I know about Negative Body Obsession because I have lived with its torment. The struggle began innocently enough: I decided to go on a diet. I had always eaten healthily and was very physically active, so I was not overweight, not even slightly. But there was a girl in my high school class who was developing anorexia, and was rapidly becoming a stick-figure. She was very thin, though not completely skeletal yet, and I thought she looked great. Among my peers there was emerging talk about diets and it seemed only logical that I should go on one. It was bound to make me more popular and more desirable. As I began to experiment with dieting, a belief slowly crystallized: thin is beautiful and beauty equals success and success is desirable. Therefore I should be as thin as possible. Five hundred calories per day and daily sports and exercise made my weight quickly plummet to below 100 pounds, at 5'3".
I was ecstatic. I felt beautiful; I felt desirable; I felt successful. I felt successful not only because I felt beautiful, but because I was able to control my appetite. I was able to control my natural urges; I was able to control my body. Unfortunately, I was not able to control it perfectly, and thus began the struggle.

When I relaxed my self-induced starvation, binging started. I would be ravenously hungry, unable to stop from eating. With every morsel I put in my mouth, however, I would experience feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy. Who was I if I was not able to stay thin? What was I worth? The answer somewhere deep in my heart answered, You're no one and nothing. I fought violently against my body, believing I could control it and affirm my self-worth.

I found myself caught in a self-induced web of suffering and could not break free. When I was thin, I felt wonderful, but there was always an underlying anxiety that haunted me. I was continuously afraid of gaining weight, and this fear limited the love and spontaneity I could experience. Whenever I gained a few pounds I would become inundated with feelings of worthlessness and fight wholeheartedly to lose the weight, again limiting the love and spontaneity I could experience.

After twelve years of this constant struggle, I finally believed I had made peace with my body. I ate one meal a day and kept my weight to just above 100 pounds. I was not able to comprehend that I was still very much under the influence of NBO. Then my thyroid malfunctioned and I gained 30 pounds in 3 months. I lost 75% of my flexibility and at times had difficulty even walking. I plummeted into a suicidal depression.

Because this struggle I realized that I was not yet free of NBO. It was at this point that I finally saw the truth of my situation and through intense spiritual and psychological work was able to break the hold self-hatred had on my life. Developing a deep commitment to helping others, I embarked on an intensive course of studies with leading spiritual teachers and established a practice as a body-image expert and personal empowerment coach.

No one should have to suffer the way I did, the way so many people do. There is no reason for the pain that NBO causes. It is now my mission and my goal to help every person who suffers from self-hatred to break free and unleash the power of her potential.

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"Love your body.....Live your dreams!"

If you're in high school, most of your friends are probably on a diet. A recent study shows that 90% of junior and senior girls are on a diet regularly, even though only 10-15% are actually overweight.

The modeling industry also promotes the idea that you need to diet and exercise religiously. Fashion models are actually thinner than 98% of American women. An average woman stands 5'4" tall and weighs about 140 lbs, while the average fashion model is a towering 5'11" tall and weighs under 117 lbs.

In reality no amount of dieting, exercise and discipline can earn you a magazine cover-ready body because those photos have been Photo Shopped, doctored and airbrushed. Don't waste your time attempting to be what you are not, instead; focus on cultivating who you are!

Body Image Tips

As you progress through puberty and your high school years, your body changes as fast as your favorite ring tones. But learning to appreciate your body and have positive self image is a task that few adults have even mastered. Here are some tips to help you learn to love yourself:

* Learn to Cook- It is never too early to learn to cook. In just a few years, you will be on your own and you will be expected to feed and take care of yourself. Get some practice at home by preparing some family meals or meals for just yourself. Try some new foods by looking through cookbooks and online. Impress your friends by having a dinner party. This also helps you understand how food functions within a regular diet. Learn how to cook healthily so you can eat healthily, but don't spend too much time worrying about food!

* Don't Diet!- Dieting is a great way to ruin your eating habits and your relationship with food and your body. Instead, learn about healthy eating and exercise habits. The healthy habits you learn while you are young will serve you throughout your life!

* People Watch- Go to the mall or a public space and people watch. How many are fat or thin? How tall are most women? Men? What do you like or dislike about people's styles, looks or body type? How much of their appearance is "style" and how much is their actual body types? Cultivate the ability to see style and beauty in everyone. As you learn to do this, you can be a trend-setter instead of a trend-follower.

* Keep it Real- Remember, people only pick the best photos to be on their MySpace or Facebook page. Remind yourself that they all have bad hair days, the occasional zit or an unflattering outfit choice.

* Stay Well Rounded- Sign up for activities that you have never tried. Join an intramural sport or speech meet. Build up your college resume by participating in extracurricular activities. It's a great way to broaden your social circle and prepares you for college or a job.

* Be a Trend Setter- Don't just follow the crowd - create your own crowd by being a trend setter. Find your own style and look by experimenting with your hair, makeup and clothing. What is your look trying to say? Does it match what you want people to think about you? Someone has to set the trends. Why not you?

* Learn to meditate- It is never too early to learn to meditate. You will find that this is a skill you can use all your life. By focusing inward, it is easier to distill the truth rather than listening to outside influences. It will also help you manage the stress of your busy life.

Parenting Tips

If you are a parent of a teen, you know the challenges of living with an emotional, possibly aloof teenager who begs for guidance but disregards most of what you say. Their alternating moods and attitudes make approaching a touchy subject like body image feels dangerous. The following are some tips to help with a positive body image:

* Have an Open Door Policy- You'd like your teen to approach you with any problem she is facing but often you aren't sure if she's coming to you, going to her friends or suffering alone. Encourage regular candid conversation by noticing what times and places your teen is most likely to talk. Is she a night owl? Does she talking on a long drive? Is she more comfortable emailing? Use the time and venue that is most comfortable for her and encourage open sharing.

* Limit Harmful Media- Put your teen daughter on a media diet. Don't feel you need to restrict website, magazine or TV shows entirely. Just be cautious of what mediums she concentrates on. Be especially mindful of any one celebrity that she idolizes or photos that she tears out and stares at repeatedly. Discuss how all magazine photos are airbrushed and doctored.

* Compliment Her and Her Friends- Make a point to compliment both your daughter and her friends on a well-put together outfit or a new hair style. Teens are trying on new looks and personalities as their bodies change. Let them know that they have hit on a good look when they experiment in the right direction.

Make sure to compliment them on things not related to their appearance as well. A good grade, a valiant sports effort or kind deed also deserve notice. Try to practice a 90/10% rule. Let 90% of your comments and insights be positive and only 10% should be carefully worded constructive criticism.

Moving out of the teenage years and into adulthood can be exciting, challenging and frightening all at the same time. Independence and total responsibility for food, exercise and health choices are thrust upon young adults when they enter the real world.

While living at home, most teens relied on their parents or school for their meals and an exercise routine. For many, college is the first time they have full control over the diet and exercise regimes. All college students have heard of the Freshman 15, where unhealthy eating and excessive drinking lead to unwanted weight gain. The newfound stress of college life and unhealthy lifestyle habits lead to disordered eating for many college-age women.

After college, there are a number of other challenges that women face regarding their bodies. Stressful jobs and motherhood can make balancing work and life challenging, and body-loathing seems like a rite of passage into adulthood for many women.

So how can you strive to maintain a positive body image in today?s stress filled world?

* Learn to love yourself
Women should realize that there is no perfect body type. People come in all shapes, sizes and forms. Acknowledge the negative feelings that you have about your body and then move on to inventory those positive things that you do like about yourself. Train yourself to counteract each negative thought with three positive affirmations.

