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I Miss You Most at Christmas Time

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I Miss You

It is a few days before Christmas and I am already surrounded by my family, but there is someone missing.

3 years ago my brother died. During the holidays, when he should be here with us, the grief washes over me and I, once again, mourn the death of my beloved brother.

The holidays should be joyous and for the most part they really are festive. There is a lot of family togetherness and laughter. Ironically, it is when we are all laughing that I hear the voice in my mind of one that is no longer laughing with us. If ever there was anyone who loved to laugh, loved life, loved family, and loved Christmas, it would be my brother.

I wonder if there will ever be a Christmas that I don't remember and grieve his absence.






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I Miss You Most at Christmas Time by Mariah Carey

Several years ago, at Christmas, I heard "I Miss You Most at Christmas Time" by Mariah Carey. My tenderhearted brother was with me then and we joined together as we cried and grieved the death and separation from our grandmother.

It never occurred to me that his would be the next family death and that when I heard the song again, it would be him that I would be missing.

Mariah Carey - Miss You Most (At Christmas Time) + Lyrics
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Separation is for Just for a Season

St. Peter's Bascilica

After my tears are spent, I recall the promise made by our Savior, Jesus Christ, thousands of years ago and I regain the strength to step into the next moment of my life.

John 6:38-40
"For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent me. And this is the will of Him who sent me, that of all that He has given me, I lose nothing, but raise it up on the last day. For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on the last day."

Comfort

I find great comfort in these words and in His promise. I am not wishing my life away, for there is work yet for me to do, but I know that one day I will be reunited with my brother and all who have gone before me.

I wrote this article about myself and my own personal thoughts. It is my sincere desire that these words may also comfort others.

My Brother's Monument

Please Feel Free to Share Your Thoughts Here Too!

  • Ruthi Jan 14, 2012 @ 7:29 pm | delete
    From the love you've shown here... I would say, no, there will never be a Christmas that you won't remember your brother and grieve his absence... as it should be for you and he.
  • Donnette Jan 7, 2012 @ 12:34 am | delete
    My father passed away on 20 November 2011... it was one of the worst days of my life, and even now it is surreal... Christmas came and went and at the forefront of my mind was Daddy... How I miss him...
  • Sylvestermouse Jan 9, 2012 @ 10:26 pm | delete
    I am so sorry to hear about the death of your father. I know all to well how there are no words that can help. This must have been a very difficult article for you to read. Thank you for sharing with me.
  • favored1 Jan 5, 2012 @ 2:46 pm | delete
    Thank you for sharing your heart, but mostly reminding us of the promise we have to those who believe in Jesus. There is one thing every human being has in common, that is the physical death of the flesh. Sadly, we all don't have the same thing in common about eternal life. Lean on the Comforter, He is always there.
  • kathysart Jan 5, 2012 @ 10:14 am | delete
    This was the first Christmas without my mother in law.. it was hard. Thanks for this lovely and thoughtful lens. Thumbs up and angel blessed.
  • bloomingrose Jan 3, 2012 @ 4:31 pm | delete
    What a lovely tribute to your brother. I feel for you on this day, and I know that he would not want the day to just be mourning.
  • lizholy Jan 2, 2012 @ 8:25 am | delete
    My brother moved to another state, and for the first time in our lives, we are living far away from each other. It was painful for me, but it was worse at Christmas. I finally cried after 4 months.
  • fanfreluche Nov 24, 2011 @ 3:04 pm | delete
    Beautiful tribute to your brother.
  • Pinkchic18 May 2, 2011 @ 11:30 am | delete
    Big hugs to you at Christmas time. I lost my grandfather on Thanksgiving one year and it still hurts, every Thanksgiving since. It's not the exact same, but you're not alone in the pain.
  • pastella Jan 27, 2011 @ 12:38 pm | delete
    We love - and that's why we feel such pain and grief. But think of the great memories. Think of the happy times. When I feel sad and miss my loved ones, I think of something that happened to make us laugh, and then I can cope. Laughter is my saviour. What a wonderful tribute to your brother.
  • puzzlemaker Jan 6, 2011 @ 7:39 am | delete
    I never know what to say at times like this. You made me think of my own brother and how much I love him.
  • awelldressedbullet Jan 4, 2011 @ 1:17 pm | delete
    This was the second Christmas without my mom, and I think we will always miss our loved ones, especially at special times and events, I can only hope that in time we remember more of the good times we shared rather than the sadness of not having them with us today. Squidhugs, Kathy
  • Pukeko Jan 3, 2011 @ 4:04 am | delete
    {{{hugs}}} Sorry for your loss. thank you for sharing your story with us.
  • Norma_Budden Dec 28, 2010 @ 3:58 pm | delete
    I've been fortunate, thus far, to only suffer the death of three grandparents, only one of whom I was close to. My children remain strong and resilient through life's transitions and my relationship with my partner seems more solid each passing day, which never ceases to amaze me since I didn't think we could become closer.

    However, my maternal grandmother continues to struggle with Alzheimer's. She no longer remembers me which is the greatest struggle I experience during Christmas season. I used to talk to her different times throughout the year but every year at Christmas, we would share a few laughs. I miss her probably worse than if she had died with her memory in tact.

