Important Safety Tips

Always make sure you remember the name of the woman you are dating when talking to her.1 point

Do not put your finger in the light socket unless you enjoy burns and being thrown across a room.0 points

Generally tigers do not like to be petted at the zoo.0 points

If a sign says "Tiger May Spray", asking if he has a hose while not backing away is not recommended.0 points

Standing on a miniature golf course hill with a golf club in your hand during a lightning storm may attract lightning strikes.0 points

Taking several swigs of Diet Coke and then gulping down Menthos candies is probably not a good idea.0 points

When asking for directions, try to not to ask someone who is just as lost as you.0 points

Doodling during your job interview can be hazardous to your career.0 points

Preparation H is to be used externally. It says so on the box and they mean it!0 points

Food that is creating it's own life form should not be eaten.0 points

Avoid drinking water that is the same color as raw sewage.0 points

Never give a cat a bath without talon gloves and body armor.0 points

Wearing raw meat while visiting an alligator farm is considered quite harmful.0 points

Never get between a man and his beer.0 points

Do not use a high powered rifle to shoot a bobcat you've just seen when you live in a mobile home community.0 points

Never go out in the eye of a hurricane to smell the flowers (or any other reason).0 points

Just because the gun has blanks in it, doesn't mean it won't kill you if you put it to your temple and pull the trigger.0 points

Bullets that are shot in the air do not just go into orbit. They come down. Preferably not on someone.0 points

Hammers are for metal nails, not for thumb nails.0 points

Locking your cars safely and securely is good. Locking your keys in the car is not.0 points

Pulling the ripcord on a parachute when you reach 25 feet is not going to help you not to go splat.0 points

Always tightly secure the lug bolts on the car. Otherwise you may find yourself singing "You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel."0 points

Telling a Trekkie that the Enterprise was a garbage scow can be dangerous to one's health.0 points

Do not take a hose, turn on the water, and push the nozzle into the ground if you ever want the hose back in one piece.0 points

Never take apart Dad's $150 calculator to see how it works without permission.0 points

Don't spill lighter fluid on yourself while trying to light a barbecue, unless you want to be the barbecue.0 points

Bungi jumpers should always make sure that the combined size of the bungi and themselves are shorter than the platform to the ground.0 points

Don't run with scissors, knives, axes, razor blades, or any other sharp pointy thing.0 points

Using a knitting needle or kitchen knife to clean out ear wax is not a good idea. What?0 points

Never put a laser pointer up to your eye and turn it on to see if it works0 points

Do not run around in a bunch of fire ants covered in honey.0 points

Never jump out of an airplane unless you have a good parachute.0 points

Never visit websites that start out with, "So you've never had a virus..."0 points

High voltage does not mean grab it with both hands!0 points

Horses do not like to be kicked in the rear end, and bulls do not like to be milked via their tails. :)0 points

Never yell your disgust at the home team on the home team field.0 points

Never call 911 to find out how to cook a turkey properly. They tend to frown on that.0 points

If you sleep in a waterbed, leaving a knife in your pocket is probably a bad idea.0 points