How to Find a Job

Well, let's beginning at the beginning. In order to do something different, you will need to be trained to do something different. Let's go to Monster at www.monster.com or www.occ.com and in the Search Jobs box near the to of the page lets put the wording training and push the enter key on the keyboard. You could push the search button on the screen if you prefer. Notice that I did not put in a particular location. If the location where you are now had plenty of jobs that you already know how to do, would you be reading this? Maybe, maybe not. In any case, most people should at least consider moving to where the jobs are.

When I do the nationwide search I see in excess of 40 pages of jobs that have the word "training" somewhere in the job description or title. My screen shows that to be over 5000 jobs. Not all of these jobs are relevant. Some of them are for trainers who teach other people how do do something.

Glancing at the page of jobs I see something that we are going to want to save for later. If you have Yahoo mail open in another page open up Notepad and type the phrase "entry level" and then save the note. By definition, if you are going to be trained for a job with which you are unfamiliar, you will be an entry level employee.

What the heck, reopen that Notepad page, drop down a line and type the word "training." Drop down one more line and type the word "manager." Save your work and go back to the monster page.

Let's do a new search. Get rid of "training" and type "entry level" in the search box instead. For those who are unfamiliar with how this works, when I ask you to type something, don't type the quotes. Type only what is in the quotes. Yeah, I "see" some of your rolling your eyes our there but I have worked help desk. You have to be able to anticipate that someone somewhere will misinterpret what you say or will just not get it at all. You ever have one of "those days?" When for some reason you get distracted and miss the obvious? Well just think of me as trying to help some poor soul through one of those daze.

Meanwhile, back at Monster, I see 40 pages and over 5000 entry level jobs. Looks like we can find some work. Somewhere. Glancing through the list I spy two little words. "Sales" and "marketing". Add these two words to your list over on the notepad. In military terms you might say we are reconnoitering the terrain. In a more nefarious profession you might say we are casing the joint. In truth, there are still so many jobs left in America that you will have to choose which field you want to pursue. If you are a people person then you are in luck. Both the sales and management fields almost always have lots of jobs and both fields require people who like people. Speaking of that, add the term "hr" to you notepad and "human relations." As long as there are companies that hire people, they will need someone to do the hiring. Maybe that someone could be you, doing a job in human relations.

At our present level of job search I am going to have to advise you to stay away from two types of jobs. One is the work at home job and the other is the "pay for training" job. Yes work at home jobs do exist. I have done a couple. However, in the present climate, there are like as not far too many red herrings and unscrupulous characters out there for you to wade through.

It almost goes without saying that if you are unemployed, you should not be emptying out your wallet to find a job. Especially when you don't have too. Speaking of that, you should benefit from my mistakes. I have paid for relatively expensive training in specialized fields in the past. Since I have made a dollar or two in return I am not telling you that the expensive training is worthless. I am saying that your tax dollars have already paid to create your local community college so why not see if you can get that expensive training there before you lay out serious money. Also there are professions, such as the military that will pay for you training and college. Check to see if you are eligible for those first before you lay out serious money. If you do decide to pay for training, find some reputable third party sources that will vouch for the institution of your choice. Make sure the place you go is licensed in your state and has accreditation by state and national organizations. If you ask, the providers of the education should be able to show you their accreditation and licenses. Go online some place away from the vocational school to see for yourself if they have accreditation. Check for the quality and frequency of BBB (Better Business Bureau) complaints against the institution. Never sign up with someone who says you have to sign up right now or miss out on the deal of the century. Especially if they show an extraordinary interest in your bank account and or credit card.

Let's look at a cool new job for ourselves. Let's check out "Entry Level Graphics Designer" in Irvine, CA. I have been to Irvine. I would not recommend it in the summer. It's too far from the Ocean to get a good sea breeze so not my idea of a vacation spot. But I worked near there at one time and you might get a job there so let's check it out.