* Seek positive support
Surround yourself with supportive and positive friends. Friends and support are usually easy to find when in college or school. But outside of the bubble of college life, making connections can be harder. Co-workers and members of clubs, groups or associations can also make great friends. It is also useful to go outside of your normal social circle by joining new clubs, finding a women?s or mother?s group or looking for new connections online.

* Seek counseling, if necessary
If you are constantly preoccupied with your body, diet or exercise routine, considering seeking professional help. This can be as simple as joining a local weight loss or exercise group. A coaching experience will often help you reach the root of your food issues, while keeping you accountable. But if your needs are more personal or run deeper, you should contact a therapist or counselor, who can work closely with you to help you resolve any longstanding issues.

* Enjoy a healthy lifestyle
If you eat a nutritious, balanced diet and make exercise a priority, you can?t help but to feel better physically and emotionally. Focus on how you feel rather than what your scale is saying. Challenge yourself continually by enrolling in a cooking class or joining the local Zumba class.

* Take time for yourself
Due to the demands of school, work and family lives, many young women began to put the world first and themselves second. It is so important to take time out to take care of yourself. Start with a 30 minute walk around the block with your iPod or go to the salon for a new haircut. By taking care of yourself, you will be able to better take care of those around you.

* Learn to meditate
Learning to meditate will not only help you manage stress, but it will also help you learn to identify negative patterns and make healthier and more evolutionary choices.

As people, we crave connections and interaction. Too often we can replace these cravings with the temporary solution of food. As a young woman learns to balance home life, work life and social life, the lessons she learns about self-care are ones that will last her a lifetime. Remember, let food feed your body and love feed your soul!

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For many women, pregnancy poses another challenge to a healthy body image. A healthy pregnancy usually means weight gain of 25-35 pounds. If you don't gain enough weight, it can negatively influence the development of the fetus. Eating disorders before pregnancy can negatively impact your fertility, while eating disorders during pregnancy can harm the health and even life of the growing fetus.

Even knowing this importance of healthy eating habits during pregnancy, the required weight gain can create anxiety in even the most reasonable of women.

Here are some important tips for accepting and loving your changing body both during pregnancy and after child birth:

* Listen to your body's wisdom:
In a culture that promotes body sculpting and plastic surgery there is the prevailing myth that our bodies are the problem. Our mind has an agenda of what it thinks our body should look like, and we blame our bodies when they don't buy into the cultural lies.

The fact is our bodies have an incredible amount of innate wisdom. Our bodies orchestrate millions of activities all at the same time. The human body can play the piano, tell a story, and create a baby all at the same time. The cells within our bodies are constantly engaged in a symphony of interconnection. Furthermore, the rhythms of our bodies are synchronized with the whole universe, dancing in delicate balance to lunar and solar rhythms, among others.

The changes your body makes during pregnancy are brilliantly designed and orchestrated to promote a healthy baby. You must learn to listen to your body and honor the magnificence that it is.

Don't let yourself buy into the culturally-induced hallucination that your body needs to be other than it is. Instead, learn about the wisdom inherent in your body. Begin to listen to this wisdom and honor it.

* Understand and appreciate what is happening to your body
During pregnancy, your body is constantly and consistently undergoing numerous changes. Your hormones shift drastically and your body begins to change to accommodate living for two instead of one.

* Fight prevailing cultural myths
The media is saturated with images of pregnant stars that develop cute bellies and then lose the weight almost instantaneously. They are then pictured as thin, beautiful women carrying around adorable babies. It is assumed that a woman should return to her pre-pregnancy body in 4-6 weeks. None of this is realistic. Again, your body knows what is best. You must fight to not be sucked into the myth that says your body should be thin within a few weeks of giving birth. What you can do is make healthy lifestyle choices for yourself and your baby and your body will slowly find its own post-childbirth equilibrium.

* Make healthy choices, and let go of the outcome
Healthy choices involve the right type of diet, exercise, and rest. A core teaching of Vedanta says that we can only control our actions; we cannot control the outcome of our actions. Again, prevailing culture would have us believe that if we only exercise enough and diet enough and take the right supplements and eat the right foods, then are body will become whatever we want it to be. Regardless of genetics, through enough will power we can all develop the perfect body. This is false. Each of us has a unique body type [hyperlink to section on Ayurveda]. What we can learn to do is make the healthiest choices given our unique psycho-physiology. What we cannot do is transform ourselves into something we are not. Learn to make healthy lifestyle choices. Learn what types of food are most appropriate for you; learn what types of exercises are best for you. Make healthy choices on a regular basis. Let go of attachment to the results of these actions and let your body achieve its ideal shape and weight.

* Learn yoga and meditation
One of the most important things you can do to improve your body image is to understand how your thoughts keep you trapped. Through meditation you will come to see that you are not your thoughts, but rather you are the thinker of your thoughts. You can learn to connect with this witnessing awareness, your spiritual essence. Your spiritual essence is a place of unbounded, unlimited, potential. Through meditation, you can begin to identify and detach from self-defeating thoughts and behaviors and learn to replace them with life-affirming outlooks and attitudes that will help you transform your life in the direction of your dreams.

Dissatisfaction with your body can happen at any age but it is especially hard to avoid when approaching middle age. Age can slow your metabolism and cause many unwelcome body changes. If you've had children, pregnancy has taken its toll on your body as well. It is easy to feel out of control and like a failure in today's body conscious world, especially as you approach your 30s and 40s.

Fighting against the stream of constant media images, your own high expectations and the onslaught of age related changes takes more than just willpower. Consider implementing these tips to improve your body image and mental wellbeing:

* Limit your media exposure or types of media you indulge in-
Do you feel awful after flipping through a fashion magazine at the hairdresser's? Do internet images or television images stick with you long after you have looked away? Go on a media diet by eliminating those magazines, shows or sites that feed your dissatisfaction. You might need to throw out the Victoria Secret catalog when it comes in the mail, but are you really missing anything?

* Define beauty by other means- There is no need to buy into the belief that thin, young and perfectly proportioned is the only standard in which beauty can be measured. Find adult women you admire that don't fit the standard cookie cutter mold and emulate them. Admire your own strength or endurance. Respect your creative spirit or the gifts you have cultivated over the years. Recognize that beauty is more than just appearance.

* Dress to please yourself - Be mindful of your wardrobe. Choose styles and colors that are flattering on you while still making you feel good. Create a style of your own. Use accessories such as scarves, wraps or jewelry pieces to jazz up your wardrobe. Wear things that make you feel your best.

* Compliment others- By focusing outward instead of self-obsessing, it is easy to find one genuine trait to compliment people on. Tell the bank teller you like her earrings. Praise the grocery clerk for her beautiful smile. Everyone has something that is beautiful about them. Point it out to them and you will find yourself surrounded by a world of people who are beautiful in their own unique ways.

* Accept compliments- Alternately, the more you pass out compliments, the more likely you are to receive them. Graciously accept any compliments that come your way. Do not dismiss them or rationalize them away. Accept them for the treasure and truth that they are. If someone compliments you, say "Thank you" and smile. A compliment is a gift. Don't refuse it.

* Talk to yourself positively- The most powerful words you will hear all day are in your own head. Your own self talk not only sets the stage for positive or negative feelings but they become the truth. Negative self talk decreases your energy and vitality while adding nothing constructive to the situation. Alternately, positive self talk increases your energy and spurs you on to greater things. You'll accomplish much more by being kind to yourself.

