Mapping Midlife

Negotiating midlife transition involves good planning. Investigate what you need to know, who can help you plan, new things to try, support groups and other resources here.

Whether you're reinventing or tweaking, make the next thirty to fifty years incredible!

Seven Key Decisions

How will you map the second half of the journey?

Many people who have difficult midlife transitions are victims of poor planning. There's an old career planning book entitled, "If You Don't Know Where You're Going, Your Likely to End Up Somewhere Else." This sums up midlife for some.

Here are seven decision areas to consider if you want smooth sailing:

1. What will my legacy be?
2. What meaningful work do I now want to do?
3. How can I fulfill my need to nurture?
4. How can I sustain meaningful relationships in my life?
5. How can I express myself creatively?
6. How can I meet my spiritual needs?
7. What surroundings do I want?

If you can answer these, you will easily see who you want in your life, where you need to be and what you most want to do.

Fantasize. Research. Visualize. Take notes.
Create a map for yourself.

Good advice, a few laughs and great chocolate

Adventures in Self-Expression - at Midlife and Beyond: Ready for Adventures in self-expression? Need executive coaching to step up your game? Exploring creating a wonderful new life? Start here!
Mapping Midlife Today - Revisiting and Revisioning Adulthood: This article reviews some of the research on midlife transition for women and suggests how to create a smooth transition.
Midlife Fairy Godmothers: Practical advice and good laughs to ease the transition.
Womens health, fitness, book and music reviews at Concerning Women.com: Finally, a free information resource concerning issues of today's woman. You will be kept up-to-date on concerns such as women's health and well being, business, fitness, book and music reviews and much more...
Goodies from Jaques Torres: Wicked Hot Chocolate, passion fruit chocolates; on line or in person, some of the best chocolate I know.
It's BoomerTime!: Time to have a magnificently FUN and fulfilled life - for the rest of our life.
Midlife as seen by Psychology Today: Here's one take on what midlife looks like. The article includes links to other articles on midlife in the Psychology Today archives.
2 Young 2 Retire - A Full Life Starts Here: Typical Boomers may leave their jobs with a retirement package and then gear up for a whole new career - or set off on a great adventure - or reinvent themselves in some other way. Find out why most of us are too young to retire, buy the book, find a coach or a seminar, or just browse.
The Vitality Queen: Start thinking about how to lead a vibrant, vital life here.

Life-Work Cafe

Musings about careers, change, life and work - freshly brewed.

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Using the Bonus Decades

What the over-50's are up to

Take a glimpse at some of the things "adultescents" are up to. What's an adultescent? Anyone in second adulthood reinventing themself! relationship

Doctor, Part 2: MSNBC describes doctors coming out of early retirement to provide free health care.
Anna Mary Robertson Moses: Yes, that's Grandma Moses to most of us - the poster gal for 'It's never too late ..."
Need Stuff?: Who knew? A whole sit on marketing to Seniors. Take a peek to see what the trends are.
It's Boomer Time: Time to have a magnificently FUN and fulfilled life - for the rest of our life.

Looking for Work?

Job sites for all us over 50 folks

This list was compiled by one of the many remarkably helpful contributors to Barbara Sher's Bulletin Board.

Retiree Careers: Comprehensive job site that includes articles of interest to 50+ folks.
Retired Brains: Retire and work, work after retirement, work while retired, retire and volunteer, senior jobs. Part-time, full-time, temporary jobs for retirees.
Corporate Social Networking: No jobs here, but there's always the possibility of making great connections. This is very much like LinkedIn.
Job and Career Resources for Mature and Older Job-Seekers: Job and career resources for baby boomers, mature job-seekers, and older
workers who are looking for new job, work, or career change possibilities.
Barbara Sher's Official Website: Barbara Sher presents a unique perspective on self- improvement. She is a career counselor and bestselling author, who is dedicated to showing you how to do what you love.
Log on to the Board to get great advice from Sher's fantastic following - and sometimes from Barbara herself.

Read About the Job Search

These are a few of the best resources to help you think about - and move into - your next career.

