Keeping In Touch With Your Ex
Ranked #209 in Relationships & Family, #30,792 overall
It can be a good thing.
In some situations this may be a good idea - depending upon the characteristics of the person you dated - but, in other situations, I think it's pure nonsense.
After all, dating is about getting to know a person and, if you learn that you are not compatible, it should not prevent you from remaining friends.
Let's explore this issue further, shall we?
Photo credit: Joe Orman Shutterace.com
Touchy Contents
- Can Keeping In Touch With Your Ex Be A Good Thing?
- A Few Benefits
- What's Your Opinion?
- Take a deep breath!
- My Personal Belief
- Peace of Mind
- Then Again...
- If You Feel It's A Bad Idea To Keep In Touch With Your Ex (When You Don't Share Children)
- Did You Know...
- For Further Consideration
- Be informed.
- My Other Purple Star Lenses
- The Ex Guestbook
Can Keeping In Touch With Your Ex Be A Good Thing?
If you believe it can be, feel free to add links to support your theory.
Granted, when couples break-up and one person is still deeply attached to the other, it can be difficult to keep in touch until some time has passed. Even then, there are no guarantees. However, when two people decide they can remain friends and leave dating behind, it is a different matter entirely.
Furthermore, when couples have gotten to the stage of creating children together, it is imperative for them to learn to get along - even if they never become best friends.
Talking To Your Ex
Some of the best tips for talking to your ex came from my ex-husband, who was patient enough to educate me on post-divorce communication.0 points
A Few Benefits
of keeping in touch with your ex
I couldn't imagine being good friends with each person I dated - not that there have been a host or throng of potential lifetime mates. However, looking at those men I have dated, there are a select few whom I feel would still be worthy of my time and friendship. After all, we didn't break up because we hated or didn't like each other; life just threw a few curve balls in our direction and circumstances forced us to draw our dating relationship to a close.
Going on that premise alone - that two people can still like and respect each other even after not continuing in a dating relationship - I've listed some benefits to maintaining friendships with these outstanding people who have graced our lives with their presence.
Feel free to add your own ideas but, remember, this is only for the positive side of this debate.
We can still share our burdens with each other.
It is always good to have a listening pair of ears when going through a difficult time. Having a person you can trust - regardless of the past - is imperative.1 point
I'm so excited and I have to share my news!
Life brings you glad tidings on many occasions and, sometimes, the news is too good to keep to yourself. You are bursting to share the news with a few people and decide one of the people you call will be your ex, who will be equally excited. It's great!1 point
Enjoying outings on occasion
Granted, if you are dating another person, he/she may not be comfortable with you having outings with your ex. However, if you are still unattached, take the time to reconnect with your ex. It will help both of you to remain comfortable with each other, regardless of what the future brings into each of your lives.1 point
Honest assessments
When you are seeking a solution to a dilemma you are facing, your ex may shed some new light on the situation. After all, he/she has gotten to know you pretty well and can offer suggestions worthy of your consideration. He/She will also be upfront with you; if you are about to do something crazy, it will be brought to your attention.1 point
The preservation of your child's sanity
Even as an adult, if your parents are continually arguing and fighting with each other, you won't want to spend time around them. However, as an adult, you have a choice; as a child, you don't. Even if you strongly dislike your ex, remember he/she is your child's parent - that cannot be altered or reversed - so you must try your best to get along for the sake of your child.1 point
To resolve any questions
If you experience any degree of doubt as to whether or not you are ready to move on to another relationship, it's best to resolve all feelings for your ex first. You may find your way back to each other but, even if you don't, you need to prevent the possibility of breaking another person's heart because of uncertainty which may arise in the future.1 point
What's Your Opinion?
Is it a good idea to keep in touch with your ex?
It certainly is!
siserou says:
The thing is something drew you to that person in the first place and if that person is fun to be with and enjoys the same things, why not keep a friend?
Candice Hemphill's Ex as of today says:
If she's stupid, she will keep in touch. If she says her ex treated her like crap but suddenly wants to hang out...sounds like a fool. Maybe the two low lifes deserve each other. In that case, it's a good idea because she's telling you (the person she's dating and supposedly in love with) that she's done growing and would like to settle with someone who makes her feel accomplished. A low life. Take the hint and move on for what's waiting that's better for you.
cbessa says:
It depends on context and person. I have ex-girlfriends that i keep touch in a good manner, some more, some less, and there are a few that i don't want too see anymore.
sandyspider says:
It all depends. If you have children, yes! Some people are actually better friends after the divorce.
Brookelorren says:
I don't see why not. Why reduce your pool of friends? It's not like you have to be best buds or anything.
BarbRad says:
I am still in touch with the first person I dated for three years when I was in high school and early college. Both of us married other people and the directions our lives have taken show that it was probably a good thing we never married because we both have changed and gone in very different directions. But each of us also made a positive contribution to each other's lives back then, and he performed the service when my mother died in 2005. We were good friends before we dated, and we have remained friends since them.
