Life in Albuquerque

Life in Albuquerque—One Resident's Musings

This lens is one man's take, experiences, descriptions and musings about Life in Albuquerque.

Greetings and salutations from Albuquerque in the Land of Enchantment, New Mexico, the land of tumbleweeds, roadrunners, where Bugs Bunny took a wrong turn and to where the runaway bride absconded. Yes, we are a part of the United States of America (between Texas and Arizona), yes we do have tumbleweeds and road runners. But while I have not seen Bugs Bunny (he must have found his way by now) there is the legend of the Jackalope (a Jackrabbit with deer antlers).

My name is Mariano. I was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina and have lived in Albuquerque (Alb.) since May of 1991. I am the husband of one and the father of three little treasures. I make a living by shuffling papers and punching buttons. I teach apologetics as a hobby and a service. I have traveled to the United States of America, Peru, Mexico, Israel, The Bahamas, Curacao, Aruba and Bonaire. I have lived in Buenos Aires-Arg., Miami-FL., and Albuquerque-NM.

Life in Albuquerque's Links

City of Albuquerque: This is Albuquerque's official city website.
Visit Albuquerque: This is Albuquerque's official visitor's website.
Movie Making in Alb.: New Mexico has become a popular location for film and television projects, find out more here.
Let Do Business, Alb. Ranked #1: Forbes magazine ranked Albuquerque #1 best place for business.
Think You're So Smart? Move to Alb.: Based on criteria such as value in home price, cost of living, great quality of life and access to health care, Kiplinger magazine has ranked Albuquerque as #3, out of 50, smartest places to live in the country.
"From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia": Succinct info about Alb.
Albuquerque Convention and Visitors Bureau: Time for a corporate pep-rally? Choose Alb.

Albuquerque, Statistically Speaking, Part I

Albuquerque is 300 years old, that's older than the USA as a whole.

The city is about 180 square miles.

The altitude ranges from circa 4,500 feet above sea level in the Rio Grande Valley to circa 6,500 feet at the foot of the Sandia Mountains.

A census from the year 2000 estimates Albuquerque's population at about 500,000 residents.

The statistics for some of these groups, according to a year 2000 census are as follows:

13,854 African-Americans
1,416 Sub-Saharan Africans
60,676 Irish
5,148 Welsh
13,742 Scottish
9,197 Norwegians
8,682 Swedish descent
3,810 Danes
11,211 Polish ancestry
86,000 Germans
871 South Americans
826 Latin American
179,075 "Hispanic or Latino"
105,381 "Other Hispanic or Latino"
78,296 "All other Hispanic or Latino"
21,736 "Spanish"
4,639 "Spanish American"
68,537 Mexicans
57,555 Native Americans

"Native Americans" includes:
22,072 (14,183 full-blooded) Navajo
12,622 (7,927 full-blooded) Pueblo
1,896 (1,086 full-blooded) Apache
Over all there are Native Americans representing some 150 different tribes living in Alb.

We also have various religious heritages represented in our population from one of the oldest Roman Catholic churches in the country to a Mormon Temple, from Messianic Synagogues to the Islamic Center, from Buddhist Centers to Jehovah's Witnesses Kingdom Halls, from Bahá'í Centers to Seventh Day Adventist Churches and many more.

Southwest Materials

...in case you can't come to visti soon

Photographing the Southwest: Volume 2--A Guide to the Natural Landmarks of Arizona & New Mexico

by Laurent Martres

Amazon Price: (as of 10/11/2008)

Hidden New Mexico: Including Albuquerque, Santa Fe, Taos and the Enchanted Circle

by Richard Harris

Amazon Price: (as of 10/11/2008)

Frommer's Santa Fe, Taos & Albuquerque (Frommer's Complete)

by Lesley S. King

Amazon Price: (as of 10/11/2008)

MapEasy's Guidemap to Santa Fe, Albuquerque & Taos

by MapEasy Inc.

Amazon Price: $5.50 (as of 10/11/2008)

Albuquerque: City at the End of the World

Amazon Price: $18.95 (as of 10/11/2008)

Albuquerque, Statistically Speaking, Part II

Two of our main yearly celebrations are the Balloon Fiesta and the State Fair:

The International Balloon Fiesta takes place in Oct., the 6th-15th in 2006. During the Balloon Fiesta there is an event called the Mass Ascension, which means that hundreds upon hundreds of balloons take flight within minutes of each other until the sky is filled with colorful globes. Now, I believe that it was the visitor's center that stated that one of the most asked questions they receive is, "Do we have to be Catholic to attend the Mass Ascension?"
Another highlight of the Fiestas is the night glow, which is when hundreds of balloons are filled up but remain on the ground and numerous times throughout the night there is a countdown and then all at once the pilots will pull their cords and release the fire that caused the balloon to light up in the night. It is truly a site to behold. This is followed by a fireworks show.
Meanwhile, you can get your fill of balloon paraphernalia such as hats, pins, shirts, third-degree burns, you know, the usual. You can also stuff your self with hamburgers, funnel cakes, cotton candy and, oh yes, lard fried butter sticks-yum!
Another unique event is the Special Shapes Rodeo, which is when all of the, you guessed it, special shapes take off. The shapes are anything and everything you can imagine-balloons in the shape of a beer can, a computer, Noah's Ark, cartoon characters, horse drawn wagons, Mr. Potato Head and even one of Jesus.

Our 121-year-old New Mexico State Fair where you can see school children's artwork, livestock, visit the Indian and Spanish villages, get heckled by carnies, and eat deep fried pickles, Oreos, and Twinkies-I wish I were joking.

While the traditional cultures are Native American and Spanish/Mexican there are a variety of ethnicities that reside in Alb. including African-American, Sub-Saharan-African, Arab, Armenian, Celtic, Chinese, Cuban, French, Filipino, German, Greek, Hawaiian, Hispanic-Latin-American, Hungarian, Indian, Italian, Japanese, Jewish, Korean, Persian, Russian, Scandinavian and Vietnamese. Two of Albuquerque's cultural centers are the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center and the National Hispanic Cultural Center. The interesting thing about living in a mixed culture city is that one culture's hero is another culture's villain and so you get the occasional dispute about statues, etc. Yet, spirits are high and tensions are low.

Events and Museums

Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta: Come visit us for this international event.
Anderson-Abruzzo Albuquerque International Balloon Museum: See various exhibits about hot air.
Unser [Car] Racing Museum: Did you know that the word "racecar" is the same backwards and forwards?
Georgia O'Keefe Museum: I don't know what "it" is, but she's got "it."
The Albuquerque Museum of Art & History: Diverse exhibits.

How Did I End Up in Albuquerque?

Well, to make a short story long-I started life as a child but you probably already knew that! Ok, ok, I was born at a young age! Alright, alright.

The real reason that I ended up in Albuquerque is why not? I was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina and lived there until I was nine-years-old. We then moved to Miami, Florida where I lived until I was twenty-one-years-old. Miami was just not my style-too big, too busy, too much traffic, too corporate, too materialistic, too mean, too much of too much.

By the end of high school a couple of buddies and I felt the same way and we started talking about moving somewhere. There was a family that we knew that owns land just north of Taos, New Mexico (Taos is north of Santa Fe, which is north of Alb.). They were living in Miami Beach but were planning to move to Alb. These nice folks offered to let us stay with them in Alb. until we could find a place to live. Good enough!

All I knew about Alb. is that there were mountains there (but sadly, no ocean, which is the only thing I miss from Florida) and that they ate spicy food. Thus, we started eating lots of chips and salsa to get us ready for the local cuisine. We also started getting rid of a lot of junk to get us ready for the road trip.

List of all of my links

Life and Doctrine: Various Topics and Links to Various More
Life in Albuquerque: One Resident's Musings
Thank God for The Da Vinci Code!!!: "Squidoo" Version
Thank God for The Da Vinci Code!!!: "Blogger" Version
Regarding The Gospel of Judas: "Squidoo" Version
Regarding The Gospel of Judas: "Blogger" Version
Apologia: Succinct Description of Apologetics and Links to Various Resources (books, audio, video, ministries, charities, music, etc.)
The Bahá'í Faith: Essays About The Bahá'í Faith
Islamicus: Essays About Islam
Mormonism: Essays About Mormonism - LDS Church
Maryology: Essays About The Catholic Views of Mary
Eucharist: Essays About Catholic Eucharist - The Real Presence
Purgatory: Essays About Catholic Purgatory
Grand Design Graphics: Great Shirts, Frugal Prices
No End Books: Great Books, Frugal Prices
"The Lost Tomb of Jesus": "Blogger" Version
"The Lost Tomb of Jesus": "Squidoo" Version
Atheism Asserted: The Expansive Version
Atheism Succinctly: The Introductory Version
Sam Harris-Myth Buster or Myth Maker?: "Blogger" Version: various essays about Mr. Harris
Sam Harris-Myth Buster or Myth Maker?: "Squidoo" Version
Richard Dawkins - Regarded: The Prof's zeitgeist weltanschauung explored
Dan Barker - One of America's Leading Atheists: Essays about the Freedom From Religion Foundation's very own Mr. Barker
Atheism is Dead: Multi-author site discusses atheism from various perspectives.

