Living alone when you have a chronic illness

This lens refers to "spoons" as a metaphor for energy. The Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino is very popular among people with chronic illnesses, as it is a great way of describing how it feels to live with an energy limiting condition. I highly recommend reading the full post, but here is a brief summary:

Every morning, you wake up with a certain number of "spoons". Each activity, from brushing your teeth to washing dishes, costs "spoons". Some activities take more spoons than others. When you run out of the day's spoons, that's it - you don't get any more. You can sometimes borrow from tomorrow's supply of spoons, but then tomorrow will be much harder to get through with even fewer spoons than usual. Healthy people have so many spoons that they can afford to spend them carelessly. Living with a chronic illness means living with much fewer spoons, and having to choose how to spend them. You may have enough spoons to cook dinner or to meet with a friend, but not to do both. Which will you do? These are the choices that people living with chronic illnesses must make.

A nutritious diet is important for everyone, but especially for people with chronic illnesses, who may have difficulty absorbing or using nutrients. For me, cooking is one of my major bugbears. Cooking is not only a lot of work in itself, but it also generates dishes and pans that have to be washed. While it's very tempting to skip dinner and munch on unhealthy, convenient snacks, this doesn't do you any favours in the long run.

Here are some things that have helped me to keep eating nutritious meals, even on bad days.

Leftovers are fantastic - all you have to do is stick them in the microwave, and you have an instant meal. Food such as bolognese and curry can also be frozen, and kept for months. I like to make large batches and split them into portions, which I then freeze. Boil up some pasta or rice, defrost the bolognese or curry in the microwave, and you've got a nutritious meal with minimal preparation or clean-up. Pizza also tastes great as leftovers, and is as as good cold as it is hot. Pasta bakes, lasagnas and soups all freeze well.

In an ideal world I'm sure we'd all choose to eat food prepared from scratch, but this is very energy consuming. You don't have to live on ready meals, though.

- Bolognese sauce in jars (such as Dolmio) is a quick and easy way to make a nutritious meal. Just add meat (or in my case, fake meat), and cook up some spaghetti. If you have the spoons, you could chop up a few mushrooms and peppers to add a bit more interest. Family size jars give you about three good sized portions.

- Curry sauce in jars is another staple in my kitchen. I like to add fake meat, tinned chickpeas, frozen spinach, and raisins - all of which require little to no preparation. Serve over rice, which can simmer on the stove top with little attention required, or be cooked in microwaveable pouches.

- I find grating cheese very energy consuming, so I buy pre-grated. It's a little more expensive, but the spoon savings are worth it. Plus, you don't have to wash up a cheese grater.

- Pre-chopped veggies will save you from having to stand at the kitchen counter for ages, and are great for sparing painful hands.

- Frozen and tinned veggies are also very useful, as they last a long time. Frozen spinach and sweetcorn can be added to pasta bakes or curries straight from the freezer.

- Making your own pizza is far healthier and tastier than buying take-away, but can be very energy consuming. Instead of making a base, add your own extra toppings to a cheap frozen pizza. You'll have a delicious meal that'll feed you for a couple of days.

- Stir fry veggie mixes can be bought relatively cheaply, and make a healthy meal. No chopping required! You can also buy partially cooked noodles and rice that you can add straight to the wok, minimising dishwashing.

It's not advisable to live on ready meals, but I always make sure I keep one or two in the freezer. On bad days, or when I desperately need to conserve energy for other things, I just throw a ready meal in the microwave. Most of these come in their own plastic containers, so you don't end up with dirty dishes to wash.

It may not be the healthiest or most economic option, but it's much better than skipping dinner altogether.

Washing dishes is my absolute least favourite chore: standing still saps my energy, and the heat and steam make me dizzy. Oh to be able to afford a dishwasher!

If I'm able, I try to wash a few dishes as I'm cooking, so that I don't end up with a huge pile of dishes to do after dinner. Doing two small lots of dishes is generally easier than doing one large lot. If you're standing around in the kitchen anyway, waiting for stuff to cook, you might as well put that time and energy to good use.

I've also started keeping paper plates, polystyrene cups and plastic cutlery in the kitchen, for days when I really don't feel up to doing dishes. It's not the most environmentally friendly solution, but it's less waste than a takeaway. Paper plates can often be recycled or composted.

Try to choose recipes that can be made in one pan, or weigh the amount of dishwashing against how far the meal will go. If you're making a batch that will give you several servings, the extra dishwashing is probably worth it. If it's just one meal it usually isn't - unless you're trying to impress someone!

I used to beat myself up for not having a perfect, company-ready house. Nowadays I've accepted that my house is never going to be perfect, and that's fine. I'm doing the best I can.

I do like to maintain a decent standard of cleanliness though, especially since I have pets. Here are some things that have helped.

I highly recommend paying a visit to Flylady, and signing up to her daily emails. I discovered her site about three years ago, and it has completely changed my approach to housework. I don't have the stamina to maintain the whole routine, but I've wholeheartedly adopted her view that every little bit you do makes a difference. FLY stands for Finally Loving Yourself. Instead of looking at your home as a whole and beating yourself up about the state of it, tackle one small thing at a time. Baby steps quickly add up to giant leaps of progress.

The most valuable technique I learned from Flylady is setting a timer. It's all too easy to get carried away with a task, overdo, and crash horribly. Setting a timer ensures that you don't go over your spoons budget. Not counting dishwashing or laundry, I do 15 minutes of housework a day. Sometimes I spend the entire 15 minutes on one room; other times I spend five minutes each in three rooms.

It doesn't sound like much, but it's amazing what you can get done in 15 minutes! The most important thing is that when the timer goes off - STOP. Don't be tempted to carry on. Allow yourself to feel proud of what you've accomplished, however small. Even five minutes a day will make a difference.

Establishing routines can also make it easier to stay on top of the housework. A quick swipe of the shower after each use will save you from an exhausting session of scrubbing. A load of laundry each day (or whenever you have enough for a load) will prevent "Mount Washmore" from building up.

Pets can be a great comfort when you're chronically ill, but they are also a lot of work! I have one dog of my own, one foster dog, and two guinea pigs. Dogs need the exercise and mental stimulation of a daily walk, so if you're unable to do this yourself, PLEASE find a dog walker who can give your dog the daily walk it needs. If you're unable to afford a dog walker, and don't have a friend or family member who can do it, there are some charities that help disabled or elderly people keep their beloved pets. Your vet should be able to tell you if there's a programme like this in your area.

If your dog or cat is pestering you to play with them and you don't have the energy, interactive toys are a fantastic way of keeping them busy. Try feeding your dog his dinner in a treat ball. He'll have great fun figuring out how to get the food out, and by the time he's finished he'll be exhausted. You can also buy interactive toys that release treats when a dog or cat plays with them in a certain way.

A kong stuffed with peanut butter or cream cheese and then frozen will keep a dog occupied for hours, while a light pointer gives a cat something to chase with minimal effort from you.

Guinea pigs and rabbits enjoy interactive toys too! You can buy a small animal treat ball in most pet shops.

Sometimes, just knowing there are other people out there facing the exact same difficulties can make things feel a little easier. Forums such as But You Don't Look Sick are a great place to meet others in the same situation.

If you're on Twitter, use the #spoonie hashtag to find other people who live with chronic illness.