    I sympathize with you and don't even want to look to a future possibly filled with grief over the loss of loved ones. Tragically, it's the worst part about being so close to another individual...
  • WordCustard Dec 28, 2010 @ 3:01 pm | delete
    I hope the loved ones you had around you this Christmas helped you to share memories... the sad ones but also I hope many happy ones. Those you have lost can still in some way be with you when they are remembered as you remember your dear brother.
  • loveunmeasured Dec 27, 2010 @ 3:09 pm | delete
    Thank you for sharing your heart with this lens. It is so good to be reminded of what's true. I love the saying on your brother's monument, as well as the words of hope found in John. I hope you will continue to find comfort and strength in God - that you will sense his tender arms around you, and that you will cling to him knowing that nothing we go through is wasted.
  • susannaduffy Dec 24, 2010 @ 7:42 pm | delete
    No, there is never a Christmas goes by when we don't miss them. It seems worse at Christmastime and I always spend the morning in tears. But, it's amazing how strong we are, all of us, and how we can smile and be joyous with our loved ones who are blessedly still here. All the best to you
  • bethd821 Dec 24, 2010 @ 7:49 am | delete
    Beautiful tribute to your brother, Cynthia. May the happy memories of him help ease your sorrow. I lost my mom and my husband at Christmas time, so I know what you are feeling. May God bless you and your family!
  • Stazjia Dec 24, 2010 @ 4:31 am | delete
    Although we miss our loved ones all year, you are right, we miss them most of all at Christmas. I get some comfort from these lines in a poem by William Johnson Cory,
    "Still are thy pleasant voices, thy nightingales, awake;
    For Death, he taketh all away, but them he cannot take."

    Thank you for a beautiful page.
  • Comfortdoc Dec 23, 2010 @ 5:35 pm | delete
    Thanks for the inspiration to write a new lens on Remembering at the Holidays.
  • tssfacts Dec 23, 2010 @ 1:18 pm | delete
    What a great tribute to your brother. What is even better is that he isn't only in your past but is also in your future. What a glorious day that will be when we hear the trumpet sound and meet in the sky not only our Savior but also those who have gone before us!
  • KimGiancaterino Dec 23, 2010 @ 12:48 pm | delete
    I'm very sorry for your loss. In our family we are dealing with the loss of my nephew who was only 22 when he died in June. It is very sad indeed at Christmastime. May your family find peace in knowing that others care and know firsthand the pain of losing someone special.
  • Sylvestermouse Dec 23, 2010 @ 1:41 pm | delete
    Oh, how very sad that someone so young died. I know this will be a very difficult Christmas for you and your family. I will pray that you and yours will find comfort and peace as well.
  • Heather426 Dec 23, 2010 @ 11:35 am | delete
    First, I am so sorry for your loss! I mourn 2 sisters and my parents so I know how it feels. Still dream about my little sister that I helped raise. Hoping that some day the loss will not feel as heavy as it does now. Merry Chistmas anyway! and Happy New Year!
  • Waxing-Lyrical Dec 23, 2010 @ 11:10 am | delete
    This will be my first Christmas without her. I hear her, as you do your brother. Wishing you a wonderful Christmas filled with loving memories.
  • whitemoss Dec 23, 2010 @ 2:36 am | delete
    I too have lost younger members of my family who should be with us at Christmas. A moving lens. Best wishes to you this Christmas time.
  • NaturalMindset Dec 22, 2010 @ 9:00 pm | delete
    tearfully wonderful; thank you for sharing.
  • _Joan_ Dec 22, 2010 @ 4:45 pm | delete
    I haven't yet had the experience of losing a sibling or parent. God bless you and your family this Christmas.
  • wordstock Dec 22, 2010 @ 3:18 pm | delete
    For some reason, I am very homesick and missing my parents. This is lovely and the promise is something that reminds me that our time here is temporary. Wishing you happy Christmas blessings and blessing this lens too for sharing it with me.
  • mbgphoto Dec 22, 2010 @ 2:23 pm | delete
    Beautiful tribute for your brother. It is true how the Christmas season seems to bring back these memories. May God be with you and your family and may you have a wonderful Christmas filled with wonderful memories. Blessed and added to December Blessings.
  • sheilamarie Dec 22, 2010 @ 1:31 pm | delete
    Difficult to miss someone at this time of year. My father passed away on Christmas Eve as did my grandfather. It's funny, though. I remember my father with joy on Christmas Eve as he loved this holiday so much! I will pray for your brother this Christmas.
  • prosperity66 Dec 22, 2010 @ 12:01 pm | delete
    He was my brother, my cousin, my best friend... he died in 1994 and I still miss him... like you, more at Christmas time... I think of you, Cynthia. I know how you feel and just would like to be able to manipulate the time and bring all our loved ones back - at least for Christmas time.
    Hugs, my dear. This is a very touching lens...
  • pkmcr Dec 22, 2010 @ 11:50 am | delete
    What a wonderful tribute to your Brother. Christmas can be so hard as I know all too well. As we celebrate the birth of Christ our Redeemer, I pray that His which knows no end will surround you.
  • ohcaroline Dec 22, 2010 @ 10:59 am | delete
    Beautifully written and beautifully shared. Christmas always has a slice of "looking back" to be shared. Then New Years allows us to look forward. God bless!
  • WildFacesGallery Dec 22, 2010 @ 10:41 am | delete
    A wonderful tribute. The holiday seem especially hard with those we have lost can't be here to share in the family uniting.
  • poutine Dec 22, 2010 @ 10:36 am | delete
    So sorry for the loss of your brother.

    Hope it will get easier for you.
  • DecoratingforEvents Dec 22, 2010 @ 9:53 am | delete
    Oh, Cynthia! What a loving tribute to your brother. I, too, have a list of people that i miss dearly at Christmas time. Hugs and warm thoughts for you this holiday season!
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Updated: 3/3/12



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I Previously Published a Tribute to My Brother and One to My Grandmother 

I You Would Like to Read Them, They Can Be Found Here:

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Are You Grieving the Dead of a Loved One too? 

Comfortdoc has written an article with several suggestions of ways to ease your grief. Thank You Comfortdoc!

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