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Lifes Greatest Mysteries

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Points to Ponder

Here's some interesting points to ponder. Sometimes I lie awake at night just thinking about life's greatest mysteries.

Are there answers to these questions? Or does wisdom truly come with age?

Enjoy this collection and if you have one that's not listed here, add it at the end in the comments box.

And ask yourself this: Who's dumber- a semi-illiterate or a semi-literate?

Life's Greatest Mysteries

Why do they call them vineyards and not grapeyards or grape farms?
What is so great about sliced bread?
What really is the greatest thing since sliced bread?
What is the greatest thing before sliced bread?
Shouldn't it be the greatest thing since the bread slicer?
Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage.
Why don't marriage licenses expire?
Do babies think adults are cute?
If some people are "overwhelmed", are the rest of us "whelmed"?
Why are there no "B" size batteries?

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Life's Greatest Mysteries

Bakers bake so why don't butchers butch?
Who's dumber: a semi-illiterate or a semi-literate?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?
Can you still call it a irregularity if you have it regularly?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
What's the youngest you can be to die of old age?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
Why can't we tickle ourselves?

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Life's Greatest Mysteries

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If procrastinators had a club would they ever have a meeting?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

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Life's Greatest Mysteries

Shouldn't life insurance be called death insurance?
Shouldn't we boycott buying all pet foods if they're tested on animals?
Why does it take a lot of noise to get a bit of peace and quiet?
Why does everyone turn the radio down in the car when they're trying to find an address?
How come cockroaches always end up on their backs when they die?
Why is a newspaper more interesting when someone else is reading it?
Why don't Scotch Finger biscuits take like scotch?
We have peanut butter, so why not peanut margarine?
What's the difference between a fat chance and a slim chance?
How does a fool and his money get together?

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Life's Greatest Mysteries

Why is it that car manufacturers bring out thousands of new vehicles every year but nobody brings out new car parking spots?
How do you ruin an appetite? You always seem to have more.
Why is it that a bank won't lend you money unless you can prove that you don't really need it.
Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
Which of us is the opposite sex?
Why do we say 'dirt cheap' when land is anything but?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Where are all the baby seagulls and pigeons?
How come no matter what happens on any given day, it all fits exactly into the newspaper?
If we aren't supposed to eat animals why are they made of meat?

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Life's Greatest Mysteries

Why do they always start off the evening news with "Good evening" when all they do is tell you why it isn't ?
Why doesn't your foot stay up all night if it falls asleep during the day?
Before money was invented, what did women find attractive about men?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why, when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, and when you transport something by ship, it's called a cargo?
Can you permanently ruin an appetite?
Has it ever been reported that a person in hospital is in an 'unserious' condition?
Why do people say "Gee the sun's hot today", when the sun is always a few billion degrees Celsius?
Do ants like sugar because it's sweet or because it comes in compact easy to carry grains?

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Life's Greatest Mysteries

When you're North of the equator water swirls clockwise down the drain. When you're South of the equator water swirls counter-clockwise down the drain. What does it do right on the equator?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

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Life's Greatest Mysteries

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?
Do clowns wear really big socks?
Do computer files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?
Why do scientists call it "re"search when looking for something new?
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits, and then complain that he's not the man she married?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does that mean the fifth person enjoys it?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

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Life's Greatest Mysteries

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Why is a wise man and a wise guy opposite?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do?
Do fish get thirsty?
If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it?
If time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don't fill in?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?