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From the lens Loving An Alcoholic.

Please leave you comments, stories, or words of inspiration here.

  • jeromeyoung May 29, 2012 @ 3:03 am | delete
    It's not an easy thing to deal with, but you were a fighter. You'll rip the rewards of your excellent virtue.
  • TransplantedSoul Apr 25, 2012 @ 2:20 pm | delete
    He's a lucky man to have someone like you to give him a second chance. I'm glad that things worked out for you!
  • siobhanryan Mar 11, 2012 @ 12:23 am | delete
    Moving story--know the story as the daughter of an alcoholic and then became one. Like you say-no one could make me stop but me
  • mihgasper Mar 9, 2012 @ 6:47 am | delete
    I see alcoholics destroying themselves and their environment every single day. You said it is a decision of one person - alcoholic himself - if he will stop drinking or not. I must add it is decision of all us - the society - if anybody starts drinking at all.
    Thanks for sharing your touching story. Keep it up!
  • chrisssy Feb 29, 2012 @ 6:51 pm | delete
    Thank you for sharing. My husband has been sending me on this up and down roller coaster for years and I dont know what to do anymore. It's definitely got physical before, going as far as me being inches away from death. I've left over and over again but no matter what, i've always found my way back. I realized a long time ago that it's not my decision for him to change but I also know he does want to change for himself he just cant because it "physically hurts", as he says. He's gone to meetings, gone to counselling, stopped cold turkey for almost a month, went to jail (not because of me)....he's done it all but nothing helps him and it's near impossible to get him to reach out and talk to me...I just dont know what to do anymore because I know I dont want to leave again
  • PaulaSquidoo Feb 8, 2012 @ 10:08 am | delete
    Thank you for sharing. You are very strong and courageous.
  • fullofshoes Feb 6, 2012 @ 12:32 pm | delete
    This is a wonderful, meaningful lens. My first husband was an alcoholic but the story did not end as yours did. I wish you the very best.
  • djroll Jan 31, 2012 @ 2:28 pm | delete
    Beautifully written. Nominating this page for LOTD.
  • ti Jan 17, 2012 @ 12:20 am | delete
    I happy you guys survived. my husband is an alcoholic and it is getting increasingly harder to take. I want to support him, but he doesn't think getting seeking help will help him he thinks he can do it all by himself "tomorrow". Praying for you and your family and for giving hope.
  • hunksparrow Nov 23, 2011 @ 10:59 pm | delete
    Wonderful lens. My wife lost her brother last year due to alcoholism. I will be sharing this with her.
  • JoeCinocca Nov 23, 2011 @ 1:15 am | delete
    I know that this was difficult for you to put together. I was raised in an alcoholic family and this lens, while hard to digest, reminds me of tons of things that happened during my childhood. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for taking the time to put your thoughts down on this. It's an extremely touchy subject and shakes you to your core. I feel like I know a lot more about you know by reading this. You are one strong woman.
  • wolfie10 Nov 21, 2011 @ 12:58 am | delete
    thank you as i know how you feel. being confronted with the same problem for some time now and always torn between moving on and giving it one more go.
  • bloomingrose Nov 20, 2011 @ 10:33 pm | delete
    Good luck to you and thanks for sharing such sensitive material.
  • bikerministry Oct 24, 2011 @ 8:46 pm | delete
    Thank you for being transparent. My husband and I have been on a similar journey, but we are 33 years clean and sober. I couldn't change him so I joined him. I have a lens about our journey, "Broken-my story of addiction and redemption." Squid Angel Blessing and to you and your family my prayers for strength and wisdom come your way. One Day At A Time, right?
  • MindMart Jul 6, 2011 @ 3:34 pm | delete
    Thank you for sharing your experiences. People who aren't as bold will benefit from it.
  • karmicchristian Jun 3, 2011 @ 12:51 pm | delete
    Great courage to write about your travails. Great and an inspiring lens. IMO, "Alcohol is not the enemy, the enemy lies within". God bless and have a great day. :)
  • RenaissanceWoman2010 May 30, 2011 @ 11:18 am | delete
    I deeply appreciate the courage and love it took to write about these struggles. Thank you for a powerful tribute. **Squid Angel blessed.** Wishing you much joy and peace.
  • SylviaRolfe Apr 4, 2011 @ 7:13 pm | delete
