How to deal with a panic attack

If you've ever gone through a panic attack, you know it's not funny. Without you seemingly being able to do anything about it, you're downwards in a spiral of heavy feelings, which may include anger, fear, hopeless, helplessness, and vulnerability, all mixed up and entangled.

Worst of all, during a panic attack your mind does not help you. It doesn't come up with something brilliant, on the line of "Hey, don't worry, it's all fine, you are great", which may calm you down, but rather it comes up with thoughts like "It's my fault", "I always do it wrong", "I'm hopeless and worthless".

This article is not about how to avoid a panic attack. It's about how to deal with having one, when you're all alone and breathing heavily to the point of hyperventilating, and your thoughts (if you can be present enough to realize them) are racing and killing you; and how to get yourself back on track once it's happened. I've been there many more times than I wish. I've been there so many times that I know by heart the steps that it takes to pick yourself up again.

So there you are. Whatever it was has triggered an enormous emotional response in you, which has made you gone into a panic attack. You may be chain-smoking as well - it's normal, since the act of sucking a cigarette is a subconscious mechanism to feel safe, reliving the safeness we felt when as babies we sucked on our mother's breast.

First of all, to help yourself, you need to calm down - you'll probably be shaking quite a bit, and confused. Don't try to use your mind at this stage, it's my experience that it does not work; I found it works better to get into our bodies and what we sense. It helps a lot to have a little corner, literally, to hide in until you're better. I found a very small space between a cupboard and a sofa in my room that was very comforting.

It also helps to have a special blanket or jacket that you can put on yourself. Both the blanket or jacket and sitting in a corner work as mechanisms of protection, as they provide a "larger" surface around us - again, it comes down to the baby stages in which we felt protected by someone or something larger than us. If you don't have such a blanket or jacket or space, then it also works to sit in the corner of a sofa - anything, really, as long as it's of a larger surface than you.

Now, stay in that spot for a while, crying if you have to, giving yourself the space and time to recover from the emotional overwhelm. At that time my mind seems to go blank, as if in a non-existence state, and I just stay in my corner feeling how little by little I'm starting to breath normally and my thoughts are slowing down.

At that point you have calmed yourself a little, but it's still too early to try to deal, even mentally, with the issue that caused you having a panic attack. The most important thing is to regain your own sense of self and your internal strength. Realize that the worst has now passed. Remember who you are, and how far you've made it already.

Consciously breath slowly and deeply. You are fine. You can use affirmations at this point, on the line of "I am alright", "I am fine", "I am whole". Keep on feeling yourself and keep on sensing how you return to peace and calm.

When you feel ready, step out of your corner - give it as much time as you need though; sometimes it has taken me an hour to calm down, other times just fifteen minutes did the job. With leaving your corner you're literally leaving behind the panic attack. You may still find yourself weak, but you're not helpless anymore.

Straighten your spine and breath deeply. Drink some water. Then sit in a different spot, such as a comfortable chair or sofa. Again don't try to use your mind yet to deal with the cause of the panic attack, but keep on simply feeling your body, where you are, and yourself.

At this point it is important to move on. It helps me a lot to do something I know I like doing, to give my mind some time. For instance, I may choose to read one of my stored inspirational emails, or listen to a song that I like, or look at any of my plants, or doodle with colours. While I do that, my mind is not even there, I'm simply enjoying what I'm doing for that moment.

Whatever it is you choose to do, the point is to get busy with something else so that you can get yourself on to a more centered spot, where you can think with clarity rather than being easily triggered by emotions.

Half an hour later, I find myself much more calm and present, with the feeling that I have definitely moved on from the panic attack. I am then ready to think more clearly about the issue that triggered a panic attack. You may not find yourself ready yet; that's alright, each of us has a different natural time.

From there, it just get easier and easier to get on with your life again. I normally turn to work on any of my projects, since that makes me feel good. I may also go back to complete whatever it is I was doing when I had the panic attack.

Very importantly, don't blame yourself for having a panic attack. A panic attack is an extreme and fearful emotional response, which may be triggered by certain circumstances with root in your childhood.

The best thing you can do is to congratulate yourself for having stepped out of your panic attack and having gone back to your life. Realize that you are now a bit stronger. You can also choose to explore the cause of your panic attacks, so that you learn how to avoid them when you recognize the first signals.

We can control ourselves right before we go into a panic attack, but it takes mastery and a lot of self-knowledge, which takes time to develop. So be kind to yourself - you're exactly where you need to be.