Why don't abused women just LEAVE?!
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I've heard it so many times.
If a woman (or a man) is being abused by a loved one, why do they not just head for the door?
Take a look at the cycle of abuse to understand why many women become entwined in the cycle and often can't see the seemingly obvious answer to ending abuse.
I believe the abused ...
Are afraid of the abuser following through on threats if they leave
May feel financially or physically unable to make it on their own
Hope their abuser will change and abuse will end, IF they [_______]
May be brainwashed into believing they deserve the abuse
May feel morally/spiritually obligated to remain married, no matter what
YOUR TURN!
Why don't abused women leave?
Fetching blurbs now... please stand byFor some reason, they don't believe they can do it.
Lisa says:
Because she made a covenant, and that meant something to her. She wants to make sure she is doing everything she can before leaving... at least that is how I have felt, up until now.
Posted February 14, 2012
N says:
it may be so subtle that the abused woman may not even be completely aware of what is happening to her.
Posted February 06, 2012
pink floss says:
if these women did leave their husbands and then did put a court order on them, these abusive husband or partners would track them down and the trouble start over and over again. no matter how many time they move. In the long run the abuse one dose not have the money to run or get out of the situation. They are simply scarred of what the other person will do to her or the people she loves how helps her get out.
Posted February 02, 2012
srioschavez says:
alot of women dont and i am absolutely possitive that you cannot force them to leave they will not leave untill they have had enough sadly some never do.
Posted November 22, 2011
tdogart1 says:
I used to always say that about other women in relationships such as these...until I myself got into the situation. When the shoe is on the other foot, you don't think that way. I was abused physically, mentally and emotionally by my ex-husband.
When you have someone as I use to be with low self-esteem you'll , never find better. Well thank God after coming to almost giving up naturally I chose (which is the key) to leave and divorce him.
But good lens.
Posted November 13, 2011
kat says:
I used to ask myself that question until it happened to me.
Because the other partner keeps their bank cards, documentation and money from them. In some cases it is impossible to leave simply because in legal terms you would not exist! And because literally they have no place to go and no money to get to safety.
It is absolute BS to say that abused women are able to leave whenever they damn well please. For a start, the year after leaving you are statistically likely be in MORE danger, not less. Society teaches us that women being abused are somehow defective and weak, we therefore ask the question "Why is she allowing this to happen?" instead of "Why is HE screwing up his marriage?"
Posted November 04, 2011
Crystal says:
they are afraid of what might happen if they do they and they dont want to leave their partner because they love them or maybe just because they dont want to be alone and are just putting up with it
Posted October 21, 2011
Francina Ramakewana says:
I say that some woman depend on thier lovers even they are abused they don't feel anything from that. Some woman are maddly inlove with their lovers and to them it becomes difficult for them to just LEAVE athers are really forced to bce in a relationship that they don't like and end up in an unexpected death.
Posted August 17, 2011
Stellar says:
I am being abused myself and I can't leave my boyfriend because I love him so much. It is hurting me everyday when he does that but I can't do anything about it. Everytime I try to leave him, I miss him. And I don't even understand why. What is wrong with me?
Posted May 29, 2011
marie says:
Arraid of not making it of starting over of hurting my kids although truely there hurt already just feel frozen in fear and cant seem to let go
Posted March 27, 2011
Lia says:
I don't really agree with either. But I hate it. Both parties. Unless you are physically restrained there are ALWAYS options. Always shelters, friends, family, police. IT WONT CHANGE. Get a clue. It's pathetic. Women (especially those with children) shouldn't allow themselves to be put in such a position. Grow up and take charge.
Posted March 18, 2011
heru says:
They are attached and choose fear over love, even when shown true love they let their fear will overwhelm it making up excuses. In order for the abuse to end, they have to hit bottom and admit there was a problem, like a heroin addict, they feel the need to deserve pain that only ends when they are faced with abuse that leads them to fear the unknown less than their fear of being alone, which is a woman's worst fear.
Posted March 17, 2011
SarahJae says:
As someone who has gone through extreme abuse with her boyfriend, I believe women may not leave their abusive loved ones because they were once these great men but have transformed into demons. Women, such as myself, believe that somewhere in there, the amazing beautiful men they fell in love with are still there and are able to come back with the right motivation. I consider the abusive behavior to be almost like a disease that has yet to have found a cure.. and I refuse to give up on someone that can possibly become better.
Posted January 28, 2011
HannahNow says:
As a retired child and family counselor all I can say it's an extremely complicated situation. Did you know the around 5,000 women die each year at the hands of the man they love. 75% of the death occurs after the women deicdes to leave, or actually leaves. The leaving heightens the abuser's anger greatly. Unfortuntaley, in most cases it's not just a question asked about why women dont' leave it's usually a judgment. Other women are an abused woman's worst enemy next to the abuser. Thanks for covering this topic!