Only if you share children.
lisakleinweber says:
hmmm, depends on the character of this ex
Take a deep breath!
Don't let your blood pressure rise
too high from a comment
you're about to read
and, possibly,
comment on!
My Personal Belief
I have always taken a strong stand against jealousy. It's not because I didn't/don't care about my boyfriend/partner. Rather, I've always felt that, if a person I was dating didn't want me, I shouldn't force him (by words and actions) to feel as though he should hold onto me. If he wanted someone else more, I believed he should be willing to tell me and then go on with his life - to find a person more suited to him than I was.
Granted, it would have hurt - especially if I had thought he would be my life partner - but I realized I would hurt more in the long run by continuing to be a part of any relationship in which I wasn't truly wanted/appreciated. However, not many people realize this and they hold onto those they love too tightly, squeezing the life out of their very being.
Share your thoughts about this statement:
"The only reason a person feels jealous is because he/she is insecure in their relationship."
Absolutely right!
If you can't feel secure in a relationship, you may as well not be part of it - unless you are in therapy and working toward the goal of remaining together. It takes a while to rebuild security in that situation.1 point
Peace of Mind
There are ways to keep in touch with your ex without having the world as your judge, jury and executioner - without jeopardizing your life and lifestyle - and it's easier than ever if you keep in touch on-line. There are various on-line chat rooms you can meet up in; however, personally, I would prefer to touch base through Instant Messenger, e-mail or the occasional phone call.
I can't help but think it's unfair that wonderful people should be written out of our lives just because we had the misfortune of dating them in the past. It seems immoral for others to draw their own conclusions without taking time to learn the facts first.
Then Again...
Sometimes people just love to cause trouble for others. Their lives are so miserable, in one way or another, that they can't support people whose lives seem to be going well and will try their best to bring people down. It's still based on insecurity, which can easily lead to jealousy.
Do you think that people who make up rumors about others do so because their own lives are boring?
Yes, they have nothing better to do with their time!
BarbRad says:
A person who is occupied with constructive activities doesn't have time to gossip -- except during breaks. But I'd say that people who start rumors do have something lacking in their own lives -- or characters -- that makes them want to create excitement by stirring up others against each other and then watching the ensuing conflict. I simply don't understand people like that.
No, they are just out to destroy others!
If You Feel It's A Bad Idea To Keep In Touch With Your Ex (When You Don't Share Children)
Please support your theory
Post a link, or two, below to support your belief.
How To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back After She Dumped Me?
Do you still love her like crazy? How to get my ex more...0 points
How To Get Her Back After A Break Up - 5 Steps To Get An Ex Back
'5 Proven steps on how to get her back and never g more...0 points
romantic dating
It's time to join the world best online dating sit more...0 points
Free Relationship Dating
This website is a great place to read about different more...0 points
Did You Know...
For Further Consideration
supplied by Google Search
- Hax: Fiancй is on a 'hamster wheel of jealousy' about an ex
- I just found out an ex of mine will be working in my new office; this ex and I are cordial, but not in touch. I immediately told my fiancé, because there was no reason to hide this from him and hiding it would aggravate his trust issues.
- My ex-husband has banned me from seeing our daughters
- I've grieved for my daughters ever since. We had contact until they were due to marry and I wasn't invited to the weddings. In the meantime, I've recovered and remarried and have two other children. My ex doesn't seem to think I need to have anything ...
- Can You Stop Your Ex-Spouse From Competing Against Your Business?
- By Andrew Garcia While you were married, you and your Ex were running a family business together. You win the business in your divorce, but your Ex now opens a competing business right next door and is siphoning away customers from you.
- Woman wonders if it is OK to date her girlfriend's ex
- When you decide to go after a friend's ex, at best you encounter wounded egos and uncomfortable group encounters. At worst, you totally ruin a friendship. Before you charge ahead, think about your friend and her past with Mr. Man: Was it serious or ...
Be informed.
Regardless of my stand on this issue,
I would like to point out that I would
not keep in touch with an ex if I
thought there was any chance it would
destroy my current relationship.
My Other Purple Star Lenses
June 01, 2010
This lens received a Purple Star!
Here is a link to a list of my other purple star lenses:
The Ex Guestbook
No, the guestbook is not going anywhere.
I would love to hear your comments about this lens. Also, if you would like to add anything not covered here, please feel free to do so.
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NassauDIvorceLawyer
Jan 6, 2012 @ 3:53 pm | delete
- Hey great lens. keep in touch with your ex is a good topic.
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sandyspider
Jun 2, 2010 @ 8:04 am | delete
- Congratulations on your Purple Star!
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BarbRad May 31, 2010 @ 1:13 am | delete
- You've chosen an interesting subject which is bound to get people talking.
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