Top Tips on How to Impress Women
Ranked #4,656 in Entertainment, #57,457 overall
Welcome to the Web's Best Guide on How to Impress Women
Do you have difficulty in impressing women to whom you find yourself attracted? Are you a bit shy, or do you simply feel a little awkward in these situations? Fear not, help may very well be at hand...
It is often said that women like men to be men, just as in the same way, men like women to be women. Bearing this in mind, I thought that I would take the time to examine ways in which we men can most appeal to the desired lady (or ladies!) in our lives. How can we make a lady swoon at our feet?
I hope that you find these musings both instructive and useful and that you too can know the same level of success as I have known by employing them to best effect. Don't delay, gentlemen - start the process of impressing your chosen lady today!
It is often said that women like men to be men, just as in the same way, men like women to be women. Bearing this in mind, I thought that I would take the time to examine ways in which we men can most appeal to the desired lady (or ladies!) in our lives. How can we make a lady swoon at our feet?
I hope that you find these musings both instructive and useful and that you too can know the same level of success as I have known by employing them to best effect. Don't delay, gentlemen - start the process of impressing your chosen lady today!
Content List
A succinct guide to the tips and advice you can expect to find on this site
Click on any of the links immediately below to go straight to the relevant part of this site - or simply just browse it in full!
The Beer Gut
An extremely basic necessity
Women love this super attractive feature of a real man. It is akin to the peacock fanning the feathers of his tail when a man lets his belly sag down over his crotch. However, be warned: a truly impressive beer gut is not something that you can develop overnight. It requires patience and a lot of work. If you truly care for the woman in your life, however - or she who yet remains the object of your desire from afar - you will not mind putting in the time and effort. Be considerate!I would recommend that you start off on around ten to twelve pints of beer a day. Try to fit a couple in at lunch time if that is too many for you to initially down of an evening! Pretty soon, you will find your waistband tightening and you'll know that you're on your way to achieving your goal. When this happens, it is time to increase your intake on a gradual basis, heightening the speed of your progress...
Rifting/Belching
Show your appreciation for what you have just received!
It may be following a hearty meal...or perhaps your tenth beer of the evening! It is indisputable, however, that women like to hear a man give a hearty belch to show his appreciation of same. Like the proudest of stags issuing the mating call, lean back in your chair, place your hands across your developing gut and let it go! She will afterwards be putty in your hands...but be warned: so may half the women in that posh restaurant you have taken her to!(A further word of warning: just in case she is one of those "strange" women who does not appreciate your masculine calling, make sure you finish the beer first. You certainly don't want to end up wearing the remnants of it!)
Make A Woman Laugh and She'll be Putty in Your Hands!
This is a fact - ask almost any woman
There is no escaping the fact - most women like a man who can entertain them and make them laugh. He may be distinctly lacking in many other attributes which she would otherwise find attractive and appealing but if he can amuse her in this way he is well on the way to success.So how do we achieve this? It may be that we are naturally serious or shy. We may not know any jokes or have any tales to relate that she would find humorous. That is where help is now at hand!
Martin Merrill is a man who has made a study of the art of making women laugh and finally he has made his findings available to all. Believe me, you really cannot afford to miss clicking on the link below if you are at all serious about attracting and keeping the woman of your dreams...
Make Women Laugh and Fall in Love
Morning Breath
Don't succumb to this basic mistake!
It may appear to be a very small point at first glance but it is very true, gentlemen, that our breath can be a little off-putting to women first thing in the morning. Fear not, however, help is once again at hand from my extensive wealth of knowledge and experience!Before going to bed, make sure you have left a little bit of beer in your last can of the evening and sit it on your bedside table. As soon as you awaken, find the ashtray full of the previous night's butts and give it a kiss or two and a couple of licks. Next, grab the beer can and swirl its contents around in your mouth for a couple of minutes before swallowing. You are now ready to waken your beloved and experience her reaction.
Trust me...the number of comments I have received from women in all aspects of my life re my stale beer and cigarette smoke scented breath are far too numerous - and perhaps explicit! - for me to mention here!!!
Slightly Different Slants on Relationship Advice
A second opinion never hurt anyone, did it?
- Relationship Advice: Get Back Your Ex!
- Chances are you have been looking all over the internet for relationship advice that will help you get back your ex. Most likely you haven't found anything worthwhile, that is why you are reading this. You...
- Five fun things to do together as a couple indoors (other than that!)
- There's nothing better than a great night in with the one you love. You can both relax, unwind, laugh yourselves silly, and all the while discover more about each other. So take the phone off the hook, turn...
- Top 5 Ways to Put the Spark Back in Your Relationship
- This page looks at the ways in which different people respond to different forms of stimulation.
- Men, Women, Love, Sex Hormones & Relationship Advice
- The Most Common Relationship Mistakes - Probably the most common mistake I have seen both men and women make in love and sex relationships is to try to understand the behavior of the opposite sex by imagining...
- Want a Happy Married Life?
- This page aims to explore the secrets of creating and maintaining a happy married life.
Her New Hair Do
Always make sure you notice and pass comment
There are few things that will have a bigger effect on the woman in your life than you publicly ridiculing her new, expensive hairstyle. Wait until all your friends are there - and hers! - then ask her loudly when she is going back to get it finished! Suggest that you have seen something similar somewhere before...you think it was in a low budget, 60's sci-fi movie! She will be absolutely overcome with emotion and is sure to let you know it in what are no uncertain terms... Going Bald? - Get Yourself a Comb-over!!!
