The Key to Happiness

Dan Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness, has an extremely interesting video on ted.com, talking about the way in which we overestimate the potential impact on our happiness of life events. Specifically, he argues that we tend to overestimate the incremental happiness that certain events (such as winning the lottery) will bring our lives. At the same time, he says that negative events (getting hit by a car) do not have a long-term negative impact on our happiness most of the time. So, if winning the lottery doesn't make you happier, what will?

If Dilbert's argument doesn't quite feel right, it's for a reason. It shouldn't feel right. Our minds are hard-wired to seek happiness by predicting the potential results of our actions. I would argue that the reason that winning the lottery doesn't make you happier is that you didn't earn it. In other words, winning the lottery is something that happens to you, not something that you achieve.

If you want to be happy in life, you will need to stop hoping for the best and start building a future based on your values and skills. When you achieve something, your mind is able to clearly understand the cause and effect relationship between your actions and the corresponding outcomes. As a result, it assigns more "weight" to the result. In addition, since achievements move you closer to your goals and values, they have the potential to impact your long-term happiness.

This topic is way too big to cover in a single article, but, I will give you a few examples of what I am talking about in terms of your career and personal life.

Job vs. Career vs. Vocation - the unfortunate truth is that most of us work for one reason and one reason only - to make money. The problem with working for work's sake is that, most of the time, our jobs do not align with our core values or the direction that we want to take our lives. Careers are better than jobs in that they allow us to look at our work as a continuous process that is helping us to meet our long-term (usually financial) goals.

A vocation is a "calling" to work; it only happens when the outcome of your work supports your core values. To be 100% clear, a calling does not necessarily have anything to do with religion or charity (although it can). Improving the world through art can be a calling. So can being an entrepreneur (see Atlas Shrugged). The point is that, if you want to be happy in the long-term, seek achievements in the areas that align with your values.

Achievement in everyday life - have you ever noticed that everything in everyday life tends to become a utilitarian process? From making breakfast to reading the latest business best-seller, we seldom take the time to achieve in our everyday lives. As a result, our days become a blur of insignificant events, soon forgotten. But, there is a better way; instead of just "doing stuff" every day, why not learn to do a few things well? If you see everything (cooking, reading, sports, etc) as an opportunity to grow and achieve, your happiness will grow with your results. Be curious, seek new experiences, and the world of achievement (and happiness) will open up to you.

Check out these fantastic audio books related to happiness

Identify your values - long-term happiness starts with self-awareness. It is impossible to find your calling in life before you have written down what is important to you. Don't be afraid to be different. Once you identify your values, be proud of them. I'm not suggesting that you should preach your values to others (far from it!). But, you shouldn't be ashamed of your values either. Your values make you who you are. Action: write down the top 5 values that are most important to you. Keep this piece of paper handy and look at it at least once a week to ask yourself whether you are living your values.

Find a vocation, not a job - everyone has financial commitments and there is never a "right time" to look for another job or change career. However, the sooner you make the move to a job that you love (even at a lower salary), the happier you will be. If you can't leave your job now, then look for part-time opportunities to live your dream. Love animals? Consider volunteering at a local zoo. Want to be a writer? Pick up a pen and just start writing. Either way, don't delay. Get out there today and start living your dreams.

Find achievement in everyday life - in reality, you won't always have the time to make everything a learning experience. However, you would be surprised how little time is takes to do something well compared to just doing something. Instead of just cooking the same thing every day, why not learn at least one new recipe a week (make it as exotic as possible!) Don't just read to your kids, make up stories with your kids (and publish them online together). Don't just work out twice a week out of obligation, sign up for a triathlon.

In order to enter the gates of happiness all we need to do is defeat the ogre of fatalism - and the ogre lives in our own minds.