    Thank you for sharing your story. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
  • joanv334 Jan 31, 2011 @ 4:14 am | delete
    Hello, thanks for sharing!
  • Momsbusy247 Dec 31, 2010 @ 7:15 pm | delete
    That is a tough story to tell I know but I also know it is part of your healing process. Hopefully Roger is still working on his healing! Good luck to you both.
  • ajgodinho Dec 27, 2010 @ 6:54 pm | delete
    Wow, I'm sure it was not easy to share this, but I'm glad that you did. And more importantly, I'm blessed to know that things have turned around. I pray that whatever you guys went through only makes your marriage and family stronger. Wishing you all the best for the season and blessings for the New Year ahead! **Blessed by a Squid-Angel**
  • ToTheBrimm Dec 11, 2010 @ 10:13 pm | delete
    Mr. Bernhart is a lucky man. I can't give an Angel's Blessing, but I can say a prayer for you and family.
  • javrsmith Dec 10, 2010 @ 3:03 pm | delete
    Keep the faith. Here's another Squid Angel blessing. The Squidoo community wants you both to succeed.
  • LisaAuch Sep 27, 2010 @ 2:47 am | delete
    Thankyou for sharing this story, not only is it very personal, but it is these stories of hope that people need to read~! Congratualtions on the Purple Star, a very well deserving Award
  • WeddingZazzle Sep 20, 2010 @ 3:51 pm | delete
    Thank you for sharing. Blessed by a SquidAngel :)
  • whitemoss Sep 17, 2010 @ 4:22 am | delete
    I wanted to revisit this lens now I'm an angel to sprinkle some blessings. I've added it to my SquidAngel lens too. Thank you.
  • riff999 Sep 14, 2010 @ 12:43 am | delete
    Thanks for sharing this story. It was very engrossing and I was touched. It hit close to home.
  • Pastiche Sep 13, 2010 @ 2:18 pm | delete
    The rest of the story shows what a strong and loving woman you are ... best wishes to you and your husband as he takes it a day at a time. I wish my father had been able to confront his disease before he died. Other men I've known have, and I respect them for their will to fight it. It's not your fault, but it's to your credit that you are still together and he is making his recovery work. Bless you both ...
  • Lois aka lokackl May 19, 2010 @ 12:34 pm | delete
    Just circling back with a SquidAngel Blessing.
  • liveyourbalance Apr 26, 2010 @ 1:22 am | delete
    wow, a truely inspiring journey and I applaud you for the strength it took to get through the hard times. I wish for you many many more good times. Your very strong and dedicated.
  • ShirlW Apr 23, 2010 @ 8:30 am | delete
    Oh my gosh, I don't know how I missed this lens until now. How touching and beautifully written. It's obvious it's straight from the heart. I am applauding both you and Roger as loud as I can. You for your perseverance and faith, Roger for having the courage and commitment to change. I pray for your continued success.
  • Boomer27 Mar 11, 2010 @ 4:26 pm | delete
    Jessica, you have written from your heart on this one. To make the step you did took true courage. I wish you the best of the rest of your life even though with alcoholism it is always one day at a time. Thank you for having the courage to write this and to your husband who took the step to stay clean and sober. Congratulations on 2 years!
  • LeanneChesser Feb 11, 2010 @ 5:53 pm | delete
    Jessica, I'm re-visiting some of the lenses that have struck me deeply. This is one of them. Blessed.
  • ljpatton Feb 10, 2010 @ 10:15 pm | delete
    Great lens, I am going through the same thing with my husband. It's nice to hear that your story had a happy ending.
  • Gloriousconfusion Jan 23, 2010 @ 1:52 am | delete
    It was good to read a positive story of love and hope coming out of a precarious situation
  • arncyn Jan 14, 2010 @ 2:51 am | delete
    I admire you for having the courage to write about your story, and I have tremendous respect for you for giving your husband and marriage another chance. You have touched me with your lens and I wish you a lifetime of happiness. *blessed by an angel*
  • Sylvestermouse Jan 13, 2010 @ 10:27 am | delete
    This lens has such a powerful message! Well, actually, depending on where you are and what is happening around you, the message could affect you differently. A side note from the overall importance of this lens is that I am surprised at how many people honestly do not realize that you can become an alcoholic if you only drink beer. I admire your husband for facing his problem and going through the struggle to change! Amazing that he has come so far that he would even support you telling your side in this public forum!