Road Tales, When I Left Miami to Move to Albuquerque

Between the three of us we had one vehicle. I don't even know what brand it was and I have not seen any like it for years but basically, picture a Le Car, a very small hatchback. The three of us packed this little car with everything we thought we would need to start our new lives.

This collection of miscellaneous debris included a cat and a snake that were free to roam around the car. The cat ended up urinating on one of the guys and we did not see the snake until we were in Alb. unpacking the car.

The front seats were pulled as far forward as they would go, with the seatbacks completely vertical. The back seats (of this two door car) were jam-packed with stuff and so where did the third person sit? Well, we somehow accommodated the third unlucky stiff (we actually took turns) laying down on top of all sorts of stuff with our feet facing the back of the car and our heads virtually on the ceiling-we called it the paralysis chamber.

So, we hit the road but not until... understand that a lot of people don't know that New Mexico is one of the fifty states so anyhow, when we packed the car we made a sign for the window that said, "New Mexico or bust." As we hit the road, along with the obligatory Born to be Wild on the tape player, "Get your motor runnin' head out on the highway." People listened to tapes way back in 1991 but the poor little tape player passed away due to overuse just as soon as we pulled into Alb.! Just as were where waiting at a traffic light to turn unto the highway ramp that would, eventually, bring us to our destination someone in the next car saw our sign and asked if we were moving there. We answered in the affirmative just as the light turned green and they had just enough time to yell, "Don't drink the water!" That was it, the straw that broke the camel's back; we were so out of there!!!

Well, the first day we drove as far as Tampa, Florida where we spent the night at a friend's house. The second day we drove to Atlanta, Georgia to spend the night at the house of one of the guy's mom's house. Then the third day was the home stretch, a massive drive from Georgia to New Mexico.

We're Here!!! Now What???, Part I

Well, we were here. We came to the house of our Taos-Miami Beach-Alb. friends and lived there for a few months. It was a quaint little two bedroom, one bathroom house-oh, did I mention that there ended up being eleven of us who lived there at one time? Sure, the family, the friends, the daughter on a college break, her friend that came along, etc., etc. How did we do it? Five words, "Please form an orderly line." Some slept in beds, some on futons, some on couches and yes, some in the garage.

Alb. is home to Kirtland Air Force Base and on occasion we heard the sound of freedom within city limits. On occasion we also saw fighter jets as well as large transport planes and military helicopters. The airport and air force base were right next to each other. I once lived a few blocks from them and at one point a certain runway was being repaired and so planes had to use alternate routs in order to land on an alternate runway. This brought all sorts of planes right over my house and when the fighter jets flew overhead, often two, three or four together, the house would shake and we would have to halt our conversation awaiting the subsiding of their roaring engines. After some time, the repairs were completed and the planes went back to flying where they belong-flying right over the houses of people who are poorer than me!

We're Here!!! Now What???, Part II

Like I said, I have lived in Alb. since May of 1991 and I have lived in twelve houses:

1-a house on Morningside with the 11 people in a 2 bedroom house.

2-a house on Stanford, we had the 3 of us in a 3 bedroom house. The bedrooms had no windows in them. You could sleep until noon and not even know it. You see, sometimes landlords buy a large house and block doors and windows in order to make it into two or three small, and very poorly architectured houses-poor airflow, one heater vent in the living room and none in the bedrooms, etc. Before I moved into the student ghetto I had never heard of a house with a street address that had the "1/2" symbol in it, but that is why. Later we had two friends move in with us so they lived in different corners of our living room.

3-a house on Silver where we had 3 people in a 1 bedroom with two sleeping in the living room.

4-a house on Coal Place where we had 3 people in a 2 bedroom.

5-another house on Coal Place, right across the street from the one mentioned above, with 3 people in a 2 bedroom, one sleeping in the living room.

6-a house on Wellesley where we had 2 people in a 2 bedroom house, all normal like.

7-my now sister-in-law's house, where I lived in order to save money while my fiancé and I waited to get married (while she lived at her mom's). This only lasted about three days since she had cats and I, virtually overnight, developed cat allergies.

8-my other now sister-in-law's house, where I lived in order to save money while my fiancé and I waited to get married (while she lived at her mom's).

9-my now father-in-law's house, where I lived in order to save money while my fiancé and I waited to get married (while she lived at her mom's).

10-the very small, I mean intimate, guest home that we rented from friends right after my wife and I were wed.

11-my mother-in-law's house where we lived while the house my wife and I were buying was being built (it's not a custom home it's just that the complex was new).

12-the house my wife and I bought (or will be buying for three decades from the bank).

Wow, what a wild ride!!!

How I Got Stuck in (Old) Mexico (For a Little While)

I ended up becoming a citizen of the USA due to President Ronald Reagan's amnesty program in the 1980s. Meanwhile my status was that of Resident Alien. Once, some friend's and I had the brilliant idea of going to Mexico to see the festival of the Dia de Los Muertos-Day of the Dead. Big mistake!

For one we went to Juarez, a very poor and depressing little town. We saw not one single hint of the festivities, I would even ask the locals about it, in Spanish, and they would look at me like I had two heads. Lastly, as we were about to cross back over the boarder they simply ask, "Country of origin?" and with all honesty I said, "Argentina." While this is technically correct, since that is from whence I hail, I suppose they were asking where I was before coming into Mexico. They were not even checking IDs they were just asking (as long as you don't look Mexican I guess). The border guard asked to see my Green Card, which I had simply forgotten to bring with me. I said that I live in the USA and that I had my driver's license that had my social security number on it, but it did not meet the requirements.

Well, I was locked away in a cockroach ridden hell pit-just kidding. They took me into their version of immigration services where they informed me that it would cost me $90.00 for them to do something that would allow me to go back home and we soon gathered up enough money and I was on my way. The whole experience was a waste of time except that I bought four bajas for $20.00 (a baja is a hooded, long-sleeved, thick overcoat).

Becoming a Citizen of this Great Land, The Ceremony and September 11th, Part I

My road to US citizenship was a long haul that lasted from 1979 until 2001. From 1979 until the late 1980s I was an illegal alien. Then, through President Ronald Reagan's amnesty program I became a resident alien, now eligible for citizenship. We went through a process of background checks and had to return to Argentina, until we were approved to return to the US.

Once we were eligible to actually apply for citizenship I was a teenager and too busy running amuck. Then in my early 20s I moved to Alb. and finally got around to turning in my application. From this point I waited about four years and thought that I would write to the INS (Immigration and Naturalization Services) to check on the status of my application. They did not write back and so I wrote another inquiry a while later. They did not respond the second time either but I soon received a notice that I was to appear for my citizenship test-in El Paso, Texas.

I began to study for the test which consisted of American history and government. My dad sent me the very same book that he used to study for the test, in fact, I had to go through the mock test sections of the book and, while blurring my vision so as to not see the answers, erased all of the answers he had written. At this point the rest of my family had already been granted their citizenship, due to their personal lack of procrastination.

Becoming a Citizen of this Great Land, The Ceremony and September 11th, Part II

I traveled to El Paso and waited for my turn in the INS office. When my name was finally called the agent asked, "You live in Albuquerque? What are you doing here? You could have taken the test in Albuquerque." I explained that I had been waiting for some four years and that if they said to go to El Paso then I was going to El Paso. Besides, my wife had come with me since my brother-in-law lives in El Paso and so it was a mini vacation.

The test went well and I was approved to continue to the citizenship ceremony which was scheduled sometime later (and in Albuquerque). I must admit that I thought that the citizenship ceremony would not be a big deal, after all by 2001 I had lived in the USA for twenty-two years. Believe it or not the ceremony was set for September 14th, 2001.

The morning of September 11th, 2001 I woke up and did something that I did not usually do, I turned the television on while I got ready for work and there it was-the burning twin towers and all the horror that came with. Days later I was to become the citizen of a country under attack-this time it was personal. I received a letter in the mail that informed me that the ceremony had been rescheduled to October 24th, 2001.

