NU Confidential 2:2- NU Law Strategic Plan

Northwestern Law's Wigmore Follies 2007 I want to tell you all about the NU law strategic plan I know you're skeptical but after this I hope you'll understand We have a guiding principle that tells us which way we should choose: whatever gets our rank from twelve to ten within the U.S. News. [whatever gets our rank from twelve to ten within the U.S. News] First, we'll raise tuition to 120 grand, plus fees and then make sure the school is 98 percent minorities. We'll outsource all our classes to the Kellogg School of Management Then Yale will ask itself where its competitive advantage went. [Then Yale will ask itself where its competitive advantage went.] I'll raise money by stamping buildings with the Nike "swish" and then I'll build an underwater classroom offshore in Lake Michigan. Eliminating competition might help us to raise more funds so I'll destroy Loyola and U of C with a laser gun. [He will destroy Loyola and U of C with a laser gun] That's all well and good, van Zandt but we need greater gratitude— my firm would like more students who don't give us any attitude. Northwestern grads do research well and get the answers all correct but overall they seem to graduate with too much self-respect. [Associates bill way more hours when they have no self-respect.] Let me make this clear—I have no wish to be at all quixot- ic. Please make all your students less well-rounded and much more robot- ic. Practice has evolved and law school needs to keep evolving more to send unwitting young associates through our revolving door. [They'll never know what hit them as they go through our revolving door.]

Runtime: 6:25 | 845 views | 0 Comments