For as many men as there are in relationships there are likely as many reasons as to why men leave a relationship. I don't mean to try and oversimplify this or make light of it but in this article I will discuss a few reasons why men leave a relationship, at least some men that I know. This is not by any means a scientific survey but simply a summary of a conversation that I had with a bunch of my idiot friends. This information is not backed up with any psychological basis or theory. These are just the honest words spoken from the mouths of real guys in real relationships. Take from it what you will.

When one guy in the group made the statement I'm thinking of leaving my girlfriend. Another responds why would you leave that set up? Seems like you've got it made. The conversation starts. So why would he leave a relationship that seems to be going so well? He started rambling on with an answer and not really making any sense at all. Another guy jumps in and says answer the question with the first one or two words that pop into your tiny little brain. So he's asked again and this time he instantly says I'm bored.

We decided to ask that question of everyone in the group with the challenge of stating the first one or two words that came to mind. Here's the responses: I'm bored (2); the thrill is gone (2); I miss the hunt (3); no variety (1); I can do better (2); I want my freedom (1). Looks like a common theme here. The majority of the responses are centered around boredom and routine. It sounds like the excitement has vanished and the relationship has lost its spark.

Our group of guys enhanced on this theme stating that in the initial phases of a relationship there is that excitement of trying to win over the lady. Trying to do anything that you can to make her notice you or express some interest in you. We are out there hunting and we want to capture our prey. There's a certain exhilarating thrill that goes along with that ritual. We want that conquest and it really builds our egos when we make it happen.

So as long as we can keep the thrill of the hunt going we stand a better chance of keeping the relationship alive. Is that what it comes down to? Some of my bozo friends responded with a resounding yes! But how do you keep that feeling as you settle into a relationship and spontaneity is replaced with routine and responsibility? The meeting of the mindless was abruptly adjourned as our wives and girlfriends began to mingle in with us. We would have to solve the world's relationship problems on another day.

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In a recent article I discussed the results of an informal survey of my sample group of guys. The guys were asked to state why they would leave their girlfriends in the first one or two words that popped into their heads. The common theme that came out of their responses was boredom and routine. The excitement had faded and the spontaneity was gone. Why did this happen and could they have done anything about it? I asked this question to our panel of guys to see if they had any wisdom that would enlighten us. Here's a summary of what they said.

First it's important to understand that these feelings the guys are having developed over several weeks if not months or years. They didn't just occur overnight. Guys seemed to feel that there was more excitement early on in the relationship when it was just developing. They remembered the nervous excitement they felt when calling the girl to ask her out. There was still a lot of newness and they were never sure if they were going to get shot down or lifted up. The guys had the challenge of trying to win the girl over; to impress and romance her. Something as simple as her reaction to a different outfit they wore to the more sophisticated fancy dinner and dancing gala event. This was the hunt. This is what kept the adrenaline pumping.

Now as the relationship has developed and the dust settles things become a little more routine. Without a change and some effort on your part then the routine becomes more prominent. Before you know it spontaneity has been replaced with the routine and the expected. The hunt is over and we've got the girl. That thrill is gone. So the guy's thoughts on this were that as the routine set in and the initial phase of excitement dwindled, the routine became more and more apparent. It started to take over so to speak.

Their explanation of why this was bad was that the danger was gone. The risk and spontaneity were gone. There was no chance of being turned down for a date. Your clothes rotation was getting old and you've both seen everything else the other one wears. You start eating at the same restaurants and talking about the same things. You've done the surprise romantic thing and it's getting harder and harder to come up with something to do that has some wow factor. The little habits that each of you has that you once considered cute are now becoming annoying. You're much more comfortable with each other now so you are more likely to criticize and offend the other. The guy's summarized all of this by saying that there was nothing left to conquer. The hunt, the conquest was over. This left them with an empty feeling about the relationship they were in.

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