Natural consequences are those things that happen as a result of your child's behavior or choice *without* your involvement,such as if you're mean to your friend, she won't want to play with you next time. What you describe above is actually logical
consequences (the natural consequence would be if you bang on the table, it will break). They are useful if the natural consequences isn't reliable enough (e.g. that friend may *not* choose not to play with the child the next time, or the table may *not* break this time) or are too severe (e.g. the natural consequence for running in the street is getting hit by a car!!).

A logical consequence is a result that is directly related to the behavior that you impose. So, for instance, if you are dealing with banging on the table, you take away the table...but most often,
this is impractical. So instead, the child is taken away *from* the table.

However, before relying on either natural *or* logical consequences, it may be that you need to do 3 other things. First of all, be sure that you have explicit rules as to what is or is not
allowed. If your child is going from one disallowed thing to another, it may be that your rules are not clear enough. Also, make sure that your rules are few and fair. It's not reasonable to expect
a 3-year-old to sit quietly for hours on end, for instance (I'm *not* saying that this is what you are doing--just an example). And,lastly, teach your child what *to* do, and not what *not* to
do. Keep in mind, in this regard, that the end of a sentence is more likely to be remembered than the beginning (this is true of adults as well as children). So when you say, "Don't bang on the table" the *least* salient part of the sentence a few minutes later is the "don't"! Research has shown that adults are more likely to remember and understand instructions correctly when worded in the
positive. So instead, say, "Here; if you want to bang, use your drum." Instead of "don't hit the dog" say, "pet the dog gently." Etc.

With a young child, two rules may be all that she/he can manage--don't hurt people or animals, and don't hurt things. Is banging on the table really going to hurt it? In most cases, probably not. If you have a table that is very fragile and *could* be hurt, the solution may be to remove the table or the child. Keep the door to the room with the table closed, or put up a baby gate in the doorway.

There is plenty of time for a child to learn to handle fragile items gently; age 3 or 4 is usually *not* the best time for this lesson!

Playing with Little Tikes is fun for the rainy days but what about when the weather is good.

I have tried to put a number of "Autumn play tips" together for you to try out. I will be updating these tips weekly - so remember to check back often!

TIP number one:

Go on a collection walk-wander through your neighborhood, a local park, or a nearby natural area, look for treasures (leaves, acorns
and other tree nuts, flower petals) along the way. Explain to children that they should only gather things that have fallen to the ground. Encourage classification and communication skills by asking
children to choose a most special leaf and describe their reason for choosing it. Take home your collection and fill a basket with the bounty to decorate a table.
* Children love to collect. As parents our first impulse is often to deny them this impulse. Now is a great time of the year to indulge them. Their collection is a great starting place for sorting
and classifying games.

I received this question from one of my readers:

Q: I was wondering if you had suggestions on games I can make for my daughter to teach skip counting? I'd like to teach, 2's, 5's and 10's first. Thank you for your suggestions!

A: These aren't necessarily games but when my son was learning skip counting we shot baskets using his Little Tike basketball net and counted by 2's. I drew a large number line on our porch (we have a gravel driveway)We used it for adding and subtracting. I'd have him stand on a certain number and tell him to move forward three spaces for
example and that would give you the sum (of course backwards if you are subtracting) I don't remember doing it but you could use it for skip counting as well. Just have her hop (or skip) to each number as you or she says them.

I just received this question from on my readers and I thought i would share it with you.

Q: I was wondering if you have used those paints that make an area magnetic or into a chalkboard.
How to they work?

A: Firstly I have both. The magnetic paint require two or three coats for it to work well. I sprayed my wall twice with the chalkboard paint. The kids love it. I sprayed my wall twice with the chalkboard paint. The kids love it.

But I have a question for you regarding the chalkboard. What do you use under the chalkboard as even with the "dustless" chalk I find it leaves mess on the floor as the kids play and erase!

I tried using a piece of plastic carpet runner stuff but that was worse because it made it too easy to get it on their clothes as they knelt to play and then it got tracked everywhere. I thought of using a carpet runner but wasn't sure if it would all vacuum up well - in theory it should because of the beater bar on the powerhead. The next idea was to use a strip of fabric but getting something like blanketcloth that would have enough nap to hopefully trap some of the chalk but then be able to go straight from being shaken outside to the washing machine and dryer.

