Lessons From My Dog

Turbo is a resue dog. He came into my life during a rough time of divorce and not too long after losing my first dog. He is part Golden Retriever and part Chow-Chow, a wonderful combination because he has the sweet personality of the Retriever and the protective nature of the Chow. He weighs in between 70 and 80 pounds, so to some, he is a big dog; to me, he's simply my baby.

When I got him, Turbo had been in foster care for ten months. There was some question about him being aggressive with small animals (read, cats), and they weren't sure how he would do with children. That made it tough for him to find a forever home. He also looked exactly like my other dog and so it seemed he was meant to find his forever home in my house.

He is a beautiful dog and has brought much to my life. He's been a constant companion, a great protector, and the source of much laughter and joy. At the same time, he's been a teacher. Animals are great for that.

When I first got Turbo, we lived in North Carolina. The house had a huge backyard with lots of room for him to run. There were also two good sized storage sheds that were set up on blocks to protect the grass.

We also had a rabbit who lived in the backyard. She was not a pet rabbit, just a rabbit who had decided that was where she would live. And she loved to tease the dog! The yard was elevated halfway out by a concrete wall with steps. She would sit on the top of the wall right across from the back door and just wait. As soon as Turbo got to the door where he could see her, she would just walk back and forth across the wall. This of course, made him beg to go out. He was determined he would catch that rabbit!

Almost daily, the chase was on. The minute she heard the door opening, the rabbit was off, with Turbo in hot pursuit. He would even try to chase her under the storage sheds, although he didn't fit and on rainy days he came back all covered in mud. But he never gave up. He always believed he would catch that rabbit!

Isn't life like that? We can never give up. No matter what our dreams, no matter how many times we may fail, the only real failure is in giving up. Sometimes it seems it would just be easier to forget about it, find a new dream, or just stop all together. Watching Turbo was a great reminder for me that "never give up" should be our mantra in life, even when the rainstorms come, and even if we get muddy in the process.

Turbo loves unconditionally. It doesn't matter how long it's been since I have been home, when I walk in the door it's as if it were just an hour or two since I left. He is always glad to see me, he always greets me with excitement, and I always get kisses.

Turbo doesn't really expect a lot from me, as a human. He simply expects I will feed him, let him out when he asks, and take care of him. In return, I have his unconditional love and protection. What an awesome thing. Okay, he does expect I will take him for rides in the car, but that's part of taking care of him.

What he does not expect is that I will be anything but the human who loves him. He doesn't expect me to dig for bones in the yard, he doesn't expect me to be anyone different than the person I was when he came into my life. And for that, simply, he loves me.

Even when he doesn't get all of the attention he wants, his love is ever present. When my mother died a few years ago, Turbo was there. He somehow knew I was sad and he just stuck close. He would lay on the couch with his head in my lap and just let me pet him. He was simply, there.

At the same time, I don't expect Turbo to be anything other than what he is. While he is certainly my baby, he's a dog. I don't expect him to be a human and I don't expect him to do human things. If he digs a hole in the yard, well, he's a dog. If he gets in the garbage (which he rarely does), well, he's a dog. That doesn't change my love for him. It is unconditional.

What if we treated those with love with that same unconditional love? Let's face it, humans mess up. It's just a part of life. And yet sometimes we withhold our love and affection when someone important to us has messed up. How often do you hear "I thought he/she would change!" Just like Turbo will never be a human, that person in our life won't change either. And if we love them, it should be unconditional. Just imagine how the relationships in your life will change!

Turbo is by nature a protector. He takes care of being the watchdog of the house, always alerting me if someone is approaching the house.

We had a scare one night. It was about 3 in the morning and I heard Turbo from the bathroom connected to my bedroom. it was a low, gutteral growl and one that clearly meant business. I quietly called his name, and he took off running for the front door, barking at the top of his lungs. Anyone who heard that bark from outside the house would clearly know he was determined that they were not coming in the house. As he got to the front door, I heard the screen door slam. Looking out a window, I saw a person running across the street, hop in a van, and drive away. There is no doubt in my mind that Turbo stopped that person from coming in our home that night.

