Kari Andersen: WAHM with a Passion for Life!

If you or a loved one is in the Bozeman, Montana area and have trouble hearing, then listen up!!  hehe!!

My husband, Collin Andersen, has been half deaf since birth.  He recently started wearing hearing aids.

I can't believe the difference in our whole family's life.  Our lives were so affected by Collin's hearing loss.  Now he can hear and everything has changed. 

*We don't have to avoid groups or loud restaurants.
*We don't have to blast the tv or use subtitles.
*We don't have to yell.
*We don't have to stop talking as soon there is any other noise.
*We can go to the movies!
*We can sit anywhere we want... not just somewhere to favor his good ear.
*He can relax and enjoy people instead of feeling stressed about lip reading.
**We can chat in bed in the dark!!! ha!!

It's been wonderful having a HEARING HUSBAND for the first time ever.

Make an appointment for you or your loved one today. 
The hearing test is free and Collin knows how you feel!!!

Hearing Aid Institute
200 S 23rd #E 1
Bozeman, MT 57915
Phone: (406) 585-4669
Hearing Aid Institute website

So I'm going to my company's national convention at the end of July. I wasn't going to go due to finances and other choices we made with our money this summer.

Our #1 priority was to send our kids to Kids Church Camp.
They have never been to camp and a huge part of moving back to Gresham, Oregon was to be able to attend East Hill Church and give our kids all the benefits of an amazing church family.... our family.

So I was going to opt out of going to Summer Fling (it's called that because it's way more than a conference... it's a FLING!!). But a couple days ago, I was talking to Cheryl Hill (www.candlesbychill.com) and we were just dying because we wanted to go so badly. Last year we had so much fun and we just didn't want to miss it this year.

But she was also committed to a financial plan that she and her husband had set. So we just talked about last year and how we were affectionately called The Montana Babes and reminisced about all the laughs, dancing, drinks at the Magarita Bar, meeting new friends, hugging old friends and awesome business training. Not to mention all the amazing food included in the price of the ticket.

Finally we both realized that we had enough airline miles for a free ticket... WE SHOULD USE THE FREE PLANE TICKET TO GO TO FLING!!!

That was it. We were on a mission to make it work... and we did!!

So yesterday, Chery and I booked both our airline tickets and Fling conference ticket and we are on our way! As soon as we told Charlie Umphred, the VP and co-owner of the company, he asked Chill and I to speak! I will be sharing A Tale of Three Cities: How to Build a Business in Any Size Community

I really want to meet you and/or see you again.

Some of the best memories that I have are at FLING! This will be my 6th one!!!! I can't wait!!!

Mom! Get a Life!
By Kari Andersen

A day in the life of a mom is not always a pretty sight!! For those moms that have babies and have chosen to stay home with them, it's a day filled with diapers, crying, accidents and laundry. For those moms who have babies and work outside the home, it's all those things AND a hurried morning of trying to find the dress that doesn't have the spit-up on it and getting the car seats in the car to get the babies off to daycare. For others who have kids in school, it's a whole other set of crazy, tiring routines that leave a mom feeling unappreciated and absolutely worn out.

Many moms wait for their husbands to appreciate them and are left feeling slightly empty because men have their own set of needs that aren't being met and have a hard time filling you up when they are empty themselves. If you hold your breath waiting for your kids to appreciate you, you will turn blue and die long before you receive the much needed, "Thanks, Mom!" that many of us crave.

So is there any hope? Can you find appreciation in this life or do you have to wait until you cross over into glory to have God say, "Well Done"? Absolutely not! There is hope in the here and now but it requires a little effort on your part! No more waiting for someone else to appreciate you. You need to GET A LIFE!! Before you get mad at me, let me explain!

Three years ago, I was at the lowest place in my life. I had been a teacher for 12 years in the public school system. My husband had been a stay at home dad and part-time actor and pastor. We decided that it was time to follow the dreams that God had placed in his heart which was to move to Los Angeles so he could pursue acting as a full-time career and possibly be cast in television or movies.

