Marriage Kansas City

photo by Roger Price

I heard it as a joke from a guy friend of mine. I'm not so sure it's a joke, unless when he finds out his marriage is kaput, then the joke may be on him.

Man comes home form work. His wife, who's just finished watching the :"Oprah Show" says, "Honey, how come you don't tell me you love me anymore?" The husband says' "Why do you ask?"

Wife: "Well, This expert on the Oprah Show says it helps to keep a marriage healthy if the couple tells each other they love them every day."

"That Oprah!" the husband says. "She creates more trouble that she fixes. Honey I told you on our wedding day 'I love you' and if there's ever a change in that, I'll let you know!"

If your boss told you that about your work performance, wouldn't you eventually begin to feel insecure, wonder where you stood? If teachers didn't give students feedback, how would the student know where they were in their educational development? But in marriage, we often assume our mate knows how we feel, like they are supposed to read our minds. No one is a mind reader. Anyway, isn't it good to hear we are loved and to have that reinforced?

A band plays their heart our for an audience. There is no response from the audience. How do think that will begin to affect the bands performance? "Hey," the band leader says. "Anybody out there? Anybody listening? How are we doing? Do you like what we're playing?"

Silence. Finally a man stands up. He yells. "Darn it. I came here to listen, not to talk or clap or yell. When or if your performance sucks, we'll "Boo" and let you know. Otherwise," he says, "Play on!" I don't care how many CDs that band has sold. They still want to hear form their audience they are loved.

Give you mate and partner feedback on a regular basis; weekly, daily. "Hi honey. I'm home and I still love you. You're the best." Simple concept. It's called R-E-I-N-F-O-R-C-E-M-E-N-T.