    Congratulations on being chosen the top "About Me" lens in the Giant Squid Challenge (100 club). Angel Blessed and added to Squid Angel Mouse Tracks!
  • prosperity66 Jan 12, 2010 @ 5:38 pm | delete
    I'm back to give some more love to your story.
    SquidAngel blessings to the lens :)
  • LizMac60 Jan 12, 2010 @ 5:15 pm | delete
    You must be made of pretty tough stuff girl to keep going the way you have. My love for an alcoholic took me through seven years then I opted out. God bless
  • Pukeko Jan 12, 2010 @ 1:57 pm | delete
    Very helpful lens about loving an alcoholic. I see why it won the about me lens (giant 100 club). Congrats.
  • vallain Jan 12, 2010 @ 7:36 am | delete
    You have some excellent points here. I must ponder them.
  • BevsPaper Jan 1, 2010 @ 7:47 pm | delete
    Wonderfully written with love and compassion, I know it will help many!
  • Kate-Phizackerley Dec 30, 2009 @ 2:45 pm | delete
    You know I think you write great lenses and this is another one. Blessed.
  • prosperity66 Dec 28, 2009 @ 6:40 am | delete
    Your story looks like mine except that my partner was violent since the very beginning. I paid for two cures and they failed. We got separated seventeen years ago and he's still alcoholic. Indeed, as you say, it's their decision, not ours. I wasn't as patient as you were and surely didn't love him as much as you love your husband. And I'm happier since I left him as I've ever been ; my son too. Your story deserves 5 stars and much more!
    Dom.
  • pkmcr Dec 28, 2009 @ 2:56 am | delete
    A very powerful and moving story told extremely well. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you continue the journey. Blessed by a Squid Angel
  • mukunda22 Dec 8, 2009 @ 3:56 pm | delete
    I know the story you tell here. It is a nightmare but spiritual recovery will help the story end well.

    Congrats on the Purple Star!

    ####blessed####
  • Cindy_Egan Dec 4, 2009 @ 5:23 pm | delete
    Congratulations on your purple star!
  • Stazjia Dec 2, 2009 @ 7:22 am | delete
    I have the experience of a family member being an alcoholic, currently attempting to give up with the help of AA. For me, it hasn't been a day to day living with someone but the dread knowing that person would be at a family event and how they would behave or that the phone would ring and they would want to have a long talk but were too drunk to make sense. The worry that someone comparatively young was making a mess of their life and killing relationships. It's the powerlessness to help someone you love that is terrible. All I could do was listen, try not to judge or nag, and give quiet encouragement when the decision to go to AA was made.

    Blessed by an Angel.
  • aj2008 Nov 27, 2009 @ 10:36 am | delete
    No one who has not had any experience of having a close family member suffer from alcoholism can possibly completely understand the agony it causes. Thankfully it is not my husband I am thinking about here but you live in fear of a phonecall that they have been arrested or found dead in the gutter somewhere.

    I am so pleased that you and your husband have been able to work through this.

