Every year thousands of tourists visit Turkey and fall in love with its beautiful scenery, its lifestyle, hospitality and its people. No surprise there.

Perhaps no surprise either that thousands of foreign women every year fall for the charms of the swarthy local working in their hotel, waiting on their table, serving their drinks or selling them a boat trip. Romantic setting, romantic man - why not?

But would you be surprised to know that many of these holiday romances every year don't end as holiday flings, but become ongoing long distance relationships and (often within the year) marriages?

Maybe you're just back, missing him already and wondering if you'll ever see him again. Maybe your friend is the one whose phone has not stopped beeping since the baggage carousel. Maybe you've kept in touch with your ashkim for a year now and wondering what the future holds.

Is it worth it? Can it last? Is it love, or is he a Visa Geezer?

I can't answer that, but I can tell you a thing or two......

You've just got back from your Turkish holiday. You can still picture his tearful face as he waved off your coach on the way to the airport. Your heart leaps as you read and re-read the sms texts that were already on your phone when you switched it on at the baggage carousel.

But back in the cold of an English (/European /American) day, is it all drifting into memory or are you seriously thinking of giving in to his pleas that you return before the end of the season? Could it possibly......? Should you....? Does he have......?

Nooooo, stupid idea you tell yourself. A new coachload of tourists has arrived by now, and another girl is receiving the paper roses he makes out of napkins. Or.....? Maybe... Would it be crazy? Surely one more trip can't hurt.... Just to be sure.

Lesson number 1. You are not alone.

Picture in your mind's eye the beachfront hotels and cafes of the resort you visited, and the famous Bar Street (one in every resort!). Recall the number of staff, with their ready smiles and cheeky phrases. If even half of these guys had at least one romance per season, imagine how many girls and women that makes? Now multiply that by all the resorts in Turkey that you can name.

That's a lot of romances! A lot of women! So it follows suit that there are thousands of women who are feeling or have felt what you are feeling now.

Do a google search, and you will find msn groups, yahoo groups, facebook groups, forums and chatsites - where women meet together to share tips, make friends, expose the loverats and debate the issues that matter to women like you.

Then go to your newsagents and scan the front pages of the women's mags - "I married my Turkish Toyboy", "My Mum ran off with the Turkish Barman", "My Turkish Delight cost me £10,000".

Yep, you're definitely not alone! And if you're brave enough to tell your friends/ family/ work colleagues, you'll soon find that everyone has an opinion, a tale to tell you, a warning to give. Many of them will know someone whose daughter/ friend/ neighbour married a Turkish man.

But why does no one seem to understand? They haven't met him, so why do they assume he's forgotten you already? How can they know? Why does everyone have to judge him?

So you rush off to confide in your new cyber buddies, post on just about every Turkey-related forum and decide that these are the people that understand. You look at all the wedding photos and dare to dream of a ceremony on Icmeler beach....

Ok.... or Tamam as they say in Turkey. Here's my first tip. Keep things in perspective.

Your friends and family (and even some of your colleagues) are worried about you.

They may have prejudices. They may have opinions that are based on those articles in Take a Break, and they may never have been to Turkey. Your internet friends in comparison have been there, done it, bought the fake designer t-shirt..... they understand!

But don't turn your back on the people who care. One day you may have the quiet satisfaction of thanking them for attending your wedding. On the other hand, they may be the ones handing you another kleenex tissue when it turns out he DID have another girl, and you WEREN'T different from all the others......

Time will tell.

If you want to keep those friends onside, maybe even to accompany you to Turkey when you need a travel buddy who doesn't mind being a gooseberry, you don't want them thinkng you're a naive fool who's headed for a fall.

Try something like this.....

"You're probably right. I know, there's a coachload of girls arriving every week. It's probably impossible. I'm not expecting too much. But you know what? I'm happy NOW. I'm loving the attention. It's an adventure, the chance to see another culture/ have a couple of cheap holidays/ go back and buy you another designer handbag. I'm just enjoying it".

And mean it!

If in your heart, you truly believe him when he tells you how special you are, how different from other girls, how this is the first time he's ever felt this way and implores you to believe him and not break his heart by doubting him...... If you really, really believe that..... wake up girl! Smell the kahve!

Maybe it's all true - maybe you ARE the one he's been waiting for. But, it's just too soon to know. There are too many conmen, actors, visahunters and players for you to be able to afford to give your heart so soon.

Enjoy every minute. By all means, give it time and room to grow. Keep an open mind.

Just keep one foot on the ground. If the bad guys had Rat written all over them, or were so easy to spot, there would not be so many heartbreaks.... or so many women kicking themselves for handing over gifts/ money/ visa sponsorships.... Some of these guys are very good at what they do. Their living (and new mobile phone) depends on it.

But before you write me off as a cynic, a bitter woman scorned, another one who doesn't undertand and just wants to lecture..... I'm happily married to my Turk. One of the lucky ones!

And I hope you are too. Or rather, I hope you will be. The aim of this page is to point out a few of the scams, share some tips, teach you a little Turkish, make a few friends.

Part 3 will be about how to cope with the long distance, and watch for early warning signs.

Kendine iyi bak / Look after yourself!

Link coming up!