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Keeping a Happy Marriage & Avoiding Conflict

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Keeping a Happy Marriage is Not Easy!

Keeping a happy marriage is a difficult thing these days as the constant pressures of modern life seem to derail marital bliss and makes things either boring, unhappy or even worse heading towards divorce!

There are many reasons why happiness in marriage declines as we travel through life. Children for start can take up so much of your time and energy that your relationship with your spouse can suffer. Money problems are also statistically one of the largest causes of marital strife and conflict also while many other small things can build what i call the wall of resentment.

Despite all this bad news, high divorce rates and a constant barrages from the media about miserable couples leading miserable lives this does not have to be the case for you!

Handling Conflict While Keeping a Happy Marriage

One of the sad facts of marriage life is that there WILL be conflict. No matter how well matched we are to our spouse there can always be a multitude of small niggles that can derail keeping a marriage happy and also many large issues too.

It is amazing however that we deal with conflict with our friends and work colleagues all the time and will often do this better than with our husbands or wives! Perhaps we feel more comfortable with our lovers to be rude or disrespectful because we know they love us and we can get away with it whereas at work we can get fired, looked over for promotion and so forth

The problems is that we do not see the consequences of these actions beyond the initial arguments until too late. Each refusal to come to an agreement, each spiteful remark and each unresolved issue puts another brick in the wall of resentment until it grows so high all you can see are the bricks and your lover, your wife or husbands is so obscured behind them that it takes a lot of effort to knock it down.

The only way you can stop this is by handling conflict when it comes up and handling ti well and EARLY.

Make sure you follow a few of these rules whenever arguments crop up:


  • Control Your Temper - even when your partner does not! Anger creates more anger and when the blood is up nothing can be resolved. It is better to walk away and come back later than to explode.
  • Do not Disrespect your spouse - Even when you think they are being studid and disagreeable always maintain the utmost level of respect.
  • Do not use emotional blackmail - Do not use children or threats of leaving or not loving anymore. This will always backfire and is dishonest.
  • Really LISTEN - More on communications in marriage on this lens

Can You Keep a Marriage Happy by Eliminating Conflict?

Being rid of all conflict in a marriage seems like a perfect way to live and many try to have this sort of relationship. I actually disagree with this for a number of reasons, conflict will always be a part of any relationship with anyone for any reason!

You cannot get rid of conflict. There will always be differences of opinion and that is a good thing! If we never challenge each other we never grow as people. The only relationships where this is the case is where one person is totally subservient to the other which is almost like slavery of the mind.

This does not eman you cant minimize conflict and most important you can always leanr to deal with conflict in a way that allows you to discuss things and come out with a better understanding of each other and the world. You just need to change the idea of marital conflict to one of marital challenges and communicate better as you do it.

This may be easier said than done of course and i found it hard to adjust the way i spoke and acted until i found an amazing online resources that taught me huge amounts about myself and my marriage and changed it for the better.

Follow the link to find the secrets of keeping a marriage happy.

Happy Marriage Secrets

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More Squidoo Lenses ...

... by me!

My marriage was on rocky ground with conflict and arguments and unhappiness all around infecting my wife, myself and my children. Then I discovered how I could change all of this and have the happy marriage I truly wanted by adjusting how I approached the entire concept of marriage!

Now I am living the dream if marital bliss and want to share my experiences and lessons learned!
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