Lindemans 2007 Bin 65 Chardonnay

Parodying wine reviews isn't popular, but I think it should be.

.....ripe toey tones with hints of mackerel and a finish like a bride's wedding night...

Hmmm, perhaps all the flowery stuff is sufficiently self-parodying that it isn't worth the effort, but there's a wider point which is: wine is in the taste buds of the beholder. Which is why so much of the fun of wine is experimenting, because you never quite know what hidden delight hides beneath the cork (or increasingly thesedays, the screwtop.)

Still, most of us are creatures of habit, and tend to return to what we know. Buying and tasting all kinds of exotics is enticing in theory, but even rugged adventurers come home once in a while.

Which is why the wine aisle of my local SuperTarget here in Sarasota, Florida, was such an odd place for a homecoming for this South Australian wine traveller. In constricted economic times, one's pricepoint of interest declines somewhat. In doing so I found an old friend from back home, a bottle of Lindemans Bin 65, 2007 edition.

Significant that there was only ONE bottle remaining, because the price was from another hemisphere: $5.99 plus tax. Value for money, this was easily the best deal in the store, a fact clearly recognized by shoppers before me.

A few hours later, suitably chilled against the Floridian winter warmth, I had two glasses. New world wines, even mass-produced labels like this, are smart for the palate and the wallet.

There is no way you or I can find out where the grapes of which our Bin 65 chardonnay is made came from. Although it's called a "South Eastern Australian" wine, that area is large enough to cover half of the major grape-growing areas, and half of he country's population. It's meaningless. The entire bottling might be from grapes from the Riverina, or Cowra, or any of a dozen different areas.

(Here's a link to Australian Wine regions.)

In France, where the provenance of the fruit is everything, winemakers work within the rules of their appelation. They have to work with the fruit they're given. In Australia, there are no such restrictions. The result is that winemakers there tend to look at things from the point of view of the end product, ie: how can we make a readily drinkable chardonnay that will stay that way for three years, for less than seven dollars at the retail level, and still make a profit. In a way, French and Aussie winemakers view their business from different ends of the bottle, and it makes for interesting comparisons.

The most important of these is the one I mentioned. Buy a bottle of Muscadet to drink with your Sydney Rock Oysters, and you can pinpoint - from the label and a good wine atlas - where the grapes were grown. Indeed, should you want to, you could taste several bottles of Muscadet, and compare the way the individual winemakers have made use of grapes from slightly different vineyards.

However, if you drink Lindemans Bin 65 with your oysters, there will be no such intrigue. The drink will be just as enjoyable, but the wine's heritage will only be apparent from corporate culture and comparison to previous vintages.

Each has its advantages. With the French way, there might be huge variation in the way the wine tastes from year to year. This will not happen to nearly the same degree with the Australian chardonnay, because it's made to a taste/price formula. The grapes are chosen with the end in mind, rather than the other way around.

The philosophies couldn't be more different.

Florida is not designed for wine drinkers. Without airconditioning, it's too hot for heavier red wines, and keeping white wine cool is a problem. In the same way that wine tastes different at altitude (think of flying, and how subtleties are lost) it changes character in the humid air of America's south too.

Setting aside my latent wine snob, there is one way to keep white wine cool - the dreaded ice-cubes in the glass. I know, I know, it's sacrilege. But until the invention of a wine-glass that chills, it's the only way. And is it really such a big deal if the wine is six bucks a bottle? Or even ten?

There is a local rule of thumb that makes sense. Store white wine in the fridge, and remove it fifteen minutes before drinking. Store red wine in the coolest part of the house, and place in the fridge for thirty minutes before drinking.

Purists might choke, but here in the meta-tropics, it's a decent work-around.

My favourite wine writer and critic, Jancis Robinson.

If you are quite serious about learning more, buy Jancis and Hugh Johnson's World Atlas of Wine (pictured.) What isn't included isn't worth knowing. I picked mine up in sale for $10.00 because it was slightly damaged, but boy, is it beautifully written.

More to learn about wine? This might be a start. It's a messy site but with some interesting features if you poke around.

This is a decent, regularly updated wine review site focussing on cheap wines, without much pretension.

Few decent, down-to-earth wine sites exist. Many are vehicles for dreaded Google ads, or are rarely updated, or simply don't know what they're talking about. Pity.