Love Letters To My Kids

Dear B,

When God gave you to me, He knew I would need you. He gave us 6 amazing years together, just you and me and your Dad. When your sister finally came along, you were so happy to finally be a big brother. You held her and read to her and couldn't wait to teach her everything you knew. Now that she is almost 6 years old, you don't always get along, but I know you still love her...and your other 3 siblings as well. You have always been an amazing brother.

You fill my days with chatter and questions I never knew an 11-year old would ask...but then again, you've always been smarter than you should be. You challenge me in so many ways and you teach me about things I never knew I'd be interested in. You dive into your school work and you soak it all in. You're like a sponge. And I love to see the way that you light up when you learn something new and interesting.

This year, you grew to be taller than me. I didn't know that would happen so soon. I have such mixed feelings about the man you are becoming. I am so proud of you for being smart and loving and courageous. But I'm not ready for you to be so grown up already. I see the little boys wearing clothes that you wore not so long ago and I remember you as a small child. You loved to crawl into bed with me in the morning and play with my hair. You loved to sing songs, read your bible, and recite your favorite books before bed. You taught yourself to read when you were just three!

I can't tell you how much of my heart you fill, but I can tell you I would be empty without you. I feel like we grew up together. I was only 22 when you were born. There is something very special about the relationship that we have. I hope that I have been a good Mom to you. I know that I have not been a perfect mom all of the time. Sometimes it's hard to be the oldest child (I know, because I was one). Your parents are learning how to be parents. I know I have learned a lot raising you and I know I will continue to learn. You still have so much to teach me about being a good parent.

I just wanted you to know how much I love you on this Valentine's Day, 2012. My world is so much better because you are here. I can't imagine my life without you being a part of it. Thank you for being an amazing son. Thank you for helping me so much with your chores and when I need assistance with the other kids. Thank you for being patient with me and for accepting my apologies with grace when I haven't been patient with you.

You are incredible. Never forget that. And never forget that I am always here when you need me. I love you, Buddy!

Love,
Mom

Photo © MamaBush

Dear A,

I dreamed of you for so long. For 5 years, I thought you would never come, but God finally brought you into our life. You were so worth the wait!

The nurses brought you to me with a tiny pink bow in your hair. I had never seen anything more beautiful in the entire world. You made our family feel complete. Little did I know that in the next 4 years, God would give us 3 more babies and you would be such an amazing big sister. You are always there to help me feed and change and cuddle the little ones. You have an inate ability to be nurturing and loving.

I have to admit, you're more stubborn and hard-headed than I ever knew a child could be. Your Papa says I was the same way, so I guess it's only fair. This toughness will be an asset to you as you grow older, but I pray it will not become a stumbling block in your life. I know my own stubborn tendencies have caused me some trouble over the years.

You are strong and beautiful and you have such a sweet heart. This year on Christmas Eve, you wrapped up a box full of your own jewelry and hair bows and gave it to me. Standing there in front of our extended family, you said very proudly: "I'm giving you this because I know that Christmas is not about the gifts we give, it's about LOVE." I was so shocked to hear those words come out of the mouth of a 5-year old and you made me cry in front of everyone. I will never forget that night. You have already learned the greatest lesson of all. I pray that you will never forget that.

My relationship with you is so different than what I have with the boys. Sometimes we clash, but I think that's just a girl thing. I hope that you know that I love you so incredibly much. My life would be empty without you. You make me smile and laugh every day. You make me so proud of you in everything you do. You make my heart do flip-flops when I see you helping with the little ones or dancing around the house. I love that you are such a girly-girl, but you can really hold your own with the boys. And you can climb a tree with the best of them. You are everything that is good in this world.

I hope you are proud to have me as your Mom. I know I haven't always been a great mom, but I want to be. I promise I will try hard every day to make you proud of me. Because I am so proud to call you my daughter. I love you, Sweetheart!

Love,
Mom

Photo © MamaBush

Dear J,

The day I found out you would be joining our family was such a happy one! I couldn't believe that God was going to bless me with another child and I couldn't wait to hold you in my arms. From the day you were born, you have been so laid back and quiet. You slept through the night so quickly, didn't ever cry and loved when I sang Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star...your little face would just light up every time you heard that song! And you still love when I sing to you.

I love everything about you. You are so wonderful in so many ways. You have a natural gift for music and could hum songs back to me when you were 9 months old. You are so smart and you have learned so much from your brother and sister...sometimes I can't believe you're not even 4 years old yet! You can already spell and write your name, you know your alphabet and you know all your numbers up to 20. I'm so proud of you!

But besides being smart, you have the sweetest heart and I love how you wake up earlier than everyone else just so you can snuggle with me before everyone else wakes up. I love how you take care of your baby sister. You are her favorite and I love how she laughs when you play with her. She saves that laugh for you!

Sometimes you feel sad and it hurts my heart to see you like that. I know it's hard to be the middle child and I always try to give you extra love and extra time. I hope you never feel like you are treated differently or less. I know it's hard to not be the baby anymore, but it's also hard to not be big enough to do some of the things your older siblings do.

Just know that you are loved deeply and completely. Your smile lights up my life! I look forward to every day I wake up and see your precious face. I love watching you learn and play. I love that you are Lion Boy, Super Hero Extraordinaire. And I love that you are my child the most.

God gave me a special gift when He gave you to me and I'm so glad that he chose me to be your Mom. I love you, My J!

Love,
Mom

Photo © MamaBush

Dear C,

My sweet boy, you have been such a joy in my life. You were born into our family in the peaceful quiet of an early winter morning. Your daddy was the very first to hold you, lifting you out of the warm water of the birth tub. Having you at home was the most amazing experience of my entire life. Less than an hour after you were born, I was snuggling with you in front of our warm woodstove.

You were such a quiet, happy baby...always so content to just be held and loved and cared for. You never cried, just called out patiently when you needed me. A dream baby, for sure!

Now that you are older and coming into your own, you are not so quiet! But you are even more loveable every day. You are growing out of being a baby and you are starting to work your way in with the older kids. But I love that you still crawl up on my lap and suck on your thumb while we snuggle. You also just got your big boy bed and I am so proud that you know how to stay in it! You are just the right mix of independence and sweetness and I can't wait to see the young man you grow up to be.

You are my 4th child, but loved equally and infinitely. Some people think that a mom can't love more than one or two children, but you have proven to me beyond doubt that love expands and cannot be diminished. There will never be an end to my love for you, baby boy. Keep smiling and laughing...you bring me pure joy! I love you so much!

Love,
Mom

Photo © MamaBush

Dear M,

My sweet baby girl, where do I start? I look at you and every part of me melts. You are so beautiful and shiny bright. Your happiness radiates and fills me up until I can't help but laugh out loud at the joy you bring to me!

You are at that perfect age between newborn and toddler. You are learning so many things all at the same time: clapping, talking, walking, eating...so many things that make me so proud of you! I can tell when you are taking something in, you focus so deeply so you can imitate it and charm us with just one more of your magnificent talents!

Baby girl, you remind me that every day is full of blessings. You don't notice when things get chaotic or tense or messy...you just smile because it's all good for you! You inspire me to find the good in everything, to try for a moment to see the world through your eyes...full of wonder and beauty and good.

I love that you still rely on me for everything...it's so nice to be needed that way. But I love that you are starting to spread your wings...test the waters...and I know soon you will be off with the big kids and I will be left to watch you grow and become your own.

You are thoroughly loved, deep to the recesses of my heart. I will always be here, now and forever, whenever you need someone who will be there no matter what. You will always be my baby girl. I love you, Darling!

Love,
Mom

Photo © MamaBush