Making the best of motherhood.

My mother was born in 1903. That's hard for me to fathom now that we are in another century from that time. You can see by the picture above that it is truly ancient history by now. I have to look at the picture to relate to this time as I came along in a different era. My parents married in the early 20's and raised 6 kids. They did this through the Great Depression when life was anything but easy. I was the last to come along. My mother was 40 when I was born and my oldest sister was just graduating from high school. Age 40 was old in those days; and I didn't have any memories of a young mother. Both parents were "old" when I grew up. That's just the way it was. My mother made the best of life and from my memories accomplished things that I can't imagine having to do. No washers and dryers. No microwaves. She didn't drive and so staying home every day was a way of life.

She spent her days cooking, cleaning, and making things for the house. She sewed clothes, did needlework, embroidered pillowcases, hooked rugs, made curtains, crocheted. Back then they weren't crafts or hobbies. They were making household necessities. I learned these things from her. Now they are my crafts. Life is funny isn't it?

She loved to cook. That was her outlet from the everyday things of life. We had a large garden and a mini-orchard. She cooked wonderful meals. She baked breads every week. We were never without a pie, cobbler or cookies. She canned all the extra produce and made jelly and jams, and pickles. I can honestly say that my life may have been lacking in many extras when growing up; but food was always in abundance. I too enjoy cooking.

Life changed when I turned 14 and learned to drive. I took her places and she really enjoyed her new-found freedom. The fact is I wasn't really old enough to drive legally. My middle brother left his Chevy in the driveway when he enlisted and told me to take care of it. He had no idea what he did. I was 14 at the time. I taught myself to drive...first up and down the driveway, then around the block, then further down the road, and that was the start of my mom's freedom. It wasn't long before we were going to town, then the next town, and across the river into the next state. All this happened before my dad got home from work of course. This was our secret life during his work time. We went shopping. We ate out. We went on picnics. We became secret-agent travelers in the 50's.

One thing about my mother was her love for crossword puzzles. Every day of her life that I recall was spent doing the daily crossword puzzle. The paper was folded and put into the dictionary and was left there until the next day. I became her helper when I was old enough. First I would look up the words and we spent many hours trying to solve the daily puzzle. The next day we looked up the answers in the paper and researched them. My job was to write the new words in the margins and the back and the front of the dictionary so we wouldn't forget them next time. We had a ragged dictionary in time. She worked them as long as she lived. When Scrabble came out in the early 50's, it became a household item. That was our entertainment. I can thank my mother for what turned ultimately to my desire to write. Words became an endearment to me.

My mother loved music. These are my best memories about my mother. Her mother played in church and taught her to play the piano. When my mother grew up she played the piano in the silent movies when all they had was the "mood music". She sat at a piano down in the corner of the theater and played while the movie went on. When she married she no longer had a piano to play. She didn't touch a piano keyboard for over 40 years. I had never heard her play until I was about 16 years old. When she was invited to play someone's piano and sat down to play, I was astonished. Within minutes all ten fingers were flying up and down the keyboard with one song after another. She sounded like an old roller piano. It was magical. When I was grown up I bought her an organ to play. We had sweet times sitting together. I would think of a song and she could belt it out. I learned to play the organ and eventually I graduated to keyboard. As much as I enjoy playing, I will never be my mother.

My parents moved to Florida after retirement. I don't know how this happened; but my mother took a liking to baseball. She was never inclined toward sports in her life...but this got to be a big deal. When she was in her late 60's I took her to an Atlanta Braves baseball game in Atlanta. She could hardly walk by this time but managed to get into the stadium and to her seat. She really enjoyed that game. She spurred my interest in major league baseball; and I watch Braves games to this day when I can.

All in all, I can say that my mother made the best of the life that she lived. She influenced my life more than she ever dared to imagine. In my eyes, she made the most of motherhood doing what she could. We'll have fun again when I see her in heaven. We'll play some songs and even do a crossword puzzle. For now I'll just see her in the mirror every morning as I brush my teeth.

When I was little, I used to ask my mom why did time seem to drag so. She told me to wait till I was older and that would change. This poem says it best.

My Mother's Words
I never understood the words my mother said to me.
Just wait till you get older; and you will come to see.
How quickly time can come and go, and days will seem to fly.
And seasons will become a blur, and years will pass you by.
I know the words my mother said have now become so true.
For time has come and gone for me as surely as she knew.

(ohcaroline copyrighted poem)

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Making the best of motherhood was updated May 29, 2012.