Winning Back Lost Love

The biggest killer of any relationship is an affair. I have always said that if the time and place were right, that nearly everyone would indulge in a little dalliance. It is simply nature taking its course, and we must understand this perfectly if we are going to keep an open perspective about relationships in general.

Never allow someone's past to sway you in any way when considering a new relationship. The relationship begins with you, and hopefully ends with you. If you are haunted by your lover's past, then it will always have an adverse impact on your relationship with them.

So what do you do when you find out that your lover has had an affair? Do you feel betrayed and put upon? Of course you will! But getting beyond this is important if the relationship is worth it to you.

T.W. Jackson, in his miracle book The Magic of Making Up, discusses this very scenario. As an added bonus he gives us "The Clean Slate Technique." Used in conjunction with other techniques that he clearly outlines, he helps you get past this situation and move on to a higher level of trust. "The Clean Slate Technique" alone is worth the price of his book. Learn the art of forgiveness by getting your copy of The Magic of Making Up today.

Is there something you can learn by being
robbed at gunpoint?

As TW Jackson explains in the Magic Of Making Up System

After your initial contact...you want to set up your
"1st Date" again.

AND...the MOST important part, the secret and
the part nobody else but T Dub will tell ya :-)...is the date HAS
to be EMOTIONALLY CHARGED.

Okay?

That DOES NOT mean 'dinner and a movie'.

Because...well...it's BORING...and does not
create a bonding...or in our case a RE-bonding
experience.

In fact, you want to pack in several emotionally
charged mini-dates in a span of a couple hours.

Why?

If you just do 'dinner and a movie' you lose
out on a Sociologically PROVEN principle...

Emotionally charged experiences = bond

Look at it in another way.

Last time you went to the bank, do you
remember the person in line in front of you?

Behind you?

Probably not. Me either.

But...

What if while you were in the bank, it
was ROBBED AT GUNPOINT?

And the robbers couldn't get the safe open. The
robbers are livid, screaming and waving huge guns
around. The tension feels so thick you could
cut through it with a knife.

You are lying face down on the cold bank floor
and can see your breath fogging up the tile below.

You are trembling...because it is eerily silent
for a moment.

"Oh my god!"

"Where are the robbers?"

"Are they behind me?"

"Are they watching me?"

So you slowly move your eyes around and
see a sweet older lady lying right next to you.

She looks a little like Grandma, and you come
out of your own haze enough to realize that she
is even more terrified than you. She is softly sobbing.

You slowly reach out and take her hand in yours
and give her a little squeeze that says..."it's gonna
be all right."

NOW!

Let me ask?

Are you going to EVER forget that older lady?

and...

Do you think she will EVER forget you?

Not in a million Sundays!

Now...I'm not saying to go rob a bank on
your first date! LOL.

But you want to go on an EMOTIONALLY
charged and exciting date...and preferably several
mini-dates in a span of a couple hours.

A short roller coaster ride is one GREAT example.

T Dub teaches you more about things like emotionally
charged dates in the Magic Of Making Up System.

You'll also discover psychological tactics and techniques
you can use to get you BACK on that first date with your
ex again.

Best Wishes,

Charlie~

PS Get a special unannounced bonus called 'Mind Magic'
when you reserve your copy of the Magic Of Making Up
System through this special link: The Magic Of Making Up

If you've lost your loved one, and are wondering "how to get my ex back", then these 5 strategies can be very helpful. Remember, no two situations are alike. Each relationship has unique circumstances, but these strategies work well in almost every case. It is your responsibility to use the strategies best to your advantage.

1 - Never show desperation. The quickest way to turn off your ex loved one is to show how needy you are. Even though they may still wish to be with you, showing desperation only leads to contempt. The last thing you want is for your loved one feeling sorry for you.

2 - Remain their friend. If you have the desire to get back with your ex, it only makes it more difficult if there is bitterness and hostility. No one wants a drama queen or a stalker in their lives. Be a friend - but not too good of a friend. Keep them guessing as to your intentions.

3- Don't be too available. If they call and you answer breathlessly on the first ring, they will think you are just sitting by the phone waiting for them to call. Get on with your life. Don't mope around the house and wait for them to come to you. Screen your calls with your answering machine. If you are feeling especially blue, don't pick up when they call. Knowing someone is desperately waiting for your call can put the person on a power trip and inflate an ego. Never let that happen.

4 - Play hard to get. Even though you may be aching inside, never allow it to show. Hang out with friends - do a little playful flirting. Use some strategy here - hang out where his friends are, so they can see you having a good time. Use a little common sense here - you don't want them to think that you won't be available if they change their mind.

5 - When you do talk, remind them of the good times you have had together. Never focus on the hurt or the acts that caused the split to begin with. If they know you appreciate the good times, and aren't focusing on the bad, they have no reason to get hostile or defensive.

These 5 simple tips are a jumping off place for you. If you are constantly asking others how to get my ex back, then use strategies that help, not hinder. In the end, you will find that the relationship will be stronger than ever when you finally do get back together.

Everyone who has suffered a break up is wondering "how can I get back together with my ex"? The feeling of loss, the uncontrollable need to "do something" and the sometimes anger of a breakup can be unsettling. You aren't alone - this is the way almost everyone feels on breakup.

Here's the scenario. You are crazy depressed. You are calling your ex 10 times a day to express forgiveness and begging to be taken back. You may even threaten suicide. Do these things make it all better? Hardly. It only serves to drive them further from you.

