Funny Things People Say in Libraries
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Librarians Treasure the Amazing Things People Say
I don't want to make you paranoid about talking to librarians, but sometimes we had a good laugh about something a library user said to us. Librarians love their library patrons and sincerely want to help them.
Funny situations do happen or someone says something without thinking it through. Here are the resulting humorous things people say in libraries.
(photo of the East Wakefield library in NH by Virginia Allain)
Funny situations do happen or someone says something without thinking it through. Here are the resulting humorous things people say in libraries.
(photo of the East Wakefield library in NH by Virginia Allain)
A Fun Story from My Library Days
One day while giving a group of students a tour of the library, I led the class down the hallway past the staff room. The door was open and several library staff members were taking their lunch break. One was heating something on the stove and several others were eating at the table.
Gazing in at this domestic scene, one young student asked,
“Where do the librarians sleep?”
Grown-Ups Say Funny Things Too
Another true library story
The library, where I worked in Maryland, installed a new security system for the books. Each book had a security device attached. The device would set off the security gate's alarm at the library's exit doors, if someone tried to sneak a book out without checking it out. This is similar to the security attachments and gates at many shopping malls.
A sign at the checkout desk informed library users of this new security feature. One library patron seemed puzzled by how the device would work. She asked,
A sign at the checkout desk informed library users of this new security feature. One library patron seemed puzzled by how the device would work. She asked,
“Will it start beeping when my books are overdue?”
Why You Should Be Nice to Librarians
Mouse in the Library
We had evidence of mice in the library kitchen where I worked in Reisterstown, Maryland. It had been nibbling the staff lunches. Finally one got caught by it's leg in the old-fashioned snap trap that the janitor placed under the sink.
No one could figure out what to do with the injured mouse. The simple solution would have been to drop the trap with the mouse into a bucket of water. Perhaps all the cute mice stories that we used for storytimes kept us from this easy solution.
When I arrived at work, I saw the branch manager putting an open box into her car. I asked if she was going to a meeting. "No," she said, "I'm taking this mouse to the vet. " I think the unfortunate mouse was put to sleep and out of its misery by the vet, who probably had a good laugh about how soft-hearted librarians are.
No one could figure out what to do with the injured mouse. The simple solution would have been to drop the trap with the mouse into a bucket of water. Perhaps all the cute mice stories that we used for storytimes kept us from this easy solution.
When I arrived at work, I saw the branch manager putting an open box into her car. I asked if she was going to a meeting. "No," she said, "I'm taking this mouse to the vet. " I think the unfortunate mouse was put to sleep and out of its misery by the vet, who probably had a good laugh about how soft-hearted librarians are.
Thinking of a Library Career?
I Pretend to Work and they pretend to pay me. by coffee mug by Spice
Many people think a library is such a nice place to work that librarians should volunteer their time. In fact, librarians in university libraries or public libraries are required to have a Master's Degree in Library Services. Usually the check-out staff are clerical positions and some very small or underfunded libraries hire para-professionals in place of librarians.
A random remark by a library user, brought this misconception home to me. The Library Director told several staff members that the paychecks were ready for pick up in the office. The library patron, overheard the remark and in an amazed tone, said....
“You mean you get paid to work here?”
Should Libraries Arrange Their Books by Color?
Enjoy these short videoes of animated bookshelves
If I only had a bookshelf like this and the books would rearrange themselves by colors. Sometimes people struggled to remember a book title or the author. Oddly enough, they would remember the color of the book's binding, but not the other essential information.
At times library patrons complained about books being on the wrong place on the shelf. I suspect while the library is closed, the books all move around like the ones in these videos. Some don't make it back to their correct spot before the library opens in the morning.
At times library patrons complained about books being on the wrong place on the shelf. I suspect while the library is closed, the books all move around like the ones in these videos. Some don't make it back to their correct spot before the library opens in the morning.
curated content from YouTube
“I can't remember the title, but it had a red cover.”
