RebelPilot Issue 50

The Star Park lads have had their last update and upload of new stuff for a while.

The boys are having a break. I think their reason is study or some other lame excuse.

Check out the motherlode of South Park style fun stuff at www.jedinet.com/starpark

Top 10 Rebel Bumper Stickers

10. "IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM, RAM 'EM!"

9. "REMEMBER ALDERAAN"

8. "IF YOU CAN'T BE GOOD, BE CAREFUL"

7. "IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE TOO CLOSE. LOOSEN UP!"

6. "MY R2 UNIT SAYS "PPBBBT" TO YOUR SFS TARGETING COMPUTER!"

5. "IF YOU OUTLAW BLASTERS, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE BLASTERS"

4. "_I_ HAVE SHIELDS"

3. "STAY ON TARGET!"

2. "I AM _NOT_ THE SQUADRON LEADER. SHOOT SOMEONE ELSE"

1. "I FLEW THE DEATH STAR ASSAULT, AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY BUMPER STICKER"

Copyright Ownership Unknown

Lego comes from Denmark so it's no surprise that one of the best Star Wars Lego sites on the Net is Danish.

What: Millennium Falcon, Slave I, AAT (Armoured Assault Tank from Episode I) and the Luke vs Vader scene from The Empire Strikes Back all lovingly recreated in Lego.

Where: www.doe2.de/lego/models.html

You can even download the building instructions to build your own AAT.

aka Bebo Lokk is looking for some constructive criticism for his SW fan fic. You'll find him at http://bebo_lokk.homestead.com/home.html

As you might imagine I'm a little too busy to proof-read manuscripts. But there might be some keen RebelPilot readers who are willing to give him some feedback and sign his guestbook.

And tell him RebelPilot sent ya.

I got an email a while back from a RebelPilot reader asking me why I've never had a trivia quiz.

Well I kind of considered it but correlating the entries might prove to be a handful OR no one replies and you get this empty feeling inside :(

But I actually had tossed together a trivia quiz a while back. I believe it was before RebelPilot came out on a weekly basis and in my recent sorting out of data on my hard drive I found it.

So going against my better judgement I'll post it in this issue. Send your results to voting@starwarsmail.net and put TRIVIA QUIZ in the subject line.

I tossed it together off the top of my head while at work. So the questions aren't overly researched and are somewhere between dead easy to a medium level of hardness for the Star Wars loving aficionado. Though I threw in a couple of curve balls to separate the Sandpeople from the Jawas.

And as Colin Taylor says "I'll post the answers and results of the people who correctly answer all of the trivia questions in an upcoming issue of STARFLEET". . . OOPS- RebelPilot.