The day finally came and we gathered. The Mayor was there as well as a Federal Judge. We all sat in an auditorium and various countries were called out one by one and as they were named anyone from that country stood up for a moment and sat back down. It was truly incredible, so many people from so many places. When Argentina was called I stood, looked at the Federal Judge and gave him a little nod, which he returned. It was then told to us that we were the first people to become citizens since Sep. 11th and it was a powerful moment as we went through the oath. I thought that it would be no big deal but it was. I felt as if we were being welcomed in through Ellis Island.

Ballet at the Casino? Oh, No!

There's lots of casinos in New Mexico, I can tell you nothing about them since I don't frequent them. Incidentally, it's somewhat common to hear certain people state, in the same sentence, oh how broke they are and just how often they go to the casino, without making any logical connection between the two. Anyhow, attending a ballet at a casino turned out to be an odd sort of social experiment. I only call it that looking back since at the time it was a hot date. I took my wife to the ballet at a casino. More precisely, it was at a theater in one of the casinos. We went to see the Russian Ballet perform the Nutcracker. The music and ballet were absolutely stunning, melodic and beautiful (the Dance of the Sugar Plumb Fairy is one of my favorites).

So why, "Oh, No!" Well, first we get there and all we see is the inside of the casino and so we asked the person at the information desk where the theater is and they pointed and said, "Over there, where the sign says Theater," (I'm not mentioning the name since it's superfluous), with this attitude like couldn't you see the sign? Well, even when it was pointed out to us it was difficult to see since what we are looking for was across gargantuan room literally jampacked with blinking lights, beeping machines and slack jawed gamblers who probably had not had a breath of fresh air since they walked into the casino the previous weekend. We made our way across the hallucinogenic atmosphere and the sad gamblers who numbingly placed token after token into the slots as if they were a mommy bird feeding her chicks.

If mistake one was going to see a ballet at a casino, mistake two was getting the only tickets I could afford, which meant that we were sitting about three rows from the very, very back of the theater. This may not have been a big problem if...you must understand that this was not a mere theater, this was a casino baby! And so there was a concession stand inside the theater and, yes, right behind us. How, you might ask, did they prepare for intermission? Apparently by chipping an iceberg into icecubes from what I could hear, oh yeah, it took them about a half hour and sounded like they were banging bags of ice against a gong! Then intermission came and apparently some residents of Alb. cannot make it through a ballet without drinking a 68 oz. beer along with various sugary, salted, oily snacks-what high culture? Serves me right I suppose, next time I'll take her to an appropriate theater at the UNM campus

Whether You Can Weather the Weather or Not, Part I

Sorry, but I lived in Miami, Florida from 1979 until 1991 and I got spoiled to tropical weather. What's the weather like in Alb.? We run the gambit from the eighties, to the high nineties, to low hundreds in the heat of summer (pun intended, yes it's very punny, ok no more punishment). Our winters may or may not include snow. Generally, we can see snow on the Sandia Mountains but there may not be a flake on the ground in the city.

The Sandia Mountains are on the east of Alb., you can always get your bearings by looking for the mountains. They are called Sandia because that is the Spanish word for watermelon. But why Sandia-watermelon? Because during the sunset the mountains turn various beautiful shades of pink and red. Believe it or not, some people actually get lost in the Sandia Mountains. I say believe it or not because the Sandias are not haphazardly strewn about the landscape but are virtually a straight line. Basically, on one side of the mountains there is nothing at all and on the other side there is an entire city! If you find yourself lost in the Sandias simply go to the side of the mountain where you can see a city and walk towards it!

When I first moved to Alb. I walked everywhere I went (I lived on Central between University and Carlisle, for local references). During the summer you walk on the sidewalks where the shade is and during winter you walk on the side where the sun is. I always wore my long johns, hat and gloves but the problem is that once you get to where you are going, they have the heat on and you begin to roast, then you are all sweaty and you head out into the winter weather again, not very healthy. In fact, I recall walking to a coffee shop and having to go into the bathroom to strip down and remove my long johns and the replaced them when I was ready to leave. Also, once you get a vehicle you have a heater in the car and you tend to lighten your apparel.

Whether You Can Weather the Weather or Not, Part II

Occasionally you see them-the winter people. I don't know where these people come from, nor how they do it. An example, I was in my car one morning with the windows closed, of course, fully bundled and waiting for my heater to kick in. It takes a few blocks in my car but you can also run outside, turn on the car, run back inside and wait a few minutes for the car to warm up. Although, quite often thieves will look for unoccupied cars that are running and simply have a seat and steal them. The annoying thing is that they only seem too steal your car only once it is nice and toasty. Anyhow, I was in my car shivering when I saw one of the winter people walking down the sidewalk wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Then again, I have a friend who moved here from Boston and he does much the same. One winter night some friends and I paused outdoors to have a word and I pulled my zipper all the way up (on my jacket) and was hugging myself. One of the guys asked, "Are you sick." I said, "No, I lived in Florida for 12 years." "So you're a wimp," said he. To which I retorted, "Yep."

In the winter the wind calls the shots, when the wind kicks up it can blow right through anything short of a decent windbreaker. The only other problem with winter is that the cost of heating your home can be a killer to the tune of a couple hundred dollars per month for natural gas. You have to have a special permit to warm your home by wood burning stove. This is particularly true when we have pollution in the winter and wood burning is banned (for whatever period of time). You must have a permit in order to avoid the fines. Also, sometimes it is necessary to utilize a humidifier during winter since Alb. is so very dry and you have to pump heat into your home. When my parents come to visit from Florida, I have to put the humidifier on since my dad's sinuses dry up on him. In the summer we get dry heat, you know, like sticking your head in an oven.

Actually, having lived in Florida's 80-90% humidity, I'll take 10% anytime. But you do have to be careful about keeping your body hydrated-drink plenty of fluids and use skin and lip lotion. Before I moved to Alb. I never understood why people used things such as skin and lip lotion, but one morning I woke up with my lip split and I said oh, that really hurts, so this is why people use those things!

Whether You Can Weather the Weather or Not, Part IV

Now for a point of contention between my wife and I-New Mexico follows daylight savings time, which means that our winter days are short and our summer days are long. This seems backwards to me. For example, I'm on the road at 5:30 am to go to work. On winter days it's still pitch black and very cold, at that time. Then on the way home, which for me is driving west, I have the sunset in my eyes. During summer, I'm out the door hearing the chirping of birds as they wake up to seek that early worm, but then the sun does not go down until 8:00 pm. I figure that in winter you want long days due to the possibility that since the sun is out longer it will not be as cold all day. While in the summer you want shorter days so that while you are out and about it's not so hot. "Querida (as I call my wife) I would love to take the kids to the park but I want to wait until it cools down a bit, sooooo, about midnight should do." Basically my wife seems to favor long summer days since kids are out of school and can enjoy a full days of gallivanting around-I can't really argue with her kind heart.

Whether You Can Weather the Weather or Not, Part V

Spring and Fall are definitely my favorite seasons because we get some variety in the weather and not just long periods of cold or hot. In these in between seasons you may put on your jacket in the morning but drive back home going 4-65: 4 windows down going 65 mph.

Albuquerque's Averages

January
High 47 ºF
Low 23 ºF
Mean Temp. 35 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 68.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 41.0%

February
High 53 ºF
Low 27 ºF
Mean Temp. 40 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 64.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 33.0%

March
High 61 ºF
Low 33 ºF
Mean Temp. 47 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 55.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 25.0%

April
High 71 ºF
Low 41 ºF
Mean Temp. 56 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 48.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 20.0%

May
High 80 ºF
Low 50 ºF
Mean Temp. 65 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 48.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 19.0%

June
High 90 ºF
Low 59 ºF
Mean Temp. 75 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 45.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 18.0%

July
High 92 ºF
Low 65 ºF
Mean Temp. 79 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 60.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 27.0%

August
High 89 ºF
Low 63 ºF
Mean Temp. 76 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 65.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 30.0%

September
High 83 ºF
Low 56 ºF
Mean Temp. 70 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 61.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 29.0%

October
High 72 ºF
Low 44 ºF
Mean Temp. 58 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 60.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 29.0%

November
High 57 ºF
Low 31 ºF
Mean Temp. 45 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 63.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 35.0%

December
High 48 ºF
Low 24 ºF
Mean Temp. 36 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 68.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 43.0%

Full Year Average
High 70 ºF
Low 43 ºF
Mean Temp. 57 ºF
Morning Rel Humidity 59.0%
Afternoon Rel Humidity 29.0%

Driving Me Crazy in Albuquerque? No, Not Really, Part I

Getting around in Alb. is pretty easy. There are just two highways-40 runs east and west while 25 runs north and south. Having lived in Miami, where the traffic is insane, I cannot complain about Alb.'s traffic, but sometimes I still do.

