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I Chose Home Birth

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Home birth

What exactly is a home birth? Who can have a home birth? Who attends a home birth? I hope to answer these questions and let you know that home births are a safe alternative for low-risk pregnancies in this lens!

To the left you can see a picture of my midwife lifting up our brand new baby to weigh her...in my bedroom! She was probably a few hours old at the time and I was sitting comfortably on my bed watching the whole process.

This is a weight measurement system that midwives usually use since they don't have the scales that hospitals have. Our baby was a healthy 7 pounds, 9 ounces!

One evening, I was home alone, so I decided to watch the movie I had rented from the library, The Business of Being Born (you can also see the whole documentary on youtube). I was 10 weeks pregnant at this time and about to go see my doctor for my first prenatal visit. Some things in the video that grabbed me were women telling their stories. There were live births that were shown in homes, in water tubs, in hospitals. I understood the hospital births, but I had never pictured myself giving birth at home. I have one friend who has given birth at home three times. I have always thought she was crazy and said I would NEVER do that!

Halfway through the movie, I stopped it, got on the computer and e-mailed my home birth friend asking her a lot of questions. Then I started looking up midwives in the area and e-mailing them. What was I doing? I hadn't even talked to my husband about this! I just knew, based on statistics and stories in the video that I did not want to deliver this third baby in the hospital with my OB. The OB I found while searching for a Pro-Life OB/GYN in our area. The OB who had delivered our 2 previous boys. The OB I told I missed seeing when in for an appointment before I found out I was pregnant with Baby 3. The hospital I had just driven by with my mom and said, "I love that hospital." The hospital that claims to be "Baby Friendly."

My 2 Previous Births

With my first baby, I had wanted to go natural, to birth in a tub, but the tub was "taken" when we arrived at the hospital in full labor one week before my due date. I labored for hours being monitored, walking around the halls with strangers staring at me, lying in the bed, being poked and prodded. Since I wasn't "progressing fast enough" I was told I would have Pitocin and I knew I didn't want that without an epidural. A few hours later, a few pushes later, he arrived!

With my second baby, I was done, so my doctor scheduled an induction with Cervidel one day after my due date. I labored all night long while my husband slept on the fold out couch next to me. In the morning, they offered me the epidural as the anesthesiologist was making his rounds and passing them out. Without a second thought, I took one. A few hours later, a few pushes later (after being told I had almost gotten an emergency C-section because his heart rate was dropping too low), he arrived!

You see, I've always wanted to experience giving birth and I know the epidural, the hospital, the OB have kept me from doing that. I wanted things to be different this time and I had learned a few things through my research. I know that the pain of labor goes away as soon as the baby is born. The pain is not an injury pain, it is accomplishing something--moving the baby down and delivering the baby! There are pauses in between the contractions which allow for some rest, so it is not hours of constant pain. Millions of women before me have given birth naturally and safely. One in THREE births in hospitals result in a C-section.

Educating Myself

I set out to educate myself more and picked up a copy of Ricki Lake's Your Best Birth. It was obviously slanted in a midwife/home birth way, but I loved all of the information. It made sense. I knew this was for me and my husband agreed. Besides my friend, I had no one else who had given birth at home, although my father-in-law was born at home many years ago!

I talked to my parents about this and assured them that I was looking into this with an open mind and was NOT planning a home birth, but instead a birthing center birth. I made two appointments with midwives and asked lots of questions on local forums. Come to find out, there are lots of people out there who have given birth at home or a birthing center!

I met the first midwife and liked her (a former LDR nurse). She had a birthing center in her office and also would do a home birth. She worked alone and I would have all of my appointments with her. The second was a group of three midwives. They would use the birthing center or I could be one of the two that they would allow each month to birth at home if I signed up early enough for their services. Then it would be the luck of the draw of who I would end up with at the birth. They have a beautiful birthing center, but there was nothing there that we didn't have at home-including a claw foot tub! I told my husband that felt like going to a hotel to give birth and they kick you and the new baby out within 3-5 hours after giving birth as long as everything is okay.

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The Start

I still can't believe that I had a baby at my house...with no medication (that's me in my claw-foot tub to the right)! I was so excited about the experience and didn't really know what to expect even though it was my third birth. I had tried to go natural with my first son, but was convinced by the nurses to have pitocin and an epidural after a few hours at the hospital. With the second, I was induced and got an epidural first thing in the morning without ever questioning it. This time, I wanted things to go differently!

