I Had a Mini-Stroke and What Happened After

I was taken straight the hospital's A&E (Accident & Emergency) department on a wheeled stretcher. Again, they checked all my vital signs and blood sugar. I was kept on oxygen.

Over the next few hours an ECG (electro-cardiogram) was done and all the vital sign tests were done again pretty much hourly. I was examined by two doctors, the first was a junior doctor and then by a more senior one. It was a comfort that the consultant wasn't interested in seeing me. It's always bad news when the most senior doctor in any speciality thinks you are worth seeing.

I was taken to the hospital about 11am. By 7pm I was feeling fine. My mouth was pretty much back to normal as was my left hand and speech. By 7pm I wanted to get out of hospital. I don't like hospitals - they're full of sick people.

When the junior doctor came back, I said I wanted to leave. He said I'd have to speak to the other doctor. Two hours later, after much moaning to the nurses that I wanted to leave, the more senior doctor arrived. He said he wanted to keep me overnight. I said I'd be better off at my friend's house because I found the hospital stressful. He then did all the checks again and additionally told me to grab his hand with my left one and squeeze as hard as possible. Big mistake! I have very strong hands and lift weights. So I did what he told me to do and squeezed as hard as I could which made him shout. Of course, I apologised although I was only doing what he said.

The doctor checked with Sylvie who had been with me for the whole day. She was an absolute star and I'm so glad she's my best friend. She said she agreed I'd be better off out of hospital because I'd get stressed if I stayed. The doctor said I could go as long as I was back in A&E by 8am the next day for more extensive tests.

I agreed and off we went in a cab. The next day Sylvie came back to the hospital with me. The nurses greeted us like old friends and laughingly told me I was a troublemaker which I took as a compliment.

Very quickly I was taken for an X-ray of my heart and lungs and then for an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) scan of my brain. I had to go back again the following day to see another doctor. He was the one who told me it was a mini-stroke or TIA. He also prescribed some drugs to get from the hospital pharmacy and to start taking immediately. He gave me a cd containing the brain scan for my own doctor.

The picture above is from the British Government's stroke awareness campaign.

When I returned home, I saw my own doctor and he made appointments with the hospital for me to see a consultant (the most senior doctor in any specialist department).

First I saw a neurologist who then said I need an ultra sound test on the carotid arteries in my neck and she said she would arrange for it. I would get a letter sent to me and my doctor with the date and time of the appointment.

I waited and waited. In the meantime I was seeing my own doctor monthly. I had been diagnosed with diabetes about five years earlier. Luckily, I wasn't insulin dependent (and I'm still not) and controlled my blood sugar levels with diet and pills. My blood pressure was also at the high end of normal, which is bad for anybody with diabetes. Because of this I was already taking several drugs and since the TIA, my own doctor wanted to monitor me more closely. I mentioned to him eventually in around March that I hadn't heard about the ultra sound test. He said he'd phone the hospital. Within a couple of weeks, I received a letter with an appointment at the beginning of May.

When I attended the hospital for the ultra sound test, it seemed to go on for ages and the technician seemed to spend an awful long time on the right side of my neck. Eventually she asked me to sit on a chair and wait. She came back to say she'd been looking to see if a doctor was free because she had noticed something unusual. Unfortunately, she couldn't find a doctor so she told me to go home and somebody from the hospital would phone me. She took both my mobile (cell) phone and landline numbers.

We live about 40 minutes drive from the hospital and we were about halfway when my mobile rang. It was the hospital with an appointment for an MRI scan for the following week and with a consultant exactly one week later. That alarmed me. They hadn't given me an appointment for months and now they couldn't wait to give me another two and so quickly.

I had the MRI scan which was not too bad particularly as I'd had one in Bournemouth so knew what to expect. The only difference was that the first one was scanning my head but the second one was on my neck and the sides of my head.

Picture above: The Right Carotid Artery

Picture in the Public Domain as it's out of copyright. It is from the 1918 Gray's Anatomy and found on Wikipedia.