I now work 6:00 am to 3:00 pm which is an awesome schedule you miss all the rush hour traffic and are home by 3:20 pm having already worked your 8 hours. But when I used to work 8:00 pm to 5:00 pm, I pulled a little trick-I used the Frontage Road. Obviously, this road runs parallel to the highways and allows access to the highways from various localities, as well as access to various businesses just off of the highway. Thus, in order to miss 5:00 pm traffic I would hug the highway for as long as possible and then jump onto the highway in order to cross the Rio Grande.

A word about buses and bridges. Public transportation can be tricky and slooowww. For one, when you get up on a winter morning and have to stand outside waiting for a bus it can be a chilling experience to say the least. Neither snow, nor rain, nor sleet, nor hail%u2026 I was once working as a temporary associate, you know-a dime a dozen worker, and so when the bus dropped me off I could not get into the building until some minutes later and would have to stand outside in the severity of the winter weather while the privileged crowd of fulltime employees would pull up in their cars and sit in them with the engine running in order to power their heaters. Good for y'all and I love you too.

Another downer for public transportation is that it used to take me one hour to travel, which would take about 15 minutes with a normal vehicle. One hour! One hour! Please understand that you can get from Alb. to Santa Fe in less than an hour. Of course, the speed limit for going to Santa Fe is 75 MPH, which means that people are going about, oh I don't know, about 167 MPH.

Driving Me Crazy in Albuquerque? No, Not Really, Part II

Another issue is that Alb. is growing like Jonah's plant and if you live on the west side (or west saa'yeed to use the local colloquialism) there are not many options for getting into the heart of Alb. You basically have Central, HWY 40, Montano Bridge or Paseo Del Norte. This may seem like a lot for Alb. but it is a bit of a distance between them and the west side is growing in population more and more each day.

This brings us to Montano Bridge, an I'll either laugh or cry situation. At first is was a big controversy because the bridge was to be built across the Rio Grande (just like any and all other streets that connect the western civilization) and some people did not want the dung beetles disturbed, or something like that. Well, the project was approved and building began. While it was getting close to being finished, rollerbladers, bicyclists, joggers and dog enthusiasts used to have a ball going back and forth across the bridge. Thus, once the bridge was finished and the traffic started rolling, the wacky fun lovers petitioned that the bridge be closed down on weekends so that they could have their fun. Sorry guys, we're trying to run a city here!

Oh, but what an odd bridge it was-one lane each way, which is preposterous for the amount of traffic it needed to accommodate. Stranger still, there was a nice sidewalk and a bike lane so wide that it could accommodate a Hummer. Then someone had the bright idea-that alleged bike lane is wide enough to accommodate a motor vehicle and have room left over for an actual, you know-normal, bike lane.

Triumph at last, the bridge was made in to two lanes each way! But wait, the residents east of Montano Bridge, about two houses, a patch of corn and a car racing museum, did not like all that traffic and so they petitioned that Montano be made one lane each way again. And viola! Now there were two lanes each way but with an endless line of those big, ugly, orange barrels blocking one lane each way. Ah, but then in a historic victory for common sense someone figured out that if we had built two lanes to go each way, please attempt to grasp this profundity, we should use them!

This, my friends, is job security-build a poorly designed bridge knowing that it will have to be changed again and again, you're doing what with my tax money?!?

Driving Me Crazy in Albuquerque? No, Not Really, Part III

There is a trend taking hold in Alb.-TVs in SUVs. Watching TV while driving is such a good idea since we have such fantastic drivers in Alb. The first time that I found myself driving behind a vehicle with a TV screen in it I suddenly realized that I was watching TV instead of concentrating on the road! But, getting used to it, I kept changing lanes right behind them and eventually pulled along side and asked them to turn the volume up. Then I got back behind them, but after a little while they changed the channel. So I pulled along side again and yelled out, "Change it back I was watching that!" Well, I ended up following them home and the driver got out, being a little freaked out, asked why I was following them. I told them I just wanted to watch the rest of the show and asked if they would leave it on. I will be glad to put the keys under the floor mat when it's over.

One serious problem in Alb. is drunk driving. We literally have people who end up committing vehicular homicide and we find out that they had been busted for DUI or DWI a dozen times. We have a tough slogan that goes, "You drink, you drive, you loose," which has sarcastically turned into, "You drink, you drive, we set you loose." It seems as if every week someone in Alb. does a drive by shooting, fortunately they are usually too drunk to hit anything, then they drive the wrong way down the highway and end up plowing their vehicles into a house. Seriously though, we do have an incredible number of people who plow their vehicles into houses, "How did you get the car into the kitchen?" "I took a left in the living room."

New Mexico Cuisine, Is it "Hot," or "Hot"? Is it "Chili," or "Chile"?, Part I

These are important questions-when someone says, "That's hot," it could mean, "That's spicy,"
or, "That's of a particularly high temperature." Also, c-h-i-l-i is that weird Texan stuff with ground beef and mushy beans, while c-h-i-l-e refer to our famous New Mexican spicy peppers. When sitting to a New Mexican meal you will be asked, "Red or green?" This refers to our chile peppers and the spicy condiments that is made with them. If you are not used to spicy food, please for the sake of all that is wholesome in life, ask them to put it on the side. This way you can control your chile distribution.

You see, you never know what you are getting. Some people think that red is always spicier than green but this is not necessarily the case. Greens come in different intensities as well as reds. Incidentally, technically red and green are the same chile but if you pick it while it is still growing it is green, but if you wait until it is mature it will turn red. Also, keep in mind that the seeds are the spiciest part of the chile.

Ever heard of tourist chile? This is the local term for a restaurant's chile that is very mild, if it is spicy at all, and so it is thought to be accommodated to the fragile palate of the tourist. I was once eating some very spicy green chile stew in a little restaurant when the person at the next table, eating the same thing, made a comment to me about how very spicy it was and I said, "This ain't no tourist chile." Then, another person sat with them and I noticed by their big name tags around their necks that they literally were tourists in town for some kind of convention, oops. On the other hand, some people make chile that is so spicy that after a while you cannot even taste the food anymore and all you have is all the pain and none of the flavor.

New Mexico Cuisine, Is it "Hot," or "Hot"? Is it "Chili," or "Chile"?, Part II

Some examples of New Mexican food are tacos, basically ground beef or beans, with cheese, onions, tomatoes and chile in a hard, folded corn tortilla. Burritos, basically ground beef or beans, with cheese, onions, tomatoes and chile rolled up in a flour tortilla. Tostadas, basically ground beef or beans, with cheese, onions, tomatoes and chile on a flat corn tortilla. Nachos, basically ground beef or beans, with cheese, onions, tomatoes and chile on tortilla chips. Enchiladas, basically ground beef or beans, with cheese, onions, tomatoes and chile layered on flour or corn tortillas. Thus, goes the joke, it's all the same food but just in different shapes! I have come to call enchiladas Mexican lasagna and I call lasagna Italian enchiladas (green chile chicken enchiladas are very good). But Albuquerque also boasts quite the selection of worldwide cuisine including everything from Native American, Asian, Barbecue, German, Greek (Mediterranean), Italian, Indian (from India), Spanish, Brazilian, etc., etc., etc.

Can't forget to mention the ristras. These are bundles of dry chiles that are stranded together and generally used as decorations. I was in Old Town with a native New Mexican who looked around at all of the ristras hung as decorations and she lamented what a waste it was since they could be made into chile (stew, or what have you).

New Mexicans are very serious about their chile and they will put it in everything. What do you have with your turkey for Thanksgiving Day? Gravy? No, red chile stew. What do you put in your burgers? Diced green chile. What's for breakfast? Huevos rancheros, eggs with chile (spicy eggs and hot coffee do not mix well). There is chile fudge, chile beer, chile stuffed with cheese and the all time oddity, believe it or not, green chile cheesecake! I must admit that I only saw this particular delicacy once in my 15 years in Alb. and how did it taste? Well, it was certainly a unique savor that defies description with mere mortal words. I spent some time speaking to Mormon missionaries and asked them what they thought of the local cuisine and they said that it was good but do they have to put chile in everything? Yes we do, yes we do.

New Mexico Cuisine, Is it "Hot," or "Hot"? Is it "Chili," or "Chile"?, Part III

A friend from Miami had moved to Taos, New Mexico for a while and then back to Miami. When I visited Miami once, we met for dinner at an IHOP or Denny's, I don't quite recall the restaurant. He said that he would ask for green chile just to see what would happen. After various attempts at making the waiters understand what he was talking about she finally brought out one whole green chile laid out on a plate, this thing was slimy and florescent green-what did we expect?

