I Eat Meat. mmmm Meat!

Meat. Fridge. Good!

Claim your fridge and proclaim your taste for all things meaty with one of these hilarious meat magnets!

I like to take a nice, big, tender chunk of steak and bludgeon it with a stick, slice and slash at it until it's subdued, and then stab it repeatedly with a fork. (Gasp) Once it is nicely perforated, I dash it with my own personal concoction of gritty spices, and drown it in a sea of marinade.

Two minutes each side on a blazing hot skillet to sear it, and then it's off to the fiery furnace for a few minutes to simmer in its juices

My staples are either Montreal Steak Spice, or Greek Spice (sometimes I even use both for a double whammy) worchestershire sauce and a couple drops of liquid smoke. Lots of freshly cracked pepper.

Once you've thawed, trimmed and sliced, smashed, bashed and tenderized, poked, prodded and drowned your chosen selection of meat, it's time to get that prize bounty to the grill.

Men have traditionally been the hunters, and since the dawn of time I would imagine they have marked the firepit as THEIR territory! They may not know where the handmixer is, or how to operate that fangdangled coffeemaker, but the bbq is a piece of cake. Err... meat! Most men can usually handle a flipper or set of tongs and a big old juicy chunk of sirloin, rack of ribs or chicken leg.

Here are some beautiful photos of my favorite meat animal, the Cow.


Actually, if you want to get technical, most cattle slaughtered for beef are steers. If you have a minute, I'd be happy to explain the different names so we're all on the same page. I may be a little off, that's just because I'm a hobby farmer, not a big player on the meatmarket.


Calf: This one is obvious. A baby of either sex. Bull being male, Heifer being female. So if you had a young uncastrated male you would refer to it as a bull calf, or bully calf.A female calf would therefore be a heifer calf

Heifer: A female. However, it's only a called a heifer until it reaches sexual maturity and has delivered a calf of her own, at which point she becomes a COW.

Cow:A female who has calved. Dairy producing milkers are all female. I won't explain here why the males aren't milked because honestly you should know that and this is a G rated lens. Ask your mommy to explain if you need clarification.

Bull: A male calf or mature animal that still has all the required parts and pieces for breeding.

Steer: A male which has been sterilized by various methods, most often by banding which removes the testicles.

As I said earlier, most meat animals will be steers. Bulls are castrated for a few main reasons, the most important one being temperment. A fully mature bull will be a hormonal mess and aggressively protect his herd. He will also want to hump just about anything and everything on the field with him, which cuts into his eating time. We want to "get his mind off ass and back on grass" ... Once those parts are dealt with, he will happily eat all day long, because afterall... what else is there to live for at that point if you are a cow. (I mean, steer!)

There are cattle that are primarily raised for meat, and other breeds that are more suited to milk production. The familiar black and white blotchy version that most people associate with cows is a dairy breed. They are more frame and less muscle, meaning all bone, no meat. The jersey cow is another dairy breed that is not as desirable for meat since it has yellow fat which some people find unattractive on the plate.



Here are some of the types I've eaten, and others I will eventually eat.

Let him wear his title. He's earned it!

Each year on our little hobby farm from early January to late November we have a few edible lawnmowers out on the field. We choose the healthiest and strongest young calves, which are pasture raised for grass fed, hormone free, extra lean beef.

They are lovingly bucket fed their milk as calves on chilly winter mornings. They warm our hearts and bring us joy and laughter as they learn to feed, slurping on our fingers hungrily and bumping the pail as if it were mamma's teat. We give them each names and all have our favorites. We snap photographs and take videos of them at various times through the year which end up in our family albums.


L-R JimBob, Bessie, Delilah and Hank


(...cue bird songs...)

They provide us endless entertainment out the livingroom window as they grow and play.

We watch them peacefully lounging on fresh green grass to chew their cuds on sunshiney summer days.

And then we kill them and eat them.

Beef may be my favorite, but I do eat something else every now and then.

I don't eat alot of pork. Partly because apparently the pig is genetically similar and the closest meat to human and that just grosses me out a little. The exception to that rule is bacon, which has been smoked and cured and stuffed full of nitrates and poisonous chemicals until it doesn't resemble my own flesh so much.

Piglets are sure cute though, aren't they? In a yummy kind of way.





Not so cute, but very tasty a few times a year: Tom the Turkey and Salmon!

Don't make your clothing OUT OF animals (ew!) Wear your dinner the right way and show the world your love for *tasty* animals with one of these sure to please beef tees!



Pack a punch with one of these funny Pork Products for the proudest pig eaters, perhaps? (now that's a mouthful!)





Some people take Bacon Love to a whole new level.



More funny foodie tees to tease