Loving Someone Across the Miles

It has been 5 years of happy relationship with a man I met online .

Finding love in a virtual world is like searching for a pearl in a vast, deep ocean. It was last quarter of 2006, when out of curiosity, my bestfriend and I explore cyber world. I stumbled to one dating site, I registered & browsed profiles after profile of many gents searching for love & friendship when I received a message from one member asking how I'm doing. We exchanged messages but ended up in a heated discussion over one particular topic.

Several months passed by & out of nowhere, while I was online, he greeted me & asked if I did remember him, we apologized for our silly
behavior on the past & started getting to know each other thru daily chats. Friendship sprang between us. I enjoyed our virtual companionship & learn to trust & believe to a person whom I haven't touch nor see face to face , only through a yahoo chats.

Strange feeling grow stronger toward him & I get excited to head straight to an Internet shop from work to get online and chat with him. Luckily, my best friend invited me for a slept over, there, I woke up at 2 am to chat with him for hours and viewed each others web cam. A 3 hours slept never weaken my thin body because I am in a high dose of love which brought me to a " cloud 9" feeling. My well rested heart is now fully awake .

Loving someone whom I can only touch through computer screen is like building a sand castle. Though I put a lot of effort, of handwork, of time, patience to look it beautiful and perfect yet I know at any moment a flash of waves would wash away my castle. There is no solid guarantee as we live thousand miles away with each other but then I believe that love knows no boundaries.

Many months gone by and we talked to the idea of meeting face to face. My heart leaped and beat twice than the normal rate. On June 28, 2008, we finally met face to face. While I was waiting for him at the arrival hall in the airport, intense mixed feeling strike on me. A feeling of excitement, fear, shy and many what if. In just a glance, I knew it was him approaching me, my heart seemed stop to beat, I was froze until he held my hand, stare, smile and we hugged each other tightly

Everything was perfect with us, we traveled, we enjoyed every moment of being physically with each other, we promised to nurture our relationship. It was pure bliss, heaven and I cant ask for more. We met and spend two weeks together every 6 months and plan to build a family but I guess not all best things last forever.

We started to argue, we begin to noticed that we have differences that sometime left argued, he started to lied, I opted a silent war with him. Everything seems falling apart, misunderstanding after misunderstanding. The joy in our relationship is now being replaced by fear and doubts , the cords that binds us is in gradual loose. Plan change after plan until we never meet for a year. We struggled to fix everything but find it hard to solve every issues that came our way. I discovered that my prince is a prisoner of his past and I am caged with my present responsibility. My dreams shattered although I still have a little seed of hope inside my heart. I love my prince but what I can do if God's only purpose is for me to borrow him while God is preparing a King for me to settle.