Librarian Action Figure
Shhhhhh
Nancy Pearl Librarian Action Figure
Amazon Price: $60.00 (as of 06/02/2012)
You can have all the books, magazines, periodicals, journals, videos, and CD ROMs in the world, but without a librarian you'll be frustrated and overwhelmed before you can say "Dewey Decimal System." And although most librarians can't travel faster than a speeding bullet, or leap over tall buildings in a single bound, they can direct you to an article on the physics of speed, an instructional pamphlet on high jumping, and a book of photographs of the world's tallest buildings.
Each 5" (12.7 cm) tall, hard vinyl Librarian Action Figure is modeled after Nancy Pearl, a real-life librarian from Seattle. Pull her arm down, then press the button on her back and the arm will move up to her lips with "amazing shushing action!" Comes with a tiny plastic book and a stack of random literature. Nancy Pearl trading card included! (description from Amazon)
Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Links to More Library Humor
- Funny Library Stories
- Funny Library Stories
Book lovers need never go to bed alone.
Funny Things Found in Returned Books
Library Book Returned: 99 Years Late
Library that lets you take out people (go to the site to read more library humor) - Library Humour
- International Federation of Library Associations' collection of library humour
- Index to Original Library Humor by Biblia, The Warrior Librarian
- Parodies of life in libraries; includes employment, administration, communication, appraisals, all content written by Amanda Credaro.
- The Merry Librarian
- The Merry Librarian True Stories from a Library Near You
- ALA | Library Humor on the Web
- Librarians can bookmark these for instant stress-relief. If necessary -- and if you can manage to keep a straight face -- you could always claim that you're 'evaluating resources for a new learning activity.'
More Librarian Humor
Tax Money for Books
sshh librarian by sarcasticlibrarian
Browse more Librarian Buttons
I never did this, but I always wanted to do it. I'll set the scene:
The library patron, with book in hand, indignantly approaches the information desk. "This book is a disgrace, and I can't believe the library has it." The librarian makes soothing sounds and takes a quick look at the offending book. The upset reader continues her tirade, "I don't want my tax money going for filth like this." After explaining the concept of intellectual freedom and that the library stocks books for all tastes, the librarian gives up on getting the irate woman to understand why the book won't be removed from the shelves. Handing the woman 25 cents, the librarian says,
“OK, here's your tax money back.”
Humor from Other Librarians on Squidoo
Library Cart by TNMgraphics
Browse Library Bags
Funny Library Stuff on Amazon
Did I Make You Laugh
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You must have a funny library story to share...
so go ahead and tell us about it here
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emackey61
Apr 24, 2012 @ 7:19 pm | delete
- I like the story about the person who asked for a "life-sized" globe.
The librarian thought for a moment about a diplomatic thing to say, then replied "It's in use."
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veryirie
Apr 22, 2012 @ 3:23 am | delete
- What an entertaining read. I haven't spent real time at a library in too long. When I was a kid, I was in awe of all the books. Loved the library stories you've shared. :)
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KM9999999
Apr 11, 2012 @ 12:51 am | delete
- I was in my local library a few weeks ago and there was a woman looking around for a book that she had check out and then promptly lost. The librarians were helping her look for it. They checked the return bins, the bathroom, etc. The book was called HOW TO ORGANIZE YOUR MIND.
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bibliophile1
Mar 13, 2012 @ 2:58 pm | delete
- I heard one member of the public tell a library assistant: "My taxes pay your wages." The assistant replied: "Well in that case, I'd like a raise."
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hntrssthmpsn
Mar 11, 2012 @ 3:45 pm | delete
- "I can't remember the title, but it had a red cover" Hah! My mom owned a bookstore while I was in my teens, and we heard similar things ("I'm looking for that book about a kid who had a dog"...) We love our library, and our wonderful librarians!