I love the idea of using a piece of masonite as it has a wonderful smooth surface but could then just be taken with you when move so you don't have to
paint over it and your money isn't wasted - it would even sell at a garage sale when you no longer have need of it. With the cost of an actual
whiteboard coming down it might be worth considering. Another really cheap option is simply to get a piece of sheet metal, screw it to the wall and then frame it with wood trim to cover the sharp edges. It could probably either be painted with your tremclad type metal paint or even be bought
already painted from a siding company.

That is what I am going to look around for I think as I have heard some people not happy with the magnetic paint for the cost.

I received this question from one of my loyal readers and I thought it best I offer some help and advice.

Q:My 3 year old HATES emphasis on HATES coloring, tracing, anything like that. She'll scribble for a little bit, but even that's pushing it.

A:That sounds frusterating! I do not have this problem, as mine would draw all day (especially with markers). But in my experience working with kids, I have learned that when kids dislike coloring with crayons and pens, a wide variety of mediums helps gain and hold their interest. Anything she does that uses a brush, marker, or bottle will help prepare her for handwriting. Most early childhood resourses suggest that bigger is better, large arm movements are best for this age. You may have already tried all this, but here are some suggestions to make coloring interesting:

Painting with LARGE brushes on a LARGE surface, like using an easel or taping big paper to the side of the house (or car) and letting her paint with chubby brushes.

You can also just give her cups (or a bucket) of water and let her "paint" the driveway, car, house, a big chalkboard, etc. Offer a variety of brushes, like a house brush, a watercolor brush, a chubby brush, etc. We use a squirt bottle also to spray water. Both my kids love this activity, I got most of the garden weeded yesterday with 2 cups of water and 2 paintbrushes!

She could color with chalk on black paper, "paint" glue onto paper to make collages, "draw" pictures with a squeeze bottle of glue onto paper and sprinkle with glitter, sand, rice, etc.

I have bought the squeeze bottles of bubble bath paint for the tub, or you could make some with white liquid soap and food coloring. You can paint with or without the bathwater in the tub, then shower off! (be careful, it is slippery)

My daughter (just turned 3) loves to draw with markers on her easel. I just leave paper on the easel all day (18x24") and leave the markers in the tray. She can draw for a few minutes and go back to it later. She also started writing sentenses, which are dots of pretend letters along the paper.

Another idea to get her interested in printed words is to have her dictate a story to you and write it down for her. She can choose to illustrate it or not, but she will love you to read her words back to her. We used to make little constuction paper books like this, and my daughter would read to her animals at pretend library storytime! It helps them with the connection of print to spoken language.

She may also like to type on the computer, just to see the letters and numbers come out on paper.

Sorry for the long answer, but my heart goes out to you. I hope that you find something that works for her. Let us know how it's going!

I just received this email from on my readers and I asked if I could share it.

Q: My name is Morgan and I am a mom to one (an almost 9-month old baby girl, Makennah Grace). I also go to school part-time online - majoring in psychology and human services.

The question I have is - my daughter's b-day is January 2nd & I would love to have some input on some good educational toys or books that I could buy for her for her b-day and christmas.

What toys and books were popular with your little ones at one to two years of age? She will be using the toys she recieves for her b-day and christmas until her second b-day and christmas, so I want to choose them carefully & get good ones that she will both enjoy and learn from!!!

A:
Hi Morgan,
I remember feeling the same way when my first child was about that age. For what it's worth, here's what I've learned: while advertisers, dvd and toy manufacturers will tell us that some toys are more "educational" for babies and toddlers, that message is, in large part, a fallacy. For children that age, you really don't need to spend lots of money on toys that tout themselves as being educational, because you've already got some of the best toys for them: pots and pans from the kitchen with a good wooden spoon for banging (and a set of ear plugs for you! :); a set of measuring cups in a bathtub full of water; a few balls... Really, small children LOVE those things! What they didn't need much of at that
age were electronic/video games that caused them to "zone out" to the flashing lights and images.

That said, here are a few things I did buy and used well for both of my kids: a small slide (used indoors and outdoors), a set of building blocks with letters and pictures on the sides, balls (inflatable beach balls for indoors), a Radio Flyer wagon (large, for riding in - and we still use it), a backpack for riding in, a sturdy "push & ride" toy for when they started to walk.