What Color Is Your Parachute? 2006: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers

by: Richard Nelson Bolles

Amazon Price: (as of 11/09/2009)

The Pathfinder: How to Choose or Change Your Career for a Lifetime of Satisfaction and Success

by: Nicholas Lore

Amazon Price: $11.99 (as of 11/09/2009)

Don't Retire, REWIRE!

by: Jeri Sedlar, Rick Miners

Amazon Price: (as of 11/09/2009)

Get the Interview Every Time: Fortune 500 Hiring Professionals' Tips for Writing Winning Resumes and Cover Letters

by: Brenda Greene

Amazon Price: (as of 11/09/2009)

Resume Magic: Trade Secrets of a Professional Resume Writer, 2nd Edition

by: Susan Britton Whitcomb

Amazon Price: (as of 11/09/2009)

Surroundings

Where You Live is Important

Where do I want to live? This seems to be a burning question for many of us at retirement age. I hear it from my clients and my friends and I've been thinking about it myself.
Make three lists to help you think about your surroundings.
List 1 - what do I want in my surroundings? This includes physical layout (think about stairs, for instance), amount of space, own or rent, view or no view, city, suburbs or country, access to transportation, price range (including extra charges like maintenance, heat, water and electricity),access to activities (try to be realistic about the things you actually DO not the ones you've always thought you might do), access to friends, access to medical providers, climate - keep adding your own items.
List 2 - What do I absolutely need? This list includes your bare minimum requirements winnowed down from list #1. It should also include cost factors - I can't spend more than $XXXX.
List 3 - What do I absolutely NOT want? You may be surprised by what shows up here. Maybe you don't wanto to ever shovel snow or have upstairs neighbors or be within spittin' distance of your relatives.
Use these three lists to research every possible location. Take good notes on how each meets your criteria. Try your top three on for size before you make a big decision, if you can.
I've been visiting retired friends over the past several months and can attest to the power of location. Those who chose well are involved in all kinds of new activities as well as being able to continue those they've always loved. A few have become much nicer human beings away from the stressors in their old environment. Some chose poorly and are miserable, fighting with stairs or financial constraints or noise or undesirable neighbors.
Who will you be?

You Want to Live Where?

Relocation Assistance

In one of my regular magazine rack sweeps, I discovered that there is a whole magazine - and a thick one at that - devoted to selecting a retirement comunity. It reminded me how we have redefined life past the 9 to 5. By the time I'd finished turning pages I had half a dozen vacation locations in mind.
Our second act will not look like our parents' or grandparents'. People looking for a geographic change at midlife are looking for growth, involvement, and fulfillment. They are hoping to flex a different set of muscles.
What do you want for the next act of your life? What are your hopes, your dreams, you values? Make these part of your surroundings decision.

Visit Your Dream Locations

Relationships

What's important to you?

Somewhere in those bonus decades, we notice shifts in our relationships. Our spouse or partner may leave; friends move on to retirement communities, homes near family, or the great beyond; our interests may leave us feeling disconnected from long-time acquaintances; our children have grown up and spend less time with us.
This is the time to think long and hard about core relationships and what's most important. What kind of support network do you need? A live-in partner? A room mate? A circle of friends? Do you prefer to be involved with a group or a select few? Do you need dinner partners, theater-mates, hiking comrades, or simply a listening ear?
Friendships can be equally strong locally or virtually. What works for you?
Make a list of activities you prefer to do alone and those you prefer to do in the company of others.
Find groups that fit your needs. There are business groups, social groups, virtual groups, and groups for every special interest you can think of. There are "silver" dating services. There are thousands of organizations hoping that you'll volunteer.
We all need a support network. Check on the health of yours.

Not Your Parents' Retirement

Did they do it better?

The Orlando Sentinal published an article by Jane Glass Haas,citing Sandra Timmerman's research on aging Boomers. Haas says that many of them are ill-prepared and feel theat they will not fare as well as their parents. She points out that the world is more complex now - although others have argued that we simply may have distorted memories of our parents, retirement. She reminds us that many of us were raised in an age of great entitlement.

Timmerman suggests that everyone contemplating retirement should think about working with a life coach to figure out what they want to do with the next 30 or so years and a financial advisor to figure out how to afford it.