Scanning through the job requirements I see "1-2 years previous experience." Not quite my idea of entry level but beggars can't be choosers. They prefer an AA or associates degree win Graphic Design. That's where that community or two year college comes in. From what I see so far, although they would like you have actually have the degree, you don't necessarily need it to get this job. In every job known to man, they will need you to know how do do something so let's see what that something is. There it is at the bottom. They want you to be familiar with Adobe products, Corel Draw and Microsoft Office. By the way, if you have a decently equipped local library you could go down there and practice with some of these products on your own time. Google projects that are based on these software applications to get some ideas about projects that you could practice on. If you have been an Oyster shucker all your life then some of the terms here might seem unfamiliar to you but then that is what community college is for. Google your local area community college and go old school and ask the librarian to help you find information. Before the internet, if you had a question about some subject that you didn't know the first thing about, you would call the library and ask the librarian.

By the way, seeing how as you are unemployed and the best politicians that money can buy are all sitting in Washington buying votes are putting tax cheats in as the head of the IRS...but I digress. As long as Washington keeps claiming "we're here to help," let them help. Mister Congressman if it's not too much trouble, if you could bribing your enemies and paying off your friends, how about a program to get all the unemployed people training and or education to find a new job. And maybe some assistance in finding a new field to enter and the mechanics of applying for that job would be a good thing too.

To finish off our look at that Entry Level Graphics Designer job, I see that they want someone familiar with ISO compliance. What, you may well ask, is ISO, and how do I comply with it. There was an old Monty Python sketch wherein the announcer said: And now for something completely different. I am sitting on a web page called www.iso.org. The website says there are 17,500 ISO standards. Gee, that looks like a little too much to cram for before a job interview. But you are in luck! The job description says that you only need to know about the standard concerning marketing and surveys. Boy that's a relief. For a minute there you thought you might have to memorize the compliance standards of chemical toilets or plumb bobs or something. Everyone everywhere says they have this secret that you have to pay them to get. Well here's a little secret I'm giving away! Every time you come across a specialized body of knowledge that an employer says is integral to a job or position he is currently offering, you have found a job. If you know some part of the ISO standards better than most people you could get a job teaching that knowledge, or applying that standard, or checking for compliance with that standard. By the way, in theory all you would have to do is read the standard and read a dozen or so cases histories in which the standard was successfully applied. If you really want to be the experts expert in the field, add a dozen or so cases wherein the standard was not successfully applied and the lessons learned from such failures.

And yes, I suspect that you have an educational institution near you that will be only too happy to supply you with a class on ISO standards. If there isn't then it's time to clamor for it. Since the world was supposed to be moving toward these standards as best business practices, it might be interesting if a lot of Americans became familiar with them and these self same Americans re-entered the work force eager to utilize their new skills at their new place of employment. That might shake things up.

Just for grins, let us once again, try something completely different. Let's see if those green jobs we all want have appeared yet. Let's put the phrase "solar installer" in the search box. We are looking to see how many jobs there are for people to install solar panels listed on monster. Three jobs in three different states. Looks like the government has it work cut out for it to create a green economy. Let's try wind. I am seeing 337 jobs across the whole country. Better. Let's give solar a try all by itself. 343 jobs. Much better than we got using a phrase. Note that the more words we put in the search box, the fewer jobs we get.

Let's be brutally honest though, just yesterday I saw that 63,000 people were laid off. Fewer than 1000 green jobs is not going to cut it. And looking over the job titles a lot of them are for engineers. Definitely not an entry level job. Let's try bio diesel--8 jobs.

To paraphrase an old saying, we should never let the perfect be the enemy of the good. I have turned down a good job or two waiting for that perfect one and have had nothing to show for that exercise. I do not recommend it.

Meanwhile, back on the gold standard, when I search for the word trainee, I get 2800 jobs. Not nearly enough to cover all the layoffs but you have to start somewhere.

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