Non Jewish Non Arab Israelis

When I first came to Israel, it was to visit the man who later became my husband, to check out the university (of Haifa), and to see what was so special about the MICHA pre school, for the benefit of my hearing impaired daughter. I had no way of knowing that my being Black would get me racially profiled as a risk for illegal immigration. Not even the people I'd spoken to at the Israeli embassy in Washington D.C. had a clue that such a thing could happen, especially not to an American.

Fast forward to after the wedding. I didn't have entry problems, but we had to pay A LOT of money in fees to the Ministry of Interior, and a few lawyers to ensure that my rights as the wife of an Israeli would be recognized. Because it takes 24 months before you are even legally recognized as "married" (you never are, but they legalize you as a cohabitant), and seven years total before you can apply for permanent residency or citizenship, you don't get any new immigrant benefits. None, zero, zippo.

Before you get upset, all of the rules here came about because someone at some point broke them or abused the rules at the time to the point that new ones needed to be made. So if you came to Israel after 1995, you had the worst timing. You should have met your spouse and fallen in love sooner.

The think you need to know before you come here is that this is not going to be a soft place to land at all. If you aren't Jewish, you will have to pay out of pocket for your ulpan or Hebrew classes. You also won't get any breaks on taxes, and may even get double taxed (actually taxed the difference). In addition, you will not really fit in anywhere. Most people are pretty friendly, but you will have to deal with a lot of stereotyping that people don't even know is racist but is.

In other words, to stay here, you have to really want to be here. It will take more than just loving your partner and being willing to suffer for them. You will, if you have kids who aren't technically Jewish, have to deal with the social problems they're going to have.

You can pretty much forget your daughters having a dating life. Most guys are happy to "date" them, but will never take them seriously as partners. For boys, it will be a little better, but not much. If your kids serve in the army, they will have very few friends, and may even encounter some severe harassment.

Worse, if you're of European ancestry, there are small groups of neo Nazis who attempt to recruit them. The police is now aware of them, but there are some still around here and there. They are a threat to everyone.

Before you come here, be aware that it's not going to be easy. Racism does exist here, and manifests in some surprising ways. However, there are enough real Israelis that your life here won't be completely miserable.

The real Israel, the people who remember why they're here, and respect the sacrifices of their parents and grandparents, are what makes this place worth living in. They are some of the least racist, most tolerant, and most helpful people on the planet. Whatever you may have heard a "typical Israeli" was like, these people are the opposite.

These are the people who welcomed me and taught me how to get along. These are the people who comforted me whenever some jerk did or said something stupid. These are my husband, my friends, and my daughter's teachers who told her that there's nothing she can't do aside of hear below 70 db. without hearing aids.

That is the real Israel, not the burocrats or the corrupt ones who take advantage or play power games. So whenever you think about leaving, think about them. If all the decent people leave, what will happen to the country?

So be realistic about the problems here, but instead of giving up, be a positive force for change.