1. What's the real title for Star Wars Episode 4?

2. What's the name of the gunner in Luke's snowspeeder in the battle of Hoth?

3. What is the name of Wedge's rear gunner in the battle of Hoth?

4. What is the name of at least one other pilot who fought in that battle?

5. What is the snow beast in The Empire Strikes Back?

6. How many bounty hunters are assembled on the bridge in The Empire Strikes Back?

7. What did Piett refer to them as?

8. What are the names of Luke's wingmates in the first Death Star run?

9. Which one dies?

10. What is the name of the planet that Yoda lives on?

11. What is the weapon on the snowspeeder that is used with the most effect against the AT-AT walkers?

12. What does AT-AT stand for?

13. What rank did Ben Kenobi hold in the Old Republic?

14. What planet does Biggs come from?

15. What planet does Wedge originally come from?

16. What is the species of Jabba's pet that is hidden under the trapdoor?

17. What type of armour does Fett wear?

18. What style of music is played in the Mos Eisely Cantina?

19. What does TIE stand for?

20. Who is the manufacturer of the X-Wing fighter?

21. What are Y-Wings primarily used for?

22. What was Han Solo's occupation?

23. What is the name of Leia's (foster/adopted) father from Alderaan?

24. What was Princess Leia's position in the Imperial Government?

25. What is Leia's real father's name?

26. What his name prior to that?

27. What is the occupation of Luke's Uncle Owen?

28. Name three species of short aliens from the trilogy.

29. Give the names of three bounty hunters (other than Boba Fett).

30. What species is Admiral Ackbar?

31. What do Wookiee's live in?

32. Name of Wookiee homeworld?

33. How many legs does an AT-ST have?

34. What is the name of the general who oversees the rebel base on Hoth?

35. What is the name of the planet near to where Han clocked up his record run?

36. What was his record?

37. Is the answer to the above in reference to time or distance?

I tracked down the author of the HUMOROUS FAN FIC known as THE ADVENTURES OF WEDGE ANTILLES and his name is Mike Schorsch.
And here's what he had to say:

"Yeah, I wrote this--way back when I had the second-best Wedge page on the Web up. Jim Fisher's was usually better, but Corellian Bloodstripes, as I called my page, had a few followers on alt.fan.wedge. I wrote this story because I needed some more material, in addition to my shoddy but extensive wav file library (every Wedge line in the movies) for the site when I first put it up. . . Oh, must have been about January of 1996, though I might be wrong on that."

And so we return with Part II of...

THE ADVENTURES OF WEDGE ANTILLES a.k.a. THE STAR WARS TRILOGY

Author's note: The Adventures of Wedge Antilles is the true story of what happened in the movies - by that I mean how Wedge destroyed both Death Stars, killed the Emperor, etc. etc. etc. Well, enough talk, let's get on with this adventure into the heart of truth...

CONTENTS
Section 2: The Empire Strikes Back
2.1: The Battle of Hoth
2.2: Escorting Transports
2.3: Protecting Han and Leia
2.4: Saving Lando and Leia from Bespin

2: The Empire Strikes Back

2.1: The Battle of Hoth

We all know what happened here. Alliance "hero" Luke Skywalker led a defense assault on Imperial walkers. Of course, he was never able to get off a shot because he stunk so bad he was hit in the first twenty seconds of the battle, losing up-and-coming gunner Dack in the process. Wedge then took the initiative, and with the help of the best gunner in the Alliance (besides the the Great One, of course), Janson, blew up an AT-AT before Rogue "leader" and Rogue 2 were destroyed, leaving the command up to Wedge. He immediately switched to attack pattern omega, and although the shield was already down, they were able to destroy 3 more walkers and delay the arrival of Vader considerably.

Continues after the ASCII Art...

The Battle of Yavin IV - Death Star Approaching

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My First Ascii Art
©2000 FlashAhhh

Thanks Mr Ahhh.

I'm unsure if Flash centred the text when he created it or if his page size is set wider than mine but it came over a bit of a mess. So I trimmed the edges and deleted a bit here and threw in a few extra dots there. Flash had a whole lot more fighters in there but they were lost during the aforementioned editing stage.

2.2: Escorting Transports

Wedge and Rogue group now had to escort Rebel transports. As Our Hero, Janson, and Luke flew with the two transports through the atmosphere, Wedge thought up a brilliant tactic. When they passed within striking distance of the Executor, Wedge locked s-foils in attack position and strafed the SSD, causing it to retreat in his wake; he also temporarily disabled it. He held it there for a few more minutes and destroyed part of the TIE escort before heading after the Millennium Falcon to make sure Princess Leia escaped safely.

2.3: Protecting Han, Leia, and Chewie

Wedge flew just below the belly of the destroyer that was tailing the Falcon, destroying TIEs as they emerged. Soon, however, his lasers ran dry after he racked up 28 kills. He then blew by the surviving TIEs and hid behind an asteroid, still wanting to stay unknown to the Imperials. When an enemy fighter would fly close to an asteroid, Wedge would fire a torpedo, making it look as if the fighter had crashed. He ran out of torps pretty fast though, so he latched on to the star destroyer's hull, and then watched smiling as Han pulled the same trick a little bit later. When the Falcon detached, so did Wedge, and as we all know, so did Boba Fett. The Slave 1 would have caught the Falcon had it not been for the heroic intervention of the Great One, who attacked the infamous bounty hunter with no weapons whatsoever. Wedge flew circles around Fett for an hour, until the Slave 1 ran out of weapons energy from firing (and missing) at the elusive snub fighter pilot. They then began to race to Bespin, but they tied, both getting there several hours before the ailing Falcon.