I went to see Kathleen the day before my due date (Oct. 27) and knew the baby would be coming soon. By the next week, the baby had still not arrived, but I was okay with waiting. I saw her twice that week and at the second appointment, she gave me some herbs to take to start the process. She said it could start up with a few dosages or it might take the whole bottle. A few days later, I finished the bottle.

I started having contractions on Saturday and began timing them around 3:30 in the afternoon. They were manageable, but they were noticeable. They didn't really increase in strength very much and didn't get closer together. My dad decided to take our boys over to my brother's house in case the baby came that night. Around 10 that evening, Kathleen contacted me to see how things were going and to tell me to go to bed. I decided that walking sounded like a better idea, so my husband and I headed out for a tour of the neighborhood. While walking, the contractions were really close, but not really strong. We headed home.

A Crazy Night Before The Big Day!

On the way back to the house, we saw a falling star, so that was really cool. We walked in the door and my mom met us asking if we had felt the earthquake. Earthquake? In Dallas!? We had missed it, but she said the dog was going crazy and the light fixtures were all swaying. Then my husband turned on the light to walk down the hall and we saw a possum laying in the hallway!! Our dog had gotten out the back door, killed a possum and brought it in for us! I was afraid it was "playing possum" and would jump up when my husband went to scoop it up with a shovel. That, however, was not the case! After all the excitement, we decided to head to bed.

My contractions lasted all night long and I kept waking up to time them on my phone. I got up around 6 because I was starving and my mom met me in the kitchen. She hadn't slept at all! This was on a Sunday morning and I knew the baby was going to be coming that day!

We started getting things ready. We put the shower curtain liner under the bed sheet in case I delivered in the bed. We got all of the necessary towels and other items out and ready. Kathleen called in the morning to check on me, but there was really no reason for her to head out yet.

I took a shower and got dressed. When I would have a contraction, I would bend over and hold on to the couch, sink or whatever it was and sway back and forth. I tried to control my breathing and remembered that saying "ah" or "oh" helped. I did this for pretty much every contraction. Laying in the bed hurt really bad, so resting was out of the question.

The Real Deal...Without Pain Medication!

My contractions took a turn around noon. They were really strong and about 3-5 minutes apart. Kathleen said she would come over around 1:00 to check on me, so I knew I could make it that long. She called a little after 1:00 to see how I was doing and let us know that she was going to see another client on her way over to our house. She heard me having a contraction in the background and decided that she had better come see me first! She arrived at our house around 1:20.

When she got there, she said I could get in the bath and to run the water really warm. It felt really good after I got it cooled down a little bit! I relaxed pretty much immediately and my contractions were a little more manageable and I had a little bit of a break. She checked and I was dilated to 7 cm!! This was wonderful news!!

Ben had decorated the bathroom with candles and even a tree in the corner. The tree actually became something I focused on between contractions instead of looking around and seeing everyone watching me! It really did look nice! My mom, Ben, Kathleen and her assistant were there.

Kathleen suggested a few positions, but most of the time I felt best just laying back and holding on to the side. Sometimes I sat up straight when I had contractions and sometimes I just laid back. I tried to breathe through them. Sometimes they were so hard that I was yelling somewhat and breathing fast. She always would remind me how to breathe deep from my belly and I would regain my control.

She said I could push whenever I wanted and see if it felt better. Honestly, I wasn't sure if it felt better or not, so I would try every once in awhile. This was definitely different than being told to push and counting to 10 in the hospital. I could push as much and as long as I wanted during each contraction.

I remember saying at one point that I thought my belly button was going to explode. It was poking up a good inch from my belly! I also yelled that it hurt so bad. At one point, they said they could see the baby's head and that was really motivating. I was ready to have this baby out.

My back started hurting really badly and this was the end because I kept saying I couldn't do any more. I knew I had no other choice, but I wanted them to know that I was done and I wasn't playing!!

A few more pushes and suddenly the pain was gone at 4:07 pm. There was a baby laying on my chest. Ben told me I had a girl! Then he told me to tell everyone her name which is Elizabeth Dawn. My mom was so excited and started crying (the baby was named after her and my dad). I remember noticing that she was so clean but a little blue. After just a few seconds, she started crying a little bit. They wrapped us in towels and got us to the bed. A little while later we had an herbal bath. I was blessed. She was perfect and the birth had gone perfectly!