The following week I saw the consultant. He was a quietly spoken man. He told me I had stenosis in both carotid arteries which means a narrowing. He said that the right hand carotid artery was at least 99% blocked all the way up to the base of my brain and the left hand artery was about 55% blocked.

He said that because the blockages were in so much of both arteries, they were both inoperable and any attempt to remove them surgically would probably cause a serious stroke.

My mind literally went blank for a few seconds. I wasn't surprised by the blockages. I'd guessed it was serious and probably a blockage because of the speed I'd been given the two appointments. I wasn't prepared for the blockages to be inoperable.

He went on to say that the best thing that could happen would be if the right artery blocked completely because there would be less chance of it causing a stroke if no blood was going through it.

After that there wasn't much else to say. I came out of the hospital and sat on a seat outside in the grounds for about 15 minutes. My partner had driven me to the hospital and I was supposed to phone him to find out where he had been able to park. I needed to assimilate what I'd just been told, though.

The funny thing was I thought, 'Oh no, I can't die before the London Olympics in 2012.' I love watching the Olympics especially the athletics events although I also enjoy seeing some of the less often seen sports like archery and badminton. Then I realised that I might not see the Beijing Olympics that summer if I was unlucky.

I knew this wasn't helping so pulled myself together and phoned my partner. He was disbelieving when I told him. My policy is never to lie to myself so I discounted much of what he said but I did it gently because he was in shock too.

Above: A photograph of me taken on New Year's Day 2009

Even before the mini-stroke I had been suffering from serious depression and still take medication for it now. As long as I take the pills, I'm OK but I went right down again when I tried doing without them for three months from September to November last year.

Overall, I've come to terms with the fact I could die at any moment and feel surprisingly calm about it, even when I stopped taking the anti-depressants I stayed calm about it. I fear a serious stroke leading to major incapacity more than dying. I would want the machines turned off if the alternative was living with no quality of life.

I am a total non-believer. I think it would be great to believe in God and the afterlife but I've never been able to do so. I believe that it really is "earth to earth, dust to dust, ashes to ashes". That's OK, I can live with that. I've said that I would like a non-religious funeral and to be cremated. I'd prefer to have my ashes scattered rather than stored in an urn.

I had my 60th birthday in November last year and I am now officially retired. We have also moved to 'sheltered' flats (apartments) with a manager on site. This means there are alarm cords to pull if anything nasty happens, like a stroke for example. People also notice if curtains (drapes) remain closed when you would normally be up and about.

I get tired more quickly nowadays. I'm not as strong as I used to be. I can't lift anything too heavy and I can't get the lids off hard-to-open jars. When I go to the library, I usually spend about 30 minutes choosing books. Now I have to sit down for a few minutes several times so it takes much longer. The blood doesn't seem to reach my head on the right side and my right eye is deprived of blood so I can't see properly if I stand up or walk for too long. I can walk for about 20 minutes before I need a break. I also get light headed if I'm on my feet much longer than that.

I don't like shopping anymore and going to the library turns into a bit of an endurance test but I don't want to stop. I want my life to be as normal as possible. The other thing I notice is that my short term memory is not good. I've started carrying a notebook to write anything important down. I think I always know when I've forgotten something (how can I be sure?) and usually will remember it again eventually. I try not to allow myself to relax about forgetting on the basis of 'use it or lose it'.

Squidoo has been a real help to me. It's given me goals like becoming a Giant and now to join the 100 Club. I can't just surf the net, clean the flat and take the dogs out. I need things to do and, most of all, I need to write.

This has been very hard for me to write. I hope that it will help anyone else in a similar position, perhaps knowing they have a condition that could kill them at any time. It is possible to live contentedly and meaningfully. Perhaps the important things are to find something you want to do and to achieve a level of calm without lying to yourself about your condition.

Above: Picture of me with my back to the camera taken on Bournemouth beach with my dogs about 4 years ago.