Continues after the ASCII Art...

         _.-'~'-._
        /         \
       |  U \ / U  |
    ___|           |___
   /   |  VVVVVVV  |   \
  /  ,'|  IIIIIII  |'.  \
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  | |    )       (    | |
  | |   /   ___   \   | |
  | /  |   /\ /\   |  \ |
 /II\  |   | Y |   |  /II\ 
V II \ |   |  \|   | / II V
  II / /_I_\   /_I_\ \ II
Rancor
©2000 RebelPilot

2.4: Saving Lando and Leia from Bespin

As the Great One and Fett flew into the atmosphere together Wedge decided he was not going to give up without a fight - Boba Fett had the same idea. Handing over control of his X-Wing to his R2 unit, he opened the hatch a crack and began firing with his blaster pistol at the Slave 1, while Boba fired at Wedge through a hole that Wedge made in the windshield. Fett landed on a platform where Imperials met him, while the Great One flew upside down and latched onto the bottom of the city, then climbed along the infrastructure into the home of an Ugnaught where he bought some power cells and began recharging his ship's lasers.

Once Wedge found out the location of Leia and Han, he rushed to warn them. Unfortunately, 4 squads of stormtroopers that surrounded him slowed him down considerably, although he was able blast his way through this temporary barricade. When he arrived, all he found was Vader, who quickly recognized Wedge as the pilot he had met at the first Death Star. Vader got down on his knees and began to beg for mercy, so Wedge just kicked Darth in the head, which significantly lowered the morale of the troops looking on. (Did I exaggerate there?... nah!)

Wedge tore through the halls, and came around behind Boba Fett as the bounty hunter was firing at Luke. Wedge grabbed Fett and slammed him into the wall, then ripped his helmet off and punched him in the face.
Having accomplished that, he ran off in pursuit of Chewie and Leia. Wedge had to fight through brigades of Imperial troops once again, and by the time he got to where he thought they would be, they were gone. Wedge then headed to Boba's platform in an attempt to save Han, but he was only able to kill some STs, not Boba Fett himself. The Great One, being as perceptive as he is, climbed down to his X-Wing, knowing all the while he would have to cover the Falcon's escape.

He fought TIEs bravely, but there were 4 or 5 that got by this human firewall. Luckily, Chewbacca was a good enough pilot to elude the fighters until Wedge caught up with them. Finally, after all that work, they arrived at the Medical Frigate where the Great One was treated for a nasty blister on his trigger finger.

©1996 Mike Schorsch. Reprinted with permission.

Ten Lines You'll Never Hear In Star Wars

10. Stormtrooper to Captain: "Sir, do you ever feel...you know...not so fresh?"

9. Leia: "I love you." Han: "You're not getting my Bud Lite."

8. Palpatine Clone: "Get the cocktail sauce! It's fried Calamari tonight!"

7. Vader, to Admiral Motti's dissing of The Force: "I think someone needs a time-out."

6. C-3PO: "Fine. Don't listen to me. Go ahead and die, for all I care."

5. Jabba: "Solo, you scamp! You're a naughty boy!"

4. Luke: "So what if she's my sister? She's HOT!"

3. Greedo (in Rodian): Going somewhere, Solo? Where's my hug?

2. Anyone: "Y'know, I've got a GOOD feeling about this!"

1. Imperial Officer: "Inform the Commander that Lord Vader's shuttle has arrived... and me without a thing to wear!"

Stocks are running low again in the ASCII Art account. Send in your contributions to the usual address.

And any original humour you've written is also most appreciated.

:>o<:
gLeN a.k.a wraithfive
www.rebelpilot.net ~~~~:>o<:

RebelPilot:>o<: = = = = = = = = = = = (-o-)
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