There are other chiles and chile derivatives for instance: habaneros, piquin and chipotle. Habaneros are lethal weapons of mass irritation. They are have a bulbous look and are generally bright orange in color. A friend was growing some habaneros and when some of the guys gathered for a barbeque the inevitable happened, the 'ol tough guy routine took hold and the guys had to see who could eat the habaneros. One of them took a taste and it was very hot, so the next one had to take a really big bite and his eyes were watering instantly. Well, I'm no tough guy and don't care to be, all I did was simply touch the outside of the habanero to my tongue, I did not even bite it. That was plenty and enough thank you very much! Chile piquin are little (an inch or two), red and thin. I once worked as a temporary associate (aka dime a dozen worker) for a local New Mexican food company. I was getting up at 3:30 in the morning to be to work by 4:00 and there we were in the freezing cold of winter mornings in December loading the truck and hitting the road (about four hours before sunrise). We delivered goods to supermarkets including pouring bulk material into the markets bulk bins. I poured a bag full of piquins into the bin and the fallout made me choke. Pouring the chiles down caused chile dust to puff up at me, and while my co-worker warned me to not touch my eyes, I understood why someone invented pepper spray. In fact, I was once stir-frying some green chile with red onion when I caught a strong whiff of the steam that was coming off of the pan and I could hardly breath. Chipotle (pronounced chipotle) is a smoke dried jalapeno chile and has a wonderful smoky flavor, sorry I have no chipotle stories.

New Mexico Cuisine, Is it "Hot," or "Hot"? Is it "Chili," or "Chile"?, Part IV

A last word on chile. From what I understand hot/spicy chile eventually kills your taste buds or something to the likes. This is why the hottest chile is generally eaten by New Mexican seasoned citizens. Yes, seasoned citizen is the politically correct term for old timer, old person, or the more neutral elderly or senior citizen. Although, I must admit that to me seasoned citizen sounds like an item on a cannibal's menu. Now that I've referred to the chronologically advanced I'm going to really step in it and make reference to my in-laws. By the way, do you know the difference between in-laws and out-laws? Well, outlaws are wanted! Just kidding of course, I actually love my in-laws. Back to chile. My mother-in-law can eat chile that my wife and I cannot even touch. But when she had gotten a particularly spicy batch, too hot for her even, my father-in-law could eat it like it was ice-cream. I actually took some of it and stripped the barnacles off of an old submarine.

Wanna Cook Like Us? Look Here!

The Best From New Mexico Kitchens

by Sheila MacNiven Cameron

Amazon Price: $9.95 (as of 10/11/2008)

Idonapshe / Let's Eat: Traditional Zuni Foods

by A:shiwi A:wan Museum and Heritage Center

Amazon Price: (as of 10/11/2008)

LA Casa Sena: The Cuisine of Santa Fe

by Gordon Heiss, John Harrisson

Amazon Price: (as of 10/11/2008)

The Food of Santa Fe: Authentic Recipes from the American Southwest

by Dave Dewitt, Nancy Gerlach

Amazon Price: (as of 10/11/2008)

Good Life: New Mexico Traditions And Food

by Fabiola Cabeza De Baca Gilbert

Amazon Price: $14.95 (as of 10/11/2008)

Diversity of Architecture

New Mexico is generally thought of as consisting of flat roofed, stucco dwellings. There are many of these and they are quite esthetically pleasing. Yet, Alb. has quite a variety of styles and colors as far as homes are concerned.

In the foothills area, as close to the Sandias as you can build, there are the nice homes where (from what I'm told by people who live there) some people will spray paint their lawn with green paint in the winter.

We have the valley where houses are very nice, some quaint, most have a bit of land around them, but there are also the ones that are no more than shacks (this is because this is all that the person can afford since they have spent $100,000.00 on apparel for their low-rider cars).

We have an area where there are Victorian style homes.

We have areas on the west side where the houses are springing at a very rapid rate and they are nice but, it seems that regardless of the builder, they look very much alike.

We have lofts in the downtown area, including an old high school that sat vacant for decades but have now been turned into lofts.

There is an old style of building where they would use bales of hay to build walls that were covered in chicken wire and were then stuccoed (think smearing with mud). Mud bricks are also a popular older style, as is building with beams across the ceiling, the ends of which actually extend through the walls so that you can see them poking out, a foot or two, above the door and windows at the front of the house. Now, what's funny is that some modern builders, attempting to model the old look, will actually get one or two feet long logs and simply nail them to the front of the house. The funny thing is when they get worn and start falling off and then you just see a little circle where the fake beam must be nailed back. Another nice touch is that some houses maintain the traditional earth tones or mud-like colors, shades of brown and tan, but will pain the trim of doors and windows in a royal or cobalt blue, or purple, or even pink which is a very nice and simple touch.

You might expect to see many old structures in Alb., since it is 300-years-old, but when you are building with hay and mud things wear down quite fast. For instance, the church in Old Town was originally built in 1706 but when the Rio Grande flooded it washed it away and was rebuilt in 1793 (if you go into the rectory, the church office, you can see that the walls are 4 to 5 feet thick).

The University Area, Part I, Students and Rent

The area surrounding the University of New Mexico is known as the student ghetto. Since I lived in the ghetto for a few years when I first move to Alb. it actually took a long time until I met a person who had actually been born in Alb. Once I actually met a person who had gone to the same high school as me in Miami (although we had not known each other in Miami)-It's a small world after all.

The student ghetto is basically a lot of poorly redesigned hoses rented out by landlords who have figured out that since most of the students are supported by mommy and daddy they can charge $2,300 per month for a hall closet and outhouse.

If you ever need anything for your house just wait until the semester is over because when the students leave town the alleyways are well stocked and the dumpsters are ripe for diving. You can find anything from wool army pants, to furniture, from mini-fridges, to abandoned babies (well, maybe not the part about babies).

Read the Book, Then Come to See the Real Thing

O'Keefe: The Life of an American Legend

by Jeffrey Hogrefe

Amazon Price: (as of 10/11/2008)

Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta: A Postcard Book (Postcard Books)

by The Globe Pequot Press

Amazon Price: $7.95 (as of 10/11/2008)

John Marin in New Mexico

by Sharyn R. Udall

by Albuquerque Museum

Amazon Price: (as of 10/11/2008)

Old Town Albuquerque: A History of the Ancient Town at the Crossroads of the American Southwest

by Peter Hertzog, James C. Smith

Amazon Price: $4.95 (as of 10/11/2008)

The matchless mountains: Albuquerque's Sandias

by Tom Smylie

Amazon Price: (as of 10/11/2008)

The University Area, Part II, Coffee Shops

Peppered throughout the ghetto is an assortment of coffee houses where you can go, sit for six hours, drink twelve cups of coffee for $1.00 and leave a dime for a tip. I first tried coffee in Alb. In Miami we knew of no such things are coffee houses, not until the 1990s and beyond. When I first tried it I thought that it tasted like water filtered through charcoal. I used to drink coffee sweetened with honey, now it's all about some sugar and creamer (half and half is normative but hazelnut flavoring is preferred), it's not about amounts but about color (light tan please).

When I tasted French Roast I said, I think that it's just burnt regular coffee-turns out that I was right. When I heard of Café Americano I said, "What's that, watered down coffee?"-turns out that I was right.

But then a certain national chain hit the scene and people realized that coffee addicts would be willing to pay $75.00 for regular coffee. Then came the specialty drinks, you know, a double-soy-hazelnut-mochachino-white chocolate-whipped cream-cinnamon dust-DECAF.

The University Area, Part III, Used Goods and Not So Goods

Strewn throughout the ghetto are also used book stores where you can save 3% off of the original price on a book that was highlighted and scribbled upon by a homeless person. There are also used clothing stores.

No, not thrift stores, but we figured out another way to get money off of students stores. You see, you can sell your clothes to them and buy other ones. In other words, you sell the clothes that your mommy and daddy bought for you when they spent half a million dollars to send you to college, and you buy the clothes that you like, the clothes that the business proprietors found while dumpster diving after the last semester went to rehab, I mean, went home after graduating with high honors.

The University Area, Part IV, Ph.D. Bakery

Yeah, I worked at a bakery where the big joke was just how many of the employees had graduated college and were not in the upwardly mobile field of kneading dough.

This is where I learned to love Johnny Cash since we always knew when the owner of the bakery was in because he would always play Johnny Cash. I couldn't stand it but one day I thought it's going to be on all of the time and so every time it's on I'll either be aggravated or I'll get to like it. I did get to like it and Johnny is still just about the only country music I can stand since the modern stuff is really country-pop.