So we rented out our house in Oregon and moved to a very small apartment in L.A. After a few weeks, when he didn't land the leading role in a major motion picture, we got hungry so he needed to get a job. He found a great job at a very large car dealership and began working 70-80 hours a week as a salesman to support us in very expensive Southern California.

This is where the depressing part kicks in. I was a stay-at-home mom of three small children for the first time ever, in a new, huge city where I was scared to drive and didn't know anyone and my husband was never home because he worked so many hours. I didn't want to get out of bed and shower each day. I cried all the time and my kids were also starting to mirror my bad moods and attitude. As the old saying goes, "If mom isn't happy, then no one is happy." This went on for almost two years! Ugh!!

My friends starting telling me that I needed to get help. They said I needed to go to the doctor and get medication to help my moods. So I did. I went in for my yearly physical and at that time asked my doctor if she could give me anti-depressants for my depression. She first asked me many questions about my life and about my past. She soon found out that this was an isolated incident and told me that I didn't need medication, I needed to get a life!! Ahhh!! The nerve!!! I wanted a quick fix and I wanted it NOW!! (Note: Many people suffer from chemical imbalances in their bodies and need medication to correct it. I'm not against anti-depressants. It just wasn't the proper diagnosis for me.)

Get a life! How do you do that?

Well, I wasn't about to let this doctor tell me that I needed to get a life. I had a life and it was depressing and boring and I was never appreciated for my efforts!! But, I went searching for what "Get a Life" meant anyway. In my search, I came to realize that God intends for our lives to be awesome and fulfilling!

So how do you get a life?

Here are the steps I took to find my new and amazing life:

· Write down all the things you love. I really like to be on the internet meeting and emailing people. I also love to sing. I really like teaching but not young kids anymore. Don't think too hard during this exercise. Just write down whatever comes to your mind and don't talk yourself out of what you love. Only YOU know what you are passionate about and it's OK to feel the way you do!

· Research your top 5 passions. Get on the internet and search those 5 areas that you are the most passionate about and see what comes up. Go to the library and check out books on each of those topics. Look in the phone book to see if there are lessons you can take, etc.

· Choose one area to pursue RIGHT NOW! Why wait?? On a piece of paper in big, bold letters, write down what you want to pursue and make a goal to do three things a day to move toward your goal. It doesn't matter if the goal seems too big to achieve today. Remember that the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. I decided that I wanted to start my own internet business where I could help other moms find their own lives and also financial freedom.

· Share your goal with someone who will be supportive. Just as Matthew 7:6 says, "Don't give that which is holy to the dogs, neither throw your pearls before the pigs, lest perhaps they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." Make sure you don't share your new, tender goal and pursuit of a fulfilled life with those in your family and friends who might trample and belittle your goal. There will always be dream crushers in our lives and you need to stay far away from those people at this time. I have a dear friend who cheers for me no matter what I'm doing. I told her about my desire to start a business. She not only cheered for me, she hosted my first candle party!

· Reward yourself often. As you achieve small milestones, make sure you reward yourself. I told myself that when my business reached a certain level that I would buy myself a new wedding ring. My first wedding ring was broken because of all the weight gain during my pregnancies and I hadn't had a ring for over 5 years. I deserved a ring and so when I reached my goal, I went into the jewelry store and picked out my favorite ring and walked out with my reward to myself shining on my finger!! It was also Valentine's Day. What a perfect day to tell myself, "Job well done, Kari!" Every time I look at that beautiful ring on my finger, I smile because I know that I worked hard and made a difference to many to earn that reward.

· Start the process again! You don't need to stop after achieving your first goal. Look at your List of Passions again, add to it and pick a new pursuit! I enjoy motivational speaking and sharing what I've learned to help others. So one of my new goals that I set last spring is to speak at conferences all over the country. Since then, I have spoken in Pennsylvania, Kansas, Las Vegas and Cleveland. I use humor to help others see their own potential and learn how to be successful. I never even dared to dream that I could do something like that until I set out to GET A LIFE!

So what are you waiting for? Take the steps TODAY to get a life and if you need any help, contact me! I would love to help you! That's how I found my life by helping others find theirs!