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wordstock Feb 21, 2012 @ 11:10 pm | delete
- I would imagine we have plenty of stories but none come to mind. As the child of a librarian I was oblivious to the other patrons, the library was my playground. This is funny and delightful to read. Angel blessed for putting up with some of those people.
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curious0927
Feb 14, 2012 @ 5:38 pm | delete
- I love the Library. As far as Funny--I'm usually the one who is cruising through, without a clue as to where the Author I like is placed and bug the Librarians to death! However, they are always so cheerful and nice, no matter how much I pester them!
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sybelle
Jan 30, 2012 @ 12:17 am | delete
- I have two daughters who have Masters Degrees in Library Science. One has been working with the country library system since she began as a "page" while still in high school. Although she is 29, she IS the youngest of all staff in the county.
Library positions in this county seem to be "lifetime" careers, which means in order for her to get a full time position, someone has to retire AND the county will have the money to keep the position open. Unfortunately every staff member feels like the librarian career will disappear with the advent of the internet, and my daughter feels frustrated that she chose a career path leading nowhere. She loves her job, but she has not been able to move out of home because she cannot afford a life with her salary.
What do you think? Will libraries be a thing of the past?
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vallain Jan 30, 2012 @ 5:16 pm | delete
- I disagree with the internet killing library services. It will be a long time before every home has access to the internet (despite smart phones). Libraries play a key role in providing information to low income citizens. A trained librarian can provide resources that the average person might never find online. Also more and more online info is charging for use. Libraries can subscribe to many of these for their patrons to use for free.
My niece is having a hard time getting full-time library work with her MLS degree. That's the bad economy and local governments cutting services. Very sad, but librarians do retire or go off for internet information jobs, so openings happen. It's harder if you are wanting to stay in one place. She might look at a wider area for jobs, not just locally.
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agoofyidea
Jan 16, 2012 @ 9:53 am | delete
- This lens is so true. I worked at the library and then at a bookstore. The number of people who thought I could find the "red" book for them was huge! It always amazed me that people who could obviously read could not remember to bring a list of the books they needed with them into the store. For some reason they thought I would know what they wanted. And most of the time I did. Great lens. Blessed!
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Paula Wilks
Jan 9, 2012 @ 9:18 pm | delete
- Countless students have said, " You mean you have to get a college degree to be a librarian?"
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gottaloveit
Dec 26, 2011 @ 8:42 am | delete
- I too love this Squidoo lens. You've presented these stories in such a personal fashion. This is a great read, Virginia! I've bestowed a blessing too.
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GayleMcLaughlin Dec 22, 2011 @ 5:15 pm | delete
- Because I was a librarian, I absolutely love this article! Squid Angel Blessed!
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annmackiemiller Dec 22, 2011 @ 12:19 pm | delete
- what fun -
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traveller27
Dec 22, 2011 @ 9:07 am | delete
- As someone who worked in libraries for many years, this was quite entertaining.
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AlleyCatLane
Dec 22, 2011 @ 8:07 am | delete
- What a great idea fo a lens, Virginia. People do say the darnest things ( to quote Art Linkletter - oops, I'm showing my age!). Blessed.
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Zut_Moon
Dec 22, 2011 @ 6:01 am | delete
- Not me ... I use to go in once in awhile but they don't allow me in anymore. I can't read anything without drinking beer and they won't allow me to bring it in with me.
I need to take a look at the rest of your lensography but first, I gotta buy me a case of beer. You have written some interesting lenses and I need to find the time to read some more and I will.
You
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susan300
Dec 21, 2011 @ 10:45 pm | delete
- "amazing shushing action!"... ROFL :)
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KniftyKnitter
Dec 21, 2011 @ 9:51 pm | delete
- Beeping books! He he!
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jksterling
Nov 5, 2011 @ 10:05 pm | delete
- I wish I had spent as much time at the library as I claimed. I loved your stories.
