Who is Lewis Grizzard, My Favorite Comedian

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Memories of Lewis Grizzard

Lewis Grizzard was a funny funny man - a favorite southern comedian! Some years before Lewis Grizzard became famous, my sister, Betty, who lives in Georgia Bulldog country, would send us copies of his newspaper column. We loved those little columns and continued to follow his career from the very beginning!

Later, we bought his books, read, and laughed till we cried. Lewis was just naturally a very funny man! His book titles were often as funny as his stand-up routine. I remember reading
"They Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat". This was about his heart surgery -- and yet it was hilarious!

I remember "If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground" and "Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes" and "If Love Was Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low".

If you enjoy humorous writers, you just gotta read Lewis Grizzard! And for sure, you must watch at least one of the videos on this page.

All Lewis Quotes on this page are fromThe Anti-Orange Page

Lewis on Death

"I don't have any out-of-body experiences. I had indeed seen a bright, beautiful light and had followed it, but it turned out to be a Kmart tire sale."

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Don't Believe I'Da Told That

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Lewis quotes about Food

"If you eat something, but no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories."

"If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner."

"Never order barbeque in a place that also serves quiche."

"My favorite meal is country fried steak smothered in sawmill gravy, creamed potatoes, butter beans, squash, spring onions, thinly sliced tomatoes, and unsweetened ice tea."

"The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards."

"There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago."

Lewis Grizzard - Southern Language

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Favorite Lewis Quotes About Women

"I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them."

"I don't think I'll get married again. Every five years or so, I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."

"Women who drink white wine either want to get married, sell you a piece of real estate, or redecorate your house. Either way, it's expensive."

Official Website - Lewis Grizzard

From the Lewis Grizzard website:
The 1980's and early 1990's were the glory years of Lewis Grizzard Enterprises. He became a business, and things got, he would later admit, "a little crazy." It was a wild ride, but Lewis' particular genius was that he always took his readers along. Sure, he was famous, but he was also the friend in the paper each morning. He let us in on the joke of celebrity. He sat with Johnny Carson ("Johnny wears a lot of makeup."). He acted with Delta Burke ("she don't sweat much for a fat girl..."). He did "Larry King Live," "Designing Women," "Tonight," "Today," "Tomorrow." He was everywhere, even in his own TV special, "Love, Sex, and Romance." Steve Enoch tells how Lewis, at the height of his reign as a cultural phenomenon, was approached by Hollywood executives to be a regular in a sitcom. "We need someone very Southern" they had said. So he and Grizzard flew to L.A. and power-brunched and met the TV guys. They called back. "Sorry, but Lewis is TOO Southern," they said. The column wrote itself that day. "Too Southern?" Lewis wrote with mock indignation, "Why, that's an oxymoron. There's no such thing as being "TOO Southern."
Lewis Grizzard
Offers updated columns, personal photos, biography, and merchandise for this Southern icon. Managed by the Lewis Grizzard Estate.

Lewis Grizzard - Yankees

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My Favorite Lewis Grizzard Quotes

"Why do service stations lock the bathroom door but leave the cash register unlocked?"

Lewis' advice to Atlantans in case of nuclear war: "If you live on the South side of Atlanta, get on I-75 and go south. If you live of the North side of Atlanta get on I-75 and go north. If you are a Yankee get on 285." (Note to all you Yankees -- I-285 is a continuous loop around the city)

"God talks like we do." (In reference to Southern accents)

"In the south there's a difference between 'Naked' and 'Nekkid.' 'Naked' means you don't have any clothes on. Nekkid' means you don't have any clothes on ... and you're up to somethin!"

"A dawg is a Southern man's best friend."

"You can't perfume a hog."

Have you read any of Lewis Grizzard's books? Were you lucky enough to see him in person?

What is your favorite Lewis Grizzard quote?

Just one more quote:
Grizzard: I am the only person in the history of Moreland, Georgia to ever be on the New York Times Best Seller List. I'm the only person in the history of Moreland, Georgia who ever heard of the New York Times Best Seller List.

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Joan4

I think I read every one of Lewis Grizzard's books - and some of them twice! But seeing him on stage in Charlotte NC with two dear friends was a big... more »

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