    SqiodAngel Blessings for you and your family.
  • kimmanleyort Nov 27, 2009 @ 10:07 am | delete
    So deserving of a purple star. Your honesty and strength shine through. Your husband must have felt your love for him all along. Congratulations to him for being sober.
  • TheRaggedEdge Nov 26, 2009 @ 7:46 am | delete
    You are a far more understanding and loving woman than I could ever be! Your husband is a lucky man. You are perfectly right - only the person themselves can makes changes - it has to come from within. Well done to him and congratulations on your Purple Star.
  • KimGiancaterino Nov 26, 2009 @ 2:12 am | delete
    Congratulations on your purple star!
  • Jewelsofawe Nov 17, 2009 @ 5:40 pm | delete
    Blessed this lens and I send blessings to you and your husband. I know this story must have been difficult to tell.
  • mitchking Nov 11, 2009 @ 2:58 pm | delete
    Loving someone with an alcohol or other addiction can be very tough. Even when you love someone it can be such a drain on you personally.
  • strayspay Nov 7, 2009 @ 10:13 pm | delete
    Great personal story, the disease behind it is shared by so many. I am lensrolling it to http://www.squidoo.com/addictionafamilydisease.
  • Artemus-Gordon Nov 4, 2009 @ 1:46 pm | delete
    This is a tough relationship. My best friend asked me to help him stop and yet it continued. I felt my efforts were being wasted pouring alcohol down the drain. It was tough and finally ruined our friendship.
  • nightbear Nov 3, 2009 @ 12:26 am | delete
    A remarkable and touching story, Indeed, alcoholism has touched us all in one way or another. thank you for your frankness.
  • clouda9 Nov 2, 2009 @ 3:29 am | delete
    A truly wonderful story of triumph! Thanks for sharing it for all of us to read.
  • CherylK Oct 29, 2009 @ 12:47 pm | delete
    You are very brave. My husband was a quiet drunk. A nice guy who everyone loved. One year I had to travel a lot for business and didn't realize how bad it was getting. The day after I returned home from Dallas he had a grand mal seizure. It was the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced. I thought he was going to die. He was in the hospital for a week. I was scared to death. It was a year before I didn't jump every time he coughed or cleared his throat. He hasn't had a sip of anything in almost three years. He's funny and loving and all of our friends and our kids say he's more fun now than ever. Bless you both.
  • Frankster Oct 29, 2009 @ 12:30 pm | delete
    Thank you for sharing your story so honestly. Bear hugs, Frankie
  • j_barnhart4 Oct 28, 2009 @ 6:19 pm | in reply to KNicholls | delete
    My grandfather and my uncle were both alcoholics (it killed them both) and my sister is a 'pill popper'. Addiction runs in my family so I am determined to have it stop in my generation so that my kids aren't pulled into it. It's nice to know that we aren't the only family in the world with 'issues'.
    Thanks for stopping by my lens - Jessica
  • j_barnhart4 Oct 28, 2009 @ 6:08 pm | in reply to mysticmama | delete
    That is so wonderful for your husband! I'm so glad you were able to work things out together. The love between you guys is obvious. Thanks for the book recommendation. Much love - Jessica
  • KNicholls Oct 28, 2009 @ 5:30 pm | delete
    What an awesome sharing of your soul here. I know it will help others. I am reminded in reading it of my grandfather who was an alcoholic. He never wanted to change that, and yet I loved him anyway. How wonderful that you came out stronger for this experience. Thank you for sharing it.
  • whitemoss Oct 28, 2009 @ 5:27 pm | delete
    A very moving story, and very brave of you to tell it.
    Wishing you all the best in the future.
  • mysticmama Oct 28, 2009 @ 3:48 pm | delete
    Thanks for sharing your story...my hubby celebrated his 11 year sobriety aniversary last March...I'm so happy for you that your hubby's sobriety took the first time around... It took my hubby 8 different rehab/treatment programs, and finally a stay in jail after smashing every window in our house & being kicked out of the house to finally sober up... thankfully he had been sober for 4 years before his accident, otherwise he would have died for sure.
    There is a book by Melody Beattie called "codependant no more" that is a must have for the spouse of any alcoholic.
  • Ramkitten Oct 28, 2009 @ 3:26 pm | delete
    I'm glad that you and your husband--your whole family--have made it through, and I hope the worst of times are well behind you. Thank you for sharing this with us. You've told your story so well.
  • WindyWinters Oct 28, 2009 @ 3:20 pm | delete
    Wonderful and Moving! I'm glad your story had a happy ending and things are working out. Congrats on your 100th Lens! Remarkable Achievement! :)
  • NanLT Oct 28, 2009 @ 3:37 am | delete
    Angel blessings on you. You are a source of inspiration for any spouse dealing with an alcoholic partner.
  • EverythingMouse Oct 27, 2009 @ 1:47 pm | delete
    What a wonderful, honest lens. Blessings to you.
  • mulberry Oct 27, 2009 @ 11:59 am | delete
    I know that must have been a very hard story to tell. Sometimes a relationship is like that in general, it's not always like what you imagined it would be. When faced with alcoholism, abuse, addiction or anything else, the confusion about what to do, how you got there, and how to get things straightened out is even tougher. But once you emerge, you cherish it even more. The fact that the two of you have been through this and your husband has grown in his understanding of his disease bode really well for your futures I think. Bless you all!
  • j_barnhart4 Oct 27, 2009 @ 6:25 am | delete
    I just wanted to thank everyone for their wonderful comments and well wishes. This community is truly amazing - Jessica
  • ElleDeeEsse Oct 27, 2009 @ 4:17 am | delete
    Jessica, I applaud your courage and your strength. Both in living the experience and the retelling of it.
  • sandyspider Oct 27, 2009 @ 2:16 am | delete
    This must of been hard to write. Thanks for sharing it with us.
  • GrowWear Oct 27, 2009 @ 1:48 am | delete
    Sounds like you married a good, and smart, man. Alcoholism is indeed a disease, and I hope that you and your Roger will keep fighting the good fight -- for yourselves and for your children. Kudos! Angel blessed. :)
  • Heather426 Oct 26, 2009 @ 11:15 pm | delete
    What a brave young woman you are! Congrats on making it to 100.
  • mbgphoto Oct 26, 2009 @ 10:25 pm | delete
    Very touching story. I know it took a lot of courage to write. God's blessings to your and your family!