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poddys Nov 3, 2011 @ 1:09 pm | delete
- I don't have any personal library stories to tell, but I can just imagine the odd things some of the eccentric visitors say. Blessed and linked from The Daily Joke Collection.
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debnet
Nov 3, 2011 @ 1:00 pm | delete
- Hee hee hee... loved the line about where do Librarians sleep :) Blessed by a Squid Angel,
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mrducksmrnot
Oct 20, 2011 @ 8:39 pm | delete
- Very nice lens and a reminder to treat librarians with respect. Never have seen a librarian reading a book while at work (:>))
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LizMac60 Sep 12, 2011 @ 11:25 am | delete
- Amusing lens. Blessed
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Mickie_G
Aug 20, 2011 @ 12:35 pm | delete
- One day a young patron called the fiction desk to see if there was a copy of a book available. My friend, who answered the phone, thought the young person was looking for a book with the title "My D*mn Ovary". Bet you can guess what the classic book was! My friend just laughed at herself for misunderstanding what she was hearing. I am not sure the student patorn did.
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Karbyn
Jun 28, 2011 @ 10:52 pm | delete
- What a fun lens to read, very entertaining. I'm inspired to make one about Funny Things That 4 Year Olds Say, based on my 10 years teaching Pre-K. Coming soon to a squidoo near you!
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WorldVisionary
Jun 28, 2011 @ 7:43 am | delete
- Nice work Virginia! I love your lenses!
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CJ Garriott
Jun 25, 2011 @ 11:19 am | delete
- I recently had a patron using one of the computers come over and ask me where on the computer he should enter his credit card, as he wanted to buy something on the internet. After I realized he was not joking but was dead serious, I explained it wasn't something we offered. Wish I could have thought to say, "Oh, we don't have the app for that yet."
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smithlights
Jun 14, 2011 @ 12:19 am | delete
- Great stories! Thanks for sharing!
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jenokson
Jun 2, 2011 @ 9:18 am | delete
- I had a display in my junior high school library that featured an old rotary telephone. The students loved playing with the phone (unplugged, of course!), but many had a hard time figuring out how it was used as they had never seen one before. I really laughed when they asked, ?Where's the pound (#) key??, and ?How do you get call display on this??
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A-Redneck
May 27, 2011 @ 10:31 am | delete
- "will it start beeping when my book is overdue" lol now that is too funny. We are a strange lot us humans.
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scarlettohairy May 3, 2011 @ 9:33 pm | delete
- Great lens, Virginia!
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pkmcr Apr 16, 2011 @ 5:37 am | delete
- Shhhh don't tell anyone but this is a great lens!
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Margo_Arrowsmith
Apr 15, 2011 @ 10:20 pm | delete
- Well, I don't have a funny story, but I liked the lens
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cdevries
Apr 11, 2011 @ 1:08 pm | delete
- How about a book store quote? On asking the clerk to order me "The Autobiography of Elisabeth Vigee Lebrun" he asked, "Who wrote that?"
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Pukeko
Mar 18, 2011 @ 2:56 am | delete
- This is great, clever and original. Blessed. Please add a link to which ever category you think fits best on my humor angel lens.
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ChrissLJ Mar 6, 2011 @ 12:22 am | delete
- A grandmother was recently upset I didn't know the exact book she saw last week but didn't check out. It was about disciple and MIGHT have had the word "challenging" or "challenge" in the title of one of the chapters. She didn't know the author, any word in the title of the book, the color of the cover, if it was new/old, geared towards parents or teachers, etc. I tried explaining we have nearly 500,000 books at the library and so needed a little more information. She was convinced I wasn't trying hard enough.
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darciefrench
Feb 24, 2011 @ 9:50 pm | delete
- "I can't remember the title, but it had a red cover" -too funny! I just about lost my coffee out my nose -:)
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by Virginia Allain
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I'm Virginia Allain, a retired librarian. Now I devote myself to writing, photography and designing books to self-publish. Having fun!
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