James B'Old Super Spy (Retired)

James stood looking out of his Parisian hotel window. February was his favorite time of year in Paris. The air outside was thick enough to feel on his skin as he walked to the Louvre.

"Today I will go to see Venus." He thought as he looked out of the window onto the waking street, shopkeepers and market vendors seemed to be appearing from nowhere.

There was a knock at the door, "James?" a woman's voice. "James, are you in there?"

James wandered over to the door and looked through the spy hole. "Ah Miss Euroback."

James opened the door. "Good morning Miss Euroback"

Her short dark hair seemed to glisten in the hotel tungsten lights, Miss Euroback stepped into the room.

"James, we need your help"

James eyed Miss Euroback, her short stature had always attracted him, he wasn't sure if it was the deep brown eyes or her sagging breasts, but the feeling was there. If only he was 20 years younger.

Well if he was 20 years younger then he wouldn't be retired now.

"I'm retired"

"James there is nobody else that can help." Euroback had a sound of desperation in her voice that James had heard before.

"James, I need you to come with me"

James looked at his reflection in the hotel wardrobe full length mirror. "I need to get ready, have a drink from the mini bar I'll be 20 minutes."

Euroback looked James for a while, confused "20 minutes?"

"Well it takes a while, you know, shoes are not so easy, you know bad back and all that."

James grabbed a clean pair of grey slacks and a light brown sweater from a hanger and went to the bathroom to get ready.

46 minutes later he emerged from the bathroom.

"20 minutes you said." Euroback said before taking another sip of her orange juice.

"I'm sorry; it's this damn everpee"

Euroback looked even more confused and asked "everpee, what the hell is everpee."

"Oh, it's Q's best invention to date."

Again Euroback asked "OK, but what the hell is an everpee?"

James looked a little embarrassed before he answered "Well it's a, well it's a, you know, a colostomy bag, but one that you never have to worry about emptying."

"Colostomy bag?"

"Yes, Q worked out a way for your pee to evaporate inside the bag, some kind of super insulation I think he said, how is Q?"

"Dead." Euroback said tenderly.

"Ah."

"James he was 97 when he died, good innings and all that"

"So who takes care of that side of things now, with the gadgets and stuff?"

Euro thought for a moment before answering, "Well we had R for a while, but he defected, then there was S and you probably heard what happened to him, big press coverage there and T didn't last long, with the laptop thefts and now we have U."

"Me?"

"No James, U."

"That's what I just said, me."

"No James the new tech mans code name is U."

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