* Be cautiously aware- If you have struggled with an eating disorder in the past, you might find yourself with a renewed food, diet or exercise fixation. Relapsing into old bad habits or even developing new ones is possible as an adult woman. Be diligent about adopting healthy habits in moderation. Seek help if you feel yourself spinning out of control.

Prayer or meditation is an excellent way to refocus on what truly matters. By spending a concentrated time focused inward, you can consciously readjust your inner dialog.

Learning to love yourself as you are takes a lifetime of practice. But with each new age come new benefits and challenges.

The emphasis on youth in our culture can increase a mature woman's struggle with body image, especially as she approaches menopause. Menopause, in terms of body changes, is just as significant as puberty or pregnancy, yet it is often portrayed as a harrowing experience to be dreaded. Coupled with the bombardment of advertisements on how to make yourself appear younger, a mature woman can feel overwhelmed by contradictory messages, misinformation, pressures from society and her own physical changes.

Women can begin to experience perimenopausal symptoms as early as their late 30s, even though menopause itself doesn't usually occur until around 50. Perimenopause marks a change in a woman's hormonal levels, which begins to affect the regularity of the menstrual cycle. Menopause is the shutting down of the ovaries, lowering the hormonal levels so that they no longer have a menstrual cycle. The cessation of the ovary's functions has other side effects.

The perimenopausal and menopausal symptoms can include:

* Night sweats
* Mood swings
* Hot flashes
* Headaches
* Heart palpitations
* Vaginal dryness
* Weight gain

During the transition period, the average woman can expect to gain two to five pounds, usually in the tummy and hip areas. Women approaching menopause can often feel less appealing and out of control in relation to their body. Hormonal fluctuations exacerbate the issues but it is important to remember that this is a natural part of aging. With life expectancies of women reaching into the 80's, many women will spend half of their lives post-menopausal.

Below are some helpful tips to help mature women navigate through this stage of their lives and help them feel better about themselves in the process:

* Talk to your doctor- With so many changes are occurring in your body, it is important to speak with your physician about your options. Not everyone needs treatment for the symptoms of menopause, but it is important to know your health status and to discuss any options for treatments. Treatments include hormone replacement, vitamins and natural remedies. Being informed can improve confidence about your situation and remove any fear from the unknown.

* Get plenty of exercise- Exercise is a good choice for a woman at any age, but it is especially beneficial to those approaching or experiencing menopause. Besides helping to manage any weight gain, it is also good for your heart and helps build strong bones. Exercise is great for your confidence and gives you that natural lift in spirits. Joining an exercise group or Silver Sneakers program is not only good for your physical well-being, but it is also a boost to your social life.

* Proper nutrition and healthy lifestyle- As with exercise, getting proper nutrition is necessary at any age. Eating a heart healthy diet that is filled with plenty of fish, high-fiber grains, vegetables, fruits and beans can help reduce the symptoms of menopause and reduce the risk of other diseases that are associated with aging. Limit caffeine, nicotine and alcohol, because these things can actually make symptoms worse and can affect your sleeping patterns.

* Take time for you- This is the time in life where you can focus on those things in life that you enjoy. It is important to remain social, as you face any major life change, including menopause. Seek out quality time with friends and family and treat yourself to special events, hobbies and activities that you enjoy; such as, walking, gardening or yoga. Keep your mind active by taking classes and broadening your horizons. Your life experience and knowledge can invaluable in a classroom setting.

During menopause and afterwards, the key is to stay educated and balance activity with relaxation. Life is full of changes and challenges - no matter the age - so embrace the joys of aging and the new adventures that await you.
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It is no surprise that athletes are extremely conscious of their bodies, especially due to the intense training and focus that sports demand. The obsession with body type is particularly true of athletes who participate in gymnastics, wrestling, figure skating and dancing. While male athletes tend to be known for their strength and muscular physique, many female athletes gravitate toward thin, compact body types. Studies have shown female athletes are six times more likely to develop eating disorders than other women in the general population.

There are several ways to address this growing problem. Below are just a few tips and questions to ask when you are an athlete struggling with body image or a parent or coach of an athlete.

* Training for coaches
Coaches should to be trained to identify risky and unhealthy behaviors in their athletes, so that the issues can be immediately addressed at the onset. They need to be educated about referral sources in the community that can assist athletes with body image issues. The best coaches focus on the individual performance of the athlete rather than weight and measurements.

* Body image and nutrition training for athletes-
Athletes in particular should have a basic understanding of proper nutrition and exercise. An athlete can not be expected to be in complete control of his or her body without knowing the cause and effect of nutrition and exercise. Tips on how to maintain a positive body image would increase their chances for a healthy lifestyle.

* Strong role models
In order to emulate positive behaviors in sports and lifestyles, strong role models are needed. Guest speakers and trainers can give their special insight into sports related issues and how to cope with the physical demands of being an athlete. Coaches themselves need to be positive role models and practice what they preach to those that they are coaching.

* Open Communication
Coaches should provide a safe, open environment for their athletes. Athletes need feel that they talk to their coaches without fear of being judged or punished. Coaches need to be understanding and open to discussion.

Alternately, parents should also have regular discussions with the coach. Just as you have parent-teacher conferences about your student's school work, parents should receive regular updates on their student's athletic progress and any potential issues.

* Learn responsibility and balance
Athletes learn early to take responsibility. Help them learn how to take responsibility for their own bodies and needs. They can express their wants, needs and concerns to those that are working with them and learn to apply a positive self-image. Athletes also need to learn balance. Their sport and accomplishments are only a small part of who they are. It is critical not to neglect the other aspects of their life.

In athletics, the body and how it performs is often the primary focus. With proper training of coaches and athletes, a positive environment can be developed to help the athletes live healthy lifestyles that enhance their sport, instead of harming their health and body image.

In today's media-saturated society, it is common knowledge that most women suffer from negative body image. Less well-known are the issues facing men. While women generally seek to decrease their body weight to unrealistic levels, men usually want to bulk up to create a muscular appearance. Both the men and women discover that these unrealistic body types are all but impossible to attain.

Fueled by images of rippling muscles and six-pack abs, some men become obsessed with obtaining this unrealistic standard. The obsession with dieting and working out can be dangerous, creating a new disorder called muscle dysmorphia or bigorexia. Just as anorexia distorts the mind to make a woman feel as if she is fat when she is actually critically underweight, muscle dysmorphia distorts a man's mind into believing he's frail and inadequate, with small, underdeveloped muscles.

Since most eating disorders?anorexia, bulimia and binge eating?are considered women's issues, there is a level of shame that compounds the issue. Men believe they should be invincible, in control and able to obtain perfection, if only they worked harder. These beliefs lead to dissatisfaction. Even if isn't taken to the extreme with an eating disorder, men can still suffer from low self esteem and negative body image. On the other end of the spectrum are men who are dissatisfied with their bodies because of obesity and weight issues. With all of these issues affecting men today, what can be done to improve your body image?

* Reprogram Your Inner Dialog- When your daily diet of media presents unrealistic and airbrushed false images of the "perfect" body, it is a struggle to remain grounded and realistic. Rather than beat yourself up over the failure of reaching these unobtainable goals, shift your focus towards your inner dialog. Do an internal inventory to determine what you like about yourself: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Use positive self-talk to reprogram the way you feel about yourself and your body.

