Teenage Humor
My daughter is a twelve year old seventh grader (yes, I know that doesn't make her a teenager, but she's mature, OK?).
She is opinionated, pretty, sassy, untidy, precocious and always right (at least SHE thinks she's always right...).
Here are some jokes she finds hilarious.
Some Things to Ponder
Why can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance?Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
Deep Thoughts
I was standing in the park, wondering why frisbees got bigger as they got closer.Then it hit me.
WHAMO Wham-O Ultimate Frisbee, 175g MT52000
State of the art, ultimate Frisbee!
Amazon Price: $8.95 (as of 08/07/2008)
It Ain't What You Do....
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people."Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
See, Teachers Ain't So Clever
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
How to Tell Great Jokes
How To Tell Great Jokes will teach you all the essentials of joke telling, so that you can be more funny and better liked and respected. The book takes you on a tour of all the key elements of joke telling - timing and delivery, appropriate jokes, impersonations, joke writing and more.If you want to tell great jokes socially, at a wedding, the office party or want to try being a stand-up comic then check out How To Tell Great Jokes.
Philosophy
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but it only takes 4 muscles to beat the crap out of them. Special
Always remember you're unique.Just like everyone else.
Teenager Stuff on Cafe Press
Do You Have the Right Friends?
A good friend would would come visit you in jail, but a best friend would be sitting right next to you saying "That was awesome! Lets do it again!!" New Inventions by Blondes
The water-proof towelGlow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlights
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chairs
Water proof tea bags
Watermelon seed sorter
Zero proof alchohol
Reusable ice cubes
See through tiolet tissue
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
Helicopter ejector seat
Blonde Joke Books
Truly Tasteless Blonde Jokes
Amazon Price: (as of 08/07/2008)
The World's Best Blonde Jokes
Amazon Price: (as of 08/07/2008)
It's Not Easy Being Blonde (Exposed Board Little Books)
Amazon Price: (as of 08/07/2008)
The Little Book of Blondes
Amazon Price: (as of 08/07/2008)
Dumb Driver
A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over.He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smartass when he's drunk and stoned."
The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
A Poem
Roses are red,Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you!
HOWEVER
The roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl is empty,
And so is your head!
Teenage Humor on Amazon
The Summer of Naked Swim Parties: A Novel (P.S.)
Amazon Price: $11.16 (as of 08/07/2008)
All About Lulu
Amazon Price: $10.17 (as of 08/07/2008)
Dear Diary
Amazon Price: $13.60 (as of 08/07/2008)
Kick Me: Adventures in Adolescence
Amazon Price: $11.16 (as of 08/07/2008)
Superstud: Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin
Amazon Price: $11.16 (as of 08/07/2008)
Homer Simpson Quotes
Other Joke Lenses
Here are some other lenses with similar jokes. If you have a suggestion, let me know!-
Hilarious Emails
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Several of my friends and quite a few of my family members love to receive and share funny emails. They scour the web for these hilarious treats and forward them to everyone in their address book in hopes of giving someone a smile for the day. I alwa...
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? Your Vote Counts!
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This page is an attempt to answer that age old question. Please vote for your favorite answer or add another option if you think you can do better! (Please keep it clean and family friendly).
Jokes on Hubpages
- Jokes for Kids
- Kid-Friendly Jokes
- Easter Jokes & Riddles For Kids
- Get ready for springtime fun with these Easter jokes collected from around the web.
- 100 Funniest Clean Jokes
- Looking for a good ice breaker for your church fund raising potluck? Does your son need to bring a funny joke to his next scout meeting? Tired of hearing the same old boring tales that aren't really funny?
Comments and Contributions
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tdove
Thanks for joining G Rated Lense Factory! Posted August 02, 2008 |
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clouda9
This lens had me smiling and even chuckling out loud! I think it is great to connect with your kids in positive ways...this is a wonderful example! Thank you for sharing. Posted August 01, 2008 |
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RedSportNiac
Well she clever indeed. Her curiosity just really show that we adult are just fooling around not the other way around. Posted July 06, 2008 |
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richgerman
this could be the best medicine ever! thanks for your lens here:) i hope everyone could read this lens... 5 shining stars for you! Posted July 02, 2008 |
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The_Homeopath
Oh yes. My oldest is 12 too. I can relate! Posted June 26, 2008 |
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Matthew_Ferry
great lens you got here...i gave it 5.,..try to visit my lens too... Posted June 10, 2008 |
your daughter is a very smart girl lol
Posted June 09, 2008
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StephenC
Great stuff here! Loved it! Posted June 03, 2008 |
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enslavedbyfaeries
Thanks for the laugh! I enjoyed my visit here.:)I have a 12 year old daughter too. Of course, she thinks she's much older than that and we often have to gently remind her how old she really is. Posted June 02, 2008 |
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titanium_knights
Cute idea for a lens! Great job! Posted May 31, 2008 |
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AbbasAbedi
LOL! 5* Posted May 30, 2008 |
sweet jokes love em
Posted May 26, 2008
haha i love them so hilarios....
Posted May 21, 2008
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Michealnthan
nice lol... Posted May 09, 2008 |
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EverythingMouse
I think this a really well designed lens. So easy to read - as well as being funny! Posted May 08, 2008 |
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poddys
Great lens, I love the way you added just the right images and have lots of white space in the lens, not just huge blocks of text. Posted April 24, 2008 |
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Rukia
omg these are such awsome jokes i love them i am a 12 year old girl and i love them i just gotta show them to all my friends! i am a total fan!! Posted April 07, 2008 |
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riff999
Lol. I am passing this lens onto all my kids. I really enjoyed my stay. Posted April 07, 2008 |
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Ify_Osi
Hi Xtnshun, here's another joke for your daughter: Posted October 31, 2007 |
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belebay
Hi, I like your jokes and the pictures. 5 stars! Please visit my newly created lens Most Exciting Oriental Funny Jokes Posted October 17, 2007 |
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