An interesting note about advertisement wars. The bakery made breads and bagels and a national bagel chain moved into town and placed an add in the local magazines that said, "Donuts Suck." The local bakery responded by placing an add that read, "Corporate Bagels Suck"-you gotta love it!

The University Area, Part V.a, Business, Health Food, Attitudes and Tattoos

Then there's that odd location where no one can seem to make a business last, it was seventeen failed coffee shops in a row and still someone sees that the space is for rent and they think I know, I'll open up a coffee shop right here!

There is also the obligatory health food store where they charge the most outrageous prices in town and if you complain they give you a guilt trip, "Well your either going to pay these prices or pay with your health." They lecture you about how in the amount of land that it takes to feed one cow you can grow 5,000,000,000 pounds of wheat and then they charge you $65.00 for a 3 ounce box of air puffed-multigrain-flavorless wheat flakes.

The best part about the student ghetto is that you can walk down the street and actually smile and say hi to somebody without them reaching for their mace spray, although a lot of that mace is made with hot peppers and so we would probably just spray it on our eggs for a little spicy morning pick-me-up. In fact, the last time I visited Miami I was wondering what was wrong with people, everyone was so down, so socially retarded and mean and then I remembered, "Oh yeah, I'm in Miami now!"

A student ghetto would simply not be a student ghetto if it did not have 27 tattoo/body-modification shops. I must say that this scene was never my cup of tea, even though it was most of my friend's cup of tea and even though there are three tattoos on people that I designed. I'm not sure why I never got into it; after all my friends would show me their new, and still bleeding tattoos. They could not talk due to their tongue piercing. They would tell me that they have seven piercings, but I could only see three of them. When they broke up with their insignificant other they had to start saving up to get a new tattoo to cover the old tattoo that said something like, "I love insert the name of the flavor of the week here," the good 'ol love of my life de jour.

The University Area, Part V.b, Business, Health Food, Attitudes and Tattoos

I just love hearing these tattoo/body-modification enthusiasts having a moment of clarity and attempting to justify their body art: "Dude, I've been doing this from way back before it was cool"-Well, dude a three thousand year old section of the Tanakh (Old Testament) mentions tattoos. "I'm just expressing my individualism"-Wow, is that why I could close my eyes, point my finger at random and end up pointing to someone who looks just like you? "I just do it for me, my tattoos are hidden from public view"-Then you must have accidentally put on a three-year-old's shirt that just happens to show off your cleavage tattoo, belly button tattoo and lower back tattoo.

I'm not really as hostile to the tattoo/body-modification scene as I sound but I'm really afraid of what will happen when this generation becomes elderly. Have you ever heard of the Antiques Road Show? Well, this generation is going to be the Antiques Side Show! Can you imagine, a bunch of old folks walking around with blue smudges and wrinkles where expensive tattoos once were? Imagine those cute little (and some not so little) piercings after four decades of gravity, "Grandpa can I swing off of your ear loop?" Yeah, after a few pregnancies and entropy that cute little Tweedy Bird flying around your belly button became Big Bird. And that cute little Finding Nemo fish turned into a puffer fish.

Actually, I really think that I know what the whole tattoo/body-modification movement is all about and they should just cut to the chase. They should just get a tattoo across their foreheads that say, "Hey, look at me!" or, "Please pay attention to me, I'm desperate for it!" or, "Don't you dare walk by me with being affected be me!" or, "Yeah, how cool am I huh?" or, "Yes, I plan to work at a coffee shop for the rest of my life!" or something to the like. Bottom line is that only two people care about your tattoos-you and the guy who is not going to hire you.

Education in Albuquerque

University of New Mexico: Learn here be good.
New Mexico State University: Or try to get much smart here.
Central New Mexico Community College: Formerly known as Alb. Technical Vocational Institute

A Quick Visit to Santa Fe (is about all you need)

To get to Santa Fe from Alb. the first thing to do is to sell your home and bring the money with you-Santa Fe is pricey.

Really, though you only have to take 25 north till you get there, less than an hour away. You could also take 14, which is nice because you catch it by driving all the way to the back of the Sandias and then head north on this road that is very flat, straight and takes you through some little towns along the way.

I really cannot say much about Santa Fe since when I go I visit the plaza and that is about it. Santa Fe's plaza is basically a larger version of Albuquerque's plaza in Old Town. Every other shop has either very expensive jewelry or very expensive artwork. Your best bet is to walk around a few times and stop off at a little place on one of the plaza's corners that serves ice cream, coffee, baked goods, pastries and lots of snack like eats-tell 'em Mariano sent you and they'll have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

Yet, an imperative is to go to the Roman Catholic Cathedral that is just off of the plaza and look at the middle stone at the top of the archway above the door. This stone is carved with a triangle and the Tetragrammaton-God's name in Hebrew as given to Moses as seen in Exodus chapter 3.

On Allergy Season, Sinuses and Surgery, Part I

One downside to Alb. is that with Spring comes the dreaded allergies season! Everything from trees to plants and yes from cats to chinchillas are potential culprits awaiting to be ensconced deep within your sinuses. As for plants, some say to eat local honey or bee pollen, in order to get an inoculation to local pollen. As for cats, well???

An acquaintance wanted to become a portrait photographer and so he offered to take portraits of our family for gratis. We went to his house and were taking a few of us together and he asked to take a few of my wife with the kids and then myself with the kids. As I sat on the couch waiting, and saying, "Hey, little guy, look at papa, smile baby girl," I noticed a sun-perch by the window and realized they have cats! I said, "So you have cats? We have about 15 minutes max." Needless to say that my acquaintance took some very good photos and yet, in most I have bags under my eyes, "Porque tenes ojuelas?" asked my mom when she saw them ("Why do you have bags under your eyes?").

What to do, what to do? Well, I went in to get allergy tested which is an interesting experiment. First, they draw a grid on your bare back. Next they have a container with various little compartments that contain liquid essence of various trees, plants, cats and mollusks, I think. Just kidding about the mollusks but one that they do have, and I'm dead serious is, essence of cockroach. As you ponder how on Earth they got roach juice comes the next step which is that they take needles and then, one by one, they dip a needle into the essence and then poke your back, one in each box of the grid on your back. Now you think, I can't believe that I'm paying a doctor to poke roach juice into my body! The point is that after a few minutes anything on your back that swells up denotes an allergic reaction. Me? Dust mites, cats and a few trees.

On Allergy Season, Sinuses and Surgery, Part II

Interesting point about allergies in the dry environment of Alb. is that dust collects in a rampant manner, forget dust bunnies, we have dust buffalo! Now, while growing up in Miami I never understood why my dad got mad whenever we plopped down on the couch or shook a blanket or something to the likes. But when I moved to Alb. and got a good dose of dust I understood, he had dust allergies even in Miami and I have it here.

My allergy to cats was a completely unexpected turn of events. I love cats, I have always been around cats, my friends had cats, my roommates had cats. One such cat Murgata, as she was named by my Brazilian roommate (derived from murcielago-bat, and gata-female cat) would, early in the morning, push her paw under the gap on the underside of my bedroom door so that I would let her in, or just push it open when I left it ajar, and she would lay in bed with me. Then, all of a sudden I became completely allergic to cats-just like that! So now, I still love cats but only at a distance-what can I do?

On Allergy Season, Sinuses and Surgery, Part III

Well, I ended up having sinus/septum surgery. This is not meant to cure allergies, but I had a very deviated septum and sinus issues. As I met with my doctor one day he was filling out a prescription and I asked him if the septum surgery would change the shape of my nose, after all it took generations to develop my shnoz. He paused for a moment, looked up and said, "Yes," then kept writing and looked up again and said, "But not on the outside." Yes, the purpose of the surgery is to change the shape of the inside I was asking about the outside! So, I'm thinking, "I'm gonna let this guy drill into my skull!?!"

The surgery went fine and it took a few days to recover. I was, of course, on painkillers but... It is very odd sleeping while on painkillers because your body does not feel sore and uncomfortable. I recall waking up on occasion thinking, "I should roll over, but I'm so comfortable." Thus, after about two days of motionless sleep my body was sore. In case of nausea or vomiting my doctor had prescribed suppositories. I had to choose between nausea or performing the dreaded insertion. Need I state that I gladly chose nausea? Besides you should see the bottle of suppositories, the directions state, and I'm not kidding in the least bit and here present a word for word quote in the original language and within its intended context, it states, "Insert 1 suppository per rectum every 4 hours as needed for nausea and vomiting"!!!!!!!! Did you catch that? How could you not? "...1 suppository per rectum..." I'm not sure if they thought that I may have more than one or if they thought that I might share and on second thought, I don't wanna know!

