THE IMPORTANCE OF LOVE

"To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness." - Robert Morely

Love is one of the most powerful energies on the planet. We are born with love in our hearts, and it lives within us all. But some of us put so much focus on finding love and approval "out there" that we never get a chance to truly develop it within ourselves. We look for it in the external world--from parents, partners, friends, bosses, new people we meet, people we admire. If any one of them disappoints, devastation follows.

How many times have you been hurt because of someone else's opinion of you? When we experience self-esteem only through the eyes of others, one unkind word or a bad mood in another can shatter our sense of self.

As I was growing up, I was wondering why "Americans" seem to be so demonstrative towards each other in terms of showing affection. It appeared to be so natural and so innate. Nothing rehearsed and there were any pretense. It was just pure unadulterated love and affection being displayed. It was wonderful to witness it. I wanted to be loved and to feel love.

Even other ethnic groups showed displays of love and affection. When they see each other in the street, they would kiss and hug each other in acknowledement. When you are introduced instead of a handshake sometimes you are greeted with a hug, a kiss on the cheek or a warm handshake.

I vowed to myself, when I had my own kids that I will never continue the cycle. I will show my kids love, caring and most important respect. I will try to teach them about life and what to expect so that they won't grow up in fear and without a lot of doubt and questions.

Sometimes, it is best to share how you feel and ask them how they feel about everything and anything. You have to stress that they should never be afraid to talk to you about anything.

Encourage an open dialogue with your kids and they will know years from that day that you have bestowed to them wisdom. They will be able to be productive citizens in society and have many contributions that will help others.

I tell my kids I love them very much in person or on the telephone. I didn't want them to grow up the way I did, not being able to "feel" or "love". They know I love them and I feel they love me as strongly as I love them. The depth of love is something that I had to learn on my own and pass it on to those I truly loved.

Though I was awkward with saying "I love you" in the beginning. As soon as I went through the initial hurdle, awkwardness and clumsiness, it was ok after that. But in the beginning it was not a natural thing. It felt sort of odd to show physical affection or to say "I love you".

I strongly feel that if a child is not shown or given love it has a definite negative impact on their development with reference to their personality and character. There is no foundation to build on, no strengths to strengthen. I felt that my personal growth was stagnated and not progressing. Odd, that I feel that way but that is how I felt growing up.

I had alot of growing pains, there was no one to confide in. I know for myself, I felt like a second class citizen. I didn't feel "whole" if there was such a thing. I always felt that something was missing in my life and was never quite able to put a finger on it. I used to watch TV and see "American" families showing each other love and affection. I thought it might be a cultural thing but I later discounted that idea.

There is a strong correlation and research that backs this fact that if a baby is given and learned love from the initial onset of birth into the world. The baby chances of survival is much greater. It seems like a no brainer and a oommon sense attitude.