Make a Man Happy!

Many women think the thing to do to make him happy is to give more. They ask, what can I give that would make him happy. If you want to give to your man, that's all fine and well. I am not saying by any standards that you should be a selfish woman and sit back and let him do all of the work in a relationship. There are two things that you can give to your man that will make a huge impact though. Acceptance and appreciation. If you really want to know how to make your man happy, these two things are the key to it all. Men need these along with the need to feel trusted. It's critical to a healthy happy relationship.

Often what happens in a relationship over time is the man stops doing the things he did in the beginning. Many think this is because he gets comfortable. I call BS on this one. What is the saying about an ounce of prevention. Appreciation is huge here. It's an essential relationship skill. Many get caught up in what he is not doing. He no longer texts that he is thinking of you like he used to. He doesn't show the attention like he did in the beginning. My question is did you show him how much you appreciated him or did you give more and think that showed him? Let's say he texts you "Thinking of you" Do you text back "thinking of you too" or some other compliment of the same nature, or do you text him back "I love it when you send me these texts, it makes me smile or it makes me feel __________________. The answer is the later. That's how you keep him doing it. Reward his efforts not his words.

This is a difficult mindset for many to comprehend. We as women and caregivers of our children are natural nurturers. That's fine for your children, but doesn't always work so well in a romantic relationship. Fawn and dote all over him and in time, he will see you like his mother, not his lover. Men don't desire their mothers for the record.

Acceptance is the other thing you can give him. If you criticize him, he won't feel very accepted. Men take criticism as you trying to change them. One of their biggest fears aside from you becoming a drama queen or loss of his freedom.

I often tell my guy, "You are the man". Follow it with a kiss on the face and it's even more powerful. Rewarding a man's efforts with appreciation is the key to making him feel like a man. If you can make a man feel like a man, chances are good he is going to absolutely adore you. It won't mater if you are wearing a potato sack.

My girlfriend Sue's husband gets up and cooks her breakfast every single day. Even if he is off he will rise at the crack of dawn and head for the kitchen. This is after he has fed all the animals by the way. He doesn't do this out of obligation, he does it because she has shown him over the years appreciation for his efforts. She kisses him on the cheek and says to him "thank you sweetie for cooking me breakfast, it makes me feel so loved". She may even tell him how much better it makes her day on occasion. If he gets sick, when he is better she tells him how much she missed it. You can bet this man will not ever stop cooking her breakfast. He feels like the man and he does it proudly and not out of obligation or because she nagged. The best part, he adores her. How many women are getting up cooking their man breakfast or fixing his lunch? I am not knocking this, but just know there is an option.

My boyfriend has become the official beer keeper in our house. How many women out there are fetching the beer for their boyfriends or husbands. Not this one I can tell you that. I like my beer really really cold. I like to let them sit in the freezer for a few. This means a serious rotation system. I don't like them frozen. When we first started dating, on his best behavior he would always get me my beer and he would rotate them just like I liked. I on occasion will sit on his lap, kiss his face and tell him how much I love not having to keep up with the rotation system. I bump my head often on the freezer when doing this and it's so nice having him do it for me. The result, he is the man. He grew 6 inches taller when I did this. You can bet I won't ever be in charge of this rotation beer thing again. Not to mention, I have never carried the beer in the house because I so appreciate him doing this chore. Come to think of it, I have never even carried the groceries in or taken out the trash. He loves these chores because I let him know how much I love him doing them. The result, he is happy to do for me. He adores me.

Ladies rethink your giving, it's counterproductive to being the woman he adores and never wants to leave.

Bob Grant, one of my favorite relationship authors wrote in his book, The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave this: "No man is a match for a woman who puts her heart first." The thing is, many women are clueless how to put their hearts first. If you put your heart first from the very beginning, you won't be wondering how to make him happy. He will be happy. This applies to when he has crossed a boundary or done something to make you feel not so good.

I have a friend who's husband would make remarks about her housekeeping. He was much neater and organized than she. He would cut her down about it. Instead of putting her heart first, she opted to jump through hoops to become a better house keeper. The resentment set in. They began to argue about it. Had she put her heart first from the start, this could be avoided. Gee honey, obviously I don't put as much of a priority on this as you do, perhaps we can hire a housekeeper if it's that important to you.

Or let's say your man had a really bad day and is being really grumpy to you. Of course you can ignore it and wait until he is in a better mood or you can address it non-confrontational. I choose the later. Wow, I don't really think I did anything to warrant your rudeness, did something happen at work today? He is caught off guard and you are not tolerating his mistreatment. Do this consistently and you will probably rarely be treated rudely.

Putting your heart first means speaking up when something isn't right. Many don't speak up out of fear. Fear he won't like what you say. There are ways to get your point across without nagging or blaming and there lies the key. When speaking up, don't tell him what he did wrong, tell him how it makes you feel instead. When you tell him what he did wrong, he goes on the defense. When you tell him how it made you feel without nagging or blame, he can't really deny you. This earns his respect. A doormat of a woman does not have his respect. Men love the women they can respect.

Further more, when you stand up for yourself in a graceful, non threatening manner, it tells him that you will more than likely be in his corner. You are the type of woman he wants in his corner. This is powerful to a man. It makes him proud.

The most important thing you can know about how to please a man, especially in the bedroom is enthusiasm. So many women bend over backwards trying to make it a one of a kind experience for their man. Many buy all these books with all these crazy techniques that offer how to please a man. The thing is, again what pleases a man in the bedroom is making you happy. If your man doesn't seem to care about your pleasure in the bedroom, may I suggest you have the wrong man. When a man satisfies a woman in bed, it makes him feel like a man. So tell him what you like, give him the tools to make you happy, meaning no faking, but upfront communication. Show and tell so to speak. Also think about porn. I don't suggest this is the way to learn how to please a man, but there is something to be learned here. Notice how the theme of almost every porn flick is a woman having a great time and just loving it. Again this proves my point.

Men also like to know they are desired. This may mean you making the moves at times and not turning him down more than you participate. Sex believe it or not is the biggest way that men express intimacy. When you deny him sex, you deny him this outlet. You deny him that emotional connection that you yourself probably crave.

Of course there are little tricks that men will love, but start with enthusiasm and your own enjoyment. Men want you to want to have sex with them.