Some of us have been ants and amassed stores for winter. Some of us have been grasshoppers and have had a really good time spending perhaps somewhat faster than we earned. Some of us simply never earned enough - or never thought we earned enough - to save.

I took a quick survey of my retired friends and found a high income of $15,000 a month to a low of $2,400. And people at every point in between. If you find yourself at the low end, it's not too late.

Go find yourself a financial advisor. NOW. Or go to the AARP website and use all the wonderful forms there. It's possible to start to save past 60 and, with good budgeting but not undue pain, stash away enough to add $1,500 a month to your retirement income.

You still have some good earning years ahead of you. Do it now!

Building a Family

It's More Than Biology

As a childless woman, the notion of being a grandmother didn't seem likely, but I wasn't about to let that stop me. I wanted to be somebody's grandmother. Luckily, my wonderful quasi-goddaughter was more than willing to cooperate. After all, I'd always been her second mother, so why not just extend that? So now I'm a Q-G (that's quasi-grandma to the uninitiated) to a brilliant and adorable little boy. And I'm loving it. The moral? Don't regret - reinvent! Create the family you want.

Second Adolescence?

So what do we call this, anyhow?

Mapping Midlife is the title of this lens, and yet that's not really the right name for this time of life, is it? Somehow, like middle-age spread, the boundaries of this category have spread, creeping down to 40 and up, up, up - sometimes past 60. Now, at 40, midlife sounds about right. Many of us will make it beyond 80. But at 50? Even though Willard Scott's load gets heavier, not all of us will see our faces on that Smuckers jar. And at 60? I, for one, would prefer not to contemplate 120.
More and more research compares this time of life to adolescence. So are we adultescents? Middolescents? Twice-teens? Reteens? Teeniors?
Our grandparents didn't have these issues - they sailed from adult to Senior with no pause. But fewer of them had decades to deal with past 50. Most of us will.
So what do we call this, anyow?

Dr. Susan's School for Dilettantes

For the inner dilettante in all of us

Travel, food, events and musing about enjoyment

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How to ...What to ... When to - read all about it!

The Breaking Point: How Female Midlife Crisis Is Transforming Today's Women

by: Sue Shellenbarger

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Not Your Mother's Midlife: A Ten-Step Guide to Fearless Aging

by: Nancy Alspaugh, Marilyn Kentz

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Outsmarting the Midlife Fat Cell: Winning Weight Control Strategies for Women Over 35 to Stay Fit Through Menopause

by: M.p.h.,, Debra Wterhouse

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Amazon Price: $12.95 (as of 11/09/2009)

Crossing to Avalon: A Woman's Midlife Quest for the Sacred Feminine

by: Jean Shinoda Bolen

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Amazon Price: $13.22 (as of 11/09/2009)

Single Woman of a Certain Age: 29 Women Writers on the Unmarried Midlife--Romantic Escapades, Empty Nests, Shifting Shapes, and Serene Independence

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Fearless Women: Midlife Portraits

by: Nancy Alspaugh, Marilyn Kentz, Mary Ann Halpin

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Dear Heart, Come Home: The Path of Midlife Spirituality

by: Joyce Rupp

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Amazon Price: $11.53 (as of 11/09/2009)

Midlife Mamas on the Moon: Celebrate Great Health, Friendships, Sex, and Money and Launch Your Second Life

by: Sunny Hersh

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Amazon Price: $13.45 (as of 11/09/2009)

If Not Now when: Reclaiming Ourselves at Midlife

by: Stephanie Marston

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Amazon Price: $11.16 (as of 11/09/2009)

Changing Course: Women's Inspiring Stories of Menopause, Midlife, and Moving Forward

by: Yitta Halberstam, Yitta Halberstam Mandelbaum

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Amazon Price: $10.36 (as of 11/09/2009)

Flying Solo: Single Women in Midlife

by: Carol M. Anderson, Sona Dimidjian, Susan Stewart

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Amazon Price: $12.52 (as of 11/09/2009)

Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up

by: James Hollis

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Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood

by: Suzanne Braun Levine

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Amazon Price: $10.20 (as of 11/09/2009)

In the Ever After: Fairy Tales and the Second Half of Life

by: Allan B. Chinen

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Amazon Price: $23.95 (as of 11/09/2009)

10 Busy People

Look what they did after 50!