You, too, deserve a fancy hair-do!
It happens to a great many men: male pattern baldness! It can strike at virtually any age, from late teens to mid-fifties or beyond, and it is something which can cause men to become extremely distraught and to lose a lot of confidence in themselves.So what is the answer? How do women like men to deal with this aspect of their appearance? Easy! What women like is for a man to grow what few remaining tufts of hair he has to a ridiculous length then spend half an hour teasing it across his bald pate, before plastering it in place with an excess of Brylcreem! It is an incredibly fashionable technique, guaranteed to have an instant effect on any woman who sees it...!
Click here to visit the online store where this fashionable shirt (pictured) and lots more items of similar design are available at discount prices to further enhance your image!
Talk Incessantly about Sport!
Women love to hear you bemoaning refereeing decisions!
A lot of women would have us believe, gentlemen, that they like us to prattle on about the way their eyes sparkle in the moonlight or how much their new dress suits them. Not so! What they really want to hear about is the "bleep" of a referee who denied your team a last minute, stonewall penalty that afternoon!Be forceful and vociferous! Know your subject and point of view and let her know how strongly you really feel - and don't forget to throw in a good belch or two, here and there!
Become a Conservationist!
Show her that you care about the state of the world around you
Okay, it's not quite necessary to sell your car and start hugging trees! A little effort, however, put into showing her that you do care about the planet and what is happening to it cannot fail to score you points.The first and easiest step is to begin conserving water. Let her know that you have decided to bathe and shave only every other Sunday. She is likely to be so impressed by your concern and the manly odour emanating from your body that your relationship will be changed forever!
Some more help from the world of literature
(Though my advice should generally be enough!)
It may be that, for whatever reason, you believe my imparted words of wisdom are not sufficient to help you in your quest to attract more beautiful women. If - incredibly! - you think that is the case, have a look at some other publications which may be of assistance.
Where to Find More Help with Modern Life
Do you require assistance in resoving further conundrums?
Perhaps now that we have resolved the mystery of the modern woman together, gentlemen, you would be grateful for my assistance in other matters? Yes?I'd be delighted! Click on the link below:
The World's Greatest Mysteries
Display Your Status as a Sex Symbol Today!
Look at these fantastic products
Advertising is imperative in a great many fields. Your status as a love machine is no exception.
Click on any of these images to enlarge them.
Click on any of these images to enlarge them.
How beneficial did you find this site?
Are you ready to become the next Casanova?
Stumble It!
I very much hope that you have found the advice on this page helpful. It is based on painstaking research and experience but in keeping with modern fashions and traditions, I must here include a "disclaimer."
"It is not the assertion of the author of this site that following the above advice will guarantee that you are successful with women. This is intended as a friendly pointer in the right direction only."
So come on all you "sexist pigs" and "macho males" out there...follow this advice and get in touch with your "feminine" side... Why not also e-mail a link to this site to any friends or acquaintances you think may benefit from this information?
I hope you can spare a few moments to give me your thoughts in the space below.
Thank you for your time and your visit to this site.
-
-
Squiduction
Apr 15, 2012 @ 10:33 pm | delete
- Great Info
-
-
-
attractingwomeneasily
Mar 16, 2012 @ 10:15 am | delete
- Great tips, I realize that some of these mistakes I am guilty of myself. Thanks for the info
-
-
-
kieranrdblack
Feb 25, 2012 @ 4:43 pm | delete
- Some great tips, it's amazing how often men overlook these kinds of things!
-
-
-
Pixelhound
Feb 13, 2012 @ 10:04 pm | delete
- Now I know where I have been going wrong!
Thanks..
-
-
-
susannaduffy
Sep 23, 2011 @ 8:06 pm | delete
- I'm impressed! I'm really impressed!
-
- Load More
Look After Your Health
You Are What You Eat!
Women will always appreciate seeing you taking an interest in maintaining your health and incredible masculine physique. It is therefore very important that we eat properly and include in our diet those foods which will be of most benefit to us. Where, therefore, could we find anything better than garlic? Have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner - let its subtle, pleasant aroma take over your surroundings. You will notice the effect almost immediately! by Gordon_Hamilton
Gordon Hamilton has lived in various parts of the UK, from the West of Scotland, to the East of Scotland, to West London. He is presently back living... more »
- 128 featured lenses
- Winner of 14 trophies!
- Top lens » Best Toasted Sandwich Recipes
Feeling creative?
Create a Lens!
Explore related pages
- World's Greatest Mysteries and Puzzles World's Greatest Mysteries and Puzzles
- Best Pick-Up Lines Best Pick-Up Lines
- How to Get Rid of a Beer Belly | Lose Your Beer Gut in 3-6 Months! How to Get Rid of a Beer Belly | Lose Your Beer Gut in 3-6 Months!
- The Tao Of Badass Pdf Download Review - Beware Of Sneaky Reviews The Tao Of Badass Pdf Download Review - Beware Of Sneaky Reviews
- Pandora's Box System Vin Di Carlo Scam? Shady Reviews Warning Pandora's Box System Vin Di Carlo Scam? Shady Reviews Warning
- high status humor high status humor