Recovery

My recovery has gone really quickly. I did receive a few stitches, but even those seem to have healed quickly this time. My arms were sore from holding the tub. I pretty much was feeling great within a few days of the birth and back to normal within a week.

Elizabeth has also done really well. She was very alert after the birth and we enjoyed hanging out on our bed and spending some time with her. She has taken up breastfeeding very well and has gained weight. She is precious and the perfect addition to our family.
I love that I had her at home and had such a supportive group around me. This was a great experience, although it was a lot of work and quite painful (but only really painful for about 4 hours).

I have been asked if I would do it again and I think I would. I read a lot of books, blogs and websites about birthing before going through this experience. They each had different information that I took from them to use during the birth. I am so thankful for the birth in the comfort of my home surrounded by people who understand and support my decision.

My Home Birth FAQs

Here are some of the questions I got asked (and my answers) before my home birth

1. Are you going to give birth in your bed?
I will give birth wherever is comfortable, but I haven't ruled out giving birth in or next to the bed.

2. Are you going to labor or birth in your tub?
Again, I'm not sure where I'll end up giving birth, but I do plan to use the bathtub at some point. We have a large claw-foot tub in the middle of our bathroom, so it should work out well.

3. Who is going to clean up?
My midwife and her assistant stay around for a few hours afterward to clean up, keep an eye on the baby and me and take care of any final things they need to do.

4. How did you pick your midwife?
I did a ton of research, but starting at 12 weeks pregnant looking for a midwife, I kind of wanted to get it done. I e-mailed a few CPMs, but we decided to go with a CNM because of the nursing background. I interviewed a birthing center in the area, but we thought that felt more like just going to some hotel to deliver--plus they kick you and the baby out a few hours after birth. So we met with the midwife we chose and really liked her. She had a lot of helpful insights and treated us well.

5. Are you going to have any pain medication?
No, I will be using relaxation methods, water, etc. to help deal with my pain. Plus I plan to focus on Scripture and pray a lot!! Doing a home birth pretty much ensures that you're going to go natural.

6. What happens if there is an emergency?
My midwife brings along a lot of supplies in case there is a minor problem. If there is something major, we can transport to one of the local (close) hospitals. We can either go in the car or call an ambulance if needed. We do not anticipate a problem, but if one arises, we will be prepared and follow the advice of our midwife.

7. When will your midwife come over?
She will be here while I am in active labor. She will come over when we call and tell her that my contractions are 5 minutes apart and lasting about 60 seconds for an hour. When I am "working with" them, breathing through them and focusing.

8. Will she have an assistant?
She will have a birthing assistant with her. Plus my mom and husband will be there!

9. Does she bring everything you need?
She gave me a list of supplies I need at home like towels, diapers, a birthing kit that I ordered online, a heating pad, thermometer, etc. She brings the other necessary supplies including oxygen, IVs and other supplies that she will need (whatever those might be)! Pretty much anything that is available at the birthing center she will bring with her. These are also items that are available at the hospital.

10. Were your other babies born naturally?
My other two were born in a hospital with epidurals. This will be my first unmedicated birth!

11. What is going to happen with your 2 other children while you give birth?
Someone will take care of them if it is during the day. If it is night, they will be sleeping. They will not be participating in the birth!

12. Are you crazy?
Nope. I just want to protect my baby and myself as much as possible now that I have read a lot more about birth and what I want it to be like that I don't think I can achieve in a hospital setting.

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Naturally Healthy Pregnancy by Shonda Parker

This book asnwers all the questions about nutritio more...0 points

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Funny Birth Pictures

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Your Thoughts

I'd love to hear what you think!!

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earthybirthymama Mar 8, 2012 @ 2:59 pm | delete

I've had two homebirths if I could have had all the others at home I would have. Great Lense, Many Blessings and Happy International Women's Day!

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earthybirthymama Mar 8, 2012 @ 2:59 pm | delete

I've had two homebirths if I could have had all the others at home I would have. Great Lense, Many Blessings and Happy International Women's Day!

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arfrancis Feb 29, 2012 @ 4:38 pm | delete

Thank you for writing this lens, I gave birth to my second child at home and it was better than I could have hoped for.

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VisFeminea Feb 23, 2012 @ 5:00 pm | delete

Love it!
I'm a home-birthing mama too ;)

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SophiaStar Feb 21, 2012 @ 3:43 am | delete

I have not had a baby yet. However I have a few close friends who have done home births and I also have seen the documentary the Business of Being Born. Wonderful lens!
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