    5* and blessed!
  • puzzlemaker Oct 26, 2009 @ 10:05 pm | delete
    Sniff sniff. Thank you for sharing your story.
  • jptanabe Oct 26, 2009 @ 10:02 pm | delete
    Thank you for sharing your story. Your husband is very blessed to have you by his side.
  • Jewelsofawe Oct 26, 2009 @ 9:07 pm | delete
    Wow! I have been though similar type stuff so I empathize with you. It must not have been easy to share this. I am glad you did though and I am glad I read it. I wish you two happiness and hope for a better tommorrow for you guys one day at a time. Have you tried Al anon for you?
  • CoolFoto Oct 26, 2009 @ 7:55 pm | delete
    May God bless you and your family as you work to build good lives. I was divorced in my 50's and dated 2 men who had alcoholic problems. When you are only dating, you can walk away. You are absolutely right that nobody can change someone else. Each person has to find his own reasons to change.
  • lovingmindexpressionslme Oct 26, 2009 @ 7:27 pm | delete
    Congrats on your 100th lens...and this has so much of your heart wrapped into it. I'm glad to hear that he hit bottom and crawled back up. Sometimes I guess thats the only way. Bless you for standing by him, even from a distance, you're a great wife and mom!
  • LeanneChesser Oct 26, 2009 @ 7:24 pm | delete
    Jessica, this is beautiful. Thanks for doing this even though it was hard. I love the outcome of your story and I wish you and your family the best. I'm sure that this lens will be an inspiration and a blessing to anyone who loves an alcoholic.
  • ChapelHillFiddler Oct 26, 2009 @ 7:23 pm | delete
    Oh, wonderful you. My mom was an alcoholic and it broke my heart. Permanently. She's been dead since 1979 - died at 50 from her drinkingi - but the sadness lingers. Thanks for sharing your happier story.

by

j_barnhart4

I am a stay at home mom of three and a wife to the best husband in the world. I have the luxury of working from home and making money on the side as a... more »

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