Coping With Jealousy
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Coping With Jealousy
Jealousy occurs in most human relationships at one time or another. Whether your relationship is an intimate one, a friendship, or just co-workers, it is not immune to the possibility of jealousy.
Jealousy can be thought of as those feelings you have when you perceive that your relationship is under attack. It can come about from your own insecurities about themselves and your relationships. This feeling is responsible for some very bad behavior exhibited by people who could not control their jealousy. From physical abuse to harsher abuse, the feeling has gotten many in serious trouble. How then can you deal with jealousy?
Research has shown that people cope with jealousy in different ways either separately or in combination.
Many people try to avoid the person they are jealous of. This can be a spouse, friend, or a family member.
With avoidance there is likely to be thoughts of leaving the relationship or simply to retreat to a 'safe' place or distance. This way of coping also includes staying away from the person and having little or no contact with them.
Another way people cope with jealousy is to revisit or reanalyze the situation. Here people will run through their minds what is happening, what caused it, and why it is affecting them in the way that it is.
People usually get upset and critical of themselves for being jealous and try to find reasons why they should not be jealous.
They do this in an effort to reduce the intensity of the feeling.
There are those who cope by devaluing the relationship they have. They will pretend that the person is not "worth it" or is no longer an important person to them. This method really revolves around a self deception which is never a good thing to do.
Another common way people deal with jealousy is to communicate the feeling.
For many people this is not an easy thing to do. It has been found by researchers that communication can bring about a reduction in the feeling but only when it results in the relationship growing and becoming better or a change in the way the other person's behavior is perceived.
By communicating the feeling in a constructive manner you will find that the other person usually understands your feelings and will often empathize with you and offer you some degree of comfort. They may even change their behavior so as to help you not feel jealous anymore.
One of the best methods of coping with jealousy is with hypnosis. You simply listen to the pre-recorded hypnosis session and gradually your jealousy will start to melt away.
Jealousy can be thought of as those feelings you have when you perceive that your relationship is under attack. It can come about from your own insecurities about themselves and your relationships. This feeling is responsible for some very bad behavior exhibited by people who could not control their jealousy. From physical abuse to harsher abuse, the feeling has gotten many in serious trouble. How then can you deal with jealousy?
Research has shown that people cope with jealousy in different ways either separately or in combination.
Many people try to avoid the person they are jealous of. This can be a spouse, friend, or a family member.
With avoidance there is likely to be thoughts of leaving the relationship or simply to retreat to a 'safe' place or distance. This way of coping also includes staying away from the person and having little or no contact with them.
Another way people cope with jealousy is to revisit or reanalyze the situation. Here people will run through their minds what is happening, what caused it, and why it is affecting them in the way that it is.
People usually get upset and critical of themselves for being jealous and try to find reasons why they should not be jealous.
They do this in an effort to reduce the intensity of the feeling.
There are those who cope by devaluing the relationship they have. They will pretend that the person is not "worth it" or is no longer an important person to them. This method really revolves around a self deception which is never a good thing to do.
Another common way people deal with jealousy is to communicate the feeling.
For many people this is not an easy thing to do. It has been found by researchers that communication can bring about a reduction in the feeling but only when it results in the relationship growing and becoming better or a change in the way the other person's behavior is perceived.
By communicating the feeling in a constructive manner you will find that the other person usually understands your feelings and will often empathize with you and offer you some degree of comfort. They may even change their behavior so as to help you not feel jealous anymore.
One of the best methods of coping with jealousy is with hypnosis. You simply listen to the pre-recorded hypnosis session and gradually your jealousy will start to melt away.
Jealousy in Relationships
Jealousy in relationships is a fairly common thing and many couples end up divorcing or have difficult relationships because of jealousy.
It is believed that jealousy in relationships generally stems from some form of fear, whether real or imagined.
Be it fear of being abandoned, fear of not being loved anymore, fear of the loss of respect and honor in the relationship, and fear of being disgraced in the neighborhood.
There are also other things such as problems from past relationships that are yet to be resolved and low self-esteem which also give rise to jealousy in relationships.
In relationships, jealousy usually shows up because of certain happenings such as the belief that certain commitments that has been made has been set aside by one person. This belief is strong whether or not there is proof. It also comes about because someone in the relationship is insecure about their life or the relationship.
There are times when jealousy can cause a similar reaction from the person who is the focus for the feeling. This is a kind of jealousy causing jealousy situation and is not healthy for any relationship.
It has been shown that men and women show there jealousy in different ways. Men are likely to deny feeling jealous while women are more than likely to acknowledge the feeling. Men tend to focus on the level of sexuality and their partners focus on someone else, whereas women tend to get angry about her partners emotional involvement with another person. Women are likely to blame themselves when jealousy arises in their partners, and men tend to place the blame on a third party.
Whatever the situation or reason jealousy can be such a negative force in relationships and all efforts must be taken to prevent it from taking root.
Learn how to take control of your jealousy and diffuse it.
Overcoming jealousy
- Remain in control of yourself and try not to panic, it is normal to feel that way and it could be a sign of other problem.
- Don't be too hard on yourself. There are many different reasons for jealousy and it does not mean you are a bad person.
- Identify the cause of jealousy that way you will know what to concentrate your efforts on. It may be something you or your partner is doing.
- Pay attention to what situations cause you to feel jealous. It could be a particular situation, thought, or feeling is causing it to occur. Once you can figure out the pattern then you can begin to work on choosing to react in a different way when faced with those situations and feelings.
- Normally jealousy stems from some amount of insecurity so communicate your feelings to your partner and you may find that it helps to put you at ease and strengthen your relationship.
- Try to modify the composition of your relationship so that your needs are being met.
If your partner is feeling jealous here are some things you should do:
- Don't over react.
- Try and understand your partner's feelings and empathize with them. Make them feel at ease letting you know and that you understand what they are experiencing.
- Communicate with your partner after the feeling of jealousy has subsided and try to find out if there is any underlying cause or relationship issue. Thus you can identify what in the relationship needs to be worked on.
- Be supportive and try to make your partner not feel they are alone.
- Try to be more flexible and make some modifications to your own behavior in an effort to strengthen the level of trust your partner has.
- Exercise patience as this will take some time to be sorted out and eliminated.
Help With Jealousy in Relationships
Escaping Emotional Entrapment: Freedom from Negative Thinking and Unhealthy Emotions
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Share Your Tips For Overcoming Jealousy
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Domique21
Sep 6, 2011 @ 9:30 pm | delete
- I knew the feeling of being jealous but I don't want him to know that I am jealous.
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StellaSingles
Aug 5, 2011 @ 12:20 pm | delete
- jealousy taken to the extreme is one of most damaging things that can happen in a relationship. Ladies, and guys for that matter, don't get too crazy with jealousy. A little is important, but not too much.
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ludys Jul 11, 2011 @ 12:57 pm | delete
- Thank you for this lens. It has good information.
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riconquistare
Jun 28, 2011 @ 9:11 am | delete
- I like this lens.
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