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* Ditch the Scale- You are not your weight. Judge yourself and others by other standards other than weight. Remember that ideal body weights are standardized. Each person is unique with their own background, genes, age, muscle and bone structures. Instead of being a slave to the scale, strive to eat healthy, exercise regularly, drink water and get plenty of sleep.

* Take Your Time- When is the last time you enjoyed life? Enjoying life is a decision. Decide to live in the moment and enjoy the people and things around you, instead of fixating on your unhappiness with your body. Be mindful of your food and the pleasure it brings. Feel the full impact of a vigorous work out. Learn to meditate and just be still. Take time to unwind and do those things that you truly enjoy, whether it's taking a hike, joining a sports team or treating yourself to a massage.

* Buddy Up- Don't go it alone. Find a work out buddy or accountability partner who can keep you on task. Just knowing you're not alone in your concerns can be a significant help.

It is also wise to seek a physician's assistance before starting any sort of exercise or weight-loss program. Your physician can help tailor a program to meet your needs, while keeping the goals realistic.

When contemplating body image, remember that the key word is "image." What you look like on the outside is only part of the story. The whole package includes your thoughts, feelings and actions?all of which you can control. A positive mind set is the first step towards developing a positive body image.

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Our culture transmits a very clear message about what type of body is beautiful: a tall, slender, fit, tone, young, body. Any deviation from this ideal is considered deficient and less desirable. This means that the vast majority of women feel deficient; they feel that they are less than beautiful. They believe that they should look like the photo-edited images of women on the covers of magazines. This causes millions of women to starve themselves, exercise compulsively, obsess about food and their weight, and undergo dangerous plastic surgery procedures.

Ayurveda, the ancient healing science of India, offers another perspective on what is beautiful. Ayurveda focuses on the fact that every person is unique. According to Ayurveda, it is when we understand our unique body and mind that we can begin to reveal our true beauty.

Ayurveda maintains that the physical world, and therefore the human body, is derived from a combination of five elements: ether, air, fire, water, and earth. These five elements combine to form three doshas. Doshas are the energetic principles that govern the entire human mind/body system. Your unique psycho-physiology is determined by the interaction of these three doshas. Your body type is largely determined by which dosha or doshas are predominant.

These three doshas are Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. Vata is derived from the combination of air and ether, Pitta from water and fire, and Kapha from earth and water. People with a predominance of Vata in their constitution tend to be short or very tall, often with a thin, wiry frame. They tend to have a low appetite and sometimes have difficulty gaining or maintaining their weight. Vata people tend to have weaker constitutions and can be more susceptible to imbalance. They can be very creative but often scattered and constantly jump from one thing to the next.

People with a predominance of Pitta tend to be medium-framed. They often have good muscle tone, average body weight and height, and a rosy complexion. Pitta is the principle of fire in the body, and as such it is responsible for all digestion and metabolism. For this reason, Pitta people tend to have strong appetites and become irritable if they do not eat on time. They are often very driven people who love to learn and have sharp intellects. They can be very high achievers but can often become tense and irritable under stress.

People with mostly Kapha tend to be physically very strong and sturdy. They often have excellent muscle tone, big bones, and a strong physical structure. For this reason, they can often push themselves physically and mentally without exhaustion. Many of them find stress invigorating. In balance, they tend to be compassionate and peaceful, getting along well in many situations. However, they can also tend toward complacency. They often tend to dislike exercise and love sweets, and thus can gain weight easily.

These doshas, Vata, Pitta, and Kapha govern your body and all of its processes. If you are naturally a Kapha person, it is going to be extremely destructive and untenable to make yourself look like a Vata person. Meanwhile, it would also be destructive for a Vata person to exercise as vigorously as a Kapha person. We all have all three doshas in our bodies; what causes our uniqueness is specific concentration and combination of each. Most people have two dominant doshas, such as Pitta Vata, Vata Pitta, Vata Kapha, etc. Some people have only one dominant dosha, while others have an equal combination of all three and are considered tri-doshic.

Ayurveda, however, can help you determine what your unique body/mind type is. Once you know this, you can begin to live in harmony with your unique psych-physiology instead of fighting against it in a vain attempt to be something that you are not. People of all different types, Vata, Pitta, and Kapha are equally beautiful. They all have different strengths. The key is to know what your unique physiology is so that you can honor it and use it to make healthy lifestyle choices.

Anorexia Nervosa, or commonly just called anorexia, is a psychiatric and eating disorder that is marked by the obsessive compulsion to be thin, even to the point of self-starvation.

The standard criteria for diagnosing anorexia are:

* Refusal to maintain a healthy body weight for their age and height, usually less than 85% of their ideal body weight
* An intense fear of becoming fat or gaining weight
* Disturbed views their body to the point of denial as to how thin they actually are
* Amenorrhea for three menstrual cycles, which the absence of the menstruation in reproductive women.

Anorexia is often approached in a two ways. First is the extreme limiting of food intake and second is a binge/purge behavior or excessive exercising. Anorexia is a complex disorder, which manifests itself physically, psychologically and socially. Besides the physical aspects, other sub-factors may include extreme perfectionism, over-dependency, isolation, lack of sexual activity, obsessive-compulsive behaviors and mood disorders.

Women make up 95% of anorexia cases but there are an increasing number of men who are also being diagnosed. Anorexia usually develops in adolescence with the average age of onset being between 15-17 years old.

If left untreated, anorexia can have serious, life-threatening implications. Severe cases require hospitalization and on-going patient care but there are varying degrees of anorexia that can be addressed through other avenues. Regardless of the severity, overall treatment must focus on more than just weight gain. A team approach towards treatment addresses all aspects of the patient's life.

* Medical Treatment/Nutritional Therapy- Due to the starvation of the body of needed nutrients, doctors must work to treat any medical conditions that may occur due to anorexia. Areas that are assessed include bone loss, low potassium levels, hormone imbalance, heart condition, electrolyte imbalance and low blood pressure. Medication is sometimes suggested, including anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications or atypical anti-psychotic drugs. In addition to physician care, someone suffering from anorexia needs to work closely with a nutritionist, to relearn information on a healthy diet, caloric intake, meal plans and weight goals.

* Psychotherapy- Individual, family and group therapy can all help towards the recovery process. Individual therapy can focus on self-esteem issues, distorted thinking patterns and behavior, while family therapy addresses conflicts in the family and the family dynamic. Family therapy is especially important for those individuals still living at home with their families since anorexia has far reaching impact on all family members. Group therapy provides an open, confidential environment with other sufferers. This allows her to know that she is not alone.

* Day Treatment Programs- Day treatment programs are intended for those people who are transitioning out of the hospital or who don?t need intensive inpatient anorexia treatment. Done on an outpatient basis, it?s designed to meet her specific needs and treatment goals.

* Alternative Therapies- There are many alternative therapies that can help during the anorexia recovery process. Many of the following therapies can improve self-expression and body awareness: art therapy, music therapy, psychodrama, yoga, acupuncture, meditation and relaxation techniques. Especially helpful is yoga and meditation, which allows her to become more in tune with her body, as she learns to gain control in a positive manner.

* Meditation- Meditation is an invaluable tool for helping restore balance and wholeness. Through the regular practice of meditation people come to realize that they are not their thoughts, but rather the thinker of their thoughts. They can begin to differentiate themselves from the voice of anorexia that keeps them trapped in an endless web of suffering.

Though anorexia has serious health implications when left untreated, it is encouraging to note that 50% of those who suffer from the disorder will recover without relapse or multiple treatments, if they receive appropriate treatment. There are a wide variety of treatment modalities that can aid in the success of recovery. Anorexia does not have to be a lifelong struggle. It can be overcome.