Visit Kari Andersen at www.kari-andersen.com

For anyone who knows me, one of my passions is great fiction.  I love to read.  My very first job was working in a Christian bookstore called The Parable.  It was a "heavenly" job.... a dream job being surrounded by books. 

When I find a good book with a great author, my world shifts slightly as I seek out anything he/she has written.

Because my mission as a work-at-home mom is to help other moms find a way to stay home with their babies and make a fun and financially-free lifestyle for themselves, I meet people at "mom" forums all over the internet.  

I had posted an article on cafemom about my struggle with depression and my search to get a life... the article was called "MOM! Get a Life."  

Shortly after that, I received a really nice email and this is what it said:

Hi Kari,

 I used to be a jr high school teacher but am now a work at home mom, too, but you and I do very different things.  :) 

However, I love what you posted on one of the mom's pages, about "Get A Life".  You were so warm and elegant and succinct.  It was fantastic.   I also do a lot of speaking, and am in fact about to jump on a plane to Reno where I'm speaking at the Nevada Women's Expo, and I just wanted you to know that you're doing good in the world.  Keep sharing that message.  Continue inspiring women.  I started crashing around 38/39, too, which led to my bestselling novel, "Flirting with Forty", which Sony is now developing into a movie for Lifetime.  Somehow I found away to turn heartbreak into something positive but it still hurt.  Nothing like putting metal to fire to make it strong.

Anyway, just wanted to say good job and well done.  I applaud you.

Jane

www.janeporter.com

Well, at first I just didn't believe this Jane Porter chick and thought it was just some kind of joke... why would a best-selling author contact me.  They are like movie stars to me... don't mess with me on this, I was thinking.

So I did some research and sure enough, she was legit!!  So I immediately went online and put her book, Flirting with Forty, on hold at the library and picked it up asap. 

I was floored!!!  I found myself relating to the characters and LOVING the story.  I was hooked!!  Remember, good fiction is my passion and here was a new author that wrote really, really well.

So I wrote her back and shared my excitement with her.  She was so sweet and wrote me back.  She also said that she wanted to send me one of her other books, The Frog Prince. 

How exciting to get an autographed copy of one of her books!!!   It was also a great read and the friendship continued to grow as we emailed back and forth about the stories.

I then realized that I wanted to reciprocate and sent her a care package of candles which included the best selling scent, Sex on the Beach.  She was in the middle of writing her latest Harlequin Presents novel and it was the perfect candle to inspire her! LOL!!

She loved the candles and was wonderful about promoting me on her site and when Odd Mom Out came out in September, I really promoted her on the forums that I participate in.  It was a really cool cyber-friendship. 

Then one day she said she wanted to come to Montana to meet me and my very cool friends who have all become her friends on myspace.  So we set it up and it all seemed just so normal.  She even asked if she could stay at my house.  No biggie.  She's one of my dearest friends now... on the internet.

Well, the day arrived, November 8th, and we were all ready with a clean house and plans in place.  Then the nerves settled in and I realized that I was going to meet best selling author Jane Porter and she was going to sleep in my house!!!!! ahhhhhh!!!

To really get the best re-telling of our meeting at the airport, you have to read Jane's blog.  She is a writer and tells the story to the tee!!!  It happened exactly that way.

After our meeting at the airport, it was off for her to sign books at Bozeman's Barnes & Noble and Borders.  They recognized her at Borders and that was really cool.   In B&N, they laughed at us because we were being so silly when the reality of our meeting finally set in.

We went home to get Collin, my husband, and my kids.  My son and daughter were waiting out in the street running towards us.  They were so excited to finally meet the lady that they had to clean the house so perfectly for!  She didn't disappoint.  She was so kind and sweet to them. 

The house was spotless!  My husband had cleaned up so the place just looked great... garage and all!  Thank you, Honey!  You blessed me more than you know!

Then it was off to Happy Hour at my grandma's condo.  For as long as I can remember, my grandparents have hosted what they call Happy Hour in their home from 4:30 to 5:30 each day.  Whoever can make it will show up for an hour of visiting over a glass of wine, beer or root beer for the kids.  Doritos are always served, too!