My grandmother came to live with us for awhile. She and Turbo became great friends. It was amazing to watch how he adjusted to having another person in the house. He would often go into her room at night before we went to bed and just go to the bed to check on her. She said it was as if he were just checking to be sure she was okay. His sleeping place also changed when Gram came to live with us. Before that, he had always slept on my bed. When Gram moved in, Turbo moved as well. He slept in the hallway between our two rooms, and between us and the front door of the house. He was simply being the great protector for the ladies in the house.

Two years ago, my job took me out of the country to Barbados to live for awhile. I checked into the requirements to bring Turbo to Barbados with me--six months of quarantine in the UK before he could enter the country. Words cannot explain the heartwrenching decision I had about my baby and what to do. The job opportunity was a great one and because of my position in the company, it was a way to help the company grow. And yet, I could not think about not having my beloved dog. Fortunately, Turbo's uncle, my brother, agreed to take him while I am in Barbados. They have made great friends, Turbo is his Starbucks buddy every day, and they often go on those long rides in the car together. Turbo is blessed by this and so am I. He gets to stay with his uncle, who loves him, and I am blessed that my brother cared enough about my family that he was willing to provide a temporary home.

Our families should be the most important thing to us. It's easy to get sidetracked and forget that. We all get busy, work keeps us running in way too many directions, and we forget to take the time and appreciate those who love and care about us. It is often those most important to us that we tend to neglect when life gets hectic. It shouldn't be that way and we should remind ourselves daily of just how important they are. Here's a picture of Turbo and his uncle, my wonderful brother, Michael.

Because I work at home, it is often easy to find myself at the end of a very long day, still at the computer, and not having stopped all day. Not a healthy way to live and enjoy life.

When I watch Turbo, what I see is that he always takes time to relax, to enjoy whatever it is about his day. For him, it doesn't matter if he is laying in the backyard relaxing, chasing that rabbit, going for a walk, or going for a ride in the car. There is a break in the day.

He's also a funny dog and taught me the value of laughter every day. Whether it's just his normal every day antics of chasing something, getting stuck somewhere, or just how he begs for something like his treats, he makes me laugh. At some point I realized that it was often Turbo who made me laugh every day. People would tell me they wouldn't have a dog, too much work, too much trouble, what if you go out of town, etc., and my response has always been the same: He makes me laugh every day.

Much has been written about the health values to laughter in our lives. It activates our immune system, decreases stress hormones, exercises muscles, and in general makes us feel better. Now that I live far away from Turbo, I have been known to call him on the phone, ask my brother to put the phone out for him, and I talk to him. He knows it's "Mom" and my brother is great about describing his quest to find me in the phone. Even then, he makes me laugh.

Find something every day to stop and enjoy. Have fun. Work should be fun, and it shouldn't be all that life is about. No matter what it is you enjoy, take some time every single day to do it. And remember, laugh!

When Turbo went to live with my brother in Colorado, my brother's son had a dog who also lived there. Ollie is a white German Shepherd and after a few days of getting acquainted, they became friends. They chased each other in the yard, they took walks together, they wrestled for rawhide bones, and they shared (sometimes) each other's food. And sometimes, they would just lie on the floor and "be."

Friends come in all kinds of variety. We have friends who are confidantes when we are mulling something over in life. We have friends we go out and have fun with. We have friends who act as mentors in our professional lives. Sometimes our friends are in person, sometimes they are miles away, sometimes they are online.

The best friend, to me, is one with whom you can simply "be." No need to talk, no need to be busy doing, but you can just be. It's the friend who will go to the beach and just sit by the water and watch it, no conversation necessary. It's the friend who, when invited over, doesn't always say "ok, what are we going to do?" It's the friend who understands that sometimes it's okay to be together and still be silent.

Treasure your friends, and make the kind with whom you can just be.

From the day I picked him up from his foster home, Turbo has been a great presence in my life. He has always been thankful. How do I know that? His kisses, his hugs (yes, a dog can hug, he just snuggles into my neck and I know I've been hugged), and he faithfulness.

I've learned in life to be thankful for the things and people I have in my life. Too often we can focus on what we don't have or how we wish things were. That's a lot of wasted energy on something that's negative. Instead i choose to focus on the positive, and be thankful for what I do have.

Take a few minutes every day to be thankful for what you have in your life. Not just the things, but the people, the experiences, life in general. It makes all the difference.