Bulimia Nervosa is a very serious eating disorder that if not properly treated can be life-threatening. It is characterized by patterns of the binge eating of large quantities of food and then purging it by means of vomiting, laxatives or compulsive exercising. Since people suffering from bulimia are often of normal body weight, it might not be apparent that they're struggling with this disorder.

Some important warning signs that could signal bulimia include the following:

* The disappearance of large quantities of food
* Purging behaviors such as, frequent trips to the bathroom after meals, the smell of vomit or the presence of laxative and/or diet pill packaging
* Preoccupation with their weight
* Dieting or exercising obsessively
* Swollen cheeks or jaw area
* Broken blood vessels in the eyes
* Chronic throat inflammation
* Eroded teeth
* Teeth marks on fingers

Bulimia can create serious medical complications, including gastric distress, constipation or diarrhea, due to the extreme use of laxatives. They also might have an increase in dental cavities because of the erosion to their tooth enamel.

Approximately 80% of those diagnosed with bulimia are female. Onset of the condition usually occurs in adolescence or early adulthood, though it is important to note that men and women in all age ranges, socio-economic status and ethnicities can have bulimia. Bulimia is a very secretive disease and those struggling with it will often go to great lengths to try to hide their disorder. Bulimia can often be a response to depression, anxiety or stress. The binge eating often gives them a sense of release and euphoria, but it then immediate turns into guilt and self-loathing.

Treatment for bulimia can include anything from hospital care to outpatient counseling, depending on the severity.

* Medical Treatment- Initially, the medical professionals need to assess any serious medical conditions due to bulimia including dental concerns, gastrointestinal problems, kidney disorders or dehydration. If conditions are life-threatening, then inpatient care will be necessary. Doctors will assess whether medication is needed to treat depression or other mood disorders that are working in conjunction with the bulimia, since anti-depressants may speed up the recovery process. Medication levels must be monitored closely, since vomiting and laxative use can reduce its effectiveness.
* Psychotherapy- Individuals with bulimia can find help with therapy, whether it is individual, family, group or a combination of the three. Counseling and behavior therapy focus on the issues of low self-esteem and distorted self-image that can be the basis for the bulimic behaviors occurring. Family therapy not only educates the family about the disorder and how to deal with it, but it can also focus on improving family dynamics. Group therapy provides individuals with support through confidential group sessions, which allows participants to relate to others who are going through similar issues.
* Meditation- Meditation is an invaluable tool for helping restore balance and wholeness. Through the regular practice of meditation people come to realize that they are not their thoughts, but rather the thinker of their thoughts. They can begin to differentiate themselves from the voice of bulimia that keeps them trapped in an endless web of suffering.

The ultimate goal of treating bulimia is to help learn the skills necessary to live a healthy and productive life, both physically and emotionally. Medical intervention is sometimes needed but counseling, group therapy and meditation are all excellent resources that can aid in a successful recovery.

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Binge eating is a newly recognized eating disorder, first officially recognized in 1992. Binge eating is defined as frequently eating large quantities of food without self control and followed by extreme shame, guilt and embarrassment. Unlike those afflicted with bulimia, people with a binge eating disorder eat do not purge their food. Frequently they will eat in secret and will continue to eat even when they're not hungry. Binge eating is not just the occasional over indulgence in food but a regular, consistent compulsion to eat until physically ill.

It is important to know that binge eating can also occur as a response to self-starvation or anorexia, and it can occur as a step along the path of healing bulimia.

Often times, binge eaters suffer from depression, but it is unclear whether the depression causes the overeating or whether the lack of self-control causes the depression. The most common health risk in binge eating is those symptoms closely associated with obesity.

Other health risks include:

* Diabetes
* High cholesterol
* Heart disease
* Gallbladder disease
* High blood pressure

Binge eating is the most common eating disorder with over four million Americans suffering from the disorder. Unlike bulimia and anorexia, there are also a higher percentage of men who binge eat. Nearly 60% of binge eaters are still women, but surprisingly 40% of those who have the condition are men.

Binge eating has a level of shame associated with the disease. Treatment is not as frequently sought because the binge eater often believes she just needs to "get control" of her eating issues. She will often believe that her obesity and health problems are her fault. Treating binge eating is almost always done on an out-patient level:

* Cognitive-behavior therapy - In order to develop healthy and natural eating patterns, patients and therapists work together to plan and change eating behaviors. Therapy centers on attitudinal and behavioral disturbances in regard to weight, eating and body image. Treatment focuses on learning new coping skills for negative moods, unproductive thinking and stress. Clients are also taught meal planning, nutritional basics and relapse prevention.

* Interpersonal psychotherapy - Individual or group therapy address issues such as self-esteem and confidence, while also examining the relational dynamics. Traditional psychotherapy can be supplement by expressive or alternative therapies including art therapy, yoga, music therapy, role-playing and self-help groups.

* Specialized weight-loss program - Some studies have shown that people who binge eat are less likely to be successful in traditional weight-loss programs. Because the core eating disorder was not addressed, they will often quickly regain any weight they have lost. The most successful weight-loss programs for binge eaters are those that address the eating disorder head on and are used in conjunction with cognitive-behavior therapy.

* Drug therapy - Recently new drugs and clinical testing have seemed to help with binge eating disorder. Since there can be issues with depression, anti-depressants are often prescribed. Another drug called Topiramate (Topamax) has also had a positive effect on controlling binge eating disorder and obsessive-compulsive behaviors. Since the binge eating disorder as a diagnosis is so new, there are no long-term studies yet, addressing the effectiveness of drug therapy.

* Meditation - Meditation can be very helpful in treating binge eating disorder. Over time, a regular meditation practice can begin to change habitual behavior patterns, allowing people to make healthier and more evolutionary choices.

It's promising to note that most people who suffer from binge eating disorder can do well in treatment and overcome its symptoms. The first step is asking for help - don't let yourself be trapped by feelings of shame and secrecy!

Does your daughter love her body? Or does she suffer from that nagging sense that she is not quite good enough?

In a culture of stick-thin models, our daughters are embarking on a dangerous path of body dissatisfaction, with dieting, bingeing, and purging. Fortunately, there are things you can do to show her she is beautiful just the way she is.

The Statistics:

The statistics speak for themselves: 80-90% of adult women dislike their bodies. 15% of women say they would sacrifice more than five years of their lives to be thinner, while 24% say they would sacrifice up to three years of their life.

We have passed this pathological dissatisfaction onto our daughters: 81% of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat, 78% of 18-year-old girls are unhappy with their bodies, and the number one wish of girls 11-17 years old is to lose weight. 51% of 9 and 10 year-old girls feel better about themselves when dieting, and 9% of 9-year-olds have vomited to lose weight.

The fact is that if you are not proactive in affirming your daughter's natural beauty and self-worth, chances are she will be seduced by the cultural lies that tell her she is not quite good enough.

Fortunately, you can show your child she is beautiful just as she is, right now. Here are 5 steps for improving your daughter's body-image:

*Become an example: When you improve your own body image and eliminate negative body-talk, this will dramatically help your child.

*Discuss the concept of beauty with your child - teach her to recognize beauty in people of all different shapes, sizes, ages, and ethnicities. Beauty is more than skin deep and is much more diverse then what is shown in fashion magazines. Let them know that the images in magazines aren't real; they have been touched-up and air-brushed.

