My Music

Mr. Mayo found a book for me (the one in the photo above) that helped me kind of learn the keys and notes. The first song I played out of that book was Sweet Hour of Prayer. Both of my Papa's were just so proud of me. Papa Lee took me to his church to play the song. Papa Crawford would hum tunes to me to learn on the organ. Milk Cow Blues was a big hit with him! During the next two years, Daddy decided to go into business and he and mom opened Homer Grocery there in Bald Hill.

By 1977, we'd moved down the road a piece to Burke, Texas, where they had bought my uncle's store and opened Corner Grocery. Right across the railroad tracks behind the store was the Big B Jamboree. I loved that place! They played that good music... the kind that when the bass fiddle started playing you could walk to the beat! I loved it!

The first friend I met after moving there lived right next door to our store. She was in the school band and taking piano lessons from Rosemary Swetland. So I asked Mama about being in the band when school started up again. She talked to daddy about it and they finally agreed and bought a clarinet for me from the local pawnshop. Their idea behind that was if I didn't stick with it, then they hadn't wasted too much money. So under the direction of Mr. Ingram, I learned how to play the clarinet and to read music.

By the summer of that school year, Daddy had signed me up to take piano lessons from Rosemary. So Mama's living room was full with the organ and the piano side by side. When my sisters would come home for visits, one of them would get on the organ and I'd get on the piano and we'd play some music and sing. Well, they would sing. I wouldn't open my mouth to sing for anyone then! I ended up taking band and piano lessons for 7 years, playing recitals, going to UIL events and marching in the band! When I was in the 10th grade, Daddy snuck out and bought me a clarinet that cost $450.00. It had the most beautiful sound in the world to me! Daddy taught me how to play Last Date by Floyd Cramer about that time too. He sat in his chair by the piano and hummed it over and over until I got it right.

The piano lessons only lasted about a year, if that. I wanted to play a song I'd heard another girl play, Flight of the Bumblebee and kept getting told that "I wasn't ready." I kind of figured if I could play bits and pieces of it without the music, I could surely play it with the music! I never got to though, and that kind of turned me cold towards taking lessons. I continued with the clarinet until my senior year, when I had my son Justin. After that, it was all about my boy!

He has the same ability as I have, which was handed down to us from my papa Crawford, of being able to play anything we put our hands on. Along about the time I had Justin, I started to sing. Only in private though, never in front of anyone. If anyone walked in on me singing to him, I'd immediately stop. I was so shy when it came to singing, but I'd play the piano in a heartbeat! The first time I ever sang in front of anyone, was simply because I didn't think they'd hear me because we had the radio so loud in the truck. They heard me. He told me I needed to be singing! I just blew it off and kept working and paying the bills.

By the time Justin was 17, he was already playing around on the piano, picking out songs here and there, but he could walk all over a guitar. Like me though, that shyness bug would bite and he'd only play behind a closed door. You can bet I listened though! It just amazed me that he could pick it as fast as he did. All I could do was strum one! I had my daughter the year Justin graduated. Yep, you read it all right, there's 17 years between my son and I and 17 between him and her.

In 1998 our world kind of fell apart. I lost my oldest sister, Cheryle in November of 97 and my daddy the following January 98. Daddy was one of my son's two male role models. I thank God that he had him. Melody was born in December of 98 and brought some happiness back in our lives.

By 2001, I'd been singing along with the radio and singing around the house in front of the kids. One of my favorite songs was Tricia Yearwood's "How Do I Live Without You", from the movie ConAir. I played that song over and over so much that Melody had it down by the time she was 3. My cousin lived next door to me and kept telling me about this karaoke place that had just opened and about this girl there that could really sing.
She called me one evening after I'd finished work and told me that I needed to come down and listen to this girl that was singing. Now mind you, I still wouldn't sing in front of anyone, but I went down to listen. She did pretty good on some songs, but when she tried to sing Broken Wing, she couldn't hit the high notes. I'm by no means, "cocky" when it comes to singing or music being played, but being as I learn everything musically by ear, when something is off, it is like a siren in my head. It's something that if you don't experience it firsthand, you may not understand.... but I equate it to a dog when they hear a siren and start howling. They know that sound isn't natural! To this day, I still keep my head out of the clouds, because I know there are people who sing better than I do, but my love for the Lord is what keeps my voice going today!

We were sitting at this table and she started singing it and my cousin said, "Just wait till you hear her on this song! She's great!" Well, after it was over, I opened my mouth (inserted foot too) and told her, "She was good, but I can do it better." That was my big debut into singing in front of people. My cousin told me if I thought I could do better, then I should get up there and do it or keep my mouth shut! Then she got up and told the DJ that I wanted to sing that song.. (without me knowing it). When she came back to the table, she told me that she had asked the DJ to sing a song for her... yeah RIGHT! He called me up on the stage. I was steadily hemming and hawing to get out of it but my cousin pulled out her best defense. She dared me. I'm one who can't back away from a dare. So I sang the song. My cousin proceeded to call my mom on her cell phone to let her listen.

Mom's house was not very far from the karaoke place so of course she made a bee-line over. I was still on the stage, by this time singing "How Do I Live" when mom came in the door. It's one of very few memories I have in my mind of my mom being totally shocked and speechless. When I came off the stage mama hugged me and said.. "Where in the world did you learn to sing like that?" I told her from listening to her and Papa Crawford, I suppose! Well, that's when Melody started doing me like I had done my mom's years ago... "Mama I wanna sing.. MAMA!! I wanna sing!!" I told her, well get up there and sing then! She did. She stepped up on that stage like she was born to be there and proceeded to tell the DJ.. "Pway How Do I Wive" (Play How Do I Live). He did, and she belted that song out word for word.

Up until 2 years ago, I was steadily playing in area bluegrass bands and Melody and I were singing around at area churches. One of the last shows we sang at was at a bluegrass camp in 2003. It was the last show that the camp had and where I fell in love with bluegrass music. Which is when I started playing the mandolin. And that was only because a guitar was too heavy for me to hold up on the stage! Up until then, I couldn't stand bluegrass.. even today, a banjo can get on my nerves really quick! Unless the person really knows how to play it!

Today, most of my playing and singing is limited to right here at my house. I really miss getting out and mingling with all of the other groups and playing and singing. Most of the people that I used to play with have either passed away or have suffered health wise and are unable to play any more. I have a tendency to get really attached to people that I like and when I lost two pickers in a row and a third suffered a stroke, then it kind of killed the music in me... as far as playing "live" and singing in general.

In the past year and a half, I've slowly but surely started coming back to singing, but I don't know when I'll get back to playing the mandolin again. I was blessed with a beautiful granddaughter in August of 2009 and that brought back a lot of joy to me. Made me want to sing again!