Just a little inspiration in case you're feeling too old to do absolutely everything.

At age 55:
Ella T. Grasso became the first woman to become an American governor on her own, not as the wife of a previous incumbent.
At age 76:
Artur Rubinstein gave a concert in London. He gave occasional performances well into his 80s.
At age 59:
Einstein achieved a major new result in the general theory of relativity.
At age 55:
Painter Pablo Picasso completed his masterpiece, Guernica.
At age 80:
Jessica Tandy became the oldest Oscar recipient for her work in Driving Miss Daisy.
At age 59:
Clara Barton founded the American Red Cross.
At age 55:
Richard Daniel Bass reached the summit of Mount Everest.
At age 59:
English novelist and journalist Daniel Defoe wrote his first and most famous novel, The Life and Adventures of Robinson Crusoe.
At age 80:
George Burns became the second oldest Oscar recipient for his work in The Sunshine Boys.
At age 59:
"Satchel" Paige became the oldest Major League baseball player.

You're Only As Old As You Think

A few interesting thoughts on aging gracefully

On the Way to over the Hill : A Guide to Aging Gracefully

by: Grace Lee

Amazon Price: $12.95 (as of 11/09/2009)

Coming of Age Gracefully

Amazon Price: (as of 11/09/2009)

Retirement Places Rated: What You Need to Know to Plan the Retirement You Deserve, Sixth Edition

by: David Savageau

Amazon Price: (as of 11/09/2009)

The Joy of Not Working: A Book for the Retired, Unemployed and Overworked- 21st Century Edition

by: Ernie J. Zelinski

Amazon Price: $11.53 (as of 11/09/2009)

Too Young to Retire: 101 Ways To Start The Rest of Your Life

by: Marika Stone, Howard Stone

Amazon Price: $10.40 (as of 11/09/2009)

Easing Relocation Transition

This is modified from Where to Retire, http://www.wheretoretire.com/, a great magazine for anyone over 50 thinking about relocation, whether or not you ever plan to reture.

Look for a socioeconomic match - feel comfortable that you can live well within your means.
Find and join groups that share your passion - hiking, cooking, theater - there's a group for almost anything.
Observe the social networks to see if they meet your needs - think about how much interaction you want or need.
Read the local papers to see if the area activities appeal to you. This is a great way to pick up information about the tone and values of the area as well.
Visit your new neighbors to begin to develop a network.
Invite people in for a meal - dinner, a weekend brunch - make it casual and easy and allow for lots of interaction.
Get involved early - join clubs, volunteer, join civic or religious organizations, find a book club or special interest group.
Don't push new relationships. Carole Jacobs, who developed the original version of this list reminds us that this is a lot like dating. Go slow and keep your eyes open!

Dr. Susan's School for Dilettantes

Because we all need to nurture our inner dilettante.

New finds, a few ideas and thoughts about variety in life.

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What's on Your Mind?

Suggestions, feedback and questions welcome

Here's the place to tell me what you think about what you've seen here and what else you'd like to see. Hope to hear from you!

Lensmaster

drsusan wrote...

Thanks, Linda!

Posted November 10, 2008

Lensmaster

ChangeYourLife wrote...

Hello,
I love the how thorough this lens is. You have a great sense of humor.

Thank you,
Linda DeNike

Posted October 31, 2008

Lensmaster

wrote...

Excellent information about mapping midlife, I rated 5 stars for your valuable lens and I think this will be helpful to the people,
If you have a chance, Please look my lens at career search,
thanks you very much.

Posted May 12, 2008

Lensmaster

Meloramus wrote...

I still have a way to go until midlife, but I really like the way you've supplied this information. 5*

Posted September 27, 2007

Lensmaster

drsusan wrote...

I just love Nancy's attitude. That's the way to make sure your next 30 years are magnificent!

Posted September 14, 2007

view all 7 comments

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