What you really need to be doing at this point is the opposite of how you are feeling right now. Depression not only makes you feel worse, but makes things twice as bad as they really are. Begging and threatening an ex only drives them further away, and justifies to them why they left you in the first place. The chances are your ex will be driven so far away, that there will be no chance of reconciliation. Instead, there are three things you should be doing right now. Here they are.

1 - Accept the fact that you have broken up with your ex. Examine the relationship, and ask yourself some very hard questions. Did you give everything you could to the relationship, yet acted with grace and self respect for yourself? Did you always try to meet the other halfway, and try to compromise, even when it was something you didn't want to do? Did you listen to your ex when they were troubled, and offer friendly advice in a non-confrontational manner? If you can truthfully answer these question yes, then the relationship was a good one, and is probably worth salvaging.

2 - Never try to contact your ex. The last thing they need is someone chasing them right now. Give them space, even if it is hard to do. Constant contact, phone calls and text messaging will only make your ex feel cornered. Give them time to miss you. If you aren't always there when they need you, this is the time for them to make the discovery that perhaps the relationship was worth it after all.

3 - Make an action plan for getting back together. If your ex is agreeable, set a time and place for meeting in a neutral environment. The last thing your ex needs is to come to the home of a good friend and feel they are being ganged up on. Be pleasant, noncommittal, and open to pleasant conversation. Don't go to this meeting with an attitude. Be yourself, but be a bit distant. Don't make yourself too readily available. If you do, you will be back to square one. Above all, keep it light and pleasant at all costs, even if you are hurting inside. If your ex sees that you are really doing okay, they might begin having second thoughts about the break up. Above all, play it by ear. Don't go into the meeting with a script, with de3mands and concessions. In the end, you may find yourself pleasantly surprised.

If you are wondering how you can get back with your ex girlfriend, the first thing to understand is that this is a delicate situation, and one that will not be changed overnight. The things that led to the breakup had to be major difficulties for the relationship to fail. You also need to understand that it may have been just a case of incompatibility, and there is really nothing that can change that. Remember that at this point in the relationship, feelings are fragile. You cannot make changes to reunite with your loved one if you are unwilling to make the changes necessary for it to work. Take into consideration these three things when trying to figure out how to get back with your ex girlfriend.

1 - What caused the breakup in the first place? Was it something you have done, or something that she had done which came between you? Be very honest here, and don't play the "blame game." Breakups don't happen for no reason at all. Your girlfriend didn't get up that morning and say to herself "this would be a nice day to break up with my boyfriend." There is always a reason. It is your responsibility to find out what went wrong. No amount of hand-wringing or anger will change the fact that maybe it was because you always left the cap off the toothpaste, or failed to pick up after yourself. They may sound like petty reasons, but petty reasons can lead to major ones.

2 - Be man enough to admit that you were wrong. It is up to you to insure that your ex girlfriend knows that you realize your shortcomings and mistakes, and are willing to take the necessary action to change all that. No one is telling you to crawl - but taking responsibility for your actions will make you a bigger man in your ex girlfriend's eyes.

3 - Don't lock yourself away from the rest of the world. Sure, you are hurting inside and don't want to be around people. It is your responsibility to understand that regardless of any situation, life moves on. Date another girl, if only in friendship and for having fun. This might have the effect of causing a bit of jealousy in your ex in the process. She might think that maybe you weren't so bad after all!

Approach this situation with the attitude that whatever will be, will be. Make every effort on your part to try to reconcile. You cannot change your ex girlfriend, but you can change yourself. If the relationship is meant to be, then there is no problem that you can't work out. Just be sincere in your attitude, and be willing to make the changes necessary to reconcile. The end results may well be worth it for both of you!

Knowing what to do when trying to learn how to get back with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is not rocket science. In reality, it seems that everyone makes the same mistakes, and gets the same results - the relationship fails. This doesn't have to happen. In this article we provide you with 3 tips on how to get back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

First of all, relationships are built on sharing, caring and mutual respect for one another. If these elements are not there in the relationship, then nothing will fix it but changing these attitudes. The best rule of thumb in any relationship is to give back much more than you take. If both partners are doing that, the relationship has a good chance of success. It cannot be "all about you" or what your needs are. If you are a woman, and have the princess mentality, then it is your obligation to prove yourself worthy of being called a princess. If the man assumes the role of hero, then he must be a hero all the time, not just when it suits him. Each role we play in a relationship must be something that attracts our partner. Some men like quiet, soft-spoken women that are kind and respectful. Others prefer a woman who is outgoing, gregarious and full of life. Everyone has a different need and desire in a partner.

So how can we learn how to get back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend? Here are 3 simple steps to help you find out why:

1 - Be yourself - don't try to be something that you can't be and aren't. This may have gotten you in trouble in the first place. Many times, a person with a past that isn't so great tries to cover up that fact. Be honest with yourself - you must let your partner know from day one who you are and where you have been. There can be no secrets here. If you have been open and honest from the beginning, then the battle is half won. If a man treats you with less than respect because of your past, it is time to move on.

2 - Always be kind to them - they don't want to be bashed because of the fact that the relationship wasn't working for them. Unless the person was a total jerk to begin with, the last thing they need from you is harassment, tears, and anger. If you are trying to figure out how to get back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, treat them with the same kindness and respect as you did during the good times in the relationship.

3 - Never chase them - that only makes them run away all the harder. It might be that they have conflicting emotions, and are just trying to work them out. Don't call them, don't stalk them, and give them the space that they might need at this point.

When things are more settled, try to get the ex to meet you at a neutral place to discuss the relationship. You may be very surprised about what happens. If you want to learn how to get back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, then follow these suggestion. You may be surprised at the results.