-No blanket e-mails. Send individual requests for help to 5-10 people in your network. Make them warm and personal with a greetng at the very beginning. If you send blanket e-mails, don't expect a great response -- there is not sense of urgency or need to respond if they think you have asked everyone the same thing. Pick out the right people in your network to ask. Connectors are always good because they know everybody and everything going on. They can be real estate agents, ministers, direct sales types, golf pros, civic leaders, or anyone who has to network for a living.

-Ask for what you need but forget--and I do mean forget -- marketing or sales language. These are people you know -- don't offend them. This should feel more like you asking them a favor. Do not get caught up in explaining your latest project or sale. They really don't care if your bank has just set up a new loan package -- they just need to know what you want from them -- who you need to be connected to.

-Don't ask them to do your job. Don't ask for names and phone numbers or referrals - this isn't hard-selling or recruiting -- this is soft (relationship-building). Ask for "connections." You may get someone who will offer to make an introduction for you, which is preferred. Don't ask people to forward your e-mail to potential clients for you. Don't ask them to pass along your web site link -- just make sure you have it in your signature line. Caveat on that is if what you are asking for has to do with your web site.

--Give a timeline when you make a request, otherwise people will put it on hold.

--Always offer to return the favor. You cannot ask for that which you would be unwilling to do if you could.

I teach this sort of thing all of the time in workshop sessions and it always amazes me the results that people get. Just now, as I'm writing this, the local Chamber of Commerce here (through my Ideal Network Club) has just gone through a session on producing an "Ideal E-mail Campaign." The early results people are seeing is a mind-blow. A real estate agent got a lead on a client that she has met and shown houses to already. A hotel sales rep got two responses to a request for potential client information within the first 11 minutes after she sent her request. A writer who penned a novel was looking for connections to a publisher and got information almost immediately. As for me, I've used this little mini e-mail campaign on behalf of clients to secure marketing opportunities and find jobs. I've used it for myself to secure a major endorsement for my book and to secure writing opportunities.

This is how you ask for help -- and get it! Good luck and Happy Ideal Networking!