Do online long distance relationships work?

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Online, Long Distance Relationships

I will be discussing the realities of online, long distance relationships. Can this type of relationship be serious? Can you really fall seriously in love with someone you've never met? Can you really end up marrying someone you met on the internet? I will try to answer these questions in this article.

How do online long distance relationships happen?

First of all, this type of relationship exists and yes; they are REAL relationships. In this day and age it's not really difficult to find someone to talk to and fall in love with even if they're a gazillion miles away for as long they have an internet connection.

Here's the cycle:

Meeting : Either they stumbled upon each other in a music forum website, chat service site, a social networking site or a dating website.

Getting to Know : So they had a pretty good exchange of opinion in a news site so one of them decided to ask the other to talk in an instant messaging app and there they talked to each other for hours. Days passed they're Fb friends already, after a month or so they're already textmates. They talk all the time despite the crazy timezones.

Connection: Now, they're each other's daily routine. Possibly they have nick names for each other at this point. They are now thinking of meeting up but hesitates to open the topic because of too much distance that separates them.

Confusion: At this point, both of them are attracted to each other in a whole lot deeper level than when they discovered the common things about them. But, it's either both of them or only one of them is willing to take what they have to the next level.

Definition of relationship: Of course when feelings start growing, conflicts will arise. Jealousy and quality time will sure be present at this point. She will get jealous of that girl who liked his Fb status or he will feel bad when she can't reply to his messages sooner. If someone is being jealous and asking for your time then you should evaluate your relationship with them because obviously the only one who deserves your loyalty, faithfulness and your time is someone you're in a relationship with. Here, while they experience these problems it would be difficult for them to avoid discussing who they are in each others' lives. And if they are both positive about their feelings towards each other, it's either they have agreed to stay in love and wait till they meet face-to-face to officially date or they have already decided to actually date; they will be each others' partner from hereon.

Officially in love: Now that they are officially in love with each other, it will be very challenging for the both of them to maintain their love for each other till the day they meet personally. They will begin planning how to meet, who will visit who, how much they both need to save up etc. Some couples wait from some months to many years before they can actually be together physically! It really takes perseverance and true love to make a relationship like this work.

NOW, IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE YOU'VE MET ONLINE?
Yes. Love is about connections. Have you ever wondered why some people are so different but still loves each other? It's because they have connection that no one can ever explain. Same goes with people who fall in love online. It's funny to some but when love hits you, it hits you. Whether you fall for someone you see crossing the street everyday or with someone you've never seen in person, it's the same thing.

HOW WOULD YOU KNOW YOU'D FALLEN IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE YOU'VE MET ONLINE?
Same symptoms when you fall in love with someone you see everyday. When you don't get to talk to them, your day isn't complete. When you see them having convos with someone else, say, on Facebook, you get jealous. You always imagine yourself meeting them for the first time. You create scenarios of being with them.

NO ONE IS TAKING MY ONLINE RELATIONSHIP SERIOUSLY. WHAT TO DO?
Nothing. You can never convince people to take you seriously but what you can do is take your relationship seriously. I mean, the only way you can prove this works is to make it work. By the time they see you and the one you love together in each others' arms, I guess that will make them respect your relationship.

HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SPECIAL SOMEONE IS REALLY SERIOUS?
You just know it. If you two are making plans for the future and you guys are really working on attaining the goals you two have set. I think if you're still asking if your relationship is serious then you're not still serious. Because once you're in it 100%, you're in it 100% no questions asked.

CAN THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP WORK?
Yes. You know, in any type of relationship there are the same things that's needed for them to work: respect, trust, faith, quality time, open communication and of course LOVE.

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  • M1987 May 22, 2012 @ 8:06 pm | delete
    Thank you for this wonderful article, i met my love one in online also and were almost 2 months now,, and were always chatting everyday via skype with webcam, and our relationship is growing and growing everyday, i miss her too much and he miss too. i am filipino guy, and shes a french girl. i don't know its hard to believe that were in relationship cause were really physically opposite, but the fact that were in love so much to each other. And we make plans for our future, and shes coming here in the Philippines on October for my birthday. Everyday there's a lot of challenges in our relationship especially this kind of relationship " Long Distance Relationship" all we can do is to trust each other and have faith to each other,, shes really a great girl, shes so different from others girls. The only thing that always in my mind is i want to kiss her, touch her in person, everyday, every night, every hour, every minute I miss her so much and that's the thing that makes me crazy. Sometimes we argue, and cause of jealousy sometimes, but i know its normal for both person that loved each other,, We always share about our lives everyday, but most often we talk happily, laughing, kissing on cam always, and we always telling the truth to each other. It really requires TRUST in every relationship,, even if its not a long distance or long distance relationship, Trust and Love is the most important to keep relationship last long, PLEASE COMMENT AND ADVICE ,, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT,, THANK YOU....
  • SillyBrunette May 1, 2012 @ 8:05 am | delete
    I met love of my life online 3 years ago. He is my friend, my lover, my soulmate. We are not kids. He is 28 and Im 34. We knew what we were doing and that it wont be easy, especially because thousands of miles were between us. It was real for both of us from the first moment. We talked on Fb, Msn, Skype, phone. Every morning and every evening, sometimes all night, sometimes during work. We tell each other everything. We trust each other. Without trust you have nothing. And now we have big plans for the future ;)
  • SecondHandJoe Feb 6, 2012 @ 2:04 pm | delete
    Lotta good stuff in here. I've always tried to avoid people online, but I see there is a successful formula out there! Nice work, thanks!
  • buttonhead Feb 6, 2012 @ 12:46 pm | delete
    Wow! Awesome article, and I like that you outlined the relatonship stages. I met my partner online, and we've been together for nearly a year. We only live about 1.5 hours away from each other, but it's still a challenge. Thanks for writing this lens!
  • rainbowbutterfly Feb 3, 2012 @ 10:49 pm | delete
    Yes, I was in a long relationship with a man whom I met online, though, it wasn't a successful relationship but it was one of my happiest moment.

    I wrote my experience about it too and some caution to be observe and exercise while having fun meeting someone online. Nice lens....

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