My Life as a Writer

Short stories are often harder for me than novels. I learned a lot about editing from the editor of this anthology. My story was so changed from the original, I barely recognized the final product. But she hacked and shaped my story into something acceptable to the publisher, and that's what a good editor does.

I enjoyed my years as a nurse. My memories of those years are a fine mix of humorous, poignant, sorrowful, and inspiring. I'm proud one of my stories made this fine anthology. Mine was far from being the most memorable, however. Some of the stories in the anthology are hair raising or uproarious.

If you know a nurse, this would be an ideal gift. (I'm not being a salesman for my own gain here. I was paid up front for my story so reap no further harvest from sales.)

In 2000, the deaths of my mother and grandparents were still fresh pains. Memories of my life with them stayed at the forefront of my mind every waking hour.

I found myself jotting thoughts in a notebook, writing poems, reminiscing. One fall afternoon while napping, I dreamed Grandpa called me with a message from beyond the grave. He said, "Grass dance." That made no sense to me until I saw a program on PBS about the Native American grass dance and what it signifies. That was my catalyst. It gave me my title, my purpose, and the resolve to buckle down to the writing process. Sometimes the oddest things kickstart the process!!

With this book I had an agent that required payment up front. You writers more experienced than I was then know paying your agent up front is a no-no, verboten.
We learn from our mistakes.

The Grass Dance got rave reviews and a few pans to keep me humble. It's still the favorite of many of my fans who related strongly to the message. I've tried not to disappoint them with subsequent books because a small fan base is superior to no fans at all!! I'm thankful for the loyal fans of my work.

I started The Alley of Wishes in the early 1980s. A New York agent had accepted me as a client based on the rough draft of this manuscript. A major New York publisher accepted the manuscript for consideration. Life intervened. (That story is grist for another lens.) Twenty years passed before I began working on this manuscript again. Time and experience told me the story was all wrong so I edited and revised, revised and edited until the novel had a different tone, purpose, and completely different main characters.

The Alley of Wishes is the book of my heart. Every writer has a favorite and this one is mine. Any of you who read my lens, "Beck's Love Lessons," know the reason this book exists.

I initially self-published this book. Then, miracle of miracles, a publisher asked if she could contract to release it with a different cover but the contents unchanged. I jumped at the chance. Alley in it's current form received wonderful reviews and was nominated for the Faulkner Award in American Fiction. It didn't win, but my mother would have been SO PROUD!! This fictional book exists because of her and is a testament to the power of love in all its forms.

Writing a book about the human spirit was difficult for me. My process is to put myself in the heart and mind of each character, become them to make the story seem real. That's why it took me two decades to perfect it. Not that it's perfect, but it's as close to perfection as my capabilities allowed.

A quote from Yeats drove the creative process of this book: "....if it does not seem a moment's thought, the stitching and unstitching have been nought. ..."

I stitched and unstitched every part of The Alley of Wishes until it said what I wanted it to say.

A writer in Texas, Stephen Sulik, asked if I would consider creating a book of poetry with him. His original idea was that his poems would be hard, reflecting his experiences as a Texas policeman, and mine would be soft. Yin and Yang, right? We realized right away that my poems were raw. He was the dreamer in this poetic pairing, not me.

We found a publisher right away, which is not always easy for poetry manuscripts. The royalties were great, the publisher helpful. We were thrilled. Sales weren't great, but decent for a poetry book.

Yeah. The sky fell in. Writers and poets have to be prepared for that contingency. Our wonderful publisher went belly up and our poetry book is no longer in print. Still, the process of writing and collating a poetry book was a good exercise and experience for us both.

My uncle suggested a good way of spreading my wings as a writer would be to try writing creative non-fiction. He thought a story about his parents' life would be interesting. After all, they both came from humble beginnings but lived through a large part of the 20th century. They experienced two World Wars, the Great Depression, and Viet Nam. They saw the advent of electricity, the telephone, indoor plumbing, air travel, radio, women's suffrage, modern medicine, and television. Both were fascinating people in their own right -- humorous, opinionated, and well-read -- so developing them as main characters was actually fun.

At first, the spirit was willing and the flesh weak. I just simply COULD NOT make this book work. My uncle had provided me with the ideal framework in the form of audio and video tapes of my grandma telling stories about her life. Finally, the light dawned. I stopped trying to tell her story from my point of view and revised it to a first person memoir. To do that, I had to walk in her shoes, see through her eyes, become her. The story lived because Grandma Esther Clara told it.