Chihuahuas, Good Watch Dogs, Bad Guard Dogs

From what I understand, Chihuahuas were bred in Mexico so that they could get into mouse holes and hunt them. This is why Chihuahuas are as big as mice. Don't just stereotype all Chihuahuas as yappy little nervous wrecks. For instance we had two Chihuahuas Rosie and Frankie, actually their full names are Rosie Dinky Doodle Bug and Frankenstein Wigglesworth (whom I called Frankie Malarkey).

Rosie is a mellow lap dog. She does not care to run around with the kids (except when they have food in their hands since they are low enough to the ground so that she can nip at their food). Frankie has enough energy that you could run a small city if you plugged him into the power plant. He bounces off of the walls and loves to run around with the kids.

Now, like the title states, Chihuahuas are good watch-dogs but bad guard-dogs. You see, they can let you know when something is going on, if they hear someone outside for instance, but they cannot do anything about it, except, perhaps, nibble on your ankle. Although in their own eyes they are saber-toothed mongrels.

If you go into the backyard when Rosie is out there she will start running back and forth barking at birds, the neighbors, roly-polys, etc. She is showing you that she is queen of the backyard. One time we were in the front yard when the neighbor's German Shepherd came out and Rosie started barking at him and kicking back her hind legs like a bull. Yet, as he got closer she seemed to realize that he seemed a lot smaller from afar and he got bigger as he got closer and she quickly quieted down and crouched as if in fear.

The Chihuahuas update is that Rosie was living with my wife and me and we had her litter-box trained. Her box was in the garage and we made her a little tiny opening in the door that led there. But when our first child was born she started having accidents all over the place and we gave her to my mother-in-law where she lives a very nice life of running around as queen of the backyard during the day and laying on my mother-in-law's lap at night. As for Frankie-it appears that someone got my mother-in-law's backyard and took him. Maybe he is in a nice place with plenty of kids to play with.

More on Eatery's Oddities, Part I

I cannot help but make some comments about two local eateries and a certain retail trend.

The eateries will remain anonymous although I must mention one particular menu item by name. One of the restaurants has an item called, "The Six Dollar Burger." First of all, who names a food item according to its price? "Yeah, I'll have the six dollar burger, a side of three dollar fries and four packets of twenty cent ketchup." I mean what marketing firm came up with this name? The Six Dollar Burger! Mmm, that sounds good! It makes my mouth water just hearing it. Actually it makes my wallet water! Anyhow, this culinary monstrosity consists of a burger patty that is about five inches thick topped with half a wheel of cheese, bacon and onion rings. Now, I know that you Atkins people are thinking, "Just wrap it in a tortilla and it'll be fine." Yeah, right! Incidentally, do you think that if they opened a franchise of this particular eatery in Israel they would have to call it the, "Six Shekel Burger," or more precicely, "Sheish Shekelim Burger?" Oh, but then it couldn't have cheese or bacon-keeping it kosher ya'll. Anyhow, when you go to order this cholesterol causing concoction you have to say, "I'll have the six dollar burger and an angioplasty." Actually, this restaurant is installing a defibrillator in every booth, "Mmm, this burger tastes good-urgh!!! It's the big one, I'm coming to join you Elizabeth!!!" Clear! Zaaap! "Mmm, tastes better the second time!" Actually, when you order it they ask for your insurance card. And you should see their motto, "Double Meat-Double Cheese-Double Bypass."

More on Eatery's Oddities, Part II

Now for the retail trend I wanted to comment on. You may be aware of suggestive selling. This is when you order a burger and they suggest buying the combo, or you are purchasing a car and they suggest purchasing various accoutrements, or you are buying a pizza and they suggest purchasing lobster as well. Ok so that's one trend, but the one I want to comment on is much more subtle and yes, it's a pet peeve.

You go to a deli restaurant, or a deli in the supermarket, or a barbeque joint, etc. and you say, "I would like one half pound of ______" (whatever it may be). They, very carefully cut it, slice it, weigh it and inevitably say, "It's a little over, it that alright?" To which we thoughtlessly reply, "Sure." Now, individually this may add up to fifty cents extra per order but multiply the few cents times every customer times every day and you see how it can add up. But it's not just nickels and dimes I'm talking about here. There is a certain barbeque joint where when you order the cashier tells the meat cutting person how much you want, as the meat cutter is cutting it, they are weighing it. Then the cashier gets the meat and weighs it again. Then they say, "It's a little over, it that alright?" Well, one time, "%u2026a little over%u2026" added up to $5.00, were talking $5.00 ove' heea! So now if I ask for a half a pound and they say, "It's a little over, it that alright?" I just smile and say, "Just a half a pound is fine," and then they pull like three slices of meat off of the pile and look at you as if to say, "What am I supposed to do with this?" Well, they should have thought about that before they tried to take this discerning shopper for a chump! Please pardon the petty nature of my pet peeves but a little victory over the man is still a little victory.

Albuquerque's Eateries

Come 'n' git it

List and Gift Certificates: This site does not list all Alb. restaurants, but it does provide a gift certificate service. Have friends in Alb.? Send them a certificate as a gift. Or send me one :o)
New Mexico Restaurant Association Official Site: Info., classes, books, etc., find them here.

Yo, Bro, Cholo-Differences and Similarities in Culture and Trends, Part I

There are some interesting aspects of moving from Miami to Alb. There are differences and some similarities, some semantic and some cultural. For instance in Miami, at least in the 1980s and 1990s, being "straight," meant that you were sober and did no illegal drugs at all, now "straight," means not gay. In Miami long haired, leather and spike ridden heavy metal fans were called "burnouts," here they are called "rockers." In Miami Hispanic hip-hop ganstas were called "Bros," (from what up bro?) here they are called "cholos." In Miami you were likely to hear second hand profanity while stopped at a traffic light from the car next to you blaring hip-hop (the Miami style is know as "bass," which is why back in the day Vanilla Ice rapped about Miami stating, "My town - created the bass sound") here you are more likely to hear a Spanish music, or rancheras, or mariachi. Some of this music sounds like Hispanic ska and some of it sounds like a circus came into town horns a blaring.

It's story time kids: I was at a city park with my son when a cholo and I found ourselves walking towards each other. Being my mild-mannered I said, "Hey, how you doin?" and he said, "Yo, what up daawg?" Well, I guess that this passes for a sentence now-a-days. I mean yo, what up daawg, I felt like telling him to have some respet [sic.] that's, "Mr. Daawg" to you, that's right, "Mr. Daawg!" I don't think that I look like the hip-hop type and I'm certainly not. I thought that Puff Daddy was the father of Puff the Magic Dragon. I thought that Puffy Combs was a breakfast cereal. I thought that Eminem was a candy that wouldn't melt in your hand. A cholo asked me, "Yo you down with Eminem?" and I answered, "Straight up g-money, the peanut ones are very tasty." I thought that DMX was a type of bicycle. I thought that Busta Rhymes was Leanne's husband. I thought that Fitty Cient (or Fifty Cent in English) was a monetary amount. Seriously though, we must give credit where credit is due because there are a lot of very talented rap artists. The way they rhyme cusswords together! Wow, that's really impressive!

Yo, Bro, Cholo-Differences and Similarities in Culture and Trends, Part II

Another odd thing about the local hip-hop culture is their apparel. The wear XXXXXXL shirts, size 72 pants, jacket that are so big that they look like a cape, sideways baseball caps, and big floppy shoes with untied laces-in other words, they look like little children wearing hand-me-downs. And the gals wear clothing that would embarrass Daisy Duke.

One cultural difference between Argentina and the USA is that when I was a child and a tooth fell out we would put it under our pillows and the Teeth Mice would come to retrieve it and leave us some pesos (later called Australes, next called who knows what). The USA, with it quirky fear of infestation has, the Tooth Fairy. Also, we were left to try to pronounce the names of toy and movies in Spanish (or Castilian in Arg.). For instance G.I. Joe sounded like Jche Yee Jchoe. R2D2 (from Star Wars) was Erre Dos Dedos and C3PO was Ce Tres Peo. The Six Million Dollar Man was El Hombre de 12 Millones de Pesos (adjusting for inflation, I suppose). Incidentally, one time my parents bought my brother and me toys-he got The Six Million Dollar Man and I got Oscar, his boss. My brother gets the hero with the exchangeable multi-functional arms and the viewing lens in his eye (so that you could put your eye to the back of his head and see an amplified image) and I got a guy in a suit and tie with a suitcase! The only thing Oscar did is that if you tried to open the suitcase the wrong way the lid would pop off and there was a sticker inside that made it look as if it was burnt form blowing up.

