Marital Infidelity Help and Healing

If you've loved your spouse and family, aimed your hopes and dreams in the direction of building on that for the rest of your life, and suddenly find yourself in the black-hole of marital infidelity, you know how extremely difficult it often is to extricate yourself from the pit.

How do you heal from marital infidelity? How do you save the relationship from this curse?

When you face the numbing power of marital infidelity, how do you make it from one week to the next, from one day to the next, from one hour to the next?

You make it gradually through marital infidelity.

You make it through marital infidelity step by step.

You may feel as if you are in a dark pit and see no light, see no way up and out. And, that feeling is to be honored and accepted.

However, as dark as it may seem, as I say, "This too shall pass."

There will be movement. There is movement - you may not see it, you may not know it, you may not know how to measure it - but it is there.

There are steps or stages you will move through. They are predictable. I've seen it over and over again. People in my chat room report the changes, the movement, the healing, the extrication from the pit time and time again.

After working as an infidelity coach with hundreds of couples and thousands of individuals, I've come to identify the changes and shifts most go through as they navigate the turbulent waters of marital infidelity.

I'm in the process of extensively researching these stages. However, they are crystal clear to me as I observe the movement from devastation to redesign.

Please know that these stages are often not distinct. There often is overlap. One hour you feel immobilized. The next hour you think of your "mistakes" and what you could or should have done to somehow prevent this. The next hour your mind is cascading with scenarios of revenge. And then, you go back to that terrorizing fear and sense of victimization.

It is truly difficult, at times, to measure and determine where you are at that moment.

However, most find, that when they are able to stand back mentally from their pain and angst, and when they receive constructive feedback and input from an objective person, they begin the see the trail of their healing and transformation. This does happen.

Sometimes, when we stand next to the tree, we cannot see the forest.

How can this help you? How can you use this?

First, pay close attention to the stages. Just notice them. Let them sink into your mind. Take them with you.

Then, as you move through the day with your fears, pain, anger, etc. a part of you will develop that will stand back and say, "Oh, this is where I'm at now. Last week it was a little different."

This discipline in and of itself will offer a measure of relief.

Please know that I'm "filling in the blanks" on these steps or stages. I have more articles and information on the specifics of each step. More will be coming.