I brought Herb and Esther Clara back to life in this book, with Grandma's help and a lot of collaborative effort with my uncle. (I further memorialized their life and times in my lens, "Economy Lessons.") They weren't rich or famous, but have always been my heroes. Their story was nominated for the Kansas Notable Book Award but did not win. I wanted it to win, not to honor or praise myself but to honor them because they were so exceptionally strong and brave.

A fellow reviewer at Midwest Book Review asked me to work with her on a special project for Amazon e-books. These are downloads directly from Amazon to your computer. She thought answering questions from writers might be helpful to them.

Unknown writers have a really tough time getting their work reviewed. Before I had to cut back on reviewing, I read dozens of books and wrote reviews for same every month. The supply of new books and authors is endless and they all struggle to get their work reviewed. Major reviewers in newspapers and literary periodicals rarely review books by unknown writers published by small presses. I'm not suggesting you stop soliciting reviews from major reviewers, but you do need to be prepared to be either ignored or rejected.

This was yet another new experience for me, another collaboration and different style of writing. I did it for the experience.

I GUESS THE WORST SHOCK WAS DISCOVERING BOOK STORES WOULD NOT BE CLAMORING TO STOCK MY BOOKS!!

A couple independent bookstores in Wichita KS -- several hours away from where I live -- agreed to stock a couple of my books on consignment with mixed results. But they were gracious and helpful so I can't complain. But the major chains made no bones about it. The buyers who replied just said NO. The reasons for this were simple and straightforward:
1. I was an unknown author and therefore no one would be looking for my book.
2. My books were published by print-on-demand companies, not well known publishers.
3. Small book stores in my local area could not afford to order unknown books and were not interested in consignment.

BOOK SIGNING OPPORTUNITIES WERE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN.

At first I contacted book stores, libraries, organizations about book signings. Tooting my own horn has always been difficult for me, but I got my nerve up and made some contacts. Some were kind and let me down gently, said they'd "be in touch" if they ever wanted a book signing. Most were assertive and up front by just saying NO. For awhile such rejection gave me a complex, then I discovered a truth that has served me well: Word of mouth would be my best friend as a writer.

People interested in my books began to contact me for personal appearances and book signing events. All I had to do is show up, gab with people, and bring books.

EVERY BOOK I WRITE DOES NOT NECESSARILY APPEAR ON AMAZON.COM.

Book #1 was on Amazon a long time at a good price. Then for reasons I can't explain, the publisher raised the price by $7, had a disagreement with Amazon, and now none of their books can be purchased on Amazon. That's a death knell for any unknown writer who relies on this huge online book store for sales. However, Barnes and Noble still features that particular book.

BOOK PRICING IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED.

Duma Key by Stephen King sells for 7.99 on Amazon.
The Road by Cormac McCarthy sells for 7.99 on Amazon.
The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks, not yet released, sells for 11.19 on Amazon.

These are all best sellers, of course, written by literary icons, so I had to come to grips with reality. By comparison, my top three books sell for 19.95, 17.95, and 16.95. Most people won't buy a book at those prices, especially with the economy being what it is.

HOW WELL MY BOOKS SELL IS MY RESPONSIBILITY.

I must market myself, network, and publicize my books.

The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Time, Newsweek, USA Today, and National Public Radio reviewers will not come knocking at my door. Neither will the Washington County News, the Marysville Advocate, or Topeka Capitol Journal.
Hollywood and television movers and shakers won't be contracting to make movies out of my books.

Foreign markets won't magically discover my books and beg to publish them outside the U.S.

Whatever happens with my writing, I must be the one to make it happen. That may not be true for every as-yet-unknown writer, but it's true for me.

This was by far the biggest challenge in my writing life to date.

Earth Song is an old manuscript that has languished in my files for years. It originally started as an experiment and gradually transformed into a book. Once again, I incorporate childhood memories of life with my mother and grandparents as prominent influences. The book is an assortment of related stories, photos, and poems arranged by topic.

I decided to bypass the agent and publisher search with this one. I no longer have the strength or patience to send out query letters and wait for responses that may or may not arrive. That's a bad attitude for a writer to have, but it's where I am at this juncture of my life. Right now, the words I write and the experience gleaned supercedes everything else.

Amazon recently formed a new publishing company in collaboration with BookSurge, called CreateSpace. A writer friend had published several books through CreateSpace and encouraged me to try that route.

I'm accustomed to doing all the editing and revising needed before submitting a manuscript to a publisher for cover graphics, layout, and printing. With this book, I had to do all that myself. Yes, I had to lay out the book's interior and make sure the margins were justified. And I had to create my own cover. A skilled graphic artist I'm not!!

So far, sales are less than brisk. But the book is listed on Amazon and I can buy copies at a good discount. PLUS, I gained a great deal of experience by publishing with CreateSpace.