*Let your child know that you love her exactly how she is, no matter what. Encourage healthy lifestyle choices, but avoid suggesting that your child should look a specific way or be a certain weight or size

*Teach your child to be grateful for exactly who she is. If you are religious, you can teach her the following prayer: "Thank you God for making me just the way I am." If you are not religious, you can simply teach her to repeat this phrase to herself, acknowledging all the great characteristics she has, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

*Encourage mind-body centering activities such as yoga and meditation. Numerous studies show the health benefits of meditation. Learning to meditate will help your daughter reduce her stress and increase her ability to navigate the challenges of adolescent life. Meditation will also help her become conscious of her thoughts: negative thoughts and feelings can have a negative effect on her well-being, whereas positive thoughts and emotions have the power to transform for the better. Teach her that she can make choices about which of her thoughts she is going to listen to, and which she is going to ignore.

So you are not anorexic, and you are not bulimic, and you don't binge eat most of the time, but do you love your body? According to the latest statistics, the answer is probably "no". And if you don't love your body, you may be stifling your creativity, draining your energy, and limiting your potential. You may be flirting subtly and not so subtly with body loathing, and if left unchecked, it can turn into a mountain of dissatisfaction.

The Statistics:
Most people do not have acute eating disorders, but 80-90% of adult women dislike their bodies. 15% of women say they would sacrifice more than five years of their lives to be thinner, while 24% say they would sacrifice up to three years of their life. These numbers are equally disconcerting for teen girls. 81% of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat, and the number one wish of girls 11-17 years old is to lose weight.

The fact is that if you are not proactive in affirming your natural beauty and self-worth, chances are that you are reacting to a society that constantly says you are not good enough or at least that you should be better than you are. In a society that constantly promotes weight loss, wrinkle-free, and youthful beauty, it can be a Herculean task to feel good about yourself as you are. If you do not feel great about your own body, chances are your daughter will face a similar struggle. Fortunately, there are things you can do to improve your own body-acceptance as well as empower your children to fully accept themselves.

Signs that you may be suffering:
There are a number of signs that you may be suffering from body loathing. If you engage in the following activities, you may not be fully in love with your fabulous body.

Do you:

*Avoid looking in mirrors?

*When you look in the mirror, obsess about a particular body part or perceived flaw?

*Dread trying on clothes?

*Become depressed after trying on clothes?

*Experience anxiety about your jeans feeling tight?

*Avoid bathing suits or shorts because of body dissatisfaction?

*Worry regularly about gaining weight?

*Feel uncomfortable being naked and feel like you need to "hide"?

*Become self-conscious when your lover caresses certain parts of your body?

*Suck in your stomach when you see your reflection in a window?

*Beat yourself up if you eat too much at one meal?

Many of these behaviors are considered "normal" for women in today's culture. You may have these experiences multiple times every day. What you may not realize is the negative effect that this is having on your well-being.

There is a growing body of scientific evidence explaining how our thoughts and emotions influence our physiology. When we think negative thoughts or experience negative emotions, there is a direct impact on our psychophysiology. This is especially true when the negative thoughts and emotions are directed toward ourselves. Whenever we think negative thoughts about ourselves, we are affirming the notion that we are not good enough as we are. The more we believe we are not good enough, the worse we feel. The worse we feel, the less energy we have and the less effective we can be in every area of our lives. Our vibrancy, enthusiasm, and creativity, slowly get siphoned away. Instead being engaged in the world to make a difference, our talents become co-opted by negative body thoughts. Conversely, when we feel great about ourselves, we can accomplish the miraculous and live extraordinary lives. When we love and accept ourselves fully, we become capable of feats we never even believed were possible. The better we feel about our bodies, the more we are willing to love and accept ourselves fully, the greater our ability to create and live the life of our dreams.

Tips for overcoming body loathing and unleashing the power of your potential:

Cultivate gratitude: Every day, come up with a list of 5 things that you are grateful for about yourself. Gratitude is a potent force that can transform your negative outlook into a positive one.

Be conscious about your thoughts: when you catch yourself thinking a negative body thought, choose not to listen to it.

Re-populate your thinking: when you get rid of a negative body thought, come up with something positive to say to yourself instead

Focus on noticing the beauty in everyone you see: As you break free from the hypnosis of social conditioning you will find beauty in yourself and everyone around you.

Learn to meditate: meditation will help you break free from habitual thought patterns and programmed responses

Again, be proactive in affirming yourself. Don't let society determine your self-worth. Instead, set a new standard for beauty.

For Parents:

If you are a parent, your subtle body loathing can undermine your child's ability to develop a healthy body image. Fortunately there are a number of things that you can do to help your child develop a healthy body image:

Become an example: When you improve your own body image and eliminate negative body-talk, this will dramatically help your child.

Discuss the concept of beauty with your child - teach them to recognize beauty in people of all different shapes, sizes, ages, and ethnicities

Encourage healthy lifestyle choices, but avoid suggesting that your child should look a specific way or be a certain weight or size

If your child is exposed to beauty magazines and television shows, make sure you talk about body image. Let them know that the images in magazines aren't real; they have been touched-up and air-brushed.

Let your child know that you love her exactly how she is, no matter what

Teach your child to be grateful for exactly who she is. If you are religious, you can teach her the following prayer: "Thank you God for making me just the way I am." If you are not religious, you can simply teach her to repeat this phrase to herself, acknowledging all the great characteristics she has, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Do you love your body? No really, do you?

If you're a woman, chances are you don't. Studies show that 80-90% of adult women dislike their bodies. In fact, many of them truly hate their own bodies. Women as young as five years old and as old as ninety-five, of varying ethnicities, shapes and sizes, and disparate socio-economic groups, share at least one thing in common: they dislike their bodies.

BreakFreeBeauty.com

15% of women say they would sacrifice more than five years of their lives, and 24% of women say they would give up more than three years of their life. Approximately 50% of women said that they smoked to control their body weight.

81% of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat, 78% of 18-year-old girls are unhappy with their bodies, and the number one wish of girls 11-17 years old is to lose weight. 51% of 9 and 10 year-old girls feel better about themselves when dieting, and 9% of 9-year-olds have vomited to lose weight.
Eating disorders are the third most common chronic illness in adolescent girls, and have the highest death rate of any mental illness. Research suggests that approximately 1% of female adolescents have anorexia, while 4% of college-age women have bulimia. 50% of people who have been anorexic develop bulimia or bulimic patterns.
Disordered eating often begins as a simple diet. More than half of teenage girls are, or think they should be, on a diet. 91% of women surveyed on a college campus had attempted to control their weight through dieting. Unfortunately, studies show unequivocally that most diets don't work. 95% of dieters will regain their lost weight in 1-5 years.
35% of "normal dieters" progress to pathological dieting. Of these, 20-25% progress to partial of full-syndrome eating disorders.

Intense body dissatisfaction and disordered eating have been steadily increasing over time, with anorexia increasing each decade since 1930, and the incidence of bulimia tripling between 1988 and 1993.
This body dissatisfaction is often aimed at a particular body part. A 1997 study in Psychology Today shows that "there's more discontent with the shape of our bodies than ever before%u2026the negative focus remains on our visible attributes, the ones that display fat%u2026"The article states that "Looking at your stomach in the mirror is an extreme downer for 44 percent of women%u2026" Most body dissatisfaction focuses on the hips, thighs, and stomach, with most women feeling there is too much fat and flab.
Fortunately, you can change the way you feel about your body, without changing your weight or your clothing size. You can begin to take steps now to learn how to love your body, including all of its parts. It takes effort to re-program our thoughts and attitudes about ourselves, but with a little practice you can begin to love your body and unleash the energy and power that can be trapped by Negative Body Obsession.

