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From the lens Infidelity and Marriage: How to Know if you Should Spy.

  • Victoria Sep 10, 2008 @ 1:10 pm | delete
    I knew I knew I knew something was amiss, to put it mildly, and no amount of asking him brought me peace. Finally, after a year or more of the re-occurring feeling, I found a clue, put myself into "Nancy Drew" mode, and found what I needed. My find brought me peace, as well as proof, as well as grief.
    All in All........I am so glad I did the snooping, although it was tough at times to feel okay with myself about my actions.
    "We" are stronger now, after much work and discussion, very much together, and I do not regret any of the Nancy I felt I had to be.
  • Props-n-Frocks-Fancy-Dress Jun 24, 2008 @ 6:41 am | delete
    A 'gut' instinct will often turn out to be the truth. Spying may work, depends on the circumstances.
  • dr425years May 29, 2008 @ 12:26 am | delete
    I truly believe that all women have a "gut instinct", that men do not operate in as easily.
    When our significant other lies, and it contradicts our "gut", especially if they indicate or say that we are "crazy", in order to retain our own value/self worth, we may have to resort to spying.
    It is more about knowing that we can trust our gut. That is so much a core of who we are as women, that doubting our instinct, causes us to doubt ourselves and who we are.

    In other words, sometimes, "spying" is more about survival of our own self esteem
  • BooBooBear May 20, 2008 @ 7:05 am | delete
    Thank you for joining the Best Self Help Books group.
  • Emily May 17, 2008 @ 2:01 am | delete
    Too often the infidel denies his affair even when being confronted with proof! I see spying as a useful tool.

by

dr_huizenga

Dr. Robert Huizenga, CSW, LMFT, The Infidelity Coach, is an author, and Marriage and Family Therapist. For the past two decades he has served hundreds... more »

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