Posted January 18, 2011
heaven says:
havent found thier inner selves and what they truly want in life
Posted January 10, 2011
Renee says:
low self esteem
Posted December 27, 2010
K says:
Many won't leave because the children or fear that they won't find anyone else and will be alone.
Posted November 19, 2010
free woman says:
They don't believe that what they are going through is abuse.
Posted October 04, 2010
Yvonne says:
One becomes paralyzed into thinking you need the abuser, you can;t function without them when in fact if you don't leave you will become an invilent and die a slow deaf.
Posted September 28, 2010
They like the abuse. They deserve it.
aunt nancy says:
I have argued with my husband and when I see that it is elevating to the point of violence I stop . I have seen those that keep taunting and then i believe they want to be hit.
Posted February 11, 2012
tee says:
because they feel emotionally attached to their partner .. and they think they're the reason that the abuse started in the 1st place..........
Posted May 22, 2011
spells says:
most of them desevre what they get they know that thats why they stay they need t respect the man and stop running off at the bi mouth sometimes
Posted November 04, 2009
sdb93 says:
They believe that they deserve everything that they get.
along with the physical problems it causes, it also really is a mental sickness.
Posted July 12, 2009
dbouy says:
they're dumb n stupid
Posted February 27, 2009
you love it says:
some women get wet at the thought of getting dominated , but it goes to far ,and unlike sado masochism there is no safe word to make things stop , the feminist religion will keep this truth away from you , but iv seen battered women get out of one dysfunctional relationship only to choose another
Posted January 21, 2009
Amanda says:
they may not see it because their spouse or significant other may be telling them the love them and wont do it again. Always a repetative cycle. hurt you and get back into your good graces.
Posted March 07, 2008
My opinion
I've heard so many stories of women who left going back to their abuser ... it is so sad. The threat of what will happen to them, or their children or family or even pets, will keep many abused women stuck in the cycle. In the news, we hear of women being beaten and killed by ex-boyfriends and estranged husbands ... that's why the threats work.
Considering the statistics that show many abused women who leave ultimately end up in another abusive relationship -- maybe some women do not leave because they think the next guy might be worse than the one they're with.
A sad thought; but when you're beaten down, that may seem logical.
You can only see clearly from the outside.
Do you believe that I have heard people say, "IF SHE STAYS WITH HIM, SHE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED AGAIN"? Why do we blame the victim when a crime occurs?
If you suspect someone is being abused, reach out to them. One person offering encouragement may be all it takes to help someone break the cycle.
You have no idea what a truly abusive relationship is like if you haven't been in one; it is nearly impossible to describe how literally TRAPPED even smart, strong women become.
You believe you DESERVE every "blow" -- whether mental, verbal, physical, emotional or spiritual.
You'll ignore the good advice of dozens of people who care and try to help. You'll make excuses.
Worse, you'll BELIEVE things will change... as if you have ANY power to control that.
You can only see clearly from the outside.
HELP ME PROVE MY POINT
If you agree, add links (proof!) that help me make my case
Add a link that makes my case.
Barriers to Leaving
1 point
Why Do We Stay?
1 point
Domestic Abuse Awareness
Resources and information for battered women and t more...1 point
Why Women Stay
0 points
startle the echoes ยป why abused women go back
Take me out of that little box you're gonna put me more...0 points
Why Don't They Just Leave?
0 points
Why do women stay? Why don't they leave?
There are many reasons women stay in abusive relat more...0 points
Why women don't leave
Stop Domestic Violence. A site on abusive and viol more...0 points
Why Don't Men Get Help?
Battered men - Why don't men get help? A therapist more...0 points
"Why doesn't she leave?"
0 points
You should read this.
DISPROVE MY POINT (fine, be that way)
Disagree? Put your money where your mouth is and show us why.
Post links that point out why you think I'm wrong.
Why does abuse happen?
Social attitudes play a big role in allowing abuse more...1 point
Take a look at these too.
VERBAL ABUSE
Defend a woman's right to be free from verbal abuse.
Verbal Abuse Awareness: Proceeds from the sale of items in this shop are donated to a local battered women's shelter. If you are being abused, there is help. Stop verbal, mental and emotional abuse!
VAA Jr. Jersey T-Shirt
Verbal Abuse Awareness: Proceeds from the sale of items in this shop are donated to a local battered women's shelter. If you are being abused, there is help. Stop verbal, mental and emotional abuse!
Price:
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VAA Hooded Sweatshirt
Verbal Abuse Awareness: Proceeds from the sale of items in this shop are donated to a local battered women's shelter. If you are being abused, there is help. Stop verbal, mental and emotional abuse!
Price:
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VAA Rectangle Sticker
Verbal Abuse Awareness: Proceeds from the sale of items in this shop are donated to a local battered women's shelter. If you are being abused, there is help. Stop verbal, mental and emotional abuse!
Price:
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