Tips for Learning to Love Your Body

Cultivate gratitude: Every day, come up with a list of 5 things that you are grateful for about yourself. Gratitude is a potent force that can transform your negative outlook into a positive one. Make at least one of these things physical. When you wake up in the morning, again at lunch, and before going to bed, silently remind yourself of what you are grateful for in yourself and your life.

Focus on what you like about yourself. Many great spiritual traditions teach us that what we put our attention on grows. Pick things about yourself that you value and appreciate physically, mentally, and emotionally. As you go throughout your day, focus on these things. Become aware of the many great things your do throughout the day and become proud of yourself.

Be conscious about your thoughts: when you catch yourself thinking a negative body thought, choose not to listen to it. Gently shift your attention to those things that you like about yourself. Re-populate your thinking!

Find the beauty in everyone you see. Most of us have learned to see our bodies and everyone else's through a lens of judgment. Whenever we meet someone we size them up and compare ourselves to them: "She is fat; he is thin; he must not exercise; her butt looks large; Oh - I wish I had her abs%u2026" Practice viewing without this judgment. Whenever you meet someone, focus on finding the beauty in them, no matter their shape, size, age, or ethnicity.

Learn to meditate: meditation will help you break free from habitual thought patterns and programmed responses. Meditation will help you connect with your essence and help you discover the beauty in the mere process of creation.

Engage what I call the Mirror Exercise. Every evening before going to bed, stand in front of the mirror with your clothes off. Begin by looking yourself in the eye and saying, "I love and accept myself just as I am. I am grateful for who I am." Then begin to slowly work your way down your body, expressing love, gratitude, and appreciation for each part of your body. This can be very challenging if you have spent years hating your body or being dissatisfied by your appearance. If you practice this exercise regularly, however, you will begin to see your body through eyes of love and compassion, instead of with eyes of frustration and resentment.

In a culture of stick-thin models, our young adolescents are embarking on a dangerous path of dieting, bingeing, and purging. Here is how to tell your daughter is at risk, as well as tips and exercises to help improve body-image in your household.

The Statistics:

Sadly, the statistics speak for themselves: 80-90% of adult women dislike their bodies. 15% of women say they would sacrifice more than five years of their lives to be thinner, while 24% say they would sacrifice up to three years of their life.

We have passed this pathological dissatisfaction onto our daughters: 81% of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat, 78% of 18-year-old girls are unhappy with their bodies, and the number one wish of girls 11-17 years old is to lose weight. 51% of 9 and 10 year-old girls feel better about themselves when dieting, and 9% of 9-year-olds have vomited to lose weight.

Eating disorders are the third most common chronic illness in adolescent girls, and have the highest death rate of any mental illness. Research suggests that approximately 1% of female adolescents have anorexia, while 4% of college-age women have bulimia. 50% of people who have been anorexic develop bulimia or bulimic patterns.

Disordered eating often begins as a simple diet. More than half of teenage girls are, or think they should be, on a diet. 91% of women surveyed on a college campus had attempted to control their weight through dieting. Unfortunately, studies show unequivocally that most diets don't work. 95% of dieters will regain their lost weight in 1-5 years.

35% of "normal dieters" progress to pathological dieting. Of these, 20-25% progress to partial of full-syndrome eating disorders.

Intense body dissatisfaction and disordered eating have been steadily increasing over time, with anorexia increasing each decade since 1930, and the incidence of bulimia tripling between 1988 and 1993.

The chances are good that your daughter is struggling with her body image. Adolescence is an incredibly formative time in terms of self-esteem and body acceptance. A positive body-image cultivated during this time will serve her throughout her life, while a negative body image can take years to overcome.

How can you tell if your daughter is struggling with her body image? Here are some sure-fired signs:

Going on a diet

Obsessing about food choices

Restricting her food intake and then eating compulsively

Changes in her eating pattern or exercise regimes

Reducing or limiting her social time in favor of exercise

Avoiding social interaction that involves food or meal times

Voicing dissatisfaction with her appearance

Obsessing about a particular body part

Comparing herself to her peers and feeling deficient

The fact is that if you are not proactive in affirming your daughter's natural beauty and self-worth, chances are she will be seduced by the cultural lies that tell her she is not quite good enough. This negative body image and disordered eating can cause tremendous strain on your daughter's well-being. When she is not feeling good about herself, her energy, her enthusiasm, and her vitality can seem to disappear, clouded over by anxiety about her body weight and her appearance. Your daughter may become withdrawn as her vibrancy is stifled by body-image concerns.

Fortunately, there are things you can do to help. Regardless of your daughter's age, you can help her to cultivate a positive body-image and healthy self-esteem.

Become an example: When you improve your own body image and eliminate negative body-talk, this will dramatically help your child.

Discuss the concept of beauty with your child - teach them to recognize beauty in people of all different shapes, sizes, ages, and ethnicities

Encourage healthy lifestyle choices, but avoid suggesting that your child should look a specific way or be a certain weight or size

If your child is exposed to beauty magazines and television shows, make sure you talk about body image. Let them know that the images in magazines aren't real; they have been touched-up and air-brushed.

Let your child know that you love her exactly how she is, no matter what.

Teach your child to be grateful for exactly who she is. If you are religious, you can teach her the following prayer: "Thank you God for making me just the way I am." If you are not religious, you can simply teach her to repeat this phrase to herself, acknowledging all the great characteristics she has, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Teach her to be conscious about her thoughts: negative thoughts and feelings can have a negative effect on her well-being, whereas positive thoughts and emotions have the power to transform for the better.

Ultimately, body-image struggles and disordered eating are a cry for help. They are often a way for adolescents to avoid coping with difficult emotions and manage the stresses of life. Teaching your kids important skills for stress management and emotional intelligence can also help them develop healthy self-esteem and body-image.

Be there for your child! Take the time to learn about her friendships, struggles, and triumphs. This will allow you to provide guidance as appropriate, as well as catch behavior changes when they occur.

Encourage conscious communication. Techniques such as Marshall Rosenberg's Non-violent Communication can help your adolescent to understand and communicate her needs, wants, and desires.

Encourage mind-body centering activities such as yoga and meditation. Numerous studies show the health benefits of meditation. Learning to meditate will help your daughter reduce her stress and increase her ability to navigate the challenges of adolescent life.

Note: Although this article focuses on young women, men are not immune from eating disorders. If you suspect that your adolescent male is suffering from negative body image, the same principles apply.

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Every woman living in this culture knows the standard for beauty: you should be thin, young, and toned, and the thinner the better. Of course, having large breasts is a bonus. This is the message that is projected by the media, and it is a message the most women have listened to, putting them at war with their own bodies and creating feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy, and dissatisfaction.

How many women look at their bodies and think they are beautiful? Very few. According to statistics, 80%-90% of women don't like their bodies. In fact, many of them hate their own bodies. This dissatisfaction affects women regardless of their body size, age, or ethnicity. They can be young or old, fat or thin, from various ethnic backgrounds, yet they share one thing in common: dissatisfaction with and disappointment in their bodies.
Our culture projects a clear message that one-size-fits-all in terms of body size and shape. Nature, however, has a different view. Women come in an infinite variety of shapes and sizes, colors and complexions, all of which are beautiful and deserve honor and respect. Sadly, our vision has become eclipsed: we have accepted the cultural lies that tell us we are not beautiful unless we are a size two.