As for books, for ages 1-2, my kids liked those hefty board books with clear photos of animals, people, shapes, etc. They also enjoyed, "Pat the Bunny" quite a bit. Otherwise, children's books with rhyming verses are great for reading young children (my son
enjoyed "Bear Snores On").

Best of luck to you, and enjoy this next year...it's a wonderful one!

I tend to go with scarecrows and pumpkins mainly! I have fall colored leaves hanging in my playroom and a black spider hanging just off to one end of the changing table. My bulletin boards will be decked out with fall leaves and pumpkins as well. However Decorating for fall can be tricky as a lot of people do not celebrate Halloween. In my classroom, I have put up things like pumpkins, fall trees and black cats so far. I made ghosts and pumpkins for their cubbies. Not Halloween....but Halloween like.

My preschool is in a church and although they have not said no witches, I have asked the teachers not to decorate with witches or make projects. For some preschool age kids, witches can be scary.

I spent part of this afternoon cutting out patterns the kids can trace and make into something. I am done with all of them for October and if I had more cereal boxes and the like...I would have started on November since my creative juices seemed to be flowing. Ha ha!

Q: My 4 year old has learned all the capital letters of the alphabet. Does anyone have a good suggestion how to get going on the lower case letters and their sounds? Any specific cassettes, workbooks, methods you used? Any tips would be appreciated to get her learning the letter sounds.

A: We use the starfall worksheets as well as the website, and we also use a book I got at walmart, I think its: everything for early learning grade K. Also I made flash cards, 1 for each capital and 1 for each lower case and I will set out all the capitals and have him try to match the lower case to them, or go through and ask him the sound and/or name. His sister is a big help honestly, she is almost 7 and will play the games with him. Also we just talk about letter sounds in words we speak all the time. We will be talking about fish for instance and I will ask him what the first sound is,what letter is that, etc. When we are working on other subjects (he works
with my dd in science and ss a lot of days) I will point out letters or ask him which word starts with an "f" or whatever. He is moving along quickly, but we are doing upper, lower, and sounds all together not individual so he hasn't mastered all upper or all lower yet, but he has got over 2/3 of the 52 total recognizable and about a dozen or so sounds down pat. Basically what I will do each day is do some worksheets on 4 letters, talk about them,there sounds, words that start with, then he will go onto starfall,com and play with those 4 letters. He loves that he has "computer assignments" independently. At least once a week he watches letter factory.

So you don't think you're alone. we use time-out with our 3 year old also. When she was younger we had her sit on a pillow but now she goes to her room for time-out. Her cousins (4 and 2) also have time-out. I think many people still use this as an appropriate discipline. Something that I am trying to do with my daughter right now is to avoid threatening. Her job is to obey me the first time, so if I tell her "don't touch that", then if she disobeys she will have a consequence. No need to tell her what's coming, she knows if she disobeys there will be a consequence to her actions.

Also, there are several things that she will have an immediate consequence for (things I KNOW she knows are not okay) such as hitting. She knows very
well that is a no-no and will have a time-out immediately if she hits.

It might help to hear as well, that at this age, a lot of what we are saying is "No" because they are learning where the boundaries are, so they can
internalize them for themselves. Right now they need to hear where the boundaries are so eventually we won't have to say "Don't touch that yucky
piece of gum on the floor!!" they'll just know. But for now, there are a LOT of things they don't know that we have to teach them. So, I totally
understand that you feel like you're saying "no" all the time (I'm feeling the same way). Just know that this is a phase of their lives and it will pass if we stick with it.

Lastly, I recently tried having a "yes" day and it was quite insightful. We kept the same basic moral and safety rules as well as routines (i.e. still
no hitting, and we still had to have a nap, etc.) but I tried hard to say "yes" to her requests for a day. For example, she wanted to have cake for
breakfast, well okay for one day it won't kill her! What I learned is that there were a lot of times I was saying no simply because I wasn't really
thinking about what I was saying or because I just didn't feel like helping at that moment. So it turned out that I could safely be saying "yes" to her a lot more without compromising my mothering goals. Just a thought. I read about someone doing this for a week in wondertime magazine.