I tried my best Fighting Deafness

So in many ways I was luckier than many deaf people in that I had a head start as opposed to someone being born deaf.

Once I was out of hospital and had learnt to walk again, it was of primary importance to learn how to lipread.

Without this it is virtually impossible to make any headway within the hearing world or the world at large and was the first step back to fighting my way back into acceptance.

I think it is particularily true for the deaf that this is a never ending fight and this saddens me at the best of times.

First of all my teacher would not teach me until I told her I was dumb which of course I'm not I held out for a while but eventually conceded to her request.

Learning to lip read I found very easy, it's the practice afterwards which is more difficult.

It took about three months and I was done.

Once I had got to know my teacher better,I asked her about the dumb bit and what she said to me was.

Out of all the disabilities,deafness has the least sympathy with Joe Public and she thought the reason for this was, if you close your eyes, you can imagine what it is like to be blind, or if you get pins and needles, or your arm or leg goes to sleep, you can imagine what it is like to be paralysed.

But you cannot put your fingers in your ears and imagine what it is like to be deaf.

She hit the nail on the head absolutely spot on and whats more she was a lovely, kind, patient and caring person, whom I'm forever grateful to.

I often had times to remember her warnings, the classic example being something which happened to me on so many occasions and still happens 36 years later. Often you are waiting somewhere for a friend, could be a bar or similar circumstance and you strike up a conversation with the person next to you who is in the same spot.

With me having spoken to him for 30 minutes solid, I will miss something he says and explain that I'm deaf and reliant on lip reading which can get tiring.

From that moment on they will refuse to talk to me. Eventually the person he's waiting for arrives and I lip read him telling them. You see this guy here ,he can't talk.

This always has infuriated me and invariably, I will clutch my throat, smile and make grunting noises, while they have a good laugh.

Believe me my speech is perfect even after all these years, but I often wonder what it must be like for people born deaf, who have a greater struggle than I do.

Is it really necessary to subject them to this blatant idiocy?

Funnily, the hearing person who does this thinks he's being clever showing off his vast knowledge of the deaf. God help him.

Well, thats one fight over I now know how to lipread. However even though I wanted to be a lawyer and had been accepted at a South African university.

It was a case of do your Army service prior to, or after varsity and I chose the former. Being deaf and being a lawyer is almost certainly not going to work.

However my parents owned a farm and they said I
should go to Agricultural College. I wasn't keen on this but my common sense told me it was better than nothing, so I applied.

In the interim I got a job with the accounts section of The Department of Public Works. I did this as I thought that I would have a better chance of improving my lipreading prior to College in a town, as opposed to being stuck out miles away on a farm in the bush.

College turned me down on the grounds that I did not have the necessary educational qualifications, which was their first mistake. Another fight on the slow road back.

I made an appointment to see the Principal of the College which he acceeded to. In his office after the small talk was out of the way, I showed him his letter of refusal and then took out my qualifications.

I told him that I had already been accepted at a South African University prior to my mishap and that I had 10 times the required qualifications to enter an Agricultural College. So what were the real reasons for refusing me?

Down goes the head, they can't look you in the face, any which way but one, here there and everywhere else.

It is something I have come to love actually, it happens so often, seeing them squirm. However eventualy he managed to look me in the face and said,that they agreed that a deaf boy wouldn't be able to pass the course.

I then asked him,"who they was?"He said himself and the members of his staff. So I asked how had 'they' reached this conclusion? He said that they had had a vote.

So I asked if the vote was close and he said yes, very close. I then asked him if they could vote again?

Two weeks later,I got a letter in the mail saying that I had been accepted at College.

Next the college days. By the way I was elated by their change of heart and was soon to commence one of the happiest periods in my life.

So on to College, which was an experience I often wish I could live through once again. It is best summed up for me by the poet Rod Mc'cuen, think thats his name anyway and I'm trying to memorise this from a long way back, but it went something like,

We had joy,We had fun,
We had seasons in the sun,
But the rythm and the ryhme,
Were but seasons out of time.

Little did I know it at the time but our idlyic little country Rhodesia was on the slow haul of it's demise. Sorry to have to say this but I was so proud to be Rhodesian and I always will be. There.

Apart from all the work we had to do at Gwebi Agricultural College, which included both practical and theory ,there was all the sport, the holidays and the fabulous women.

After I had been there a few months my lip reading teacher wanted to see me, to find out how I was doing. It was next to impossible in those days to get a day of college, so imagine my delight when this was granted, moreover it was an afternoon session but I had the day, yippeee.

Remember I was young once, so foolishly spent a bit of time in the pub prior to seeing my teacher. Once we had got over talking about how I was doing she told me she was worried about me as I was starting to slur my words. I was too gutless and embarrased to tell her the reason why.

Anyway she put me on another course, where they teach you where to put your tongue for all the letters of the alphabet and elsewhere. For example,(what is your tongue doing and where is it for the first "e " in immediately?)

I found lipreading easy but this course extremely difficult, all because I was too much of a coward to tell her I was slurring because I'd had a few jars. In retrospect it was fate because I now believe I still speak so well as a result of her course.

For the life of me I can't remember how long it took. Certainly a lot longer than learning to lip read.

The next crawl back and what I believe truly got me accepted.......CRICKET.

When I was still learning to walk my Dad used to take me to the club to watch the guys at net practice and to get me out of the house and with some company. These were mostly people I knew horrified about my circumstances and deeply concerned. They basically forced me to try and play.

They would throw a ball at me when they were finished and no exageration it was equivalent to teaching a two year old. Later I would take a couple of steps and try and bowl a bit.

Then God delivered and I started getting better and I had always been a good cricketer,but through this process of trying to take a few steps, I now became a good spinner, so I could bat and bowl. What people who know the sport call an all rounder.

The only drawback ,that because of the deafness my balance was bad, so I was a poor fielder in the deep,but ok in the slips etc.

Back to College, the level of education we got then, was second to none. I can honestly say that my diploma is the equivalent of a degree in most countries. Apart from Animal Husbandry, Field Husbandry, Farm Management and Engineering there were all the related topics,to name a few,
Entomology, Botany, Genetics and Surveying.

I'm happy to say I got my diploma and I was the only deaf boy there. I did this lip reading alone and with the help of a few friends who lent me their notes. What a wonderful bunch of guys they were too. Sadly some of my better friends were later killed in the war.

I also went on two cricket tours, one with the College and another with a provincial side, whilst also playing first league cricket for Standard Bank who had 8 Rhodesian players in the side and three of us who didn't make it to the National side.

So between my diploma and high standard of cricket
it was difficult for people not to accept me although that happened regularily, I was able to put them in their place as they couldn't hold a candle to me.

In later years I got married ,had three wonderful children, had my own farm in South Africa and had a Cochlear Ear Implant.

These are another story but at the moment here in Ireland, I'm back to being that dummy, have lost my job on the grounds of being too slow and it is all nonsense, everywhere I turn they bring up my hearing, can't hire you you can't hear the phone etc.

Ja but I can text and I now don't know how to fight this any longer. My youth has gone ,they don't play cricket etc.

Sorry to bore you,

Cheers,
Spook