Yo, Bro, Cholo-Differences and Similarities in Culture and Trends, Part III

Another difference between Argentina and the USA is sports. Back in the 1970s we actually had no idea at all that there was any such thing as baseball, football or basketball. We simply didn't know that they existed. We played soccer, field hockey and rugby. But now Argentina also enjoys baseball and why not? Imagine discovering that there is a sport in which you actually sit down for half of the game and spend the other half standing out on the field just in case a ball happens to come your way once every half hour. What about football? Watta you mean that I have to play both offense and defense? That sounds like two jobs! Call the union! Imaging one team to play half of the game and another team to play the other half! Oh, and one guy, all he does is kick the ball!

In Argentina you wouldn't think of going to visit someone in their home without stopping at a little bakery for some goodies first. These little shops make all sorts of goodies, many of which are filled with, or topped with, dulce de leche. Dulce de leche is often likened to caramel, but caramel is basically melted sugar while dulce de leche is more akin to condensed milk. This tradition is probably why when my paternal grandfather came to visit us in Miami he fell in love with donuts (or donus as he pronounced it). One day, while my parents went to work, my siblings and I were home with grandpa (for whatever reason we used to refer to our paternal grandparents by their first names and our maternal ones as abuela and abuelo) when we told him that we should get some pizza. But how, he puzzled, we don't have a car here-no problem. We explained that all we had to do was call the pizza joint and they would deliver it to us-WOW! He was amazed and then we told him that if it took more than one half hour it would be free-WOW! He was astonished.

Corporate Life in Albuquerque, Part I

I work in an office which is a very strange and interesting world. One amusing thing is watching people come in to be interviewed for a job. They come in looking immaculate in their business apparel and their perfect hair. If they get hired they come in looking just about the same, for a few days. But certainly by weeks end they come in wearing a belt for a skirt, a shirt that's up to their neck, or for workout guys-a shirt that is so tight that their fingers are turning blue, and an eyeball piercing.

Another odd aspect of office life is the iron fist of the politically correct (PC) movement. No, we cannot have a Christmas dance because only 99.9% of the employees celebrate Christmas and we certainly don't want anyone getting offended by facing the fact that 99.9% of the employees celebrate Christmas. Watch out when someone sneezes 'cause if you say, "God bless you," they might file a lawsuit with the ACLU (you know, the lawyers who attack the Boy Scouts and the Ten Commandments but protect pedophiles and terrorists). How far does the fear of PC go? For our yearly talent show I perform stand-up comedy and my routine must be pre-approved. I have to sit there with an HR rep. and tell them the jokes I plan to tell. This last time around one of my jokes was censored. I have attempted to make my writings about Life in Albuquerque family friendly but I must tell this omni-offensive joke that was deemed worthy of censorship.

Corporate Life in Albuquerque, Part II

Here we go, tell your children and pets to go to the next room for a couple of minutes 'cause here it comes:
"Don't ever buy a TV from the black-market. I thought I was getting a great deal on a plasma screen TV but it turned out to be white blood cells."
I can't tell whether you laughed or cried but besides being incredibly funny did you catch just how incredibly offensive it was? No? What was the HR rep. taking objection to? Well, believe it or not, and it certainly is something that I never would have thought of, I said black market and some people might make a connection between the black market and black people. Wow! I guess this is why my place of business has professional, highly trained and skilled HR reps. because sometimes you have to work very hard to find something to become offended by. Not being particularly prideful I set my artistic integrity aside and asked if I could change black market to "buy a TV off of the streets," but again, no, since someone may still connect the term streets with black people. Ok what about "buy a TV from a pawn shop," but still, black markets, streets, pawn shops equals ghetto and ghetto equals black people. To tell you the truth it is these PC explanations as to why the joke should be censored that are racist. Another comment was that the joke not only mentioned black but also state white blood cells, and may, in the minds of some race-aphobes this would be pitting black against white and we may end up with a race riot in the lunchroom. I offered to change white blood cells to red blood cells, but this time I stopped myself and said, "Or would the term red blood cells offend Native Americans?" Needless to say, the joke was censored and not revised-but now I have the joke and the story to go along with it.

Yes indeed, the PC movement has some people so paranoid that you cannot say "Have a Merry Christmas," but have to say "Have a non-emotion specific not particularly religious time off of work seasonage." Some schools are making kids sing, "Frosty the non-gender specific snow personage." And there is a new super hero named "Super Non-Gender Specific Personage."

Corporate Life in Albuquerque, Part III

Since I work in an office (composed of a couple of hundred people) there are about 1 male for every 87 females. Now, this is going to sound generalized, stereotyped and typecasted but women seem to engage in some odd behavior at work. Some seem to think that they come into work a professional in a business office to attend group therapy-everything is a drama and they look at each other like they are smelling onions. Then there are the gossip clans. Recently, all employees were given access to e-mail, what a waste, if you want to get information to the other side of the building with lightning fast speed just tell one of the gals and it will be around the building twice before you are even done with the sentence.

Then there's the lunchroom or, as I call it, the chicken coop. Sorry, but when you walk in your senses are assaulted by the volume of the chatter, the clucking and the two TV sets that are both set to two different soap operas. I find that the lobby is the quietest place in the building where I can sit and read during breaks and lunch. The only drawback is that the lobby is also the place where upset customers let the expletives fly if they are upset by something.

Corporate Life in Albuquerque, Part IV

Then there are the smokers who seem to think that since they have an addiction they can take 27 breaks per day. Plus, there's the added bonus of having them come to talk to you with ashtray breath. I wonder, if I developed an addiction, would the company invite me to get my fix at work? Actually, I do have an addiction-I'm addicted to placebos!

The strange thing about the office is that some people have no social skills at all and some have no etiquette at all. When you walk down the hallways many people are walking while looking straight down. Makes me feel like saying, "You must really like your shoes," or, "Did you drop something?" Then there are those people who seem incapable of alternating their attitude, behavior and language to the situation. It's as if they really cannot discern between being on a street corner, a party, their own living-room couch and a business office.

What about the guys in the work place? Well, they are too busy exchanging secret codes for video games and ordering pizza.

So What'ya Think?

Please Be Kind

Chrissy

I enjoyed reading this! I was born and raised in Albuquerque and I found this really interesting and funny.

Posted July 13, 2008

kris

a native - I laughed a lot - interesting read from someone transplanted here. As for Baca's haven't they gone out of business yet? There are so many New Mexican restaurants that are so much better. Charlies on Wyo & Menaul for one. And so many others.

Posted May 07, 2008

Gayle

This is great! I haven't read it all yet, but I am going to save it in my favorites, so I can come back later.

http://www.squidoo.com/artistonthemesa

Posted February 18, 2008

DigitalDave

I appreciated and enjoyed this blog. Thank you for telling it like it is in Albuquerque. I grew up in San Diego which was nice but is now getting overpriced and overcrowded like L.A. When I visited Albuquerque, I felt something like I felt in San Diego when it was only 500,000 people. So someday I may move. I've only visited Albuquerque twice, and was a tourist confused by red and green chiles, but the vibe was very friendly. I did make an amazing discovery in Santa Fe of some hot potato rolls with butter that were called Sopapillas. When I got back to California, people didn't know what I was talking about. People here say "It's a Tex-Mex thing." I say, "No. It was in New Mexico." A friend went home to Texas and brought back what he called "Sopapillas", and they were merely Empanadas with cinnamon. So i guess someday I will move to New Mexico and leave these people with their illusions, and enjoy real Sopapillas and good vibes.

Posted January 28, 2008

Justin Koch

Albuquerque Born and raised

I totally loved reading all this information very easy for me to relate toatally awesome

Posted December 19, 2007

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New Mexico Cuisine, Is it "Hot," or "Hot"? Is it "Chili," or "Chile"?, Part IV

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On Allergy Season, Sinuses and Surgery, Part II

On Allergy Season, Sinuses and Surgery, Part III

Chihuahuas, Good Watch Dogs, Bad Guard Dogs

More on Eatery's Oddities, Part I

More on Eatery's Oddities, Part II

Albuquerque's Eateries

Come 'n' git it

Yo, Bro, Cholo-Differences and Similarities in Culture and Trends, Part I

Yo, Bro, Cholo-Differences and Similarities in Culture and Trends, Part II

Yo, Bro, Cholo-Differences and Similarities in Culture and Trends, Part III

Corporate Life in Albuquerque, Part I

Corporate Life in Albuquerque, Part II

Corporate Life in Albuquerque, Part III

Corporate Life in Albuquerque, Part IV

So What'ya Think?

Please Be Kind