How To Get Over A Broken Heart - Insight #3

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HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART INSIGHT #3 - "Let Go Of Your Story"

In the aftermath of a breakup, its natural to spend some time licking your wounds as you try and make sense of things. Still, a long term pity party will only prevent you from learning how to get over a broken heart.

You see the key to discovering how to get over a broken heart is letting go of the story you tell yourself to explain things. ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS AS LEARN HOW TO GET OVER YOUR BROKEN HEART:

  • What story is it you're telling yourself as the explanation for the hurt you feel?


  • Who is at fault for the hurt you feel right now? What caused your broken heart?


  • What solutions do you seek to heal your broken heart? Does the solution involve you or someone else?


  • What and/or whom is your story focused on - you or outside factors?


  • Is it possible there's anything missing to this story you've told yourself to explain your hurt?



Whether you realize it or not - the answer to these questions will offer you insight to help you learn how to get over a broken heart. You see the only thing you can change is yourself. Until you let go of your story you'll never be able to understand yourself as both the cause and solution in your life and relationships

How To Get Over A Broken Heart Tip #1

Change Starts With You. Letting go of the story you tell to explain your hurt is essential to understanding yourself as both the cause and solution in your life and relationships

HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART - A Review Of Insights #1 & #2... 

Hopefully, you've read the first two sections on this four part series on how to get over a broken heart: (Here are the first two insights for a quick review)

HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART INSIGHT #3 - "Your Story & Why You Can't Get Over A Broken Heart" 

In the aftermath of a breakup, when painful memories surface, heartbreak takes over. As you try to make sense of things, your thoughts and feelings influence each other in an endless downward spiral of pain. You fall so deep into a pit of despair, getting over a broken heart seems impossible.

It is vital you examine the story you tell yourself while in this state. Your thinking can quickly become a "victim story" if you're not careful. You see whether you realize it or not, you're only seeing part of the picture. This is why the pain lingers and you can't discover how get over a broken heart.

So what exactly is your "victim story" comprised of? How does it prevent you from learning how to over abroken heart? CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:

  • HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART POINT #1:"Emotions are internal mental projections, the body's response to the thoughts we think." In other words, your emotions are byproducts of your thought patterns and personal perceptions of things. They bear no basis in objective fact. Understanding this fact is very vital because it can help you get over your broken heart.


  • HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART POINT #2:Since emotions are your personal psychological and physical reaction to your thoughts and perceptions - the same can be said of a broken heart as well. In other words, the lingering presence of your broken heart is a byproduct of unhealthy thoughts and misperceptions you use to perpetuate it.


  • HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART POINT #3: Your victim story is comprised of a belief system, thoughts and emotions. The victim story that prevents you from learning how to get over a broken heart is based on a complex interplay between your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions. YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM comprises an understanding of not only yourself but your life and the world around you. This BELIEF SYSTEM dictates not only what THOUGHTS you focus on most but also your PERCEIVED UNDERSTANDING of things. All these things then work together to elicit strong EMOTIONS from the body in reaction to all this.


  • HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART POINT #4:The first step is asking what you believe about yourself and relationships in the aftermath of the breakup? Since emotions are your personal psychological and physical reaction to your thoughts and perceptions - the same can be said of a broken heart as well. In other words, the lingering presence of your broken heart is a byproduct of unhealthy thoughts and misperceptions you use to perpetuate it.

HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART...

Remember, you are the cause and your life is the effect. As byproducts of your thoughts its ridiculious to use your emotions as validation of what you think. Also, as a reaction to the thoughts and your perceived understanding of things, its ridculious to blame your broken heart entirely on outside.

HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART INSIGHT #3 - "Uncovering Your Story" 

As stated earlier, emotions are your body's responses to your thoughts.


  • You see people do things, events occur, and you react. You interpret what went down.


  • Your body responds with a series of sensations in reaction to your thoughts about what happened.


  • Ultimately this means emotions are your body's reactions to thoughts in your head.


  • Emotions don't happen to you, they occur within you.



Letting go of your victim story enables you to understand why you can't learn how get over a broken heart. This victim story you actually causes you to become attached and identified with your pain. It's only by letting go of this victim story, and accepting responsibility for your emotional well being that you can truly discver how to get over a broken heart.

HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART

Emotions Deepen By Repetition. If a person allows a state of feeling to thoroughly take possession, he will find it easier to yield to the same emotion the second time. Each repetition renders emotional habits more firmly interenched and the task of dislodging is more difficult" - William Walker Atk

HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART INSIGHT #3 - Questions To Ask & Let Go Of Your Story 

  • HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART QUESTION #1: Are you using your pain as justification for who you blame for your hurt? Maybe you're replaying the details of various events in your mind. As the pain then resurfaces, you point to it justification as justification for whose to blame. This thinking is dangerous. It causes you to identify with your pain as an integral part of the story you tell yourself. Letting go of this story is vital if you wish to learn how to get over a broken heart.


  • HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART QUESTION #2: Is there a history to your hurt? Does this heartbreak similar at all to any other painful events in your past? Pain brings with it a life lesson we need to learn. In reality any unresolved hurts are carried within us as a self-destructive force in all our relationships. All our efforts to run away from our pain are in vain. The only way to get over a broken heart is to let go of your victim story. This starts with accepting responsibility for your own emotional well-being.


  • HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART QUESTION #3: Are you resisting the idea that you play any part in your pain? Does the mere idea that you play a part in the ongoing presence of the hurt frustrate you? Do you resist the idea that you bear any responsibility for why you cant get over a broken heart? Keep in mind, resistance is a refusal to accept the truth. Acceptance is an acknowledgement of it.
  • HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART - QUESTIONS

    Are you using your pain as justification for who you blame for your hurt? Is there a history to your hurt? Are you resisting the idea that you play any part in your pain?

    How you answer these questions will determine if you can get over a broken heart or will only perpetuate your pain.

    Check this video for insights to help you heal 

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    hello there. My name is Kathleen and I'm a self-help junkie with a passion for writing and helping others. As I've grown from life's lessons, I try to... (more)

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