So we are faced with a choice: we can try to force our bodies to become a size two, hoping that we will like ourselves then, or we can live with constant dissatisfaction and disappointment, believing that our bodies are inadequate in some way.

But wait - isn't there another choice? Yes, there is. The other option is to learn to love, honor, and accept our bodies and ourselves as we are, right now. We can begin to accept ourselves as we are, without believing that we need to be different. When we do this, we can begin to discover our inherent beauty, our unique radiance that makes us shine brilliantly. This can only be accessed, however, when we are willing to step out of the cultural paradigm that says we are not good enough unless we are a size two.

Changing our vision of beauty and accepting our bodies and ourselves completely is not an easy task. It takes a concerted effort to counteract the message that we are being fed daily through the media and the culture. With a little practice, however, you can transform the way you look and feel, unleashing a reservoir of vibrancy, energy, enthusiasm, and creativity.

Here are some tips for learning to love your body and transform your vision of yourself:

Become aware of your own thoughts regarding beauty:
Have you defined beauty narrowly, either for yourself or others? Do you only think thin is beautiful? Or can you find beauty in everybody? Notice if you make judgments about other people's beauty as you go throughout your day.

Be willing to change your definition of beauty:
If you notice that you have subscribed to a culturally-dictated vision of beauty, be willing to expand your views. When you look at other people and when you look at yourself, practice finding beauty. What makes someone unique? What makes her shine? Is it because she is a size two? Usually not. It is the infectious way she laughs; it is the gentle warmth of her smile. It is the strength of her muscles, or the softness of her curves. Everyone has different features. Unfortunately they often go unnoticed because we are focusing on what we should be, instead of the beautiful beings that we are in fact. Where is your beauty? As we learn to see the beauty in others we can learn to see the beauty in ourselves, and visa-versa.

Practice gratitude
Yes, gratitude is a practice, and when engaged in regularly it will transform your life. It is so easy, in fact it is automatic, to pick out what we don't like about ourselves, what we think should be different. We look in the mirror and grimace at the wrinkles, the sags, and the cellulite. Instead, practice standing in front of the mirror and honoring your body with gratitude. What features do you like about your body? What has your body done for you? What illnesses has it healed you of? What activities has it let you participate in? Every evening, stand naked in front of the mirror and honor your body with thanks and gratitude. This can be very challenging, since most of us don't like to look in the mirror because of our harsh, critical, and judgmental voices. If you practice this exercise diligently, however, you will slowly transform you relationship to your body and yourself.

Focus on healthy lifestyle choices - and let go of the outcome.
Being healthy is a good thing. Life is much easier when we feel at the top of our game physically, mentally, and emotionally. "Being healthy", however, can often become code language for "trying to restrict our food so that we get our body closer to some false ideal." Therefore, practice making healthy choices without being attached to what might change on the outside. Focus on choices that make you feel good on the inside. Most people feel better when the exercise or practice yoga and eat healthy foods, including plenty of fruits and vegetables. Make healthy choices, but let go of an attachment to the outcome. When you consistently make healthy choices, your body will slowly find a healthy equilibrium. Our body's intelligence is astounding; we need only provide the right environment.

Practice compassion with yourself:
One of the most important things we can offer ourselves is unconditional love and acceptance. Some of us received this unconditional love growing up; many of us did not. Regardless, we need to offer this love to ourselves. Wherever your body is at, whatever health challenges you have had, whatever unhealthy choices you have made, be gentle with yourself. Let yourself know that you have done the best you could. It is only from this place of gentle love, acceptance, and compassion that we can begin to heal, grow, and develop into the radiant beings that we are.

Lasting change begins with us. In order to create a culture that honors women for their unique beauty, we must first learn to see ourselves with love, compassion, and acceptance. We must find and honor our own beauty; only then will we be able to create a culture that honors women in all their varying shapes and sizes.

Pounds and Popularity:
How friendships influence your daughter's weight

Is your daughter's weight the result of her social network?

A recent study authored by Adina Lemeshow claims that feeling unpopular can actually lead to weight gain in girls ranging from 12-18-years-old. The study showed that girls who perceived themselves as "unpopular" were 69 percent more likely to gain two points on the body mass index scale in the subsequent years following the original survey.

The fact is, maintaining a healthy weight is not just about food choices; it's about self-esteem, self-worth, and a healthy emotional life. Diet is not just about what we eat but how we feel. Healthy eating practices and nutrition are well-known by many people, but what affects whether or not they make healthy choices is almost always related to how they feel about themselves and their life.

Feeling good about one's self is what allows a person to make healthy choices. If a person feel unpopular or inadequate, they are more likely to compensate with food. Unfortunately, the weight gain will then increase their feelings of being socially unpopular and unacceptable.

Conversely, when a child feels good about herself and her friends, she is more likely to make healthy food choices, which will help her maintain a healthy weight. Maintaining a healthy weight can help her feel more comfortable in social situations and with friends.

"Food can often be a source of comfort and safety. When girls feel insecure about their popularity, food is often used as a replacement for healthy relationships."

Perhaps unpopular girls do not feel like they can gain much from being thin, but it is also likely that food is a poor substitute for friendships. Food feeds the body, and friendships feed the heart. Unfortunately, when people are lacking friendships, they use food to feed the heart, which strains the body.

If your daughter has been struggling with unwanted weight gain, the solution may not be found in the dietary arena. The solution may be found in the social realm.

Instead of solely focusing on what she eats, help her develop other ways to feed her body and her soul. Here are some tips for improving her self-esteem and helping her weight in the process:

Find nurturing social environments

Adolescence is a challenging time. For some, school is a sanctuary, whereas for others it is a prison. If your daughter doesn't fit in with the "cool" crowd at school, find other outlets where she can socialize. Some ideas include theater troupes, dance lessons, yoga classes, sports, and volunteer activities. She might not bond well with her classmates, but she can develop wonderful friendships in other activities. New activities and friendships will help bolster her self-esteem and help her feel good about herself.

Encourage yoga and meditation

Yoga and meditation are wonderful tools for helping your daughter get in touch with her feelings and her body. These mind-body disciplines can help her to feel her feelings instead of using food to quell uncomfortable sensations. They will help her reduce her stress and cope more effectively with the challenges of adolescent life.

Help her hone her communication skills

Communication is essential to building healthy relationships. Help your daughter to become aware of what she is feeling and then be able to communicate those feelings to other people. Learning to understand and express her emotions will serve her throughout her life. The more capable she is of navigating her emotional life the less need she will have to rely on food as a source of comfort. She will also have a greater ability to build meaningful and lasting relationships.

Be there for her!

Nothing can substitute for parental love and affection during adolescence. As your daughter navigates through the teenage years, it can feel like she is pushing you away. The fact is that she needs you more than ever. Give her space, but don't let her feel alone. Assure her that you are always there to talk about anything. Try to serve as a sounding board for her and resist giving advice until she is ready for it. The more she feels like she can express herself without being judged harshly, the more likely she will be to share.

Be willing to seek professional help if necessary

Sometimes it may be helpful for your daughter to talk to someone who is not a member of her family. Trained professionals, such as psychotherapists, can help identify problematic patterns and behaviors and help your daughter to make more effective choices in every area of her life.

Affirm her self-worth

If your daughter feels unpopular at school, you may need to offer her extra reassurance. Receiving approval from her parents can seem second-best to receiving it from her peer-group, but it can make a profound impact. Tell your daughter about her wonderful qualities; teach her to be grateful for the wonderful and glorious person she is. Learning how to offer herself love and support is a skill that will serve her throughout her life.