Hypomania Mood, a component of Bipolar II Disorder and Cyclothymia

Usually my hypomania only lasts for a day or two, sometimes only for part of a day. At least that's been the recent pattern for the past year or two.

This time it has been 3-5 days. At first the experience was not much different from that of feeling normal. Or at least the feeling of not being a bit down.

With mild depression, I often feel tired and drained, especially in the evenings. I feel like I can't accomplish all that I want to accomplish because I can't focus or keep up the energy.

So at first this bout of hypomania was just a feeling of great well being and of prolonged focus and energy.

I don't know if normal people have this feeling - it's sort of like "floating on air" - life feels wonderful - I have so much confidence. Sometimes the room will feel just so right. (Even though it's the same room that I'm always in, and usually it seems messy or cluttered when I'm not so up feeling.) Or if I'm outside, the temperature of the air and the flowers and everything will just be perfect. It's when people say, "Strolling in the park on a summer day.." even if it's not a park and not summer, it will feel just like that :)

I expected this great feeling of well being - a feeling of complete calmness, peacefulness - and yet full of ideas and much focus, but without any of the anxious worry that is often accompanied by hypomania - to abruptly shift into scattered and out-of-control hypomania, or into a depression.

Usually up moods are quickly followed by down moods. You know the saying, "if it's too good to be true" - well that can usually apply to my hypomania...

However, this one has lasted longer. And there are negative symptoms too. Or things that could cause negative situations if I'm not careful. And being careful - as much as possible - is the key thing to dealing with this mood stuff and trying to keep sane.

I have more self confidence and a lack of hesitation, compared to normal. Usually I'm a little nervous about driving. Today, I volunteered to drive and got into the car without hesitation, completely sure that I could do it ok.

At times, there is definitely overstimulation. Sounds really do sound louder than normal. I am pretty sure it's not just an illustion. I need the TV turned down lower.

Sometimes, thoughts were going by in my head too fast, and that makes me a bit anxious because I cannot sort them easily and respond to them well.

When this happened, rather than get frustrated, I tried to relax and just let it pass, take a deep breadth and slow down. This worked well.

Oddly, having all of these positive and hypomanic feelings makes me interested in stopping my medication. Of course I know that this is the time I need it the most, but part of me would like to find out what it feels like to really be on the edge again. It would be interesting to hullicinate. Thinking about being really out there is exciting, but I know that stability is best and there are way too many negative things that could happen from this hypomania getting worse. Most importantly, I don't want to do anything to hurt my husband's feelings, even if it's just something I say without thinking it through. I care so very much about him.

I've had a few moments of the scattered type of hypomania, which I used to get a lot. When it's scattered, it's hard for me to figure out what to do next, and it can take me a long time to figure out, for example, if I have everything I need to have before leaving the house.

I can't fall asleep easily at night, because my mind keeps going and going, even though I am tired. I'll lay down, but then I will think of something, and get all excited and hyper again. So many things seem to interest me, I can seem to stay up for a long time just going from one topic to the next.

I don't feel that hungry at times, and other times I look in the fridge aimlessly looking for something fun to eat.

I feel disconnected with my normal sense of time. Time goes by really fast. I don't do things in connection with what time of day it is. I seem to totally forget things I'm supposed to do, too.

I can't have any caffeine at all when I'm hypomanic. When I'm normal or down feeling, I can drink a glass of green tea without any negative symptoms. When I'm hypomanic, just one glass of green tea can really make me feel scattered and shaky.

I am surprised by this longer and stronger hypomanic period. It seems to have been partially triggered by a period of greater stress, but even now that the stressful incident is over with, the hypomania is still around. I also wonder if it has to do with the time of the year. I wish I could connect my moods to seasonal changes because then I could predict them better. I do believe that there is a seasonal connection%u2026 I don't know if this can possibly last for weeks or not, or whether it will go away and tomorrow I'll feel depressed. Oh well - what I like most of all is the higher energy level I have from this hypomania, and I feel like I have been coping pretty well, and I don't nearly have as many negative symptoms as I used to have. It is, however, still a bit scary feeling sometimes, because I don't really know what will happen next with my strange moods.