The condo was packed on this day with my dad, uncles, friends and  Lori Dawkins even showed up to join us for a glass of wine.  Jane was a wonderful guest and just rolled with it.  My grandma was so thrilled to have an author in her home because she also is passionate about fiction.  What a treat for a very special 86 year old woman!!

The doorbell rang and we were greeted by a very handsome man in a suit.  He said he was our driver for the evening!! ha!  It was former NFL player for the NY Jets, Dale Dawkins, who is also Lori Dawkins husband.  LOL!!!  He had their Cadillac Escalade all shined up and running in the drive-way to be our escort.

Dale Dawkins - our driver, Jane Porter, Lori Dawkins

He dropped us off at Plonk where we met friends that came all the way from Billings to have dinner with Jane Porter.  That was so fun and Plonk Cosmos were the drink of choice there.  What a fun and trendy place that is!

Jane, Cheryl Hill  and me

So then it was off to dinner just a half a block away at Looie's Down Under in Downtown Bozeman.  Jane brought goodie bags for all the diners and signed books for those that brought their copies with them. 

 

It was almost 4 hours of eating, laughing and listening to Jane tell us the background scoops and inspirations for her novels.  We were riveted by her wisdom and vulnerability.  She is as genuine in person as the characters she creates in her books.

Dani Scott, Lisa Pierson, Mariah Allen, Cheryl Hill, Jane Porter, Buffy Stiles, Kari Andersen, Lori Dawkins

How many of you have a most embarrassing moment? Let me share mine...

When I was about 7 years old, we lived in a little micro-town wheat farming community up in NE Montana named Scobey. Well, one night my family went out to dinner with relatives at a little bar/restaurant down the road at a place called Four Buttes.

When we were there, my little brother who was 5 years old had to go to the bathroom so my mom asked me to take him. Since he was a boy, I figured that I should take him into the Boy's Bathroom. It was a small bathroom with just one stall and no one was in there at the time. I noticed that my brother was not going into the stall but wanted to go pee in the sink. What a dork! I made him use the stall.

I was very intrigued with that "sink" however. I had never seen such a low sink and felt lucky that they installed "kids" sinks in there so I proceeded to wash my hands. I turned on the water and it just kind of ran down the back of the basin. Where was the faucet? So in order to get my hands wet, I had to run my hands against the back of the basin. Then I noticed that the bar of soap was sitting in the drain so I picked it up but it didn't produce much of a lather and it didn't really smell like soap.

By that time, my brother was finishing up. Also, at that time, the door of the restroom opened up and a big old cowboy walked in and he looked at me with astonishment in his eyes and said, "Little lady! What are you doing in the men's room and why do you have your hands in the urinal??"

At that moment, I wished that I could disappear or at the least Become Another Person.

I hated chores when I was growing up and I still can't stand the smell of Pledge because of the amount of dusting I did from age 9 on up!  My mom had a house full of gorgeous Ethan Allen furniture that she wanted me to dust twice a week.

And she was an excellent cook and baker, something I did NOT learn from her... but I did learn how to clean a kitchen and do dishes because she was the messiest cook ever.  So she made masterpieces and I cleaned up after her! ha!

But now that I'm a parent of almost 12, 10 and 8 year olds, I LOVE chores!!  What a brilliant concept!!

I have a white board hanging in my laundry room with a list of all their daily chores.  I also have special WED chores written in, too, for those chores that are only for once a week.

 

When they get up each day, they can read, watch TV, play gameboy or video games and go outside until 11am.  But then chores have to be completed before doing any other playing. 

Today they wanted to ride their bikes over to the school and have a picnic.  "Great!  Get your chores done and you can do that!"  Off they scramble to get the chores finished and out of the way so they can play and enjoy the rest of the day!

I work one business and a job from my home and this helps me so much.  I am very grateful for their help and they are learning valuable life skills and responsibilty by pitching in.  We do not give an allowance as we feel that they are a part of this family and everyone should do their part.  We reward them by taking them to the movies or buying them a Webkins now and then. 

Kari Andersen

www.MomDadCandleBusiness.com

www.Biz4Kidz.com