Great Listening = Great Coach = Successful Entrepreneur

Listening on the surface looks to be a very tangible action. When you look up the definition of the word you find things like: Hearing (or audition) is one of the traditional five senses. It is the ability to perceive sound by detecting vibrations via an organ such as the ear. The inability to hear is called deafness. However, as you move deeper into personal development you start learning that listening is something much more intangible; it is not all about hearing sounds through our ears. It is more about hearing and feeling energy through our other senses - intuitive especially.

I was fortunate to have been invited to a talk with Ellie Drake through my association with Renegade University Ellie Drake is an amazing successful Entrepreneur who moved from Iran to America in 1990. She initially went to school to be a doctor but realized she wasn't following her passion and instead went into Network Marketing and then into Internet Marketing. She has personally signed up over 1000 people. To be this successful, she must be worth listening too!

She said that for someone to become successful that they must be a good coach and for anyone to be a good coach she said one needs to learn to listen.

There are 9 tips that Ellie Drake shared with listeners.

Listen to your deeper purpose, hear the little voice inside. If you aren't able to hear this you will not be able to hear what information your client is giving through other avenues than the words they speak.

Verses sympathetic or assumptive. Sympathetic listening is when someone is there for the other individual speaking; they are hearing and providing feedback that agrees with the speaker however they are only hearing the words and not necessarily the authentic part of the conversation being delivered with nuances of feelings and emotions. Assumptive listening is where we hear the words and then make assumptions based on the words that are being said and are discounting any feeling or real meaning underneath. Empathic listening you connect with what you hear, with your gut, with your feelings and with your heart. This becomes a very "right brain" activity.

The questions you ask should lead to solutions rather than asking questions that will get the client focused on negative experiences.

If we are too busy thinking about what we are going to say in response to what our clients are saying we will miss something and provide incorrect feedback. Ensure that you are in harmony with your client even if that means some short pauses prior to providing your feedback.

Put your personal agenda aside. Learn how to work authentically from your purpose and not from "making the sale". This tip needs to be paid attention to at all times, while writing emails, shooting video or speaking directly to someone we need to get connected to why we are doing what we are doing and disconnect from any attachment to the end result or the sale.

Again, with this tip as well, it is important to pay attention to this at all times --- even over the phone and writing emails. The state of mind you are in will be reflected in your voice, in your writing, and as well if you are face to face with someone. When your muscles are tightened the muscles of your throat tighten thereby changing the pitch of your voice.

This is very close to the previous tip; others will be able to pick up that you are tense if you let your facial muscles tighten up. Ellie mentioned studies about magnetism and how the muscles above eyebrows communicate this.

Obviously there is a balance to this, you don't want your client talking on and on taking the conversation all over the place; however you want to ensure you are not interrupting their train of thoughts and emotions on the subject either. You only want to interrupt to make sure you understand them. So you might say, "What I am hearing you say is" or perhaps "Let me make sure I understand where you are coming from" And then you summarize where they are. This will get the conversation back on track.

Many systems have scripts available and are encouraged. Be sure that you are putting some of YOU into these templates. Be careful not to reinvent the wheel but it is extremely important that you are you. If you are not emitting your true authentic self you will be unable to lead others to developing themselves. It is extremely difficult to truly listen when you are not being authentic.

As you are able to put these tips into action and as you continue to develop and grow yourself you will find that you are able to find the clients and business partners that provide you a win-win relationship.