Listening Skills are an Essential Communication Skill
You need to hear what's being said.
God gave us two ears but only one mouth.
Do you ever wonder why?
How we Listen
The cows are blocking the road.
2. Understanding what was said - To understand we must place meaning on what was said.
Okay, if the cows are blocking the road, they are no longer in the pasture. Either the fence is down or the gate was left open.
3. Judgment - Once you understand what's been said, we determine the validity of the statement. Do you believe the cows are on the road? Once that's been processed it's just a hop and skip to determining how it will affect us.
If the cows are on the road, we need to round them up and get them back into the pasture.
We slide from one step to the next without conscious thought. Stumbling blocks to effective listening can happen at any point in the process.
Learn to Listen - How to Tune in Before Someone Tunes You Out
Learn to Listen - How to Tune in Before Someone Tunes You Out (Business User's Manual)
Amazon Price: (as of 07/10/2009)
Most people are poor listeners. They are too busy thinking about what they want to say to pay much attention to what is being said to them. Those who understand the dynamics of the communication process have a huge advantage. Jim Dugger's Learn to Listen teaches you how to overcome the barriers that keep you from becoming a good listener.
Act like a Good Listener
Focus on the speaker. Don't let your eyes wander around the room or settle on something just past the speaker's shoulder. Eye contact is essential.
The same goes for your mind. Don't let it wander. Think about your to-do list later.
Let the speaker finish before responding. When you interrupt, it looks like you were not listening, even if you were.
Listen for the main ideas or key point. Pay particular attention to statements that start with "My point is ..."
Ask questions. If you don't understand what the speaker said, ask for clarification. It will save a lot of aggravation later on.
Your body language should reflect the fact that you're listening. Eye contact is a big one. Smile or nod at the appropriate times.
Pay attention to the speaker's body language. It may convey more than his words. If the speaker says he wasn't insulted by your words, but his body language shouts "Insult!" you know he was insulted and is taking in personally. You will be able to respond appropriately rather than adding to the speaker's displeasure.
Give feedback. Dialog is communication between two or more people.
Keep the conversation going!
Listening: The Forgotten Skill
Listening: The Forgotten Skill: A Self-Teaching Guide (Wiley Self-Teaching Guides)
Amazon Price: $12.89 (as of 07/10/2009)
Listening: The Forgotten Skill is an excellent book. Instead of focusing on why we need to learn to listen, Madelyn Burley-Allen shows you how to become a better listener. It will be beneficial in both business and in interpersonal relationships.
Being told you are a good listener is a fine compliment.
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Are you a good listener?
JaguarJulie wrote...
So true! We all could take a few lessons and refresher courses on how to listen --- AND --- how to say thank you! ;)
Posted May 15, 2009
Aquavel wrote...
Great lens! Lots of times I have to remind myself to listen. Particularly when the topic is one of great interest and I feel I have something important to contribute, I end up speaking and paying more attention to how it was received than what others are saying. I'm guilty of doing exactly what Margo wrote below.
Posted February 02, 2009
About the Author
Lensmaster ElizabethJeanAllen, aka Lizzy Jean, has been a member since March 16 2008, has rated 3,690 lenses, favorited 454, and has created 165 lenses from scratch. Lizzy Jean donates their royalties to Squidoo Charity Fund. This member's top-ranked page is "The Mallard Duck". See all my lenses
A Little Book of Listening Skills
A Little Book of Listening Skills: A Collection of Essential Practices For Conveying Genuine Love and Respect
Amazon Price: (as of 07/10/2009)
A Little Book of Listening Skills is filled with simple yet thought provoking ideas on how to be a better listener. Anyone can learn to listen objectively and effectively. A Little Book of Listening Skills will help you along the way.
by ElizabethJeanAllen
I tell my students to Learn from the Past, Live in the Present, and Plan for the Future. With Squidoo I can do all three.
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